Author's Note: So, I had to rework this chapter after the fact because my 2AM brain-addled writer's mind totally forgot that Harry would be around 18 months or so instead of slightly over 12 months. Also, I think I completely forget the time when my own children were 18 months due to brain damage caused by sleep deprivation. So I'm going to change it in the interest of not being yelled at in the comments any longer.
Chapter 25: Why I Otter…
Hermione did not like biting people on principle. Not only did it usually taste horrible, but she thought herself above being such an animal, even when she was in animal form.
Severus, however, was staring at Harry as though the boy was a dementor come to give him a Kiss. No matter how loudly Hermione squeaked at him, he didn't turn his head to look at her. In fact, all he would do was mumble things under his breath in a broken manner. It was as though his mind had overheated and he simply couldn't handle the complexity of the situation he now found himself in.
Finally, she'd had enough. She lunged forward and nipped Severus right on the finger of his right hand.
"Yowch!" Severus yelped, nearly dropping Harry, who began to giggle. "Hermione! Why would you-oh."
Hermione gave him a half-lidded glare, which was harder to do without discernable eyebrows and while in otter form, but she managed.
With a wave of his wand, she was standing in human form, looking at him with the same expression.
"Come on, then," she said, motioning to Severus with both hands.
He looked at her dumbly for a moment before he seemed to understand and handed Harry over.
Hermione may have been an only child, but she had done some babysitting before during the summers at home. She liked children well enough, though the nappy and spitting up part left much to be desired. Hermione was surprised at how light he was in her arms.
"They've only had him for a few months and he looks like this," Hermione muttered murderously, clutching Harry protectively. "No. Harry, we shall never make you go back to those monsters."
Harry giggled and snuggled into her chest with a happy coo, and it was then that she knew for certain that he'd been starved of much more than food. Almost humorously, Harry stayed glued to Hermione for the next half an hour as Severus finally deposited the mithril bags and their unpleasant occupants in his laboratory and then went upstairs to get washed up.
Meanwhile, Hermione conjured up some wide cloth straps to help her hold Harry in place against her body while she worked on preparing his bottle. Even though he wasn't a baby any longer, he still wanted to be close to her, and her arms and back were letting her know in no uncertain terms that they protested being used for such a long time without a break. It wasn't exactly easy with him wiggling against her (and trying to put his hand down her shirt a couple of times, which was utterly embarrassing) but she was able to get a reasonably warm bottle of formula ready for him within a few minutes. She placed him in one of the chairs and strapped him into it for good measure. After all, it wouldn't do to have him fall head first onto the tile floor. He happily ate it all without complaint, and burped loudly when he was finished. Clapping his hands, Harry opened his mouth wide, grinning with satisfaction and showed off his baby teeth. Hermione could see where his molars had only recently broken through the gum line. She began to wonder what solid foods would be best to try with him, especially due to the fact that she knew some children could develop allergies if exposed to certain foods too early. She was, however, pretty certain that there was a book that would help her figure it out.
"Waaaan! Waan!" Harry was holding out his arms and shouting insistently at her. It wasn't hard to figure out what he meant.
Hermione smiled and released Harry from his bonds, letting him practically pounce onto her lap. She bounced him gently on her knee, eliciting another loud burp and a string of giggles from the small boy. She began wondering what Harry, her Harry would think of this odd situation. He'd probably blush and tell her that he'd really appreciate it if she'd not seen that particular thing.
In fact, she wondered if things had already changed because Severus had taken Harry away from the neglectful home that he'd originally grown up in. Then she began to worry about whether it would change things so much that the future would no longer be anything like she remembered.
"But really, would it be that bad?" She said to Harry in a sing-song voice as she played a halfway decent game of patty-cake with him. He seemed to be enjoying the game quite a until he suddenly turned, his eyes growing wide and serious at something behind Hermione.
"He's staring at me again," Severus commented from the doorway, "It's beginning to creep me out."
"Do you think that what Petunia said was true?" Hermione asked, feeling bad about bringing up the subject of the unpleasant Mrs. Dursley again so soon after having to see her in the flesh.
"What? His parentage? Psh. Look at the boy's hair and then tell me if you doubt his true parentage. He looks like he just stuck a fork in an outlet." Severus crossed his arms and leaned against one side of the door frame, pointedly trying to stare at anything but Harry Potter's squirming form. Harry began to practically kick Hermione in the stomach as he stretched his arms out straight towards the lanky Potions master, begging to be picked up.
"Peez! Peez! Up!" Harry cried, which made Hermione smirk as Severus grumbled.
"It looks like he wants you, Daddy Severus," Hermione teased, snickering at the pinched look that Severus shot back at her.
"If I ever find myself referred to in that manner again, I think I shall be sick," he replied sardonically, but he came forwards and took Harry from Hermione, holding the tot under the armpits and staring skeptically at him. "Why must this little...creature insist on being utterly unimpressed with my terrifying visage?"
Hermione giggled. "I think that's because most young children have a knack for knowing the difference between a truly scary person and someone who is simply trying to look that way. Also, I think that after having to endure the Dursley's so-called hospitality, your scowls and grumblings pale in comparison."
Severus opened his mouth to say something else, but Harry had grasped him by the tip of his beak-like nose and he made a surprised "wumph" noise instead. This, of course, made Harry giggle loudly, which proved to be infectious to Hermione as well.
"What are we going to do with the boy while we're at school?" Severus said, rubbing his nose after handing Harry back to Hermione again.
Hermione bounced and rocked Harry gently, noticing how his head was beginning to droop heavily on her shoulder. She smiled, looking at Severus conspiratorily.
"Shhh," she said quietly, "It looks like someone is about to go off to the land of Nod."
Severus looked at her confusedly for a moment before realization dawned in his eyes and he set about creating a little bed on the couch for the boy. Hermione gently laid him down and wrapped him in the blanket that she found in the basket Petunia had practically thrown at Severus earlier, watching Harry with a sense of protectiveness that she didn't realize she had in her. It was very different from how she normally felt about her family and friends. Sure, he was technically Harry, a boy she had become close friends with from the moment that he and Ron had saved her from a murderous troll, but he was also small. Defenseless.
There was something about these things that made her want to protect him like a mama bear protecting her cubs. It was then, as she realized, with some embarrassment, that Severus was looking at her with a mixture of awe and desire, that she knew what she was feeling.
"He will be my son," she said, staring fiercely at Severus and daring him to disagree.
He shook his head and she flinched, worried that he was about to say something heartless and cruel.
"No," he said, his face solemn. "He will be our son. Though I cannot promise not to utterly muck it up."
"And I think I know exactly how we'll pull it off," Hermione said, smirking deviously as she took Severus by the hand and led him towards the kitchen.
Severus began to follow her before he seemed to remember something and pulled back, turning to face Harry and cast a couple of charms around the sleeping boy- one to keep him from falling off the couch, and one to notify them both if he woke up. It would not do for the boy to toddle around and open up one of the dark magic tomes on the nearby bookcase or pull something heavy over on himself.
Satisfied, he turned with a smirk as Hermione looked at him sheepishly.
"Dumb me, thinking like a muggle!" Hermione moaned softly as they entered the hall, but then she recovered, "Wait...how did you know those charms, anyway?"
"Even though the House Elves are useful, there are times when they cannot...fulfill their duties," Severus replied, looking sheepish. "I may, on occasion, have served as nurseminder for young Draco."
Visions of baby Draco wearing a frilly bonnet and pulling on Snape's hair or vomiting up his food on Snape's dark robes filled Hermione's head. She covered her mouth with both hands to stifle the laughter that was threatening to escape, and it wasn't long before Severus was sitting across from her with a hand over his own mouth as well, trying to look serious while attempting to refrain from dissolving into a fit of laughter.
"It was fairly awful at it at first, to be completely honest, but Narcissa...she is the most capable of mothers, and an excellent teacher," Severus admitted, when they'd calmed down and a cup of tea was in front of them both. "Like all things, one only gets better with practice."
"I can think of another sort of practice I'd like to get up to," Hermione replied rakishly, causing Severus to nearly spit out a mouthful of tea.
It was then that he stood abruptly, towering over her, and she'd only just had the chance to put the tea on the table when he pulled her chair out abruptly and lifted her chin with one finger bringing his lips against hers with the maddening pressure of barely-controlled desire.
"I thought you would never ask," he whispered huskily against her lips as they gasped and came up for air.
Hermione had never gotten up to such shenanigans against a wall in a kitchen before, but as he kissed her hot and fast and pressed his body against hers, Severus made it very clear that he was happy to help her find out exactly how pleasurable it could be.
Petunia Dursley was a nosy woman by nature. So, when the strange, old man with the long gray beard began to walk up and down her street at different times of the day, she noticed immediately. Petunia was well aware of the nightly news stories about child abductors and weird people who turned out to be cannibals or murderers but she knew that she'd be written off as hysterical if she called the police over some odd man who happened to stroll down a public street. Still, she felt personally offended by the man, as though he were exuding some odorless stench that made her stick her nose in the air and draw all the curtains until she was sure that he was gone.
Then, one evening, when Petunia had just finished putting the dishes in the dishwasher and Vernon was putting his feet up while watching a little rugby on the television, it happened. There was a soft knock at the front door and Petunia rushed to the front hall, untying her apron.
Something, perhaps it was the realization that it was very dark outside, made her pause before opening the door and instead she called "Who is there?"
"Hello, Petunia." The voice was familiar, and terrifying all at once. Petunia's mind reeled. She knew that voice, but she despised it at the same time.
"What do you want?" She replied sharply, feeling her hackles raising.
"How is the boy?" The man's voice asked, and Petunia feld her heart thudding painfully in her chest. Logically, she knew that Dudley was crashing cars into each other in the television room where his father was, but headlines swam in front of her eyes featuring her son on the front.
"Leave him alone, you!" She hissed angrily through the door, "He's our beloved son and you will never have him!"
A noise came from the man on the other side of the door that sounded almost like a triumphant chuckle, but Petunia had blood rushing in her ears as she readied herself to run to the phone to telephone the police.
"Ah, yes, how delightful. Just remember to take good care of him, Petunia. After all, you know that if you do not, Lily would be disappointed."
Petunia thought it odd that the man seemed to know of her sister, but she didn't think much of it. After all, there had been all sorts of weird people who had known Lily Potter, and the sooner she and her normal little family were well shot of any ties to them, the better.
"You'd better leave right now and never come back!" Petunia huffed loudly, "Or else I'm going to call the police and have them take you away!"
"Ah, yes, so you shall." The man's voice seemed resigned but satisfied. "Goodbye, then, Petunia. I hope I shall not need to check in on you again."
Petunia waited by the front door until the man's soft footfalls faded away and then looked out the window to confirm that the man had gone. It was only then that she realized that she was gripping her forearm arm so hard that her fingernails had drawn blood.
"Good riddance!" Petunia scoffed, running to the kitchen sink to run her arm under cool water.
But all that night, she found her eyes opening wide at every tiny noise as the house settled and bushes scratched against windows.
For something told Petunia Dursley that the mysterious man who'd visited her was a terribly dangerous person, and the thought that he might be after anyone's son was utterly terrifying.
"Are you sure it will work?" Severus asked skeptically.
"We won't know until we try it," Hermione replied with a shrug. "However, every book I've researched on the subject says that it's perfectly harmless and may actually have other positive effects, such as allowing the child to develop certain physical development milestones more quickly."
"Fine. But if the child explodes, on your head so be it," Severus grumbled and pulled his wand out.
Instantly, Hermione was in otter form again, moving up to the couch where Harry was sitting and watching them intently. He clapped and grinned when Hermione shimmied up onto the couch next to him.
She stared at Severus pointedly and he groaned.
"Fine, fine, I'm doing it already!" he muttered, pointing his wand at Harry.
There was a small pop and suddenly, an otter pup was lying on the blanket where the child had been. Hermione immediately picked up the pup with her mouth and began grooming him while he squeaked with pleasure. After she'd finished grooming Harry, Severus watched as Hermione dutifully herded the curious pup around his living room and had to admit that Harry was even cuter in his new form.
"Heh. Forget Harry Potter. Let's call him Hairy Otter instead," Severus said with a snicker.
Hermione made a derisive snort and let out a dubious squeak.
"I know, I know. Terrible pun. I simply could not help myself," Severus replied, hiding his smirk behind his hand.
With that, Severus sat back on his leather wingback chair watching the otters play and chase each other, and it became rather clear that he was going to need some sort of swimming tank for the two otters. After all, the nearby river was still choked with remnants of the industrial waste that had been choking its banks for decades. Intrigued, he summoned a pen and some parchment and began making tentative plans, only stopping when Hermione climbed up on his chair by sliding her serpentine neck under the parchment and peering up at him with an absurdly adorable squeak. Harry was hopping up and down at his adoptive mother's feet trying to imitate Hermione and doing an adorably poor job of it due to his size. Unlike in his toddler form, it was much easier for him to move around on four legs, but Severus marveled at how, when he looked into the little otter's eyes, they were still the exact same shade of green as when he was in human form.
Once Hermione and Harry had been transformed back into their human shapes, it was very obvious that Harry was hungry again. After a feeding, a changing, a bath and a little rocking and cuddling, Harry was ready to sleep for the night. Severus spent some time remodeling and baby-proofing the tiny room that had been his own while Hermione finished with the bath and diapering part of the equation. Hermione put Harry down in the large, oak crib, looking at Severus with surprise.
"My grandad on my father's side made it for me when my parents announced they were having me," he said, somewhat uncomfortably, "It's been in the attic ever since. My father once wanted to tear it apart and burn it when we were low on coal, but Mum won the argument in the end."
Harry seemed to agree that the bed was absolutely perfect, as it was obvious that he had fallen into a deep asleep. Severus cast the same detection and protection charms over the crib as he had earlier, and both he and Hermione made their way to the master bedroom, their bodies far too exhausted to do much more than cuddle before they both slipped off into a deep and dreamless sleep.