[Disclaimer] All things Twilight belong to Mrs. Stephenie Meyer
[A/N] Hi everyone. So here's the chapter some of you have been waiting for. Bella finally becomes a vampire. I'm really nervous about it and hope that you won't be disappointed.
**About Unlived Lives**
My heartbeat quickened instantly as I stepped out of the helicopter that Carlisle had rented for our final transportation to Denali. He had decided to take the executive jet a few hours earlier so that he would have enough time to prepare the others for our plans; whatever preparing meant. I sighed deeply.
"Are you alright?" Alice asked me anxiously while she hugged me tightly from behind. I tried to calm myself down by taking several deep breaths through my nose. The air was icy and smelled like wood and fresh snow. When I looked up into the light blue sky the first tiny flakes started to fall. They looks so incredibly graceful, each one a unique crystal, as they made their way down to the ground. One of them landed on my lower lip and melted instantly.
"Bella, my angel, are you okay?"
"I'm fine." I croaked out and twisted the fingers of my right hand with hers. The cold that was radiating from her vampire body felt so pleasant against my sweaty palm.
"Just nervous, I guess." I confessed hesitantly and turned my head to capture her gorgeous mouth. She parted her lips slightly and my tongue slipped in to explore the deliciousness of her. I loved everything about kissing her. The way her cool, velvety lips moved with mine in perfect harmony. The way she tasted, like sweet, wild honey mixed up with morning dew. The way the tip of her snowy tongue nudged against my warm one sent shivers down my spine; fire against ice that didn't destroy each other.
"How your heart beats," Alice whispered against my lips as she finally pulled back. I gasped for air. Needing to breathe was definitely one of the things I wouldn't miss about my human life.
Then she sighed deeply and rested her head against my chest.
"It's one of my favorite sounds." She stated.
I felt my legs starting to tremble slightly and so I kneeled down on the forest soil, pulling Alice with me. Tears started burning in my eyes and I swallowed hard to keep them from falling. It didn't work.
"I'm so sorry, Alice," I stumbled out as I buried my face into the silky curls of her hair. The scent of lilac and vanilla that was pouring out of her was intoxicating.
"You don't have to apologize to me for being who you are, Bella." She told me and planted a soft kiss on the knuckles of my left hand.
"I'm scared," I stated after a few awkward moments of silence.
"About the pain?" She asked me and started rubbing my back comfortingly.
"No. Yes. Well, partly. There is one thing I'm more worried about."
"You don't have to be afraid about anything. I'll take care of you." She assured me.
"I know, Alice. But will you…," I couldn't manage to finish the sentence.
"Bella, my angel, I thought we've already talked about this. The answer is yes. I will still love you when you're not human anymore."
"I'm sorry for bringing it up again." I mumbled.
"You don't have to, Bella. Questioning yourself is part of who you are. You see, my angel…," She started while her thumb started circling over the thin layer of skin on my wrist.
"I don't love you because you're mortal or immortal. I love you because you're my angel. I loved you when my own heart was still beating and I'm still going to love when yours stops."
She took off her jacket and placed it gently over my trembling shoulders. It was really cold out here and her vampire body so close to mine didn't really help to warm me up.
"Alice, I love you."
"I love you too, Bella."
We stood up from the ground, her hand never letting go of mine. Alice guided me through the woods, carefully making sure that I didn't drip accidentally.
"Where are we going?" I asked her after a while and squeezed her hand.
"I wanted to show you something, my angel; something to look forward to after your transformation."
I wondered what she meant with it as we continued walking. It was so peaceful and silent out here. Having to…well...live…here for a certain amount of time wouldn't be too bad actually.
We reached a small clearing and I gasped in surprise when my weak human eyes finally recognized the strange building of ice-blocks right in the middle of it.
"What's that?" I asked her in surprise. "Is that an Igloo?"
She hugged me tightly and pressed her marble lips to my cheek. My face was so cold now from spending time outside that it almost had the same temperature, almost.
"Bella, that's an ice hotel. Well, it used to be one but then the Denali coven decided to buy it. They didn't want some adventurous humans to run into them while they went hunting."
"Can I see how it looks like inside?"
She nodded her head and guided me into the strange building of clear ice blocks. Inside of the house it was even colder than outside.
I shivered slightly as I looked around. Every single item was made of ice; the luster and the chairs at the bar which held several bottles with a crimson colored liquid. My eyes focused on the huge bed that was standing in the middle of a smaller room, a huge king-sized bed which frame had been completely carved out of a huge block of ice.
"Wow," I stumbled out. "It's beautiful."
My teeth started chattering and I rubbed my hands against each other in order to warm them up.
"Yeah, it is. It will be even more beautiful if you'll see it with your new eyes, my angel."
Then she pulled a little hand warmer out of her handbag and put it in my palm.
"We should leave now. It's too cold for you inside here. I just wanted to show it to you." She leaned forward and planted a soft kiss on the tip of my nose.
"Bella, I want…," She started hesitantly
"Yes, my sweetheart?"
"I want to make love to you on that bed of ice. It would be impossible while you're still human but once you're immortal…," Her gorgeous eyes darkened a few shades and she licked her lips in anticipation.
XXXX
I took another piece from the deliciously smelling cake in front of me in my mouth. The chocolate topping melted against my tongue and I sighed deeply.
"Thank you, Esme. It's really good. I couldn't have wished for anything other to eat at my last meal."
She gave me a warm smile and sat down on the chair next to me. Then she took my hand in hers and squeezed it gently.
"It's not your last meal, Bella." She told me while she poured me a cup of fresh brewed coffee.
"And you don't have to thank me for the cake. Melanie made it."
I raised one eyebrow and realized that I hadn't seen her since we had entered the house. Alice was out hunting with Kate and Tanya. She had convinced me that it was necessary beforehand.
"Where is she?" I asked her and added some milk and sugar to my coffee. "She's out hunting with Rose. I thought it would be a good idea to have Rose out of the house while Alice bites you. It would be too hard for her to watch it."
"Yeah, I know. Rosalie hates me."
Esme shook her head and the caramel colored curls of her hair framed her heart-shaped face like a perfect curtain of silk.
"She doesn't hate you. She hates the choice you're making and she's jealous."
"Rose is jealous of me?" My voice raised two octaves while I continued stirring in my cup with trembling fingertips.
"You could live the life she always dreamed of and you're pushing it aside to become like us."
"Oh, I see. It doesn't change anything though. I can't make the choice she would make – only mine."
And I don't even know if I truly have one, I added secretly.
"I know, Bella. It's okay." Then she pointed at the empty plate in front of me.
"Do you want another piece?"
I shook my hand and wiped my mouth on my bare forearm.
"Can I ask you something?" I started hesitantly while I helped her to put away the dishes.
"Of course you can, Bella. What do you want to know?"
I cleared my throat before I spoke up again.
"Would you chose this life if you had a choice? You don't have to answer if it's too personal."
She seemed to hesitate for a moment but then her lips twisted upwards into a warm smile.
"Yeah, I would Bella, without a doubt. This life has always been my destiny." Esme searched for something in the pocket of her skirt.
Then she pulled out a small rose that had been carved out of wood.
"That's pretty."
She smiled again and moved her fingertips over the delicate flower.
"I carved it from a tree. I climbed it when I was a young girl and broke my leg by falling down. My parents brought me into the hospital and there I met Carlisle for the first time." Her eyes sparkled at the memory.
"You fell in love with him back then?" I asked her curiously and she nodded her head.
"Yes I did. He was all I ever wanted and I know that everything that happened to me was necessary to be able to be with him."
XXXX
Alice planted a soft kiss on the sensitive skin of my neck and pulled me closer to her. The spikey, curls of her short hair tickled my collarbone as she hugged me tightly.
"Are you ready, my angel?" She whispered as she guided me to the bed and made us sat down on its edge.
I nodded my head and cupped her beautiful face between my trembling hands.
"I love you." I whispered so low that a human wouldn't have been able to understand it at all.
Her cool lips met mine a split second later and I couldn't hold back a moan when the tip of her tongue brushed over my lower lip.
She pulled back much too soon and mumbled something unintelligible against my mouth. Her sweet, cool breath breathe tickled the skin of my face pleasantly.
"I love you, my angel."
Then she unclasped the bracelet on my wrist and shoved it into the pockets of her jeans.
"You'll get it back." She promised me and planted a soft kiss on my forehead.
My heart skipped a beat as she put my wrist towards her icy rose-petal lips.
"Don't be afraid, my angel. I'll love you forever." She assured me and her light amber eyes seemed to be glowing in the weak light that surrounded us here.
"I love you too." I croaked out hoarsely, thinking that I had never given much thought about with whom I would fall in love with. Of course I had reason enough in the last few months; but even if I had I wouldn't have imagined it to be with the pixie-like person in front of me.
Her lips twisted into a breathtaking smile and I instantly closed my eyes. I wanted her face to be the very last memory of my human life.
Alice planted a gentle kiss on my wrist. Slowly, almost hesitantly she pulled back for a moment. I heard her inhale sharply through her nose.
You and I…
Razorblade sharp teeth cut through the thin layer of skin and I bit my tongue to keep myself from crying out loud.
We are destined to be…
I felt her starting to suck out the blood greedily. If Alice had ever had doubts about changing me herself they were gone the split second she tasted the very first drop of the crimson colored liquid in my veins.
She pulled back after a few seconds and flicked the tip of her tongue over the fresh wound. The venom started to burn and I felt my body starting to tremble slightly.
Soul mates forever…
She bit down again, this time right into the pulsating vein in my jugular. I couldn't help but whimper slightly.
I felt her froze next to me and forced myself to remain silent. It wouldn't make anything better if she knew how painful the beginning burn was for me. I took a deep breathe through my nose and forced myself to remain completely still.
Throughout eternity…
Another bite on my left ankle forced me to press my lips against each other. How many more would follow? Wasn't one of them enough to transform me?
Finally she stopped it and leaned over to whisper in my ear.
"It's over, my angel." She murmured and her voice nearly cracked at the end.
Over, I thought. Was she kidding me? The short, sharp pain might be gone but now it was replaced by the excruciating burning in my veins.
Then I remembered that Alice had completely forgotten everything about her own transformation from human to vampire. She didn't know anything about the painful fire that seemed to be streaming through my entire body now.
There were several voices in the background but I couldn't understand what they were saying.
The bed squeaked underneath me as Alice sat down next to me and put a wisp of my hair behind my ear.
"I'm so sorry, Bella." She told me and took my hand in hers to rub it gently.
"I wished I could take the pain away from you, my angel." She told me while she wiped away a few tears that had managed to escape my eyes.
I wanted so desperately to tell her that everything was okay, but I knew that if I opened my mouth now I wouldn't be able to hold back the screaming.
So instead I squeezed her hand for a moment and forced myself to remain motionless.
The pain started to increase and that shocked me. How worse would it get until it was finally over? I hoped that I would faint because I didn't think I could endure anymore. The cruel pain was now everywhere. It felt as if someone had set me on fire and was trying to burn me alive. Was I still alive?
I tried to concentrate on my own heartbeats, counting them as I seemed to have completely forgotten about time at all. How long would I have to burn? The others had told me that it took could take several days until the transformation process was completed. There was no way I could endure this torture for days.
Alice continued stroking my hand, never leaving my side while my human body was turning into a pile of black coal. At least it felt like that.
Her crystal voice was the only sound in the room apart from my own breathing and the few whimpers that escaped my throat now and then.
Sometimes she wiped my sweaty forehead with her icy fingertips and the coolness of her hand felt so pleasant against my tortured body.
"Can you hear me, my angel?" She whispered anxiously and I heard several muted voices in the background. Someone laughed and I wondered if it could probably be Emmett.
"How long will it take?" I heard an unfamiliar bell-like voice asking.
"At least another day," Carlisle stated and I felt him putting several small metal pieces on my chest. What the hell was he doing?
A low moan left my mouth and I cursed myself silently as I felt Alice hand starting to tremble slightly. I didn't want her to know how much it was hurting. My pain would be hers too and I didn't want her in pain…ever.
At least another day, I couldn't endure it for another minute. How should I manage to make it through an entire day or more? I whimpered again and new tears fell down my face over my cheeks and my lips. They felt cold against my skin. Alice sighed deeply and wiped them away.
"We'll be waiting downstairs." Esme mumbled and I felt her plant a quick kiss on my forehead.
"Let us know if the two of you need anything." She assured Alice. I felt my fiancée standing up from the bed as she wrapped her dainty arms around her mother's neck and sobbed dryly.
"She'll be alright, honey. This is what she wanted…what you both wanted."
I heard her mumble something to Esme that was too low for me to hear it. Alice cleared her voice and I heard her fumbling around in her handbag.
My beloved Angel, she started to read out and her voice was trembling.
Father is still furious at me for what happened at Christmas. He almost broke my collarbone as he didn't stop shaking me after he and mother showed up. Right now she's at the hospital with Cynthia who got smoke poisoning. I'm worried about her of course, but father yelled at me when I asked him if I could visit her with him.
I can't even blame him for being angry at me. He believes I'm the one who burned down the house and so he's punishing me. Yesterday Dr. O'Hara came to our hotel to examine me. He gave me some new pills that were supposed to make me sleep. They didn't work at all. Maybe my body has become immune to the drugs? It doesn't even matter, my angel. There is no pill that will change who I am or who I am going to be.
I'm afraid of the things that are going to happen to me, but when I look out into the dark lilac sky I know that everything will be fine at the end. At least that's what I'm trying to convince myself of. The strange daydreams are becoming even weirder. Sometimes I dream that my heart stops beating while I'm still alive. Isn't that strange? No wonder everyone believes that I've lost my mind.
You and I we'll be together eventually, my beloved angel. And all the pain I'm going throw, all the fears and every tear I'm going to shed will be worth it. You are worth it, my angel.
I'll love you forever,
Mary Alice
My heart started flattering like the wings of a bird. Was that normal? Shouldn't it rather slow down now? I tried to focus on each single beat, knowing their number was irrevocably limited now.
XOXOXOXOX
[A/N] Thank you for reading. Please leave a review if you'd like to read more soon.