Disclaimer: I do not own Haruka and Michiru's characters, they belong to Naoko Takeuchi. All other characters and this story belong to me. This story is fictional. Any references to real life companies, places and events are weaved into a web of fiction and do not have any connection with reality.
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AN: Let's have some fun… review! Thanks to those who do!
petiyaka: You're welcome. I'll try and do as many as I can before Wednesday. Hey, it wasn't Jce who came up with the whole sex tape hive… it was Paris Hilton. She made it 'hot'… so unless Paris became a lot cooler and moved to Toronto, I don't think she's Jce :) But yes, Jce did mention it before, although she attributed it to Haruka… I feel like Amanda is more of the kind in this fic to go for something like that. Yes, Haruka is yet to meet the parents. You guessed right, but you have the upper hand - I sent you the recipe for the drink!
Tenoh and Kaioh: That's a first. No one has ever started a review by saying "Fuck Feisu." ^_^ I don't know if Fabio is into bestiality or if Jce's unicorn is up for the match… I feel like it's just wrong all around :p I am crazy! I think we're both high… occasionally… on something. It's good music in my case, I have no idea what you were thinking :) So, when's your birthday? Happy Birthday! Was it Sunday? Today? Here's another present for you :)
SeraEris: :) I like realism, even though sometimes my idea of realism is skewed by the absence of logic… it happens. Come on, I had to have something up my sleeve… you guys are getting to know me too well, so it's harder and harder to do that… but I've been building it for a while. There had to be at least one surprise in this story. PS: You know, I wouldn't mind going to Athens either… see your world wonder :)
Mm-Burnt-Toast-mM: Well, everyone has to find out Haruka's a woman first. Curveballs hooray… now I think I did go a bit crazy with this chapter, though :)
Fusionmix: Hey, just because I update quickly, doesn't mean that I don't want to know what you guys think of the previous chapters. Don't you know by now that I love reading reviews? Yeah, poor Max :( Thank you for the compliment (*bows) I appreciate it. I don't like tangents, so even if I throw them, they are short enough for my impatience :)
imjce: Yeah, send Alan and Michiru to the Divorce Court, cuz that would put an end to all speculations… now why didn't I think about that? Oh yeah, those are mediators, they have no real power! Although Judge Judy yelling at Michiru for not trying hard enough would have been funny. Mmmmm ice cream. There is no mysterious stalker/photographer. I mean when you're famous, random people just snap pictures of you and then sell them to the highest bidder. At least they do that in my universe. Hey, I only put one sex tape in my fic and it did not involve Haruka, dildos, precincts, dead fathers, or anything of the sort… can't I come up with something independently just because you used something? Of course, there's always the creative 'borrowing' of ideas everywhere. So who cares? You forgot "NC-17" that was another comment after the movie… You should get Ms. Cleo to refund you the money for the lessons she gave you… they aren't working. But by all means… keep on trying. LONG LIVE THE SEX TAPES!
ilovemichiru25: You just noticed that you have a crush on a fanfictional character? Did it ever occur to you that we're all here because we have a crush on a fictional character(s)? See, you're normal. Hey, I'm glad you caught up before I was done writing too… it occurred to me last night that at some point the reviews turned into letters to Feisu, where we all go crazy… but hey, I love reading them, so don't ever stop. As to the actual fic, see the explanation above for stalkers/photographers and all that other stuff. Sorry, it's morning and I'm lazy :P
Fate-187: Well, technically, I did build H&M's relationship to be somewhat normal before I let it all go insane. I feel like our lives are made up of black and white stripes and once you enter the black one, bad things just keep happening. Here it's a domino effect.
Warning: Swearing because why wouldn't you under the circumstances? Otherwise harmless
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Chapter 24
Puffs of smoke exuded by the woman sitting on the curb of the street, right in front of a store in the middle of Friday morning made many pedestrians wave the air away and look at her accusingly. She noticed none of it. Lighting another cigarette from the one that was almost reduced to ashes, Max kept on reading through the article.
"Five Years of Hell: the real reason for divorce.
by Trent Clive
Ever since the marriage and divorce between Alan Carey and Michiru Kaioh have become public knowledge, two questions kept looming overhead, unanswered by either party: why did they keep the marriage secret and why did it fall apart. It wasn't until they stood on the steps of the courthouse where their divorce decree was granted that Mr. Carey explained that the secrecy surrounding their marriage was a mere privacy shield: they wanted to keep their private lives and their careers separate. Understandable enough, all of us can accept that.
What is not understood by anyone is the reason why they decided to get a divorce. There has never been so much as a mentioning of 'irreconcilable differences' or any other basis for it. In fact, it was Ms. Kaioh who simply stated that they "parted in the interests of both parties." So why was it in the best interests of the parties to part?
A couple of days before the divorce was finalized I sat down with actress Amanda Johnson for an exclusive interview. We talked about her engagement, her career and her friends.
TC: It is not a well-known fact, but you used to room with Michiru Kaioh.
AJ: Yes, we went to Juilliard together.
TC: Is that how you met?
AJ: Michiru and I were assigned the same room.
TC: How about Paradigm members?
AJ: They were a year or two ahead of us, it was inadvertent that we'd meet each other.
TC: But you didn't just live on campus together, the six of you shared an apartment later on. How did that come about?
AJ: Convenience. Max was actually the one who found it after graduation. They already formed the band at that point and living together was only natural. Michiru and I just fit nicely into the budget.
TC: Let's talk about Max DuBois. She's pretty open about her sexuality. Has that always been the case?
AJ: She doesn't hide who she is.
TC: What was her relationship with Michiru like?
AJ: They were close.
TC: How did that affect Michiru's marriage?
AJ: Max always took Michiru's side. Other than that their relationship would've affected the marriage.
TC: What kind of relationship did they have?
AJ: [Michiru] said that the best sex she's ever had was with Max.
TC: I guess the answer is pretty clear, but just for the record… is Michiru Kaioh bisexual?
AJ: Yes.
It is easy to see how the infidelity of a spouse would lead to the destruction of the marriage. Perhaps much worse so when the spouse is cheating with a bandmate. One could only imagine how the marriage would break down and turn from heaven to hell within the five years Mr. Carey and Ms. Kaioh had been married for.
Even without Ms. Johnson's heart to heart interview, the evidence makes the relationship between Max DuBois and Michiru Kaioh pretty clear. Ms. Kaioh is becoming notoriously known for keeping her relationships off the public radar, so the existence of this particular relationship away from public eye is not at all surprising. After all, they had both the opportunity and the means. Since Haruka Tenoh's public acknowledgement of the relationship with Ms. Kaioh, the new question is where that leaves Ms. DuBois."
"I am going to kill the bitch with my bare hands." Max threw the magazine to the ground, causing more people to stare at her. Not only could she not believe that Amanda would say something like that, she could not believe there were suggestive photographs of Michiru and her. Ironically, the one on the cover was taken in Montreal, outside of Michiru's hotel right after Max revealed her one-night-stand with Haruka. The mere suggestion of sexual connotation obviously portrayed by the article made her cringe, swear and rage at the same time. Of course, there were more. There was a photograph taken the same day where they walked down the street, hugging each other around the waist. It was an innocent comforting gesture by a friend, but in the light of the article it seemed more. Every innocent picture was adulterated by the underlying lie.
Throwing the magazine in a nearby trash bin along with the empty pack of cigarettes, Max slowly made her way back to the apartment. The first thing she did when she got home was pull out her suitcase. The second was to cancel her performance that night.
x x x
"You've reached Max DuBois. Leave me a message and I'll call you back." The voicemail picked up every call for the past four hours.
"Who do you keep calling?" Mark set a beer in front of Alan as he slumped into the chair.
"Max." Alan dropped the phone on the coffee table and grabbed the bottle.
"Why?"
Alan pointed to the magazine that lay on the table.
"Yeah, I saw that, but why?"
"I have a feeling she'll do something stupid."
"Come on, Max is the most cool-headed person I know."
Alan stared at his friend. "In comparison to you maybe. But she's just as quick to jump to action as any of us. Remember how she threw Amanda out of the apartment?"
"She still did it with a cool head."
"Right. This is worse though. I mean her ex just lied to an international magazine saying that she had a relationship with her best friend."
"Did she?"
Alan almost choked on his beer. "Did you?" Alan enjoyed the mixture of surprise and annoyance in his friend's face. "Now you know how she feels. It's the same crap as when they made the accusations about you and Mich. The difference is, it was made by an ex-girlfriend, so it has legit weight. That and the fact that Max has always been very defensive of her relationship with Mich. Which is exactly why I have a bad feeling."
"She's a big girl. I'm sure she'll be fine."
x x x
The two-story house on La Mirada Avenue was nothing out of the ordinary. Its beige siding, picket fence, the small patch of lawn and a wide driveway was as plain vanilla as any suburban residence anywhere in the United States. Max got out of the cab and studied the facade, noting the absence of any cars in the driveway. After another couple of minutes, she walked down the street. At the intersection she turned right and then took another right at Fountain Avenue, walking all the way to the end of the block. Right in front of her, across the street, was a high school. It was a Saturday morning and despite school being out for summer, she could hear students in the field behind the buildings. She entered through an unlocked side door and walked down the spacious hall. The school did not seem to be any different than the most, maybe just a bit bigger. There were lockers on the sides, doors to the classrooms, trophies in the glass cases. It took her a while, walking up and down the long hallways, to find what she was looking for. But she did.
In front of her hang a picture taken at some school game. The cheerleading squad assembled for the photograph she was now staring at, tightening her jaw. Right in the middle, held up by two other girls and smiling her million dollar smile was Amanda Johnson. The same Amanda Johnson who claimed to be misunderstood and bullied throughout high school.
x x x
Her hand shook slightly as she traced the lines of the article with her index finger. The adrenalin rush of earlier in the day when she for the first time met Haruka's fans, leaving the race with the blonde, faded in comparison. At least there she only got a few uncanny yells. She could ignore them or defend herself in front of them, whichever she did Haruka was firmly by her side. Here… with this new development she did not even know what to do or think anymore. She felt Haruka leave her side as she finished reading. Despite the conversation they held with Max at the dinner table just a few days ago, Michiru was afraid to look Haruka in the face. Not after what Amanda said, not after the pictures that twisted the reality with such plausibility.
Anne, who brought the magazine, and Joe sat across the room, waiting for her reaction. She could feel all four occupants of the room look at her as she slowly made her way through the page, tears starting to sting her eyes. Even if her relationship with Max was a lie, Amanda just outed her. There was no way Michiru could lie and say that she has never been in a relationship with a woman.
Her phone rang and she reached for it with her free hand, not bothering to check who it was. It was an automatic response while her brain was preoccupied with the reality of it all. "Hello."
"Hey, Mich, it's Alan. Have you talked to Max lately?"
"Not since Thursday." Michiru's eyes darted to the picture of her friend on the page. "Why?"
"Have you seen the article?"
"Yeah, I'm reading it right now."
"Yeah… and here I thought they'd lay our divorce to rest. Anyway, it came out here yesterday, I've been calling her since and her phone is shut off. She was a no show to a club where she was scheduled to play and her doorman said that she left with a suitcase… I'm worried."
"Funny how after an article comes out where her and I are accused of having a relationship which you at one time yourself suggested, you're worried about her well-being."
"… I've had my share of stupid outbursts… but she's always been my voice of reason. I can speculate how she feels though… this isn't Simon coming out with some crap, it's Amanda."
"Yeah. I'll call Max, but if her phone is shut off I'm not going to have any more luck than you did. Have you tried contacting Amanda? Max probably went to confront her."
"I was afraid you'd say that."
"Let me know if you find out something. I'll do the same."
"Alright. Bye."
"Bye." Michiru set the phone back down and looked at Joe. "I'd go back home if I were you."
Joe straightened up a bit. "You think Amanda is in danger?"
"I have no idea… but Max bottles up a lot until she blows up. I'd say you've got six years worth of stuff here." She dialed Max's number and after she was sent to voicemail Michiru shook her head sadly, starting to share Alan's bad feeling. "I'll go with you."
"Do you want me to come?" Haruka offered from the corner of the room where she was standing against the wall.
Michiru turned and gave her a soft smile, happy that there was not an ounce of anything but sincere concern in Haruka's voice. "You have a race tomorrow. Come after that."
Haruka nodded slowly. "Don't do anything stupid."
"It's not me you should be worried about. She's your friend too now."
x x x
Somewhere in the distance a phone rang continuously. She half-opened her eyes, trying to find the direction in the darkness. It appeared that the phone was on the commode, too far for her to care to get it. She untangled her arms from the death grip of the lightly moist sheets and reached out to the nightstand. Grabbing the bottle in the darkness she popped the top open and dropped a few pills in the palm of her hand. Her glass was empty, so she threw them in her mouth and swallowed, feeling the capsules scrape her throat. As the phone rang again, she put her head under the pillow and fell back asleep.
x x x
It was close to midnight local time when she hang up the phone. Her cell has been turned off since the day before, she did not want anyone to interrupt her. The landline was just as good. Having a lot of friends in the entertainment industry had its perks. She just never thought that she would have to use the connections in this way. She thought she put this all behind and that it would never come back to haunt her. Evidently that was not the case.
Gripping the cheap hotel glass filled with gin in one hand, she traced the list of twelve people with the other. Those were just the ones she confirmed beyond all doubt. It was not the first time in life Max has been screwed, except that this time she was old enough to take care of herself. She was not going to go down alone, especially not when Michiru was mixed into the scandal. She was going to take Amanda with her.
Eyeing the name that she scribbled some time ago in the corner, Max dialed the number. After a few rings a slightly annoyed voice answered the phone.
"Yes?"
"Richard, sorry to call so late, but I'm sure you won't mind. This is Max DuBois."
Indeed, the voice that came back on was surprised, but a lot more polite. "Evening, Max."
"I hear you have some beef with Trent Clive."
"Go on."
"Do you have a pen nearby?"
"Just a sec… got it."
Max gave him an address. "Be there at ten tomorrow morning."
"What will be waiting for me there?"
"A live exclusive you can catch on tape that will deface your colleague's article. Is that good enough?"
"Absolutely. I'll be there at ten."
x x x
The morning sun broke through the tiny slit between the curtains and made her squirm. She slowly got off the bed and made her way to the bathroom. Amanda did not even realize she slept in her loungewear. She brushed her teeth and hair, staring at her bloodshot eyes and puffy face. She felt like everything around her was falling apart. Leaving her long blonde hair cascade down her back, Amanda made her way to the bedroom, looking for her cell. She found it where she left it on the commode, battery dead and all. Amanda cursed quietly and plugged it in. Making her way into the kitchen she poured a much-needed glass of water. The message machine's red light blinked, indicating that there were messages for her. She could only assume who was calling and cringed at the slightest thought of having to listen to the messages. Just as she was contemplating a shower, the phone rang again. Before she could reach it the doorbell rang. It was too much noise for her splitting head. Amanda pulled the cord out of the wall, shutting up the phone, and made her way to the front door. On the other side of the peephole stood Max.
Amanda took a deep breath and pulled the door open. She stepped aside silently as Max just as silently made her way in. The silence stretched as Max looked around, studying the decor of the house. Amanda felt like she could cut the tension with a knife. She was the first one to yield.
"Would you at least say something?"
Max turned to face her, browns as narrow as they could get. "I thought I'd leave all the talking to you. It seems like you're so good at it."
"It's not how you think it is."
"Really? Enlighten me."
Amanda stumbled out of the entranceway, through the living room, and into her still dark bedroom. She grabbed the almost empty bottle of Prozac and dropped some pills into her hand, not bothering to count. She swallowed them before she reached the kitchen and washed them down further with a glass of water. Through it all Max just watched her silently, hands crossed on her chest.
"He blackmailed me into it… and even then I didn't say the things he printed… well I did, but he took it out of the context. Why would I ever do this to you and Mich?"
"WHY? Because you get off on making other people miserable. Because you are a pathological liar. You can't control yourself… you can't help it but make yourself into a victim."
"What are you talking about! I've always been honest with you, except for that one god damn time I cheated, which was a bad judgment call!"
Max laughed indignantly. "Oh really? Do that again, the innocent blue eyes, the outraged expression… poor Mandy, the whole world is against her… you deserve an Oscar just for that. You're a much better actress in real life than you are in your professional one, Amanda." Max pulled out a piece of paper with a list of names on it and threw it on the kitchen island in front of Amanda. "You cheated on me once? These men seem to disagree with you."
Amanda stared at the familiar names, a cold vise tightening her chest. "That's not true."
Max could almost believe her. In fact, years ago she did believe everything Amanda said. She walked up to the woman and yanked her by the arm, forcing Amanda to look in her eyes. "You didn't just sleep with them… you had relationships with them. Professors, producers, screenwriters. Your whole career is built on sex… sex that you gave them in return for all those plays, all those movie roles. Tell me, Amanda, how many men are you sleeping with now?"
"You're drunk!" Amanda yelled, smelling the liquor on Max's breath.
"Who gives a shit?" Max let go of her, wiping the hand that held Amanda's arm as though it touched something dirty. "So? How many?"
"What does it matter?"
"You're right. That's your fiancé's problem, not mine. Out of curiosity, though, tell me, why me?"
"Because I loved you! You were my longest, my best relationship… you understood me, I felt like we belonged!" Tears streamed down her cheeks, her expression both hurt and regretful.
"Kill the act. I don't buy it anymore." Max replied cooly.
"It's not an act, it's the truth!"
"Really?" Max snorted. "Like you not wanting our relationship to be out because you've been bullied in school? Because you were an out lesbian? Bull shit. I went to your school. You were a fucking cheerleader, Amanda! There are pictures of you in that jock's lap hanging on the wall! Have you ever told me anything that was true? At all?"
"I never lied about how I felt about you! Despite what you may think." Amanda wiped her tears.
"Yeah, well, the thing with pathological liars… they can't help themselves but lie convincingly -"
The doorbell rang again and Max looked at her watch, her mouth turning up at the corner. "Come on, Mandy, you have a performance to give."
"What are you talking about?" Amanda took a step back as Max came closer, grabbing her arm once more.
Max dragged her all the way to the door, all the while saying: "You remember that photo session you insisted we do? You know, when Alan and Mich were honeymooning and boys were at the Hamptons? I'm sure it didn't escape you that I never packed those photos in the boxes when I threw you out. I didn't destroy them either. Not because I have a perverted sense of looking at my ex's private parts or her pleasure-ridden face as I made her come… It's a habit to keep shit like that in case things blow up in my face. Not bad, huh?" They stopped by the door, Amanda's face reflecting possibly one of the only real emotions it was still capable of showing: fear. "Go with the flow or I will give them those photos instead. I've got nothing to lose."
Max opened the door, revealing a man with a video crew. "Richard, good morning, I'm glad you could make it." Max stepped away, letting the crew in.
"Max, Ms. Johnson." Richard, a short thin man in his early thirties greeted as he walked inside.
"We can do the couch or the bar, the latter would probably be more appropriate." Max observed sarcastically.
"Either one is fine by me, though the lighting is better by the bar." The cameraman observed.
Max watched them set up the equipment, not letting go of Amanda's arm through the whole process.
"What do you have in mind?" Richard asked as he waited for the finishing touches to be put in.
"Amanda would like to make a statement." Max smiled at the blonde, who only stared back with hateful eyes.
Richard studied the two, sensing the tension, but whatever it was, it was not worth losing the exclusive. "Do you want to do it interview-style with both of you in the shot or just Amanda?"
"Oh, I'll be right by Amanda's side." Max replied, pointing to the two bar stools.
The two stools were moved closer together, a third at a short distance. They sat down, Amanda and Max next to each other at an angle to the bar, Richard facing them at a short distance.
"You could've at least let me change and put makeup on." Amanda hissed.
Max gave her a once-over. "Why? You look even more convincing."
"Ready?" Richard looked at them. Max nodded and the cameraman gave them a signal to begin. Richard smiled into the camera. "I'm sitting here today with actress Amanda Johnson and successful deejay and a member of Paradigm, Max DuBois. Max?" He turned to her, giving her a prompting smile and getting one in response.
"Thanks Richard. As many of you know, an interview with Amanda ran a few days ago in one of the most popular yellow-press periodicals."
"Yes, it was quite an unexpected shocker." Richard prompted.
"Especially to me!" Max shook her head in agreement. "See, I've never had anything but a platonic relationship with Michiru Kaioh."
Richard's genuine surprise was caught on camera, as was the glimpse of anger that slipped through Amanda's indifferent mask. "One of your roommates confirmed that you had a relationship and more, isn't that right, Amanda?"
Amanda just sat there, her expression the same, her mouth not moving. Max put a hand on her shoulder. "It's okay, Mandy… you can tell everyone the truth." She squeezed her shoulder, but Amanda still remained silent. Max sighed inaudibly and turned to Richard. "You see, Michiru and I never had a relationship of the kind Amanda described. Amanda and I, on the other hand, did."
Richard leaned forward, catching on to every one of her words. "The two of you used to date?"
Max nodded. "For three years in college."
"Amanda, do you have something to add to that?" Richard almost pleaded.
Amanda shrugged her shoulder. "I think she's pretty clear."
"Then why did you accuse your ex-girlfriend of having a relationship with your ex-roommate?"
"I was coerced into it." Amanda answered truthfully.
"How?"
She shifted on the stool before answering. "My relationship with Max was out of character… I have been with men before and after that, so I didn't want it to become a big deal. I buried it in my past and I didn't want it to come out. The reporter I gave the interview to threatened to expose our relationship unless I talked about Michiru and Max. Most of the words in the article were taken out of context."
"So Max and Michiru never had anything beyond friendship?"
"No."
"How about the two of you? Why did you break up?"
Amanda looked away, Max looked straight into the camera. "Amanda cheated."
"I'm sorry to hear that. Where do you stand now?"
Amanda remained silent as Max answered again. "I think this controversy is the only thing we have in common anymore."
"Amanda, will this coming to light affect your engagement to Joel DiCallo?"
"Joe knows about my relationship with Max. He knows it was just a stage in my life and that I have moved on since."
"Three years seems like a commitment, not a stage." Richard pointed out.
Max smiled, looking directly at Amanda's unreadable face. The actress smiled and brushed her hair, a light color covering her cheeks. She was back in her element. "We all make mistakes. Max was mine. I'm not a lesbian, I don't even think I'm bisexual to be completely honest with you."
"Apparently our relationship was Amanda's debut." Max snorted. "She truly deserves an award for that one."
Richard turned back to Max. "Not to borrow my colleague's words, but where does that leave you?"
Max shrugged. "Same place I've been in before. As far away from Amanda as possible, in good terms with my best friend Michiru Kaioh and her significant other, and as single as ever." She winked at the camera and Richard laughed, signaling to the crew that the interview was over.
"Thank you, I appreciate the exclusive." He extended her a hand which she shook.
"When will it be on?"
Richard checked his watch. It was almost eleven. "It will be on the six o'clock news."
"Good. Thanks for coming." Max shook his hand again and said goodbyes to the rest of the crew. As she closed the door and turned back she felt a hard slap land on her cheek.
"I can't believe you just did that!" Amanda stood in front of her, fuming.
"I can't believe you chose to lie about me having a relationship with Mich than admitting that we had one. Oh wait, I totally can. Stay out of our lives, bitch. Besides, this isn't going to do half as much damage to your image as it did to Michiru's."
"Are you fucking kidding me? I'm on a verge of getting the main role, any controversy is going to affect my career!"
"You chose this path. I don't give a shit, Amanda. Lie your way out of it. It's been working thus far."
They stared at each other for another few moments before Max turned around and left the house, hoping to never see Amanda again. She walked into the bright sun and just started walking. There was no specific direction, her legs just carried her away from the woman that made her suffer so much. Block after block she turned or kept on going, doing a few loops, not caring where she ended up. She just needed to walk off her stress. Walk off her hangover and the painful feeling that tore her chest apart. She could not believe she fell for that woman all those years ago.
x x x
After Max's departure Amanda made her way to the bedroom and emptied the remainder of her medication into her hand. She chugged the pills down, taking her clothes off and stepping into a hot shower. Tears streamed down her cheeks as Amanda put liquid soap on the sponge; it spilled over the edge and fell down to the floor of the shower cabin in lumps. Amanda was not stupid, she knew how Hollywood worked. Anyone who hid a same-sex relationship was bound to be the center of a scandal and she really was being considered for a role that she considered a major breakthrough. Over the past three years she has been in a number of films, but she has never had the main role. She was so close… why did it all have to fall apart now.
Her phone was halfway charged when she got out of the shower. Through the long list of missed calls those from Alan and Joe drew her attention. She figured they were calling to warn her about Max. Too bad she was passed out all day yesterday. Amanda was about to listen to the voicemails when the screen lit up, a call coming in from a familiar name.
"Hello?"
"A little birdy tells me that you just gave an interview without my knowledge."
Amanda cursed to the side, taking a seat on the bed. She looked at the nightstand, but the bottle was empty. "I didn't have any other choice."
"Choice is not the only thing you no longer have."
"What?" Her agent's words chilled her to the bone.
"Come on Amanda, I warned you about this. It's a major news and it's spreading like wildfire before they even processed the clip. Your chances of getting that role just went from high to their lowest."
"It's not a big deal… it's just a mistake from the past, they can't hold it against me."
"Dear, it's a film where the main actress has incredibly high morals. No one will chose you in their right consciousness."
Amanda stifled a sob and wiped her tears away. "Can you find out? You know, not for sure, but see which way the wind is blowing?"
"Uhhh. I'll do my best, but I doubt that I'm wrong about this. I told you we should apply for second as well."
"I'm tired of being always second."
"Then you should've kept your panties on and your mouth shut. I'll call you when I know something."
Amanda hang up, staring at her newly swollen face in the mirror. With every passing moment she felt only worse. She put some jeans and a top on and walked to the bar. Ever since she was put on antidepressant, Joe emptied the house of all liquor. She went through all the compartments in the bar, but found nothing. Slamming the doors shut, Amanda walked into the kitchen. Knowing Joe, he had to have at least a bottle of whiskey stashed somewhere. After another ten minutes Amanda retrieved a half-empty bottle from behind some cereal boxes. Not bothering to grab a glass, she twisted the top off and gulped down the amber liquid.
Amanda did not know how much time has passed when the phone rang again. Her face was still wet and a little under an inch of whiskey was left in the bottle. She looked at the caller ID and picked up her manager's call.
"Yeah?"
"I'm sorry, Amanda, they know about the story that's going to run. It's still unofficial, but I hear they'll go with someone else."
Amanda did not reply. She disconnected the call and put the phone on the counter. Raising the bottle back to her mouth, she gulped continuously until the liquid ran out, feeling her insides burn and causing more tears to come to her eyes. Setting the empty bottle back on the counter, she wiped her wet face and got up. There was no way Joe would stash more than one bottle around. Amanda made her way unsteadily through the house, searching for the car keys. She did not own a car, she did not need one. A taxi or limo was always available. Joe, on the other hand, had a Shelby GT sitting in the garage. She finally found what she was looking for in Joe's nightstand. She knew he would not take the keys to Europe with him. Amanda grabbed her purse and exited to the garage, opening the large door. She got inside the car and put the keys in the ignition. Cursing loudly at the fact that the car was stick, she finally started it and got out of the garage. As the door closed behind her back, Amanda got out on the street.
x x x
Having a lunch by himself was something Alan still tried to get accustomed to. Usually he either did not have time for lunch, or he had it with his bandmates… or before that it used to be with Michiru. Now that there was this awkward break in their schedule, he found himself all alone. He finished his panini and walked back to the loft, not knowing what else to do by himself. To his relief, he found Mark at home. The latter was going through his room, in search for something.
Alan stood in the doorway, observing Mark in amusement. After another couple of minutes he finally grew tired of it. "What are you doing?"
Mark turned, startled for a moment, then set the CDs he was holding down. "Hey, good, you're home. Do you have some cash I can borrow?"
Alan raised a brow. "I might have a hundred on me… are you running low on cash?"
Mark shrugged. "What can I say, going back to performing will be nice."
Alan pulled out five twenty-dollar bills from his wallet. "Is everything okay?"
Mark threw him a quick glance, taking the cash. "Sure. I've just had a bit of a problem with my bank, but everything's fine." He patted Alan on the shoulder. "Come on, as soon as we go on tour I'll be swimming in dough again."
Alan watched his friend pocket the money and leave the apartment without another word. Rubbing his eyes with his thumb and index finger, Alan swore silently.
x x x
Michiru, Joe and Sam landed in Los Angeles International Airport just before one. The first thing Michiru did after she turned her phone back on was dial Max. A sigh of relief escaped her as she heard long rings on the other end of the line. At least her phone was back on.
"Hey."
"Oh my god, Max, don't you ever do this to me again!" Michiru seethed through her teeth, relief washing over her.
"Ah, now you know how I feel, always worrying about you."
"Where are you?"
"I… have no idea."
"What do you mean? Are you okay? Why didn't you pick up before?"
"You're like those reporters. Can you resort to one question at a time?"
Michiru sighed. "Are you okay?"
"I'll be fine. Are you?"
"I still can't believe this is happening… I can't believe she did it… I'm just so confused."
"Don't worry about it, it'll all be cleared up tonight."
"What do you mean?"
"I'd rather explain in person… too bad I can't just close my eyes and travel across the globe."
"Where are you? I just got into LA."
"You're here? Why? You know what, it doesn't matter. I'll head back. I'm stayi-"
Michiru stared at the phone as Max disappeared in the middle of a word. Unlike what she thought, Michiru did not lose any bars. Her connection was perfect. "Max? Max?"
There was nothing but static and wind on the other end. Michiru hang up and redialed. After five long rings the voicemail picked up.
x x x
Joe's house was located in one of the suburban neighborhoods north of Beverly Hills. The streets gained elevation as they turned and wrapped up the hill, sometimes intersecting with similar streets and other times just looping around. There were no sidewalks and very few cars were parked on the sides of the streets. As Amanda started her descent to the more populated areas, she was undecided on what she wanted to do. A part of her wanted to drive to the nearest liquor store and get plastered, forgetting that the world around her existed. Another part wanted her to forget to turn at one of the curves and go straight down the hill or simply drive into a wall.
She found that switching gears at stop signs was increasingly annoying as the car stalled and occasionally shut off altogether. Deciding that it was a nuisance, Amanda sped ahead, only slowing down enough to make sure that no other cars were coming at intersections. It was not until she saw the lone figure walking down the street that it clicked in her mind. It all came together. Amanda wiped the tears and the snot with her forearm and switched the gears, bringing the car into fourth, speeding up as she drove straight towards the reason for her current state. The reason for an opportunity lost.
Her foot hit the gas pedal harder, the car asking desperately for her to switch to the next gear, but she just ignored the beast, instead concentrating on the woman who spoke on the phone, only turning at the sound of approaching car when it was too late. Amanda stared Max straight in the face as the Shelby struck her body, sending it flying against the windshield and violently throwing it off to the side.
x x x
The scandals, the media frenzy, the desire to know more and more about everything… it all keeps us blind to the reality. There are real people behind each story and that piece of entertainment we so desire to have, it may damage someone's career, ruin their relationship, or even cost them their life. Through the middle of my own media disaster I thought that the effect on my career and my relationships was the worst. It all faded in comparison to what happened after Max was accused of breaking my marriage.