Approval

"Yes?" He now questioned, "Did you want to ask me something?"

She curled her lips to the left and shook her head. After a moment, she straightened her face and said, "No, sir." She smiled and sighed, "I just need to get some rest. My mind is traveling into ... a ...strange place. I will talk to you tomorrow." Perhaps it was his mind that was going into a strange place. This was why Vulcans denied their emotions. It had been illogical to even think to answer her question, even more illogical because she had not asked him one, and most illogical because even if she had, his response should have been, "Emotions are irrelevant." His casual and comfortable acceptance of their unspoken emotions had damaged some part of his logic, long before she grew to accept their unspoken emotions. He should have known that as a human, a day would come for her when such acceptance would not be enough for her desires.

He bowed slightly, and offered in a gentlemanly manner, "Very well." Spock turned and went back into his chambers and she stood there for a while before heading back to her own living space. His tone resounded in her ears.

The first "yes" - "Yes, Nyota." She knew that it was an answer to a question she had been wanting to ask for quite some time, and never had the courage, nor did she know what she would ever do with a positive answer to such a question... Now that she officially had her answer, she knew even less what to do with it than when she dreamed of having it.

Spock reentered his room and his parents were seated on his sofa. Amanda held up an earring and announced, "I believe this may be your friend's, Spock."

Spock sighed, slightly and took the earring from her hand as he told her, "Mother, I find your relentless pursuit exhausting. I am sure this was not your intention, but you have offended the lieutenant, by suggesting that our relation to each other is unethical. She seemed quite upset with you as she proceeded to her living quarters. In the future, as illogical as you are, try to refrain from upsetting Starfleet students, particularly those whom I work with."

Amanda's eyes widened with surprise and she softly promised, "I will certainly apologize to her when I see her, next. And I suppose that I should leave the subject alone." Spock nodded and placed the earring on the counter. Amanda fought the urge to laugh as she added, "But, if anyone did want to know, I do approve." Once again, to Amanda, Spock's eyes briefly betrayed his pleasure.

He glanced at the clock and stated, "The hour is late. Father and yourself must leave soon to receive a sufficient amount of rest for tomorrow's schedule."

Amanda nodded, "You are correct." Sarek stood and Amanda with him. Amanda hugged Spock again and said, "Good night, Spock." He nodded and saw the two of them out.

Spock prepared himself for bed and upon heading that way heard his door slide open. He turned and saw Uhura entering with a silky white dress on, which showed her shoulders, but fell to her ankles. He felt a catch in his throat, but did not allow her to notice her affect on him. She approached him and stared into his eyes as she spoke softly, but urgently, "I will not stay long, but I can not sleep, and I had to speak to you before I can even think to try to go to sleep... earlier, you said "Yes, Nyota", and I simply have to know what that means."

He stared at her and replied evenly, "It seemed to me that you understood..."

She held out her hands as she cut him off to tell him, "Maybe I did, but I can not know unless you confirm it, and I can not leave here until I know. You are Vulcan, Spock. Our minds do not naturally work the same and it may be that we were thinking completely different things. It may even be that I am as illogical and maybe even more than all of the other humans that you know and your response will help me to know whether or not I am going crazy. Whiloe there is absolutely no logical reason you should indulge me, maybe you could simply just be honest with me in order to set me straight."

Spock folded his hands behind his back and explained to her, "It meant that my mother has been precise in her assumptions."

Uhura let out a deep sigh, but she did not know what emotion to feel. She felt relieved to know, but not that she knew and it was confirmed, she still did not know what to do. She simply looked at him and said, "Thank you for being honest with me." Spock nodded once and she turned to leave, then paused at the door and said,

"It is mutual." She could not bring herself to turn and see his reaction, and wondered if she should have even confessed. How in the world could she face him the next day? She left the room and wandered through the halls for a moment. Her realization did not help her gain easier access to sleep.

When Spock entered his office, to his surprise, Nyota was not there. He glanced at the clock – generally she arrived quite some time before he did. He wanted to speak with her on their discussion of the previous night. At the time, there was no logical response to her confession, as her request to know of his feelings was an illogical request.

He thought to the previous night.

"It is mutual," he heard her say. He stared her back, wondering if there was something which she expected him to say. When she left the room, he thought to follow her and ask her if there was something in particular he should tell her, but he reasoned that if she wanted to know anything else, she would have asked. He would not tell her that on some nights, he could imagine her singing to herself, and the thoughts of the sound of her voice helped him to sleep. He would not tell her that on many days, he insisted on keeping the office door completely shut so that her scent could remain inside of the office after she left. There would be no purpose for her knowing these things. It was possible that she would want to know, but Spock decided to proceed with caution in his words.

Uhura entered the office, almost right after him. There were bags under her eyes, but she appeared upbeat as she said,

"Hello, Commander Spock. I'm sorry - I can not stay long today. I certainly hope that you have my tasks prepared, because I have to spend some quality time in the Linguistics Lab and I have some markings to do for a few other instructors, not to mention, a lecture to prepare..." Spock noted to himself that she reminded him of certain students when they failed to complete an assignment. She was offering him excuses, and he did not need any.

He cut her off to tell her, "There is really not much that I have planned for you today, if you need to leave immediately."

Uhura nodded, never actually glancing at his face, "Thank you, Sir." She practically ran from the office and he decided that perhaps it was not the proper time for a discussion. Then, he wondered if a discussion even should take place. She seemed out of character, but she did not seem hurt or disturbed. Spock stood in his doorway for a moment and watched her head away with her tote bag on her shoulder. He entered the office again and began to finish his preparations for his next class.

Uhura rushed back to her room and laid back down, in her full uniform. She laid down for what felt like hours, and still received no sleep. She felt slightly guilty about lying to Spock, but once she saw his face, she knew that there was no way that she could sit with him for three hours; not after last night's conversation, and not on an hour and thirty minutes of sleep.

She glanced at her clock and noticed that she had been in the same position for three hours – her entire time frame normally dedicated to helping Spock. She pulled herself out of bed and gathered her things for the rest of her day. She did have other things scheduled, and she saw no reason to cancel any of them out, aside from feeling extremely exhausted.

Spock found himself annoyed when another day came on which Lt. Uhura insisted that she was too busy to assist him. This second day proved especially strange, because when he asked her what types of assignments were tying her up, (so that he might help) she remained aloof about details. Spock got the impression that she was lying to him. He did not let her see how much this thought bothered him.

Amanda stopped by his office, stood in the doorway and spoke, "Your father is in a meeting, so I ventured out and decided to stop by and visit you. Where is Lt. Uhura?"

Spock glanced at Uhura's workspace and replied, "She is quite busy with other projects."

There was something in his tone which caused Amanda to ask, "Is there a problem, Spock?" He nudged his head towards the door and she stepped inside so that it could slide closed.

"I think that Nyota has been lying to me. Yesterday and today, she has claimed to be too busy to assist me here. It has not been a problem for my workload, because I have no extreme excess. I find myself in an odd mind frame when I contemplate the possibility of her lying to me. I am not exactly sure how to describe it."

"Are you hurt?"

"No." he answered quickly. "I am... confused. I see no reason to lie. I especially see no reason for her to lie to me."

Amanda pondered a moment. "Do you think it is because of me?"

Spock tilted his head slightly, "No. It is because of me."

Amanda now turned her head at an angel as she looked at him, "What about you?" He lowered his head, "I would not like my father to be told of this." Amanda sighed and nodded. "After you left, she returned and we vaguely exchanged confessions of emotions towards each other. She left before the matter was fully discussed. She may be avoiding me."

Amanda nodded, "She may just need a bit of time to wrap her head around what feelings may mean to herself and to you. She seems to be a diligent worker. I can not imagine that she will let it get too far in the way of her work. Just allow her the time, Spock."

"Mother, if that was all that she needed, she could have told me. There was no need to lie."

"While that seems logical to you, Spock, maybe it was her easiest way of dealing with it for the moment. Try not to judge her for it, as I am sure that she will try not to judge you for being so... restrictive with your feelings." Amanda stood up and kissed Spock on the cheek, to which he blinked several times and she touched his head, "Give her time. Things will work out. I can tell."

As Uhura walked alone, across the campus, her mind traveled in several different directions. She did not even bother going to Spock's office that morning. He left her a message suggesting she take the rest of the week off from assisting him until she could finish her her "various ventures", as he called it. Something flicked in his eyes when he had said it. She was trying to focus on what it was- something akin to doubt, even perhaps contempt. This bothered her and she elected that no matter how she felt the next day, she would suck it up and carry out her business, as usual. She heard someone call her name and she turned to see Amanda Grayson. Uhura smiled and tried not to appear annoyed. "Hello, Lady Amanda."

"Just Amanda is fine. I am glad that I spotted you. I have to apologize to you for that night. I was not trying to upset you..."

"Spock explained it to me. It's really not an issue." Amanda stood still for a while, simply watching Uhura rock nervously.

Uhura seemed to be attempting to catch her breath. Amanda said, "You look ill, dear. Your natural radiance is no longer with you."

"I can't sleep at night." Uhura blurted. At Amanda's shocked expression, Uhura lifted her own eyebrows at her statement and laughed a bit, "I'm sorry – I'm not sure why I told you that. Usually, I am a far more balanced person than this. Your son's assistant friend is not psychotic, I assure you." That statement made her feel even more insecure with herself. "I, I have to go."

She turned to try to hurry away, but Amanda called out, "I know that you care for him."

Uhura paused and turned to stare at the woman, "Excuse me?"

"I saw it in your eyes when the two of you were together. I can see it, even today, that you care about my son. I think it is a good thing. Most people do not allow themselves the chance to know him well enough to..."

Nyota chuckled, suddenly filled with terror, for reasons that she could not explain, as she responded, "Well, Amanda, whatever it is that you saw hardly matters, as neither Spock nor myself have any plans to stray away from our paths to pursue anything outside of the goals which we have already set. I know that you want to see your son happy. I have no children, and therefore can not fully empathize, but I can tell you that I am not the woman who will do so. Commander Spock and I both realize that there are more important things than how someone feels. One day, I may be willing to reconsider that mind frame, but you know Spock better than I do. He would never..." Uhura felt tears forming in her eyes at her own words. She turned to leave again, but instead collapsed. Her knees buckled underneath her body and her head began to spin.

She could vaguely hear Amanda calling for help as the woman reached down to try to help her up off of the ground. What was this? It felt somewhat like a panic attack. She had not had one in years, not since she was twelve, and she thought that she never would again. As she tried to catch her breath, Amanda waved others over to help her. Uhura was looking at Amanda's worried face, and the woman sounded muffled to the heartbeat which sounded in Uhura's ears. After a few moments, she could not hear anything and everything went black.

Lt Uhura awoke in sick bay, with Amanda Grayson next to her bed. The cadet sat up quickly, but the older woman pressed her back down to the bed,

"The Dr. said that you need to rest. There was an issue with your sugar levels." Uhura looked panicky, "Does Spock know?"

"Did you wish for him to?"

Nyota shook her head, "Are you kidding, Lady? I'm embarrassed enough that this even happened..." But before she could finish the statement, he was entering the area and approaching.

Amanda sighed with her confession, "I'm afraid I may have made quite a scene. I did not know what the problem was and I became afraid for your health. Certainly someone who realized who I was must have alerted him." Uhura nodded.

Spock took a deep breath, allowing himself to relax and leveled himself out. If he though it was difficult to hide his emotions from Nyota, he could not fathom trying a combination of the two of them, together. It was what the humans would refer to as an "unfair fight." Now, both of the two people he most struggled to hide his emotions from sat together, awaiting him, at a very emotional time, for all of them. He calmy came next to the bed and asked, politely in a detached voice, "How are you, Lt. Uhura?"

Nyota pressed her lips together as though she would make an "M" sound and sheepishly chuckled. There were several answers that she could have given him, considering how silly and immature she felt, but she simply answered, "I put myself under too much stress. I guess I have to get some rest. By tomorrow, I should be fully functional and back at work." She looked at Amanda, "I am sorry that I frightened you."

Spock stared at Nyota, unable to tell from looking at her the extent of her condition, and unsure if she would even be willing to discuss it, considering the way she had been reacting to him, recently. But, he glanced at his mother and asked, "Could you excuse us for a moment, Mother?" Even if Nyota never cared what people thought of her or how they perceived her situations, he certainly would prefer not to speak with her at such a volatile time with his mother there.

Amanda bowed her head and said, "I am going to go meet your father." She squeezed Nyota's hand and sincerely said, "Get well, Miss Uhura. We haven't had the chance to properly speak about things, yet."

Uhura smiled and watched Amanda leave. Her focus switched to Spock, "What brings you here, Commander?"

Was this a rhetorical question? Surely, she must have known that he would be concerned about her well-being, as he frequently had proven, whether he intended to, or not. Perhaps this was her way of dismissing the emotional exchange that they had, or perhaps she seriously did not believe that he could care for her (or would ever act upon it. He thought for a moment, then responded, "I was informed that my "favorite student" fell on my mother near the courtyard. When I got there, there was a crowd, but both of you were gone. I headed this way, but the crowd seemed interested in loitering to gossip, in the middle of the walkway than using it to reach a destination. At this point, I am still not sure of what your condition is and I am quite concerned." That was putting it mildly. Spock had been alarmed for her and for his mother. He did not know if one or both of them were injured or ill, and his face was holding his secret fear in a lot better than his heart was.

She laughed, and covered her face, "I must have looked like such an idiot to Lady Amanda. She is going to think that you have put your trust as a mentor into a complete buffoon "

"I am sure that she is more likely to be concerned about your wellbeing than to judge you. She is not very judgmental. How are you?"

Uhura sat up and glanced around, "My blood sugar levels went the wrong way. It felt like a panic attack, at first, but then, I lost consciousness. I really feel like a buffoon." Uhura stared at Spock, hoping that he would correct her assessment of herself.

He succeeded, "If you were in some way directly responsible for your attack, then a sense of responsibility would fit. If you are not, there is no way for you to control physiological defects."

She gazed at him, "You always have the perfect response, Commander. I wonder if they'll let me go back to my room. These beds are so uncomfortable."

He could not help but feel partially responsible. After all, she had not began to feel badly until after their conversation, which he should have dismissed, as soon as it arose. Once again, failure in his logic resulted in her pain. Surak taught that lessers beings should be cared for, in the event that they were incapable of caring for themselves. It was a burden to carry all of humanity on his back, but he would gladly carry Nyota… was that a euphamism? Spock glanced around the room, "I could speak with the doctor. I could offer to escort you back and contact him when you are safely in bed."

Uhura smiled weakly, "I would highly appreciate that."

Spock nodded once and went off, for only a moment to speak with the doctor. Uhura looked at her knees. There was a bandage on the left one and she lifted it, slightly to see the damage. There was a hideous busted open knot. She winced and covered it back. "That scar should be lovely." Spock returned and began to gather her things.

"You have received an approval. He asks that you are careful on that leg. Apparently, it is what caught your fall."

Nyota lifted herself onto Spock's shoulder, "Would it be okay if I leaned on you?" Almost automatically, Spock's logic questioned, "Should you have asked before doing so?" She laughed at his question -–mostly because it was an honest question.

"I should have. I guess I took for granted that the answer would be yes. But I know what you're thinking now –- then why ask? Why, indeed, Commander Spock? I am not feeling well, you think you could handle me gently?"

He nearly smiled at her, but quickly caught himself while it was yet a smirk. He lifted her up more unto his shoulder and carried her things. It reminded her of when he placed his hands on her waist to help her unto and off of the sand dune on Efros Delta, which stirred up her butterflies. Then, of the time he tackled her to the couch with passion in his eyes, which stirred up… other things.

As she depended on him for strength, which he effortlessly offered, and concentrated on not hurting her already wounded knee, Nyota found herself repeatedly glancing at the man who was practically carrying her across the width of the campus to her dorm.

"Commander?"

He did not glance in her direction, but responded, "Yes?" She suddenly lost her nerve to continue speaking.

In her pause, Spock asked, "Do you need to rest?"

She took a deep swallow and finally stated, "No. I need to apologize. I missed work because I..."

"Do not apologize." She silenced herself and now stared up at his profile. Spock glanced at her. "There is no need," he added. She smiled and he seemed to stare at her for a moment, as though needing to say something, but he wordlessly faced forward and reasoned within himself, while turning away from her smile, that moving forward, he should be looking forward.

When they reached her room, Spock set Uhura onto her bed in a sitting position.

She settled herself onto the bed while Spock arranged her things on her desk. She removed her boots and struggled to get herself sprawled out on the bed, battling around her knee, as she did. Spock merely watched her make herself comfortable.

"Do you think that you will need me to retrieve anything for you before I leave?" he asked. Uhura laid down and covered the bottom of her legs with her blanket,

"No, Commander. You have done more than even necessary. I feel like I am always thanking you for something. It would be nice to be able to be thanked for something." Confusion briefly crossed Spock's face and his eyebrow rose.

"Do I fail to thank you for services provided?"

She snickered, "No, I fail to provide many services."

Spock approached the bed and said softly, "Nyota, you help me with more than anyone else at the Academy." She widened her eyes in wonder and stared up at him. "With the exception of my parents, you are the most helpful person that I have ever known." She smiled a weak smile and reached her hand out to him. Spock kept his hands together, behind his back as he stared at her hand, "Lt. Uhura, is there something that you desire for me to give to you?"

She laughed, and nodded her head, slowly "May I hold your hand for a moment?"

They had not held hands in some time, and when they had, it had never been in this type of situation; however, he acquiesced. He placed one of his hands into hers and she held it tenderly until she fell asleep." Spock placed her hand next to her head, on the pillow and made an exit.

Before he reached the door, he heard his name and turned abruptly to face her. However, upon realizing that she was still asleep, he merely smirked to himself and left the room. After Spock left, Uhura murmured in her sleep,

"I love you." But no one was there to hear, and she did not awaken.