Chapter 25: Giving Up Hurts The Most

I'm sorry I haven't written in a while. I just got into a boarding school and I've had a lot of 4-H work to do. If you haven't noticed the last few chapters have been song titles of my favorite band Underoath. Their new album Define the Great Line comes out June 20th I can't wait!

Hermione's POV

I can hear rapid typing in the other room. Lily on her laptop I suspect. Ron seems more timid than usual. It seems like he is afraid to get near me. I am trying to talk to Ron about getting married, but he seems to dodge the question. Is this a strange thing between males? Harry won't get near Lily and now Ron won't get near me. I don't understand. Will I ever be able to understand that male gender? Oh it's so infuriating. I really want to talk to Lily some more, but her problems seem bigger than even mine. I don't know whom to turn to anymore. I see what Lily means about not being to trust anyone. But still, I have hope for the male gender. I guess I will just have to try my best to figure out what is so wrong with everyone lately.

Ron's POV

I can't believe I killed Wormtail. Worst of all, I killed him with an unforgivable curse. I am a criminal. My family is not safe. Well, not that Hermione and I are married. That still bothers me. I want to marry Hermione so badly and she has been hinting at it. I don't know how to tell her I broke the rules. She still doesn't know. She doesn't know that in order to save her I had to kill someone. Even though I hated him, I never wanted him to die. I just panicked. I wonder how long it will be before they come to get me. I can't bring Hermione and the baby into this. I just want so badly to protect them.

Normal POV- with some recollection

Hermione looked through her photographs. So many things had changed in the time she had been a child. Every memory in these photos had been bittersweet. She was the best at everything her muggle school, but she also wanted to have friends. Every picture reminded her of how lonely she had been. She cried herself to sleep some nights wondering why she couldn't have any friends. Her grandmother saw her crying one night and invited her over after school. Hermione agreed and instead of studying after school she began to sew with her grandmother. She learned many life lessons as well as life skills from her grandmother. One year before she was invited to Hogwarts her grandmother passed away. Hermione was crushed. She looked at all those photographs. She never had a smile on her face. It wasn't until after she began attending Hogwarts that a smile gradually found a way on her face on any of the photographs.

She couldn't help but smile remembering her years at Hogwarts. Being in this room was so depressing. The school would never be the same without Dumbledore. She would never graduate from this school with the highest honor. She would never even graduate! She wanted to get married after she started studying for the job of Hogwarts History Proffessor. Proffesor Binns had needed to rest in peace long ago so she would give him a chance. Nothing was working out the way she had wanted it to. How could Draco promise her peace and safety. It was just one night, but she was vulnerable.

Hermione's Flashback

It was just a day in the library. That was until I received a letter from a secret admirer. We wrote for about a month back and forth leaving the notes taped under the library table. Finally one day we decided to meet.

We met in the room of requirement. Draco smiled when he saw the shocked expression on my face. He sat down on the bed in the room and said to me, "Hermione you will finally know my feelings." I couldn't stop looking at him with amazement surely on my face. Draco came up to be and held my hands. He moved in closer to my face and kissed me square on the lips.

"Draco what are you doing," I remember myself saying.

"Hermione, I have lusted for you for to long," Draco said.

"What are you talking about," I said.

"You're the only girl I could never see myself with, but the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with,"

Shocked, I sat down with him on the bed. He began to kiss me again. But this time it was deeper. I had never been kissed like this before. I had a fling with Victor Krum, but it wasn't as intimate as this. Draco began to move his hands to my chest and started moaning. I had no idea what to do. I had never been put in this position before. If we had sex, this would be my first time.

"Draco this is going to fast," I said.

"Ok Hermione, I'll stop," Draco said.

This was the first time I had ever seen him being nice about something he wanted. I was awestruck to say the least.

"What's wrong Hermione you look sick," Draco said.

"Draco, being nice, caring about anyone but himself, what's going on?" I thought to myself.

"Hermione, I have changed," Draco said as if he had been reading my mind at that moment. "Just give me a chance."

So I gave him a chance. We dated in secret for a month. We understood that the world wasn't ready to see us together yet. One day Draco asked me something unbelievable. It was so unbelievable because I agreed to it.

"Hermione?" Draco said.

"Yeah Draco," I said back.

"Are you ready?" he asked.

"Ready for what?" I asked back.

"To be together intimately," he said.

I could feel my face going pale. I thought he cared about me why would he ask me such a thing.

"I was hoping you would go on the pill," he said.

"And why's that?" I asked sarcastically.

"Because it is supposed to feel better for you if we do start to have sex," he said.

Once again I was in shock. He had actually thought of me. He thought of how I felt and our safety.

"This is my first time Hermione so don't worry about STDs," Draco said.

I couldn't believe the words that came out of my mouth next. "I will go on the pill Draco,"

We talked about it for weeks as I started the pill. Draco asked me privately to meet him in the room of requirement. I felt so safe with Draco he made me feel stable. He promised that this would bring us closer together and that we would be together forever and he would take care of me.

We were in the room of requirement together and he started to undress. I undressed as well and he threw me on the bed. He took away my innocence, but as we began to stop he laughed saying "Finally,"

Confused I stood up and asked him what he meant by that and he replied, "I didn't think it was possible but I finally got you," he said.

"What are you talking about?" I asked.

"Well Hermione, I lied to you. I could never live my life out with a Mudblood. I am not staying with you Hermione. But hey, I did what I set out to do. I finally got in your pants. It was fun, but now its over. Oh, but I did tell you the truth about one thing. That was my first time. I was saving myself for a challenge. I thought you would be more interesting, but you were a waste of my time," he said and then he left the room.

I started crying I felt so taken advantage of. I left the room and went into the common room. I didn't know that Ron was in there as he tried to comfort me. We took a secret passageway to the Hog's Head and we drank and talked. I never told him what was really wrong I just told him that it was a family problem. Before I knew it we were both drunk. We staggered back to Hogwarts, but we didn't make it to our common room. We went into the Room of Requirement and we had sex. I woke up the next morning naked next to Ron and I knew what had happened, but surprisingly it felt good to be next to Ron. I snuggled closer and he opened his eyes and smiled. He knew what had happened to as I explained that I was on the pill to "regulate my period". He believed me and said that he had wanted to date me for a while, but was too afraid to tell me. From that day on Ron and I had been a couple, but we decided to keep it away from Harry. We knew he had enough on his plate without having us to deal with as well.

End Flashback

Hermione realized that she had to tell someone her story. She decided to tell Lily anyway. Maybe Hermione's story would give Lily a chance to spill her story as well. Hermione didn't think this would be a good moment the rapid typing had stopped, but she wasn't sure if Lily was in any mood talk. Hermione decided to wait and write her feelings out.

THANXMYSTERIOUSMYSTICFOR YOUR REVIEW! I HOPE EVERYONE KEEPS READING PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!