The train ride was awkward for everyone, except maybe Peter. Remy sat with Peter and Sirius, but down on the floor so she wouldn't have to touch anyone. She had considered sitting with the girls, but she was still livid with Lily.

Remus was sitting with the girls. He hadn't exactly been thrilled to find out that Remy still had feeling for Sirius. He knew it was stupid of him to think that they'd ever turn into something, but that last month of summer had been so perfect.

To top it all off James had made Headboy and he was trapped in a compartment with Lily. He wouldn't look at her as she kept trying to run over the details of their coming meeting. Everything had gone to shit after that party.

"Potter you're not listening."

"No, I'm not. You run the meeting. You have all the ideas."

"No, we are meant to do this together. I'm not going to just do all the work and let you get all the glory."

"Fine Evans, I'll lead. Let me see your notes."

James read over Lily's notes quietly and shocked her with how well he was able to lead. He used his natural charm and was even kind to the Slytherins. Lily could hardly contain her shock.

"You did really well."

"Thanks Evans, turns out I'm not terrible at everything," James said coldly as he walked out.

Lily was left alone fighting back tears. Everyone had been freezing her out over the last week. That night she was drunk and embarrassed and she so regretted what she'd done.

"Lily?"

"Hey Remus, sorry I'm just feeling a bit overwhelmed."

"Prongs not pulling his weight?"

"No, he actually did great, which is almost more frustrating. I'm sorry Remus. I'm sorry for causing this whole mess."

"You're not the idiot who shagged his best mate."

"Have you talked to her?"

"No, she's not really talking to anyone. And I don't know what to say to her anyway. I knew this was a bad idea and I just did it anyway."

"You can't help who you fall for."

"But I can fucking control myself or I used to be able to. That's why nothing ever happened with us."

"What?"

"Oh come off it Lily. Back in fourth year you were all over me. You'd wait outside my lessons to try and run into me."

"I thought I was so clever," Lily said laughing as her face went bright red.

"No Lils, it was awful. Prongs wouldn't talk to me for weeks."

"Well he's an overbearing prat."

"Come on Lily, looks like we're here."

The pair exited to a huge crowd forming on the station. Ministry officials were standing around Remy and she had no expression. Suddenly she took of running into the woods and Sirius and James were tearing after her. Remus dropped his bag and took of after the boys.

It didn't take Remus long to find them. Remy was lying in the middle of the of a clearing sobbing. James and Sirius were both standing back, but Remus didn't hesitate sit down beside her. Remy rested her head in his lap and just sobbed.

"Remy, love, what happened?"

"He's dead," Remy sobbed.

Remus didn't need more than that to know she meant Derek. The only real family Remy ever knew.

"What happened?"

"They said it was a hate crime. The aurors found Derek and Lyra brutally murdered in their small apartment. They think it might be connected to those muggle murders. The same face was on their wall," James explained.

"It's called a dark mark," Sirius mumbled.

"What?"

"It's called a dark mark. My parents have them as tattoos. It's part of some kind of society. They started following this crazy wizard that bought into the whole blood purity shit."

"It was because Lyra was a werewolf," Remy said softly siting up and wrapping her arms around herself.

"What?"

"She's right. Lyra was muggle born too, so she would represent everything they hated."

"You knew, didn't you?" Remy asked looking at Sirius with cold eyes.

"No, Remy come on. They don't even talk to me."

"Your mom still sends you letters."

This shocked Remus and James. Sirius had always made it sound like he had no contact with his family.

"They're just treats and slurs."

"Did they know about Lyra from you?"

"No! Remy I haven't ever written back. I've never told them anything," Sirius voice cracked and he looked heartbroken.

Lyra fell back into sobs and collapsed into Sirius. She kept muttering apologies and he whispered back to her. James and Remus were wrapped around them and they stayed like that until Dumbledore cleared his throat.

"Ms. Banks, I can offer nothing but my sincere apologies. Classes shall be suspended for a week and we are more than willing to allow you all the time you need. Mr. Potter and Mr. Lupin I must pull you away to help organize the students during this difficult time."

That left Sirius and Remy together into the ever darkening wood. Remy returned to sobs as soon as the boys left and Sirius could do nothing but hold her while she cried.

"Hey, love why don't we skip the castle tonight?"

"I don't think we should just sleep out here Sirius."

"I know a place we can crash."

Sirius led her silently through the woods. And they came out into an alley in Hogsmeade. There was a small inn down a little path and Sirius led them inside. Dressed in their Hogwarts robes it was obvious they shouldn't be there, but Sirius offered enough galleons that no one said anything. He took Remy upstairs and stepped out to buy enough cigarettes and booze to help numb the pain.

"I'm sorry Sirius, I shouldn't have said that stuff."

"You get a pass today."

"You're uncle died right after your parents disowned you right?"

"Yeah, he was the only good family I ever knew. He never had any kids, but was always kind to me and my cousins. All my happy memories as a kid were in his house."

"How do you do it? Derek always made things okay. He always looked after me. I should have gone sailing with him. I should have written more."

"Stop Rem, that's not going to help. Derek loved you. I don't have a magic secret to being alone in the world. It always hurts not having a family."

Remy began drinking heavily and trying to numb out the pain. Sirius wasn't going to stop her tonight.

"Do you really love me?" Remy asked after about half a bottle of firewhiskey.

"Yeah, Rems I do."

"Why?"

"I don't know, Remy. You're the only person I've never had to hide stuff from. Even when I do fucked up shit you don't hold it against me. You make me crazy, but also stupid happy.

"I don't know if I'll ever love anyone."

"I felt like that until I met you," Sirius said not meeting her eye.

Remy walked over and curled up in his lap. Using him like this was wrong, but she didn't care. She needed him to hold her and promise things wouldn't always hurt this much.