Thanks to Reamhar & KCerena – who had to suffer through this chapter! Thx.

Many thanks also to all who read, review & recommend by story. I appreciate it – totes!

Chapter 25 - About Boys

Fooling around for the rest of the evening on the sofa had made my skin sticky and left my lips swollen and raw. In an effort to keep up the appearance that we actually went to the movie together, Edward and I met up with Alice and Jas in front of our house around eleven o'clock and Edward drove home with Alice. Despite reeking of sweat and sex, I stumbled straight into bed where I fell into deep, peaceful slumber.

When I woke up the next morning, I could still smell Edward on my skin. I liked the boy, but it was definitely time to shower. I almost skipped to the bathroom, feeling happier than I had in a long time. I could handle this relationship thing. I'd make it work somehow. No more chickening out because I was afraid of feeling like a fool.

Standing in a half-conscious state in the shower I discovered that my time of the month had arrived overnight.

"Fuck," I muttered, stepping out of the shower and grabbing toilet paper.

I dreaded my period more than anything. Shit. As if remembering to brush my teeth, wash my hair, and put on clean clothes wasn't enough, now I had to remember to drag tampons along everywhere, too. Even worse, this would put a damper on my make-out sessions with Edward for the next week.

Thinking of Edward made my knees go limp and caused a tingle in my girl parts – as always. I panicked; I was dripping blood over the bathroom tiles and all I could think about was sex. I searched for tampons underneath the sink and remembered the pills. I inserted a tampon and got dressed quickly to stumble back to my room to go grab the pills, hoping Jas would still be asleep.

After retrieving one of packages from my room, I sat on the toilet and opened up one of the boxes containing the familiar-looking round plastic container and a folded up piece of paper with the directions and warnings. I scanned the directions quickly, before looking at the side effects.

Apparently taking any kind of medication has the potential to cause nausea and headaches and this one in particular could cause abnormal bleeding. I popped the first pill into my mouth and tried not to think about what "abnormal bleeding" meant; I sincerely hoped this wouldn't mean that I'd spend any more days having to remember tampons than I already did. Blood clots, Stroke, and tenderness of the breasts . . . the list of possible side effects seemed endless.

Something struck me as unfair about this – me taking these pills in order not to get pregnant while Edward wouldn't have to do anything. But then again when was life fair? No matter how you turned the coin, sometimes it was advantageous to be boy.

I knew Renee and Rose hadn't sympathized with me when I'd declared a couple of years back that I wished I were a boy. To be precise, I was twelve years old at the time, puberty hadn't quite hit me yet with full force, and I'd only recently returned from a four-week stay at a summer camp which had highlighted the disadvantages of being a girl all too clearly. It was an easy equation for me. In camp, the boys were allowed to stay up an hour longer (God knows why?), on extended hiking trips they could pee standing in the bushes, they never had to cover their chests with icky, superfluous (on my chest at least) bikini tops and nobody ever told them to keep their legs crossed. The only thing I wasn't jealous of – not even back in the day – were penises. In my mind they were ugly pieces of flesh accompanied by lose skin.

Gross, I remember declaring after my speech about how I'd rather be a boy just without that part of the male anatomy. Rose and Renee had just laughed and told me I was crazy.

"You can't be one without the other, silly." Renee had rolled her eyes at me, stating the obvious.

"Yeah, really, Bells, that sounds stupid. Besides, why would you want to give up short skirts, makeup, boobs and the ability to flirt your way out of any uncomfortable situation just to be able to pee standing up or to stay up an hour later at a retarded camp? Never mind that we're the stronger sex and don't let anybody tell you otherwise," Rose has snapped and Renee had nodded in complete agreement.

"But I have no boobs, I can live without short skirts, I don't wear makeup and the only thing I've ever managed to talk my way out of was participating in gym," I had whined.

Over the past five years, I had changed my mind slowly but surely. Incidentally, Renee's and Rose's reasons did not convince me that I was better off as girl. I had since since sindiscovered different reasons for why I liked being a girl.

I came across reason number one when I read an article in The Los Angeles Times one afternoon in January of 1967. The article described the latest developments in the Vietnam War. But that's not what interested me. My eyes got stuck on a number at the end of the article: the estimated amount of US soldiers killed in Vietnam in the 1966. Around six thousand, all of them boys and men. If nothing else, being a girl meant that I would not be drafted and shipped off to Vietnam. I would never become a number in that body count. I know this makes sound like wimp, but I was relieved.

The other reason might have something to do with the fact that I did hit puberty shortly afterward and discovered that I liked boys - and I don't mean in a 'just as friends to chat with' kind of way. I was fourteen and Renee sent us to a summer camp organized by one of her yoga gurus. It was the first summer camp that I openly opposed going to. The camp was located in the Arizona desert and was supposed to allow you to experience the transformative power of the Dharma. I was certain the only things I would experience during our three-week stay were a bad sunburn and torn muscles. That was until I arrived at the bus stop the morning of our departure and met our camp counselor Tom.

He was tall and dark haired, with nice brown eyes and a perfectly proportioned tanned body. Unfortunately I wasn't the only one who had salivated over him. Every single gal in that camp lusted after him. I think Rose snagged him away, although she never officially confirmed it. Being attracted to the same sex would make life extra complicated I decided that year, so being a girl would work out just fine for me.

I closed the plastic pillbox, and walked back to our room. I dropped it into the old cigar box from underneath my bed. As I was tossing the cigar box back under the bed, Jas stretched and yawned.

"Mornin', Bells."

"Morning. I think I'm gonna make breakfast. What do you want – pancakes or eggs?"

"Both please. I'm starving."

Jas walked down the stairs into the kitchen when I was almost done making breakfast and Rose and Charlie followed shortly afterward.

"Morning," Charlie murmured, grabbing the coffee cup I handed him greedily.

"So what were you kids up to last night?"

"I went to the movies with Emmett," Rose answered with an innocent smile. Jas raised his eyebrows and almost spit his coffee out laughing.

"I hung out with Edward," I admitted with a sheepish grin. Charlie didn't ask for further information from me and instead looked at Jas expectantly.

"Rose, which movie theater did you go to?" Jas asked.

"What's it to you? We went to the drive-in you guys went to before."

"Oh, really? Interesting."

"Why would that be interesting?" Rose snapped.

"Never mind, Rose."

Charlie had a smile playing around his mouth as he glanced from Jas to me to Rose. He ate his eggs quietly, occasionally looking up at us and chuckling. Edward was right – he was onto us.

"Okay, kids. I'm going down to the Black's to go fishing. You're more than welcome to come along, if you like," he mentioned standing up and bringing his plate to the sink.

"When are you leaving?" Jas asked.

"In about half an hour or so," Charlie answered, pouring himself another cup of coffee.

"I think I'll come along," Jas announced, starting to wash the dishes. Charlie nodded and walked out the door to the garage with his coffee cup in hand. I stood up and started drying the plates Jas handed me.

"I take it you didn't run into Rose last night, huh?" I asked after Rose had left the kitchen.

"Yeah, definitely didn't. We ran into James Mallory though . . . Relax, Bells," Jas said in response to the expression of alarm on my face. "Honestly, I think the dude is a harmless creep. He didn't say jack-shit to us."

"Really? I don't know, he said plenty the last time we ran into him. What movie did you pay to not see?"

"Shut up! Alice made me the watch the 'The Thomas Crown Affair.' Apparently she is a huge Steve McQueen fan. Whatever, so boring." He shook his head and handed me the last dish before disappearing after Charlie, leaving Rose and me to sit in front of the TV.

"So what did you do last night?" I asked Rose.

"Emmett's parents were out for the night and we stayed in his room. Let me guess, Jas went to the movies?"

"Yeah, he did. He even watched the flick."

"Really? Strange. So what did you do while 'hanging' out with Edward?" I blushed and swallowed a lump that had suddenly appeared in my throat.

"Nuthin' much."

"Right." Rose suddenly turned to stare at me. Scrunching her eyebrows together, she eyed me suspiciously. "So what exactly does doing 'nuthin much' involve?"

"Oh, come on, Rose. Don't do this to me. I was hanging out with my boyfriend on a sofa. What do you think we were doing?" I huffed.

"Relax, Bella. I'm just curious. Are you enjoying yourself? I hope for your sake he's not entirely clueless, right? He knows what a clitoris is?"

I rolled my eyes at Rose.

"He knows how to push my buttons. Does that satisfy you? He's actually quite good," I praised with a smug grin.

"Okay, I see. I guess I have to give him some credit. So have you gotten over you aversion to penises and are returning the favor, if you know what I mean?" she asked with a wink.

Man-oh-man, I thought, Rose must miss talking about sex with Renee. But when had I become the stand-in for our mother?

"I guess so. And yeah," I snapped.

"How?" she prodded, looking straight ahead at the TV.

"Why do you want to know, Rose?" An exasperated sigh accompanied my plea.

"Listen, I might be able to teach you some tricks. So tell me, how? Hand jobs or blowjobs . . . your virginal status hasn't changed over the last two days, has it?"

I wrinkled my nose. "Both. And No."

"Really? You've performed fellatio on Smarty Pants? Do you swallow?"

"What?" I shrieked, a little louder than I had intended.

"You know, when you give head – do you swallow? Guys are really into that if you do. Well . . . most of the ones I've met at any rate," she teased with a laugh and gulped loudly.

"Thanks, Rose. I really needed to know that." I rolled my eyes again in disbelief at how the conversation had gone straight into the gutter, but my curiosity was starting to get the better of me. Maybe there were things to be learned from listening to Rose.

"Don't be such a prude, Bella. If you can't talk about it, maybe you shouldn't be doing it."

"Fine. So what do you think is essential to know?" I relented as I uncomfortably shifted around on the sofa, feeling embarrassed.

"Most of it you'll probably figure out with practice, but what department do you think you need help in?"

"Okay, how about blowjobs. Any tips?" I asked, not able to come up with anything better.

"Mmmh, well. First basic rule – stay in control. Allow him to set a pace if he wants to with his hands on your head, but make sure he doesn't just shove his whole dick down your throat. Make sure you're comfortable wherever you are, so you don't crank your neck out if you have to stay in that position for a while. If he's standing and you're kneeling in front of him, be extra careful that you don't lose control of the situation. Obviously the more of his member you can get into your mouth the better. If that doesn't work because of your gag reflex, work with your hand and your mouth together."

I was gaping at Rose with wide eyes as she continued with her essential 'how-to' instructions.

"Before you do anything, I'd recommend teasing him for while. Touch, kiss and lick him in the surrounding areas. Actually start with licking, before sucking him. If you don't want to swallow his jizz, tell him to give you a warning and not just a one second 'oh, I'm gonna come' warning, which won't give you enough time. Swirling your tongue around the tip and up and down the underside of his dick should also be part of the plan, if you are trying to make it good for him. Don't slack off before he comes – keep your movements consistent and firm – even if you're not planning to swallow." Rose finished her seemingly never-ending instructions with a wicked grin on her face.

I stared at her trying to process the information. It seemed like an awful lot of things to remember. Apparently I'd missed a couple – scratch that – a lot of steps during my latest adventures. I kept on replaying the word 'control' in my head.

"Rose, what do you mean by 'control'?" I questioned, feeling like a complete tool.

"You know, take charge and stay in charge. You'll figure it out. Are you gonna call him now and invite him over for a practice session?" she asked, turning around to look at me.

"Yeah, I don't think so, Rose. I got my period today and you're here . . ."

"Jeez, Bella. You can close your bedroom door, right? And here's another tip – you don't have to skip making out because you have your period. Just go with whatever you feel comfortable doing."

"I dunno."

I stared at the TV blankly, mentally trying to visualize how to execute Rose's tips.

"Call him! I can leave, too, if you want," Rose offered with a smile. Not only was I red like a tomato after Rose's suggestion (no need to check the mirror for that, I could feel my cheeks blazing), but I felt perspiration forming on my forehead. "Come on! Call!"

"Stop it. I'll call when I want to."

Sitting on the sofa with Rose giving me strange glances every five seconds wasn't all that comfortable so I gave in and got up to give him a call. Nobody picked up and I was disappointed that I wouldn't get to see him, but also a tad relieved. Jas tried calling Alice later with the same result. The phone kept on ringing and nobody picked up.

The rest of the day passed by quickly and we spent the night with Charlie in front of the TV. Later, lying in bed, I made a mental blowjob checklist: Tease, lick, pay attention to tip and the underside and try to get as much in your mouth as you can without gagging. I was undecided on the swallowing bit.

~000~

I ran out the door the next morning after I'd spotted Edward's car parked in front of our house. He was leaning against the passenger door of his car, and my mind immediately sprinted back to Rose's instructions. My mouth went dry and I was certain I'd turned red again, as I stumbled over a darn stone on the ground and almost fell flat on my face in front of him.

"Are you okay?" Edward asked, stepping forward, and breaking my fall by wrapping his arm around me.

"Yeah, I'm fine. Hey, did you go out yesterday?"

"No, why?" he asked, closing the car door and walking with quick steps around the car. He looked at me expectantly when sat next to me.

"I tried calling you and Jas tried as well later on in the evening, but nobody picked up." Edward looked surprised.

"Strange. I stayed in the kitchen all afternoon doing homework. I should have definitely heard the phone. When exactly did you call?" he asked as he pulled out.

"I dunno, around one o'clock? It doesn't matter I guess."

"No, it does. I would have liked to talk to you or to see you. I didn't call 'cause I thought you might be busy with homework and stuff. Are you sure you dialed the right number?" he asked laughing.

"Umm, yeah, I'm sure. I looked it up and called twice. And Jas said it was the right number." Edward furrowed his eyebrows, but dropped the subject.

Morning classes went by in a blur, lunch felt finally normal again and before I knew it, gym was over and I was ready to head back home. Edward waited for me after gym and drove me home. When we reached my house, he kissed me and looked at me expectantly.

"Do you wanna come in? We can do homework together?" I asked hesitantly.

"Yeah, sounds good," he replied with a crooked grin and got out of the car quickly. Maybe I should've warned him that a make out activity was not in the cards today, I wondered, but then again, Edward had seemed perfectly content to sit around and do homework. And even if he weren't content with that, I could technically put Rose's instructions to use.

We settled around the kitchen table next to each other and started doing our homework. I tried to concentrate on my math homework, I swear I tried, but I couldn't concentrate and every couple of minutes I glanced at the kitchen clock and then stole a sideway glances at Edward who of course kept his focus on his book. The mental checklist I had prepared last night before drifting off into sleep kept on replaying itself in my head and made me shift uncomfortably on my chair.

Instead of figuring out the next equation, I started wondering where my siblings where. Then the constant noise started bothering me. The buzz coming from the fridge behind me, the ticktack sound coming from the antiquated kitchen clock, and the sound of the drizzle hitting the planks of the porch seemed all unnaturally loud.

I stared back over to Edward, his long fingers flipping over a pencil in his hand rapidly and his eyes focused on the book. I was pretty certain his mind wasn't as depraved as mine; hence he could focus on the homework. He probably didn't even have to study. Life was just not fair.

One last glance, I figured, and then all my attention would be on my boring math homework. I let my hair fall over my shoulder and took another peek at Mr. Perfect next to me. My eyes wandered hungrily over his face, down his shoulder to his arm and landed on the page of the book he was reading. I blinked a couple of times in disbelief.

Seeking confirmation I looked at the kitchen clock and then back to the page of his book. Unless my eyes were playing a trick on me, Edward had been staring at the same page of the book for the last thirty minutes. I couldn't help but smile once I'd found out that someone next to me wasn't concentrating as hard as I'd thought he was.

I pulled my hair behind my ear and tried to focus on math again. When I heard a sigh coming from him, I turned to look at him.

"Something wrong? Do you want something to drink?" I asked with a smirk. He coughed and I noticed his ears turning pink.

"Can I get some water, please?"

"Sure." I moved my chair back and stepped to the kitchen counter to grab a glass from the upper cabinet. I got up on my toes to reach for the shelf with the glasses when I heard Edward get up and move behind me, taking the glass from my hands and setting it down on the counter. He didn't move and I felt his breath hit my hair. I turned around slowly and raised my eyebrows at him.

"Difficult page, huh?" I teased.

Edward swallowed thickly before moving his hands to the counter on either side of me and leaning forward.

"Very," he whispered with his lips dangerously close to my mine. I exhaled and a whimpering sound escaped me. We kissed, first hesitantly and then more greedily. My hands found themselves in his hair and I pulled and tugged him closer. Without thinking I pushed myself up on the kitchen counter and he moved between my legs swiftly, pulling my butt to him. Any thoughts of moderation flew out the door as I crossed my legs behind his back.

"I can't concentrate on anything, Bella. Don't know what's wrong with me, but I've given up resisting. I feel a bit depraved. All I do is think about you . . . your skin . . . the way you taste . . ." he said in a husky voice. "When do you think Rose and Jas are going to be home?"

"I dunno . . ." I craned my neck to look out the kitchen window behind me and notice that the truck was still missing. "We can go up to my room, and I can lock the door?"

The words had barely left my lips when I felt him picking me up from the counter and starting to carry me toward the stairs. Edward walked so swiftly up the stairs while continuing to kiss me. I guess he was kind of distracted because he lost his balance, bumping us into the banister and the wall a couple of times.

When we reached my room, I untangled my legs from his hips and he dropped me on the floor. I closed and locked the door behind us promptly, pushing the laundry basket in front of it for good measure. Although there was no doubt in my mind that the lock would probably hold, I was suddenly paranoid that someone would catch us.

I remembered Rose's instructions about 'control' as we stood next to my bed, and so I pushed Edward with my hand on his chest back onto the bed. He complied looking a little astonished.

I made up my mind quickly about how I wanted to use our 'alone' time. My checklist memorized, I only needed to make sure he didn't get his hands down my pants first. I'd confess that this was really the wrong time of months for that. I straddled him as he sat on the edge of my bed and pulled his sweater and his t-shirt off in one swift movement before pushing his back flat on the bed. When his hands reached for my sweater, I pulled it off myself but left on the thin spaghetti strap shirt I was wearing underneath. I ground my hips into his before moving my lips from his mouth, along his jaw to his neck until I reached his shoulder.

In an amazingly graceful movement for a klutz like me, I lifted myself off his lap and onto the floor.

"Bella?" Edward said in a strained voice, licking his lips quickly as I kissed his stomach while kneeling on the floor between his legs.

"Relax," I murmured with a smirk on my face and glancing up at him for a second. His eyebrows were furrowed and he let out a shaky breath.

With step one in my head, I let my hands glide up his legs until I hit is hipbones while kissing and licking his stomach. I let one of my hands slide over his erection, stroking him tentatively over the thick fabric of his jeans and waiting for his reaction. I felt his stomach muscles tense under my lips and firmed my grip, squeezing him.

When I glanced up at him, he had his eyes closed and his head tilted back. I moved my hands to his belt buckle while keeping my eyes on his face. Edward's head snapped up and he looked down at me with dark eyes, as I started unbuttoning his jeans. He leaned back on his elbows and lifted his hips up to allow me to push down his jeans and his underwear. His erection fell against his stomach and I noticed it twitch a little. I had seen Edward's penis before in both states, but for some reason I'd never really looked at it before. I felt myself blush under his gaze as I stared and decided it was time to move on to the next step.

Following Rose's instructions I let my tongue glide over the underside until I reached the tip. I licked along the slit of his tip and heard him exhale loudly. I let my tongue travel down and up two more times, feeling his erection twitch each time when I reached the head. When I reached his tip for the third time he sat up abruptly and I gazed down at his erect member pointing up at me. I grabbed the base with one hand and pushed my lips briefly over the tip and pulled back, remembering the tongue swirl Rose had recommended. I knew it had had the desired effect when I heard Edward hiss in response.

I moved my hand up and down before taking him into my mouth. Unlike the last time, I tried a little harder to see how far I could go down without gagging. Not very far at all, it turned out, and like the last time Edward never moved his hands to my head. I was starting out at a slow pace and was wondering whether his hands on my head would actually be helpful when he moved one hand to my face. But Edward never pushed my head down; instead he just moved my hair away from face and then let his hand fall back to the bed, breathing heavily.

I increased my pace and understood now why Rose had suggested picking a comfortable position as I felt my knees go numb on the wooden floor.

I glanced to my side and noticed that Edward's hands were digging into the side of my bed so hard that his knuckles had turned white. I grabbed him tighter and tried to get more of him down my throat. I felt his hips shift underneath me and rock forward, almost making me gag. He continued rocking his hips in pace with my movements until his breathing hitched and then seemed to seize.

"Bella, I'm really close . . ." I heard him pant a couple of seconds later. I thought about moving my mouth, but then decided against it. Hell, I ate dirt once in a game of Truth or Dare, I thought, I can handle this if it makes him feel good.

Edward stopped moving underneath me. "Bella, fuck!" he breathed. That was the first time I had ever heard Edward swear.

Two seconds later I felt something warm and odd-tasting hit the back of my mouth and I swallowed quickly trying to avoid the taste altogether. Unfortunately there was more to come and it turned out there was no way around tasting it. I sucked him in one more time and dropped him with an unintentional popping sound before wiping my mouth with the back of my hand. Edward was lying with his back on the bed now, his chest rising and falling rapidly.

"What . . . where . . . are you alright?" Edward stammered after he'd caught his breath, leaning on his hands and looking down at me.

"I'm fine. Are you?" I asked. He didn't answer me, but instead chuckled and grabbed my hands to pull me up on top of him on the bed.

"That's a stupid question, you know that?" Edward answered, rubbing his thumb over my cheekbones and kissing me softly on the lips.

"Ugh, I'm sure I taste awful." I was about to roll off of him and run to the bathroom to brush my teeth, but he held me in place with his arms. Then he cupped my face with his hands, closed his eyes and kissed me again, opening my mouth with his tongue this time.

He kissed me slowly and I could feel one of his hands creeping down to my pants. I moved his hand quickly before he could sneak it down my underwear.

"What?" he asked, as his eyes snapped open.

"I got my period yesterday." I sighed, rolling to his side.

"Okay. Now you're making me feel even more like a perv who just took advantage of his girlfriend," he said, giving me a stern look.

"Trust me, you didn't take advantage of me. No worries." Thinking about the extra instructions and planning that went into this event he was definitely not the one who took advantage of the situation.

He pulled up his pants and put his t-shirt back on before lying back down next to me and pulling me into his arms.

We spent the rest of the afternoon on my bed lying in each other's arms and talking about music and the world outside of the bubble that was Forks. He told me he had never thought about trying to make a career out of his music before, but that he hadn't been able to get the idea out of his head after I'd suggested it. He still didn't think it was realistic though. I told him that he should be happy he had this talent and how I wished I had a talent like that. I was clueless about what I wanted to do for the rest of my life.

Jas and Rose didn't come home until it was time for dinner. When Edward left to go home he whispered 'I love you' in my ear as we kissed good night on the porch and I responded without hesitation, telling him I loved him, too. Easy Breezy, I thought.

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