South Park: The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints

by WildCard0531

Samuel Cooper is a young lad from Houston, TX. He also has a superhero alter ego known as Sir Justice. Watch as Sam goes through life fighting for his friends, the town, and later, the world. The reason I made this fanfic was because I was in the mood to make an anime esque adventure fanfic with South Park characters. Favorite if you wish. Enjoy! First entry in SPS Universe

25. Vacation of Devastation (Part 3)

The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints: Episode 23: Vacation of Devastation (Part 3)

(Picking up where part 2 left off, Captain Alejandro Cervantes has Doug, Jeffrey, Leon, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto in captivity. The captain has found the location of Venice Beach, and now he and his armada are on their way to do some blood harvesting, and finish off the South Park Saints)

Crewmate #1: (Looks into the telescope from the crow's nest) Sir, we be landing on the beach in a little less than an hour!

Cervantes: Yar, har, har! Fantastic! My minions! Today, we do Satan and his dark enterprise proud! Today be the day we harvest the blood for Damien, and finally get rid of those scurvy Saints once and for all! When we go out there today, show no mercy! And when you see those saints, make them pay for being thorns in Satan's side! Let's show those landlubbers what we be made of!

(The crew mates cheer enthusiastically)

Cervantes: Those saints don't stand a ghost of a chance! Yar, har, har! (Cut to a shot that shows Doug, Jeffrey, Leon, Mr. Slave, Sophocles, and Mephesto locked up in a dungeon below deck) And I have feeling when they learn that their crewmates be rotting in the brig, their spirits shall weaken…and it be that moment when we snuff out their lives! I hope they're ready for our arrival. It'll be the last surprise they'll ever experience!

(Cut to a shot that shows a crowd gathered around the beach's stage, where Bridon, Jason, Bradley, and Esther are going to perform)

(Intro song: Resonance by T.M Revolution)

(The intro starts with the town of South Park, and a teenaged Damien looks down on the town from atop a hill)

(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara? Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka?)

(Enemy soldiers dressed in black are attacking the town and spreading chaos and destruction)

(Roku ni me mo awasazu unmei ni made karandeku Yukisaki moro kabutteru kuenai yoru wo hashire)

(The main characters that include teenaged Samuel/Sir Justice, Kurt/Smith the Kid, Bridgette/the Singing Angel, Ursula/Samurai of Light, Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress, Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens, Kenny/Mysterion, Cartman/Coon, Butters/Professor Chaos, Stan/Tool Shed, Kyle/Human Kite, Craig/DJ C-Rage, Tweek/Peppy Prince, Token/Tupper Wear, Clyde/Mosquito, Red/Madame Knight, Heidi/Fatal Feline, Annie/Darling Dame, Leon/Beo-Wolf, Mr. Slave/Glamorous Gardener, Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens, Doug/Cerulean Viper, Cody/Mr. Gentleman, Dr. Sophocles, and Mephesto and his genetic experiments charge into the town ready for the fight of their lives. They all fight off the soldiers)

(Fukaoi shisugita mabushisa ga warui yume ni tsuzuite mo)

(Damien appears along with his 13 commanders (12 of which are Trent, Justin, Ethel, Max, Tobias Shredder, Paris Hilton in her Smiles mask and power suit, Dimitri, Charon, Ms. Penelope Marlowe, Bianca, Noah, and Alejandro Cervantes). Our heroes look at each other, smirk, pull out their weapons and fight)

(Tsunaida tamashii no hi ga mune wo sasu nara Kotoba yori motto tsuyoi hibiki ga ima kikoeru ka? Deatta wake wa dou datte ii mikitsukerarete Fureta shunkan no kizu no fun dake tashika ni nareru)

(Damien steps forward ready to face our heroes, and they prepare to clash as the title of the fanfic, "The Legend of Sir Justice and the South Park Saints" appears)

(Back on Venice Beach, everybody is gathered around the stage where Jason's band, Wolf Jaws, will perform again. All of our heroes, sans for Stan, Heidi, Nichole, Chadwick, Brimmy, Sally, Lola, Kenny, Kyle, Cartman, and Kelly PT are waiting for the show to resume. They're all gathered near the front of the stage. Jimmy, Butters, Dan, Jessie, and Kal are sharing some of their snacks with our heroes, offering some chocolate to Terrance Mephesto)

Butters: Have some chocolate, Terrance. It's really good.

Terrance M: (Chuckles) No thanks. Do you know how bad that is for you?

Jimmy: C'mon Terrance, it wouldn't k-k-kill you to live for a change.

Terrance M: I don't know if you've noticed, but I like my face. And this close to prom, I'm not in any mood to get pimples or added weight. Ever heard of the saying "moment on the lips, a life time on the hips"?

Jessie: (Glares) Your face has never looked more punchable.

Dan: Is this guy always this big a buzz kill?

Kal: Kid, you don't know the half of it.

(In another part of the crowd, Bridgette, Clyde, and Kevin, are waiting for the show to begin)

Clyde: So, Bridge, what did you really think of me when I went bald for Halloween last year?

Bridgette: I honestly liked it. Some men look better bald, and that includes you.

Clyde: Do you really mean it?

Bridgette: (Folds her arms) Now why would I say something I don't mean. My parents raised an honest girl.

Cody: (Arrives to the scene) Hey guys!

Bridgette: Hey, Cody, where've you been?

Cody: Just looking for a nice place where Bebe and I can have a little alone time.

Clyde: Cool, where?

Cody: If I told you, then who's to say you won't go and tell Bebe and ruin my surprise? Speaking of which, where is the love of my life? (As if on cue, Bebe comes up to the group)

Bebe: Codykins, there you are. I've been looking everywhere for you. (Looks at the crowd around her) Wolf Jaws really attracted quite the crowd. You'd think these beach goers have never seen a band perform before.

Clyde: Well Jason and his friends worked really hard, and judging by this crowd I'd say their work really paid off.

Cody: Indeed. (Turns to Bebe) So…darling, we have some time before the show begins. Anything you want to tell me? Something you may have done in the past that you might be afraid to tell me?

Kevin: You're not exactly being subtle, dude.

Cody: Ssshhhhhhh! (Kevin shuts up)

Bebe: Well, promise you won't get mad but…a few weeks ago when you called and asked if I wanted to hang out with you and I said I had to help my parents with spring cleaning…I wasn't actually cleaning, I was binge watching the Harry Potter films with Butters, Wendy and Sam.

Kevin: That's lame. Harry Potter? I'd understand if it was Lord of the Rings, Star Wars, the entire MCU, but Harry Potter?

Cody: Kevin, don't interrupt.

Bebe: I'm sorry I wasn't honest with you, Cody.

Cody: Okay, is there anything else?

Bebe:…I ate too much at your 15th birthday and while no one was looking I threw up in your bathroom sink. (Hearing this causes Kevin and Clyde to laugh)

Cody: That was you!? I thought it was Uncle Sophocles 'cause he had a lot to drink that day.

Bebe: Yeah, that was me. Your cooks make the best food, I guess I couldn't help myself. Anyway, other than that I don't think I have anything left to confess (Blinks twice).

Cody: (To himself) She blinked twice! Wendy said that Bebe blinks twice whenever she lies. (Out loud) Are you sure?

Bebe: (To herself) Damn, I think he knows about the list incident! But how? Maybe if I continue to play it cool he'll leave me alone (Out loud) I promise you, baby, I have a clear conscience now (Blinks twice again)

Cody: Well, if you're sure, I'll leave you alone.

Clyde: Sshhhh…

Bridgette: Quiet, you two, I see Wolf Jaws on stage!

(Wolf Jaws is about to perform and the crowd goes wild)

Bradley: (Spinning his drumsticks) Aw yeah! I love the sound of a good crowd. Let's kick it!

Bridon: (Turns to Jason) Hey, Jason, would it be okay if I kick off this part of our beach side concert?

Jason: Go for it, kiddo.

Bridon: (Gets giddy as he steps to the front of the stage) This first song is an oldie but a goodie, and I want to dedicate this song to a special girl in the audience today. Not sure if she's here, but I hope she's listening. See, about eight years ago some jerk broke her heart real bad, and now she's struggling to love again. I wish to sing this song in hopes that I can get through to her, and tell her that not every guy is bad. So Kelly, PT, this one goes out to you.

(Bridon clears his throat as the band begins to play Smile a Little Smile for Me by the Flying Machine)

Bridon: (Singing) You really should accept, this time he's gone for good. He'll never come back now, even though he said he would. So, darling, dry your eyes. So many other guys would give the world, I'm sure, to wear the shoes he wore! Oh come on, smile a little smile for me, dear Kelly. Where's the use in cryin'? In a little while you'll see, sweet Kelly. You must keep on tryin'! I know that he hurt you bad. I know darling, don't be sad. Smile a little smile for me, dear Kelly, my Kelly.

(The crowd is loving every minute of the performance, especially our heroes. Some members of the audience even begin to break out lighters to wave in the air. Even Apollo can't help but crack a smile, temporarily breaking him out of his doldrums)

Millie: (Looking around) I can't believe PT is missing this!

Maria: I know, this has to be the most romantic gesture you can do for someone.

Craig: Wherever she is, I'm sure she can hear it. She just has to open her heart. And I'll tell you, if this doesn't do it nothing will.

(Meanwhile, on a separate part of the beach, Kelly Pinkerton-Tinfurter is just looking at the concert from a distance, hearing Bridon's singing…she's not moved at all by it)

Kelly PT: Pfft, the fool actually thinks a song can win me over. (She looks over to the ocean and decides to take a swim)

(Kelly PT swam far away from the beach to ease her troubled mind, between the words her friends told her and Bridon's constant attempts at winning her over, she's not sure what to do. She's now just floating on her back looking up into the blue sky, letting the waves rock her)

Kelly PT: I don't know why I'm the object of that kid's affections. I already told him I'm not interested and I never will be interested in him or anyone else for that matter. Although, the likes of Bebe, Bridgette, Annie, and all those other girls look happy with their boyfriends, having nothing but great things to say about them, they probably just have a lot of luck, something I feel that I don't have. They went back down the path of love and came back fruitful. I worry that if I go back down I'll end up worse than I did before. I'm not taking that chance. What's so great about having a boyfriend anyway? They're just nothing but a burden in the long run, holding you back from your full potential. Without a boyfriend I'll probably get an awesome job, a bitchin' house in the country, and if I ever feel the need to get kids I'll just adopt. Not to mention in 20 years time, I'll probably have the most rockin' bod out of all the girls in my class.

(PT looks around and sighs)

Kelly PT: I'm pretty far out, and I'm not in the mood to become shark food. It's probably best if I head back.

(Just as Kelly is getting ready to turn around and swim back to shore she sees something in the distance: An armada of pirate ships! She looks confused until one of the ships spots her. When it arrives to her, a crewmate looks down from on deck and gives an evil grin, causing her to gulp in fear)

(Back on the beach, Wolf Jaws finished another song and the audience is going wild)

Esther: Do you hear the people's cheers! They absolutely love us!

Bradley: I know, it's awesome! (He suddenly hears whistling) I can even hear the crowd whistling! (The whistling gets louder causing the crowd to silence their cheers)

Jason: I don't think that's the crowd whistling…

BOOM!

(A cannonball had landed on the beach, hurting nobody, but scaring the daylights out of them, especially our heroes)

Tweek: WHAT WAS THAT?! (Another whistling sound can be heard, and this time everybody sees the cannonball)

Sam: HIT THE DECK!

(Everyone dodges out of the way of the attack)

Ursula: Where's all this cannon fire coming from?!

Annie: Uh…guys, you might want to take a look at this. (Points out to the ocean and everyone sees an armada of pirate ships landing on the beach)

Sam: (Whines) Oh come on! Can we just have some time to ourselves and not have to worry about some random bullshit?!

Wendy: Doesn't look like it, hon. It looks like it's going to be one of those days.

(Hordes of crewmates leave the ships and take out their swords and guns)

Crewmate #2: Harvest the blood! For Captain Cervantes!

Crewmates: YEAH! (They open fire on innocent beach goers, taking blood from any of the corpses. The Saint members that are on the beach gather)

Maria: If they're killing these beach goers for their blood, I think it's a safe bet that they're working towards reviving Damien.

Token: Well then it looks like our only option is to take them out!

Sam: (Holds up a duffle bag) I've got our gear right here!

Red: Well what are we waiting for?!

Crewmate #3: Aye! I think that group be those South Park Saints the captain be prattling on about.

Butters: (Fakes a foreign accent) Oi! No way, da! We be exchange students from…Yugoslavia! We don't know a thing 'bout them Saints. We're not them, please don't think we are.

Crewmate #3: DIE! (They open fire on the 18 Saints, who run into some changing tents to gear up. They emerge ready to kick ass and take names)

Sam/Sir Justice: You all ready to rid this beach of these swashbuckling scumbags?

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Dude, I'm always ready!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Let's show these assholes what happens when you mess with a hardworking Saint's vacation!

Kevin: Don't worry, Craig. (Injects himself with another sample of animal D.N.A and grows a rhinoceros horn on the crown of his head) I think they'll get the point!

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Just a casual reminder, everyone, nobody can know about mine and Apollo's true identities.

Apollo/Psychotic Plague: Yeah, because unlike you lot, we have legitimate superpowers, and if anyone knows who we are, we'll be labeled as freaks.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: At this point, I don't think they'll really care what you are as long as you save the day.

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Still though.

Token/Tupper Wear: Uh, can we get back at the mission at hand, please?

Maria/White Mind Maiden: Oh, of course. (Focus is brought back on the crewmates)

Crewmate #3: Yar, har, har! Ye be toast!

Millie: (Taking aim with her shotguns) Well come on then! (The 18 saints do battle with the hoards of Crewmates)

(Meanwhile, at the Boardwalk Skate Park, Ace, Carmel, Inkwell, and Blaze are doing tricks to further impress Cartman, Kyle, Kenny, and Lola)

Inkwell: Heh, we be ripping up this skate park, yo! And we have been for almost sixteen years.

Ace: We've got this summer's Beachside Skate-a-thon in the bag, dudes! (Suddenly, the 10 characters hear screaming)

Kyle: Uh, what's that?

Ace: It's the sound of thousands of adoring fangirls, rushing to see us and our mad skills yo! (The crowd runs past the skate park)

Lola: I guess not.

Kenny: It looks like they're running towards something else…

Kyle: Or running away from something else.

Cartman: What do you mean?

Kyle: (Points at a brick wall to show four of Cervantes' Crewmates hopping over it)

Crewmate #4: Ah! What luck! Eight fresh blood samples for the captain!

Kyle: Blood? You think they work for the last advocate?

Kenny: It's a possibility.

Cartman: Should've guessed another dick of an advocate would be behind this bullshit.

Crewmate #4: Let's get them, mateys! Charge! (The crewmates charge at the eight, but Ace, Inkwell, Carmel, and Blaze stand in their way)

Ace: No way dude! Not gonna happen! (Takes out a pistol as does his other three buddies) Open fire, yo! (Ace and his buddies fire their pistols, and kill off the four crewmates)

Blaze: Ha, ha! That'll teach them!

Lola: (Amazed) Holy shit!

Carmel: We always carry out trusty pistols around in case shit hits the fan.

Kyle: Why?!

Ace: The four of us roll from the other side of the tracks, yo! Plenty of stray bullets to go around. We've gotten so used to carrying these pistols when we leave our homes we take them everywhere we go. It's become a force of habit.

Inkwell: It looks like our bad habits worked in our favor this time though.

Carmel: (Looks at Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny) Yo, if you boys are the South Park Saints, why don't you suit up and beat these buccaneer bastards?

Cartman: Because we don't have our costumes or weapons with us.

Kenny: Yeah, our friends have them. They should be back on the beach.

Ace: If that's the case then we've got to get you boys back to the beach so you can reunite with your friends teach these losers a lesson, yo!

Kenny: Enough talking, let's move! (The eight hurry back to the beach)

(Meanwhile at Heidi's Uncle Ed's restaurant, Heidi, Stan, Chadwick, Nichole, Brimmy, and Sally are enjoying their lunch when they hear sirens go off in town)

Chadwick: What the hell is that?

Brimmy: Yo, I think I know what's happening! The aliens attacking?!

Sally: Dude, you seriously need to lay off the weed.

Stan: There's probably a fire or something. Nothing to get excited over.

Ed: (Looks out the window to see small explosions and Cervantes' crewmates running up and down the streets) It sure doesn't look like a fire, boy, take a look. (The six friends look out the window with him to see the commotion)

Nichole: What is all this?

Ed: It's wild in the streets, that's what this is. Heidi, look the doors, I'll board up the windows! (He looks to see that Heidi and Stan have gone. They've gone to the restaurant's bathroom to change into their personas and emerge ready to kick some ass)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Love to, uncle, but Stan and I have to clean this mess before it gets worse.

Stan/Tool Shed: She's right. We have no time to lose. Sally, Chadwick, Nichole, Brimmy, you four stay here.

Chadwick: (Continues to look out the window) You don't have to tell us twice.

Stan/Tool Shed: Good. We're off.

Ed: Wait, Heidi, my son Dan is still out there somewhere. He said he was going to the beach. I don't know how he's faring in all this chaos, but if you can, please bring him back here safe and sound.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Cousin Dan is out there in this mess. Hmm…(Perks up and gives a happy salute) Okay, can do uncle, meow, meow! (Stan blushes at Heidi's adorableness) We'll be back, come on Stan, to the beach!

Stan/Tool Shed: (Snaps out of it) Oh, right! (The duo leave the restaurant and head for the beach)

(Back on the beach, the 18 saints that are already there are giving it their all to protect the civilians and their classmates from the pirates. Five crewmates are climbing onto the soundstage that Jason, Esther, Bradley, and Bridon are on)

Jason: (Shudders) I don't think these guys are fans of our music.

Esther: (Chuckles nervously) I guess you really can't please everyone. (The crewmates whip out their swords)

Bradley: Come on, guys, can't we talk about this?

Bridon: They're beyond talking. (Picks up his guitar) Looks like violence is the only thing that'll get through to them.

Crewmate #5: Aye, the shaggy one has quite the pair of coconuts on him. Maybe we should cut 'em off!

Crewmate #6: Castration, ho! (The crewmates charge when Apollo and Maria show up to defend the band)

Maria/White Mind Maiden & Apollo/Psychotic Plague: (With an aura around their hands) Psycho Push! (They use psychic energy to push the crewmates away from them)

Bridon: Hey, thanks you two.

(Maria and Apollo, not wanting to blow their cover, give thumbs ups to the band and they head off to another part of the beach to fight more crewmates. On another part of the beach, Dan is getting approached by three crewmates, two with guns and one with a saber)

Dan: No, I'm too pretty to die! (Covers himself as the three pirates advance and get ready to attack)

Butters/Professor Chaos: (Appears behind Dan) Stay away from him! Electro Ball! (Fires balls of electricity at the two crewmates with guns) And I have something special for you, Lightning Spear! (Throws a lightning spear and impales the pirate with a saber through the chest)

Dan: Whoa, that was awesome! (Looks at Professor Chaos to see Butters face) Butters!

Butters/Professor Chaos: That's Professor Chaos to you, Danny boy! Stay low and don't let your guard down, and you should be alright.

Dan: You got it! (Butters goes to fight more crewmates)

(At another part of the beach, Francis begins to record the fights)

Francis: (Recording) Okay so the craziest thing just happened! These pirates just came out the woodworks and starting attack us with all piss and vinegar! As you can see, a majority of the South Park Saints are engaged in heated battle against these mysterious invaders! This is absolute pandemonium!

(Suddenly he hears screaming, it's Nelly Coleman, his girlfriend. She's getting approached by three pirates)

(Nelly is wearing. Her brown hair is tied in two long curly twintails. She's wearing a light green short sleeve one shoulder top, a jean skirt, black leggings, and black shoes)

Francis: Oh shit, Nelly! (He rushes to his girlfriend's aide as we cut to said situation)

Crewmate #7: Yar, har, har. Now who do we have here? A little lassie scared out of here wits? My favorite type of victim.

Crewmate #8: (Holds out his sword) Hey, let me get a lock 'o that hair so I can remember this maiming.

Francis: (Rushes and gets between Nelly and the three pirates) You leave her alone!

Crewmate #7: Oh ho! What have we here?

Crewmate #9: It looks like the brave and noble prince trying to save the day it does! I hate those types of people, yes I do!

Francis: (Holds up his camera) Back away now or I will not hesitate to bash this camera against your skulls!

Nelly: Francis, your $1,000 camera!? You're willing to use it as a weapon to save me?

Francis: (Quickly turns to Nelly) To me, babe, you're worth more than any amount of any form of currency. (Nelly blushes as Francis turns back to the pirates) Alright asshole, come and get it! (The three pirates get ready to fight when…)

Kevin: Rhino Ram!

(He lowers his head to show the rhinoceros horn, and he charges forward. He impales one crewmate, then the second, and then the third)

Kevin: Oh yeah! I got a pirate kabob on my head! (Runs to the volleyball court) Service! (He tosses the three pirates into the air, jumps up and punches them in the face, causing them to fall back on the beach hard) Ha, ha, ha! Me: 3, Pirate: Zip!

Francis: I could've handled that, dude.

Kevin: And destroy that expensive camera? I don't think so lover boy.

(Back near the soundstage, Jimmy, Kal, and Jessie are getting approached by four of Cervantes' crewmates, one with a gun and the other three with swords. It's at that moment when Bradley comes racing in and gets ready to defend his friend and two girlfriends)

Bradley: (Gets in a fighting stance with his drum sticks) Alright, come and get it!

Jimmy: Oh shit! I-I-Is he actually going to t-take these guys on?!

Kal: Bradley, baby, are you crazy!

Jessie: You don't have to do this. Get out of there!

Bradley: Don't worry about me, just run! (Just as the pirates were about to attack Bradley, the likes of Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula step in)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Pick on someone of your own fighting caliber!

Crewmate #10: You four want trouble? You got it! (Fires his gun and the four teens dodge as they get into fight with their respective crewmate)

(As Kurt got into a heated gun fight with Crewmate #10, they kept firing their bullets until the crewmate ran out of his)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Out of ammo, eh? Shame, I was starting to have fun! (Whips out his minigun) Wild Wild Gatling! (He fires his minigun and takes out the crewmate)

(With Red and her crewmate, he kept slashing at her, and Red either dodged the attack or blocked it with her shield. When the crewmate's attack started to slow down, she used this moment to attack)

Red/Madame Knight: Flowmotion, activate! (The disks on the bottom of her boots turn on and she glows a pink aura. She starts spinning around the crewmate who gets dizzy) Blow Off! (She tosses the crewmate a good couple yards into the ocean)

(We cut to Annie with her fight as she whips out her machetes)

Crewmate #11: Time to clip your wings, butterfly! (He swings his sword, and Annie blocks with her machetes) Just fucking die! Nobody likes a persistent bugger like you!

Annie/Darling Dame: You don't like me? Well guess what asshole, I don't like you! (She hooks her machetes together and turns them into a big pair of scissors) Sonic Scissors! (She cuts the crewmate in half, killing him)

(Now we cut to Ursula and her fight. She's dodging a crewmate's slash attacks)

Crewmate #12: Stay still you slippery chink!

(As soon as Ursula heard that, she flew into a rage)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Blossom Storm! (Covers the crewmate in a cloud of blossoms so he couldn't see) Petal Blizzard! (Sharp edged petals fly out of her kimono sleeves and cut up the crewmate from inside the blossom storm. When the blossom cloud dissipated the crewmate is all cut up and trying to get his bearing straight when Ursula comes at him) Razor Fan!

(Ursula swings one of her blades downward, which the crewmate blocks…but he didn't take into account her second one, which impales him in the stomach. The crewmate falls on the ground and begins to bleed out. Ursula looks at him and says…)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: By the way, I'm Japanese not Chinese. Learn your ethnicities, barnacle breath! (Spits in his face as she leaves to find more mooks to fight)

(At another part of the beach, Terrance Mephesto is surrounded by seven crewmates, swords ready to slash at him)

Terrance M: There is no way you barbarians are getting those swords anywhere near me! Are they even clean? And for fuck's sakes, you smell like barnacles and sea salt! If you're going to kill me, at least have the decency to use proper hygiene. I don't want my delicate corpse to reek of a porpoise.

(It's at this moment when Tweek, Craig, Millie, and Token enter the scene)

Tweek/Peppy Prince: Terrance is in trouble!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (His boom box morphs into arm cannons) We've got to help.

Millie: Hold on guys, let's think about this. Terrance is about to get killed, he's kind of a dick. This can be karma for him. I say we ignore him and move on. (Craig, Tweek, and Token just look at her) Fine let's save him!

Token/Tupper Wear: (Takes out his sniper rifle, cocks it, and aims it for one of the pirate's heads) Alright then, let's do it! Tupper Sniper! (Fires a shot and blows the crewmate's head off, catching the other six's attention)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: You assholes have the wrong target! It's us you want! (The six crewmates charge at the four heroes, two attack Tweek, two others attack Craig, and the other two attack Millie)

Millie: Token, get Terrance to safety…even though I really wish you wouldn't.

Token/Tupper Wear: Already on it! (He walks up to Terrance and takes him to a safe place)

Terrrance M: 'Bout time you come and save the day.

Token/Tupper Wear: Just shut up and follow me (They leave).

Tweek/Peppy Prince: (Sees his two crewmate about to slash at him with their swords) Pom-Pom Wrap! (The pom-pom strings wrap around the two crewmates and he throws them far into the ocean as we cut to Craig's fight)

Crewmate #13: (He gets his gun ready as does his partner) Say bye bye, landlubber! FIRE!

Craig/DJ C-Rage: (His boombox arm cannons turn into a shield in the shape of a whole note) Whole Shield! (The shots bounce off of the shield and hit the two crewmates in the legs) Take this! (He knocks the two crewmates unconscious as he whacks them with the shield. It's at this moment when we cut to Millie's fight)

Crewmate #14: RAAAAHH! (Swings his sword down at Millie who blocks the attack with her two shotguns)

Millie: Take this, blubber butt! (Kicks the crewmate in the testicles and knocks him unconscious with the butt of her shotgun)

Crewmate #15: Aye, you'll pay for that! (Takes out his gun and fires, but before the bullet could reach Millie, she picks up the unconscious body of the other crewmate and uses him as a human shield) Oh no, Swanson!

Millie: (Points her shotguns at the crewmates chest) Don't worry, you'll see him again soon. (The crewmate gasps) Righteous Shot! (Blasts the crewmate in the chest)

(Now we cut to Sam and Wendy fighting a group of crewmates)

Wendy/Fucshia Tigress: Raging Kick! (She kicks one of the crewmates so far he goes flying into the ocean. It's then that she sees three more crewmates charge at her with swords) Wrath of the Tigress! (She launches a big fireball at them and incinerates them. It's at this moment when another crewmate appears behind her and aims his gun at her. He fires and Sam appears to block the bullet)

Sam/Sir Justice: Testaburger Scarf! (The scarf comes to life, and sends the bullet back at the crewmate, killing him. It's at this moment when two more crewmates come at Sam swords swinging) You want some too? Okay, take this! Murciélago Magic! (Fires red, bat shaped energy blasts from his palms, taking the two crew mates out) God it feels so good to whoop some bad guys!

(Suddenly, Sam and Wendy find themselves surrounded by a bunch of crewmates pointing their guns at them)

Crewmate #16: Make one move and ye shall have more holes in yer bodies than the swissest of cheeses. (Wendy gets another fireball ready while Sam gets his boomerang ready) Ready, aim…(Suddenly, he hears the sound of a bell ringing) What be this?

(It's Kelly Rutherford-Menskin riding a bike/ice cream vending cart hybrid, she mows down the crewmates that are about to shoot at Sam and Wendy, knocking them out)

Kelly RM: The ice cream man is town, mother lover! (Grabs a bomb pop from within the cart) What did you think of my kick ass one liner, Sammy baby.

Sam: (Looks on in shock as does Wendy) I've heard better. (Goes back to kicking ass with Wendy)

Kelly RM: (Shrugs her shoulders and takes a bite out of her bomb pop) GAH, BRAIN FREEZE! (Falls off the vending cart)

(We then cut to more ships landing on the beach, as Bridgette and Clyde look on)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Sees more ships coming) Clyde, take out those ships that are on their way now. I'll handle these other fools.

Clyde/Mosquito: Aye, aye, babe. (Chuckles) Get it, because when pirates receive orders they respond by saying, "aye…"

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Yes I get it, just come on! (Charges into battle as Clyde flies out to the sea to stop the coming ships. With Bridgette, she is sees a horde of pirates coming right at her) Sorry, boys, the beach is closed today! (Her 10 rings glow) Holy Burst! (Fires a burst of energy from the rings, taking the pirates out)

Clyde/Mosquito: (Flies above the coming fleet of ships, it's then he takes out a whole load of black mosquito robots) Mosquito Mob: Bomb Rush! (The black mosquito robots fly down at the fleet) Fly my pretties, fly! WAHAHAHAHAHAHAH! (The bomb mosquitoes attach themselves to the ships and they blow up, destroying them all. With the ships destroyed, Clyde flies back to the beach to help Bridgette)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Bountiful Bow! (Gets into a struggle with a crewmate and his sword, but he overpowers her and pushes her back)

Crewmate #17: (Whips out gun) Say yer prayers, wench! (Fires it, but Bridgette whips out one of her cymbals, and the bullet bounced off it and nails the crewmate right in the neck)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Oh yeah! (Suddenly she hears a whistling noise, and a cannonball is coming right at her) Oh no!

Clyde/Mosquito: (From above) Mosquito Mob: Lazer League! (The white mosquito robots fire lazers and take the cannonball out before it could reach Bridgette)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: (Looks up at Clyde) Nice work!

Clyde/Mosquito: Don't thank me yet! We've still got a lot of trash to clean off this beach!

Bridgette/Singing Angel: That's right. (Gets her violin bow ready) Let's do this! (Charges into battle along with Clyde)

(At long last we cut to Cody and Bebe, who are fighting the good fight against the crewmates. While brawling however, Cody decides to get the truth about Bebe's past from her)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Blasting some faraway crewmates with Fantasia of Riches) You know, sweetie, this is a rather dangerous situation we've found ourselves in. Heaven forbid we die here and now, it'd be shame if we did so holding in secrets. Any last minute things you want to tell me?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Gets into a sword fight with one of the crewmates) Nope, nothing comes to mind, honey. (Pushes the crewmate back and throws a knife into his throat)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Are you sure? (Blocks a crewmate's scimitar with his staff before impaling him with his katana) Nothing that you may have been hiding in the back of your mind for, say, ten years now?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Babe, I don't know what you're talking about. (Tosses a Shocking Shuriken and looks back at Cody) Honest. (Blinks twice)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Really? (Whacks a crewmate with the ruby on his staff) Then let me ask you something, does…(Sees a crewmate running at Bebe) Could you duck down real quick?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Sure. (Ducks down so Cody could fire a Fantasia of Riches attack at the crewmate)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Thank you. Anyway, does the Cutest Boy List ring a few bells?

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: (Gasp) Cody, how'd you know about that? (Tosses one of her swords at a crewmate)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Gets into a struggle with another crewmate) Terrance Mephesto told me. I don't get it, Bebe, I've told you everything about me: Where I come from, what I've done, who I am, and then some. You shouldn't be afraid to tell me these things, babe.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: I was afraid you'd leave me. (Drop kicks a crewmate that's coming right at her)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: (Finishes blocking some bullets with his Fortune Bubble) We'll discuss this more later. Right now, let's focus on not being on the pointy end of the scimitar.

(As the 18 heroes are fighting the crewmates, and trying to save as many civilians as possible, Craig looks to see more crewmates rushing the boardwalk and town)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: Yo, some of those clam eating sons of bitches are heading for the boardwalk! (Sees that a crewmate is coming to punch him in the face) Boom Bop! (Knocks the crewmate out with his armored hands)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: That's where the rest of our friends are! (Dodges a bullet from another crewmate)

Sam/Sir Justice: I think Stan and Heidi have their gear. (Turns to Kurt, Annie, Ursula, and Red and tosses a duffle bag towards them, which Kurt catches) Find Cartman, Kyle, and Kenny! That has their gear! Tell them to suit up and meet us down here when they've taken out the crewmates on the boardwalk!

Red/Madame Knight: You got it, Sam! (The four of them head into the boardwalk, which is where we cut to…)

(On the boardwalk, Ace, Blaze, Carmel, and Inkwell are shooting at a small group of crewmates as they're firing back. Kyle, Kenny, Cartman, and Lola are trying to fight back by throwing pieces of trash at them)

Crewmate #18: Just hand those saints over, and we won't be forced to hurt ye!

Ace: Back off yo! You want these cool cats over here so bad, you'll have to go through us!

Cartman: Yeah, fuck off! (Tosses a used syringe into the eye of one of the crewmates)

Crewmate #18: Ye have done it now! (Fires a bullet and Cartman dodges) This be getting us nowhere, me buckos! What's say we light up their lives! (The rest of his crew cheers as he pulls out a bottle of whisky with a rag in it. He then lights the rag up)

Kyle: Shit! He has a Molotov!

Crewmate #18: Yar, har, har! Say hello to Satan for me! (Before he's able to throw it, an arrow is shot at it and it gets stuck in the bottle) Eh? (The bottle cracks some more and it explodes on the crewmates, catching the eight off guard, and they turn behind them to find Kurt, Annie, Red, and Ursula)

Red/Madame Knight: I love the smell of grilled pirate in the morning.

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Smells like chicken.

Kenny: Alright, guys!

Kyle: Thanks, we totally owe you one!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Don't mention it! (Tosses Kyle, Kenny, and Cartman the duffle bag) Time to gear up.

Annie/Darling Dame: Yeah, let's send these pirates back to the sea where they belong!

(Kyle, Cartman, and Kenny suit up just as three more pirates show up)

Cartman/Coon: Let us handle this. (Looks at Kyle and Kenny) You bitches ready?

Kyle/Human Kite: Mmm-hmm

Kenny/Mysterion: Let's party! (The trio charge into battle)

Cartman/Coon: (Goes up to a buff looking pirate and he takes out his cleaver) Rodent's Cleaver! (Cuts the crewmate on the stomach and kicks him away)

Crewmate #19: (Takes out his gun) Take this! (He shoots it at Kyle, who dodges)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon! (Fires a harpoon from the top of his kite and impales the crewmate)

Crewmate #20: (Points at Kenny) You're mine mystery boy! (Charges at him with a sword)

Kenny/Mysterion: Guess now is a good a time as any to try this bad boy out. (He randomly pulls out a black sword with golden hilt and a green question mark on it) En Garde!

(The pirate and Kenny clash swords multiple times. Kenny dodges one of the pirate's slashes and he points his sword right at him)

Kenny/Mysterion: Sword of Wonder! (Fires a beam from his sword that blasts the pirate away. Once the pirate is gone, Kenny looks at his new sword) Heh, Sophocles, I fucking love you!

Ace: Very impressive you! I knew you cats was the real deal!

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Looks at Kyle) Kyle, who are these guys?

Kyle/Human Kite: We'll explain later.

BOOM!

Carmel: Oh, what now, dude?!

(They all look to see a pirate that is piloting a 10 ft tall wooden mecha)

Mecha Crewmate: Yar! How ye like me now?

Ace: Carmel, Inkwell, Blaze, let loose yo! (The four of them fire shots from their guns)

Annie/Darling Dame: Bullets of the Rising Sun! (Fires her bullets from her uzis)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires his gatling gun)

(The bullets are hitting the wooden mecha, but they aren't doing anything to it.)

Mecha Crewmate: Absolutely pitiful, yar! Have a taste of this! (The right arm of the mech is a cannon that fires a cannon ball) Fire in the hole! (The cannon ball is about to hit the six when)

Kyle/Human Kite: 1,000 Degree Stare! (Fires heat beams that melts the cannon ball in mid air, much to the chagrin of the crewmate. It's then he sees Cartman making his move)

Cartman/Coon: (Takes out his RPG) Racoon Rocket! (Fires a rocket that the crewmate catches with the mecha's left arm, and he throws it aside) That's impossible!

Mecha Crewmate: On the contrary, you little rascal, I'd say it's highly possible!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: I've had enough of your bullshit! Blossom Storm! (Blossoms fly out of her sleeves and envelop the crewmate) Okay, Red, Kenny, he's all yours.

Red/Madame Knight: (Takes out her sword) Thanks, love.

Kenny/Mysterion: Appreciate it! (Takes out his sword and the two charge into the blossom storm to fight the crewmate. Everyone else hears swords clang, hits being thrown… all leading up to Red and Kenny being thrown out of the blossom storm and knocked on their asses)

Red/Madame Knight: That could've gone better.

Mecha Crewmate: (Blows the blossoms away and holds out his cannon arm) Argh! I expected more of challenge from the ones who bested Satan's seven other advocates. How unfortunately disappointing. Oh well, time to die!

(The heroes brace themselves for a cannon shot when)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Kitty's Claws!

SLASH!

(The mecha's cannon is cut off. The crewmate piloting it sees Heidi waving innocently at the crewmate)

Mecha Crewmate: What be this?

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer! (Swings his sledge hammer and it hits the crew mate so hard he goes flying into a wall. It's then he takes out his power drill) Drill Launcher! (Fires a drill bit and it hits the crewmate right between the eyes, killing him)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: Alright, guys!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Hope you all didn't get too lonely without us! Meow, meow!

Cartman/Coon: It was all cool, Heidi. But man, are we glad you showed up when you did.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: So, what's the plan now?

Stan/Tool Shed: Heidi and I took out a good sum of the crewmates here on the boardwalk. But I'm willing to bet that there's still a few lurking around here.

Carmel: So you're saying there might be more of those barnacle brains are still running around like they own the place?

Stan/Tool Shed: What did I just say?

Ace: Guess it's time to lock and load yo!

Lola: I'll help out anyway I can!

Kenny/Mysterion: No, Lola! It's too dangerous. I'll guide you to safety.

Lola: (Blushes) Thanks…Kenny.

Kenny/Mysterion: What are friends for? (Lola pouts a little at the thought of her and Kenny being just friends)

Ursula/Samurai of Light: (Turns to Ace, Carmel, Blaze, and Inkwell) This is no place for you four to be either.

Red/Madame Knight: We've got to get you four to safety as well.

Blaze: You kidding us, yo? We thrive on the thrill of this kind of thing.

Annie/Darling Dame: Not to be rude, but you should go with them.

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Leave the pirate killing to the professionals.

Cartman/Coon: We can't have innocent civilians get hurt or killed on our watch. Especially if they're a group of badasses that we just met.

Ace: Have it your way, yo! Just don't do anything we wouldn't do.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: No promises, meow!

Kenny/Mysterion: Good luck, everyone, make the South Park Saints proud. (He, Lola, Red, Ursula, Ace, Blaze, Carmel, and Inkwell leave)

Stan/Tool Shed: Alright, let's do this!

(Epic fight montage time! Fight 1: Heidi and Stan vs five crewmates)

Crewmate #21: Yar, there be those scurvy saints! Get 'em! (They charge)

Stan/Tool Shed: Hectic Hammer!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Paw Pummel!

(They smash and punch the crewmates so hard they go flying into a nearby carnival game. The five crewmates emerge with clown make-up on their faces when Heidi and Stan show up)

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Golly, my favorite carnival game! Shoot the ugly clown face! (Takes out her gun as Stan's hammer cannon opens up) Rabid Rapid Fire!

Stan/Tool Shed: Hammer Cannon! (The attacks make the game explode, killing the five crewmates in the process)

(Fight 2: Kyle and Annie vs. Crewmates on a Drop Tower and Ferris Wheel)

Kyle/Human Kite: Annie! You take the Ferris Wheel, I'll take the drop tower!

Annie/Darling Dame: Sounds like a plan. (The two separate)

(We first cut to Kyle who staring at the Drop Tower ride. At the top are a group of crew mates who are using the ride to snipe out any innocents they see)

Crewmate #22: Look down there! (Points at Kyle who is looking right at them)

Crew mate #23: It's one of those saints! Shoot, boys! (The crewmates shoot at Kyle, who flies fast at the Drop Tower, dodging all of the bullets. When he arrives, he gets to the control panel)

Kyle/Human Kite: Let's go for a ride! (Flips a switch and the ride goes down. The crewmates scream their lungs out) You like that, assholes? Here! (Flips the switch back up, and the ride goes up fast) Whoops! (Flips the switch again and the ride goes back down)

(Kyle keeps the pace up until the crewmates go flying off of the ride)

Kyle/Human Kite: Kite Harpoon! (Fires multiple harpoons impaling all of the crew mates)

(Meanwhile, at the Ferris Wheel, a bunch of crew mates are trying to do the same thing: Using the ride's baskets as a perch for them to snipe. It's then they see Annie waving at them innocently)

Annie/Darling Dame: Hello boys! Lovely day at the carnival isn't it! (Takes out her guns and her butterfly wings start glowing. The crewmates know they're screwed) Bullets of the Rising Sun! Butterfly Maelstrom!

(Annie opens fire on the crewmates and takes just about all of them out. There's one left on the top basket. The crewmate tries shooting at her, but she dodges and flies upward)

Annie/Darling Dame: I hope this works. Cocoon Crash! (Her butterfly wings envelop her forming a hard shell, and she crashes into the basked, knocking the sniper off, and he falls to the ground to his death)

(Fight #3: Kurt vs Crewmates on a roller coaster)

(Kurt is perched on a light post near a roller coaster. He sees the coaster coming up with a group of crewmates on it)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Ah, my ride's here! (Jumps onto the front of the roller coaster, causing the crewmates to gasp) Howdy, boys! You must be this evil to go on Smith the Kid's Wild Ride! No refunds! Radiant Revolver!

(Kurt starts firing at the pirates. Some of them get hit while others duck down from his shots and return fire from their own guns)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Miss me! Miss me! Now you gotta kiss my AGH!

(He flies to the back because the roller coaster is going over a loop. Kurt grabs on to the back of the rear car of the coaster and pulls himself back on as the loop ended)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: Now, where were we? (Takes out his gatling gun) Wild Wild Gatling! (Fires multiple rounds killing the remaining crewmates)

(Fight #4: Cartman vs. A crewmate)

(Cartman is in a fist fight with a buff crewmate)

Cartman/Coon: (Panting)

Crewmate #24: Let's go, rodent! I've fished up starfish stronger than you.

Cartman/Coon: (Growls and charges) Fuck you!

(Cartman pushes the crewmate into the Round Up ride. However, the crewmate accidently flips the switch for the ride so it activates just as he and Cartman enter)

Crewmate #24: Catch me if you can, rodent!

(Cartman pursues the crewmate on the spinning Round Up ride. It's like two people trying to chase each other on a treadmill)

Crewmate #24: You can't catch me! I can keep this up all day long!

Cartman/Coon: (Stops running and lets the Round Up take him)

Crewmate #24: What!? (Looks to see Cartman coming at him with his cleaver and he beheads the crewmate)

(As the six of them clean up the boardwalk, the rest of the Saints try and clean up the beach. It gets to the point where the crewmates retreat back to their ships, seeing the unwinnable situation they're in)

Craig/DJ C-Rage: We got them on the run now, guys! (Fires his arm cannons) Don't let any of them get away!

(Too late! The last of the ships left the shore. Sam looks ready to dive into the ocean and give chase)

Sam/Sir Justice: You get back here bastards!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam! Watch out!

Sam/Sir Justice: (Looks up to see Captain Alejandro Cervantes coming down out of nowhere in an attempt to stomp on him. Sam dodges just in time and sees who the last advocate is) That leg cannon, that sword arm…could it be!

Cervantes: (Looks at Sam) So we finally meet, Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Ecstatic) Oh my God! Captain Alejandro Cervantes!

Cervantes: (Confused at his reaction) Eh? What's this?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to his friends) Guys, guys, do you know who this is?!

Token/Tupper Wear: A crusty old pirate that smells like rotten lemons?

Cervantes: (Overhears the comment) I'm not about to get scurvy, especially now! (Pulls out a lemon from his pocket and eats it)

(It's at this moment when the group of 14 from the boardwalk come to the beach and join the rest of the group)

Sam/Sir Justice: Everyone, this is Captain Alejandro Cervantes: One of my childhood heroes.

Butters/Professor Chaos: This advocate was a hero of yours, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Starts fanboying) Oh hell yeah! Between the ages of 4-8, I had an obsession with pirates! I always borrowed pirate books from the library, watched the Pirates of the Caribbean movies all the time, and watched documentaries on T.V. Especially documentaries about this majestic man! I'd stay up late on Friday nights watching Cervantes documentaries and movies until I'd fall asleep in front of the T.V and my parents had to carry me off to bed. I dressed up as him on Halloween one time.

Cervantes: Huh?

Sam/Sir Justice: Mr. Cervantes, I thought it was really cool how you constructed that leg cannon and that sword hand after you lost it when a whale rammed into your ship. (Whines) Why do you have to be the last advocate, you're so cool. Hey, look, look, I know we're enemies and all but could you sign my gun? My gauntlets? My mask? My scarf? Anything! Was it true that you were frozen for over 500 years? How did you get out? What was it like?

Cervantes: SHUT UP! (Backhands Sam who goes flying to his group of friends)

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Sam, you okay?

Sam/Sir Justice: I just got hit by Alejandro Cervantes! (Smiles) I'll never forget this day.

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Sam, how can you fanboy over this swashbuckling scumbag. He's the bad guy!

Ursula/Samurai of Light: You don't understand. Sam has had an obsession with this guy long before he became Sir Justice.

Sam/Sir Justice: I even considered changing my moniker at one point from Sir Justice to Captain Justice: A pirate themed hero. But then I played Kingdom Hearts Birth by Sleep, worried I'd face legal problems, it was really more trouble than it was worth.

Cervantes: (Clears throat) You seem to know a lot about me, Sir Justice. But if you don't mind, I'd like it if I told you all me back story myself.

Sam/Sir Justice: By all means, sir, go ahead.

Cervantes: Very well.

Flashback time:

(Shot #1: The year was 1513. Cervantes and his crewmates are wrecking havoc in small seaside villages and raiding shipping boats)

Cervantes (v.o): Me loyal crew and I made an honest living off of pillaging, squandering, and overall ultra violence. We'd take all of the goods those fools had to offer: Gold, food, women! Life was good for us all.

(Shot #2: Cervantes and his fleet are sailing along the Arctic Circle in search of something. A huge blizzard is blowing through)

Cervantes (v.o): But one fateful day, we heard form an anonymous source that there were islands of gold along the Arctic Circle. We just couldn't pass an opportunity like this up. Unfortunately for us, Mother Nature was a cruel mistress.

(Shot #3: Some of the crewmates have gotten sick and died, everyone else however is encased in ice, frozen for the next 500 years)

Cervantes (v.o): Hypothermia killed a bit more than a handful of us. They were the lucky ones. The survivors were encased in an icy prison for 500 years. I was aware of everything that was happening. I couldn't move or speak. I was going absolutely insane. The only other thought I had was how me loyal crew were faring in our frozen bondage.

(Shot #4: Fast forward 500 years later, Cervantes sees a shadowy figure come up to the huge ice block and he and his men are trapped in)

Cervantes (v.o): However, when everything seemed bleak for us, a mysterious figure came up and cast a huge fire spell, melting the ice and freeing us from our cold crypts. I looked up and it was Satan himself! He told me that he observed me and me crew's misdeeds all that time ago. He said that his little boy was in trouble deep, and he needed me and my crew's help. I accepted this offer. After all, it was the least I could do for him saving us all.

End flashback

Cervantes: And that be the whole story, lads and lasses.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Claps his hands) Even more beautiful and heart wrenching when told by you.

Cervantes: I'd be flattered by you if I didn't despise you with every fiber of me being. Anyway, we must do battle right here and now! But first, what's say we make this a tad bit interesting. (Snaps his fingers)

(As soon as Cervantes snaps his finger, cages come from nowhere and lock up all of the South Park Saints sans for Wendy and Sam. The non-saint characters, Kelly R.M, Bridon, Esther, Bradley, Jason, Dan, Ace, Carmel, Inkwell, Blaze, Lola, Francis, Nelly, Jimmy, Kal, Jessie, and Terrance Mephesto jump out of the way so they don't get captured as well. The 16 go and hide somewhere so they don't get noticed)

Clyde/Mosquito: What the…Let us out of here Captain Jerk-Off Sparrow!

Annie/Darling Dame: Hang on, guys! I can save us! (Puts her machetes together to make scissors) Sonic Scissors!

(Annie tries to cut the bars on the cage she's in…but as soon as her scissors make contact with the bars, they blow her back)

Kurt/Smith the Kid: (Catches her) Are you alright, babe?

Annie/Darling Dame: What was that?!

Cervantes: Aye, Satan's patented indestructible cage! 'Tis a beautiful thing!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: You and I have very different definitions of beauty, captain! Let our friends go, before Sam and I rip that cannon right off your leg. (Looks at Sam) Right, Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Still fanboying)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: SAM!

Sam/Sir Justice: But he's so cool!

Cervantes: I'd watch your mouth, little girl. Look who I have over on me ship. (Points at his ship as it pulls up on shore. Some crewmates drag Kelly PT, Doug, Jeffrey, Sophocles, Mephesto, Leon, and Alex Slave on deck so Sam and Wendy could see them)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Shocked) Is that Leon…and Mr. Slave too?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Oh no, dad!

Bebe/Sharp Edge Stevens: Daddy…

Cody/Mr. Gentleman: Uncle…

Terrance M: (Hidden) Father, what?

Bridon: (Hidden) PT….

Cervantes: Now then, here's what shall happen me little landlubbers. You two and me, we engage in combat. You win, I let your friends go, I go peacefully to the brig, and me loyal crew shall disappear never to bother ye again.

Sam/Sir Justice: That's all we ever wanted.

Cervantes: However, if I win then you and your friends shall meet the grizzliest of deaths and our attack shall commence. What do ye say? Sounds like a fair wager, no?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Gets in fighting stance) Bring it! We're not scared of you, are we Sam? (Looks over at Sam with a raised brow)

Sam/Sir Justice: Okay, we'll fight him. I just got to pretend that Cervantes is someone I hate. Maybe grumpy Mr. Henderson from next door back in Houston, the old dude and I never really did see eye to eye.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: There you go.

Cervantes: Well now, we have a real rumble on our hands. (Snaps his fingers and the crewmates take PT, Doug, Jeffrey, Mephesto, Sophocles, Alex Slave, and Leon back below deck) Can't have them witness any bloodshed now can we?

Kyle/Human Kite: (Sarcastically) But us witnessing it is a-okay.

Cervantes: SILENCE! It's time, Fuchsia Tigress, Sir Justice. Time to face the music!

Sam/Sir Justice: Let's go! (He charges at Cervantes) Red's Blade! (Takes out his lightsaber which Cervantes blocks with his sword hand. The two of them clash multiple times before entering a struggle when Wendy jumps up from behind Sam)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Raging Kick! (Kicks Cervantes in the face, knocking him down. He gets back up)

Cervantes: I say, lassie, your feet smell nice.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: That's because unlike you, I shower every day.

Sam/Sir Justice: Speaking of which, it's bathtime! Cody's Speed Boots! (Sam runs fast and tackles Cervantes out into the ocean)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam!

(Underwater, Sam throws a punch at Cervantes' face, and he responds by punching Sam in the face. Sam then activates Testaburger Scarf, wrapping Cervantes up and throwing him down to the ocean floor. Sam uses Cody's Speed Boots to swim down to him. Cervantes uses his cannon leg to fire cannon balls at Sam, who takes out his giant fidget spinner. He spins it, and creates a cyclone that the cannon balls get trapped in. Once the cyclone stops, the cannon balls go flying back to Cervantes who dodges out of the way and swims towards Sam. Sam fires his Murcielago Magic attack that Cervantes dodges. When he gets close to Sam, Cervantes puts his cannon close to Sam and fires a cannonball, sending him flying out of the ocean and back to the shore)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Cough) Ow!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Are you alright Sam?

Sam/Sir Justice: I'm lucky he didn't puncture one of my lungs.

Cervantes: (Jumps out of the ocean and lands in front of Wendy and Sam) Please, mate, if I wanted to puncture you lung you'd know it. Now take this! (Aims his cannon leg at the two) Cannonball Crusher!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress! (Fires a fireball at the cannonball, destroying it)

Sam/Sir Justice: Kenny's Boomerang! (Throws the boomerang and hits Cervantes in the face, making him dizzy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Get ready, Long John Silver! Wildfire Smackdown! (Punches Cervantes a few times)

Cervantes: I say, you're annoying! (Grabs Wendy by her face and lifts her off the ground)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: (Muffled) Put me down, you moron! Ugh! I can't see!

Cervantes: (Gets his sword hand ready to impale her) It's better you don't see what I'm about to do to you, lassie.

Sam/Sir Justice: Ursula's Whip! (Wraps the whip around Cervantes' throat, causing him to gag and choke and let go of Wendy) I wonder what that special power Ursula used in this whip is. (Clicks the button and it electrifies the whip, shocking Cervantes) Awesome! (He releases Cervantes who falls to his knees) Done yet, Captain Crook?

Cervantes: I'm just getting started matey! (Uses his cannon as a sort of rocket so he flies toward Wendy and Sam, and he clotheslines them, knocking them on the ground) Yar, har, har! How ye like them apples, eh?

Wendy Fuchsia Tigress: Damn, how much punishment can this guy take?

Sam/Sir Justice: Everyone has a limit, Wendy. I have a feeling we're close to reaching his. Let's keep whittling him down! (He and Wendy charge forward, as the non-Saint characters watch the ensuing beach brawl)

Francis: (Recording the fight) Sam and Wendy are good…but Cervantes knows how to take abuse.

Kelly R.M: I don't know how much more my Sammy can take.

Esther: Sam's been up against tougher. Justin was certainly no pushover, but he got the job done with that sleaze bucket.

Sally: (Coming up) He wouldn't have beaten him if you haven't helped him out.

(Everyone turns to see Sally, Chadwick, Brimmy, and Nichole coming up to them)

Jimmy: Hey W-Wha-What's up?

Chadwick: We heard the chaos subsiding outside so we took it as a sign that everything is safe. (Looks over at the fight) I guess it's not so much over here.

Ace: No way, yo, those two are locked in fierce combat with that big bad pirate, yo!

Bradley: There's got to be something we can do to help them out. But what?

Bridon: I don't know about you, but I say we help by boarding Cervantes' ship and freeing PT, Mr. Testaburger, and the rest of them.

Nichole: Have you lost your mind, Bridon? It's suicide.

Brimmy: Yeah, dude. I know a bad idea when I see one…that's because I come up with a lot of them. (Laughs)

Bridon: Well, it's better than sitting here and doing nothing.

Jason: Well, doing nothing is better than getting killed, and I don't know if you haven't noticed but we're not skilled combatants like those guys.

Bridon: I think we're all stronger than we give ourselves credit for. I think we should go and save our friends. It'll be one less thing the saints have to worry about.

Lola: Bridon's right! If we stick together, I'm confident that we can succeed!

Chadwick: Hell yeah!

Sally: Let's do it!

Jimmy: C-C-Count me in!

Terrance Mephesto: Very well. I guess we all die sooner or later.

Inkwell: Rock n' roll and lock and load. We're all in.

Dan: (Cracks his knuckles) Time to become a hero!

Bridon: So we're all in then? (The other 19 nod their heads)

Kelly R.M: (Takes out the captured one's gear) I got Mr. Testaburger, Mr. Stevens, Sophocles, Leon, and Mr. Slave's gear right here.

Nelly: That was fast.

Kelly R.M: Yeah, I was rummaging through the duffle bag to see if Sam had a spare costume that I can sleep with tonight and it was buried underneath all of their gear.

(Everyone gives her strange looks)

Bradley: What is wrong with you woman?

Bridon: Alright, let's get on that boat! Follow me!

(Bridon leads the way and they try and get to the boat. Cervantes, mid-fight with Wendy and Sam, notice and tries to stop them)

Cervantes: Ho, now! Where do ye think you're going! (Aims his cannonball leg at the group)

Dan: Shit! Go, go, go, go, go!

Cervantes: Say your prayers, kiddies! DOH!

(Cervantes just got uppercuted by Wendy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: This doesn't concern them, asshole. This is between you and us.

Cervantes: It doesn't matter much. Even if I fail to kill them, me ship be crawling with me loyal crew. They don't stand a ghost of chance. Yar, har, har!

(We cut to Cervantes' ship where the 20 non-saint characters are hiding in or behind crates or barrels. They look to see that the main deck is indeed crawling with loads of crewmates)

Nichole: There's pirates everywhere.

Ace: We're behind enemy lines now, yo!

Francis: (Spots double doors) I bet those doors lead below deck where they're being held.

Nelly: How are we going to get past all these guards?

Jessie: Not to mention there's a pirate in a crow's nest up there that'll definitely spot us if we move.

Terrance M: I have an idea. What's in those crates?

Francis: (Digs through them) Looks like a bunch of metal and some wood. I want to guess that these materials are meant to make more weapons.

Terrance M: Perfect. (Takes some of the materials and quickly makes a sniper rifle with them)

Chadwick: That's amazing! How did you know how to make a sniper that quickly, let alone at all?

Terrance M: (Loads a rusty nail into the sniper) You're forgetting that I'm a genius. (Holds up the sniper and aims it at the pirate in the crow's nest) One shot, one kill! (He pulls the trigger and the nail hits the pirate in the head, killing him. The other pirates start to get suspicious)

Crewmate #25: Keep your ears peeled mates. I think some rats wandered onto the ship if you catch my meaning. (The crewmates get their weapons ready and two of them guard the doors to get below deck)

Esther: Great, now what?

Terrance M: I can handle this. (Looks at Ace, Carmel, Blaze, and Inkwell) You four have guns?

Ace: What's it to you, yo?

Terrance M: Give them here. (The four do as they're told and Terrance makes some suppressors for their guns and his sniper) You four and me, we're taking these patrolling pirates out stealthily.

Carmel: Kick ass, dude.

Terrance M: Alright, you lot, let's make it rain! (He and the four gun slinging beach goers take out the patrolling pirates until only the guards are left)

Inkwell: Well, that's that.

Chadwick: Now we just got to figure out a way to get those two guards away from the door.

Francis: My camera is pretty sturdy. I can knock one of them out with this.

Dan: (Takes out a plank of wood) I found this plank of wood. Maybe we can get those two to come over by using a distraction.

Brimmy: I have this spare blunt. (Takes a marijuana blunt out of his pocket and a lighter) I can throw it over there, and the scent will entice one of the guards to come over and investigate. That's when Francis and knock him into next week.

Francis: Wow, Brimmy, that was actually kind of smart. I'm impressed.

Bridon: Jason, Bradley, Esther, and I will sing to get our distraction. And Dan, that's when you hit him over the head with that plank.

Dan: Genius I say!

Esther: As for the rest of you, just hide. We'll call you when the coast is clear.

Jason: Alright, places everyone, let's do it! (Everyone gets into position)

(We cut to the two pirates who are standing guard duty. One is picking his teeth with his sword while the other is just yawning and scratching his stomach it's then they hear singing)

Bridon: (Singing) I could just sit around making music all day long. As long as I'm making my music ain't gonna do nobody no harm.

Crewmate #26: What's that noise?

Esther: And who knows maybe I'll come up with a song to make people want to stop all this fussing and fighting long enough to sing along.

Crewmate #27: Go check it out. (The other guard goes to investiage)

Bridon, Esther, Jason, and Bradley: I believe in music, I believe in love. I believe in music, I believe in love.

(The crewmate finds the four singing and gets mad)

Bradley: Oh, hello!

Crewmate #26: (Gets his sword ready)

Dan: And goodbye! (Whacks the crewmate over the head, knocking him out)

(Back with the other guard, he stops hearing the singing)

Crewmate #27: Bart must've taken care of whatever was singing because I don't hear nothing no more. Why isn't he coming back though? (It's then he smells something) What be that ghastly smell? (He takes out his sword and goes to investigate the smell. When he arrives to the source, he finds Brimmy's blunt) Well what have we here?

Francis: (Clears his throat and the guard turns in his direction) Hi. (Points at his camera) This is your brain. And this is your brain on drugs! (Whacks the crewmate with his camera, knocking him out) Any questions?

Brimmy: Alright, dudes, the coast is clear. (Everyone comes out of hiding)

Francis: (Looks at his camera) Awesome, not even a scratch.

Bridon: (Takes out some keys) Our guard had these keys on him.

Jimmy: They must be the keys to where those guys are being held.

Chadwick: Right. Come on guys, we have no time to lose!

(The group of two hurry to the door that leads below deck, they open it and then…)

Crewmate #28: Surprise mother…!

THWACK!

Jimmy: (After knocking out the crewmate with one of his crutches) F-F-Fucker!

Bradley: Damn, that was a solid hit.

Jessie: I could be wrong, but I think you killed him.

Jimmy: Good. Well, what are we waiting for, let's go.

Ace: My crew and I will stay out here and guard, yo. In case reinforcements come.

Dan: I'll stay behind too.

Terrance M: I as well.

Kal: Suit yourselves. Let's go! (The other 14 go below deck)

(Below deck, the 15 quietly walk in search of the cell that's holding Kelly PT and the 6 captive saints)

Nichole: God this place is giving me the creeps.

Jessie: Tell me about it.

Chadwick: Stay focused, everyone. The sooner we find them, the sooner we can leave. (As they kept walking, a crewmate crosses their path)

Bridon: Get down! (Him and the 14 duck and hide behind some crates) Do you think he saw us?

Kal: (Looks out from her hiding place) No, he's still standing there.

Brimmy: Like, we've got to find a way to get passed him.

Chadwick: Let me handle that. (Comes out of hiding and begins to sneak up on him)

Sally: What the…? Chadwick! You get your crazy ass back here, right now! Chadwick!

Chadwick: (Approaches the pirate, puts him in the sleeper hold and knocks him out cold)

Jimmy: Whoa, Chadwick, that was amazing.

Chadwick: Thanks. I want to join the Navy when I graduate so my dad taught me a few tricks from his days in the military.

Jason: Badass, man. Alright, problem solved, let's keep trucking.

Crewmate #29: Hey, you brats! What do you think you're doing?

Lola: Oh shit!

Crewmate #29: Get over here! (Runs to the group of 15)

Bridon: Anyone have any last minute plans to take care of this guy with?

Kelly R.M: I do! (Takes out a bomb pop from the top of her tankini)

Brimmy: That was a bomb pop? First of all, ouch that's got to be cold. And second, I thought that was a weird shaped breast lump (Laughs).

Nelly: On word: Rehab.

Kelly RM: Here goes nothing! (Throws her bomb pop underneath the crewmate's feet, which causes him to slip and land on his back) Quick, someone give him a finisher!

Lola: Allow me! (Picks up one of the crates, runs up to the crewmate and whacks him over the head with it) Sweet dreams, dickhead!

Kelly RM: Nice one, Lola. The two of us make a good team. Hell, we all do. You know, maybe the lot of us should hang out more often. I don't know if you have dinner plans, but I think there's a nice Italian joint that serves…

Nichole: (Shoots down her idea) We all have lives, R.M.

Francis: Come on, guys, I don't think we're that far from the dungeon.

(The 14 press on until they reach a door. Bradley opens it a crack and sees the cell that their friends are being held in…being guarded by a single guard)

Bradley: I've got good news and I've got bad news. What do you want to hear first?

Esther: I could go for some good news right about now.

Bradley: Well, we've reached the dungeon. The bad news…there's a guard blocking our way.

Jason: Well obviously that's the bad news. What other bad news is there?

Brimmy: I don't know: They're all dead and we're next? (All eyes are on him)

Sally: (Sarcastically) Thanks for inspiring hope, idiot! (Normal tone) Now how will we take care of that guard.

Jessie: (She and Kal take some Skittles out from her pocket) Let me and Kal handle this one.

(Cut to a few minutes later, the bored looking guard is keeping guard duty. He looks into the cell to find his seven prisoners asleep)

Crewmate #30: Boring isn't it? I should be out there fighting alongside Cervantes. Not locked up in here babysitting some random nobodies lost at sea. Why doesn't Cervantes want me? (It's then he sees a skittle roll into the dungeon room. He picks it up and eats it) Oh, yummy! (He walks to the door and sees a trail of skittles leading down the hall) Oh, there's more! (He follows the trail, eating the skittles as he goes. He turns the corner, and when he reaches the end he finds a bag full of skittles) Jackpot! (He starts eating the skittles) This is better than any treasure we've ever found! (As he eats he uncovers a live stick of dynamite that's about to blow up) Oh this isn't…GAH!

(Kal and Jessie trap him in a big crate and the dynamite explode within it, killing the crewmate. The explosion was loud enough to wake up the seven in the cell)

Doug: Huh? What's all the racket?

Bridon: (Races into the dungeon with the other 14) Everyone, we're here! Don't panic!

Kelly PT: Bridon?

Bridon: Hey, PT.

Kelly PT: You really think rushing in here with your little posse makes you my Prince Charming.

Bridon: Is it working?

Kelly PT: No! Now get us out of here.

Esther: You could ask nicer, you know.

Alex Slave: Jesus, just hurry before more of those pirates show up.

Bridon: Right! (Starts looking for the key)

Jeffrey: Where the rest of our team.

Jimmy: They're outside trying to fight C-Cer-C-Cervantes.

Lola: But it's not going well. Sam and Wendy are going it alone while everyone else is locked up. We're trying to free you so that you can lend a helping hand.

Kelly RM: (Holds up the gear) I got your stuff right here.

Chadwick: Mr. Mephesto, don't you have a random creature to help out…even though it'll probably die in a millisecond.

Mephesto: No I left my hybrids at home.

Brimmy: Of course you did.

(Suddenly, there hear footsteps)

Jason: Uh oh, I think I hear some crewmates coming. Bridon, you better search for that key faster.

Bridon: I'm trying! There's like 50 keys on this thing! I need more time!

Sophocles: More time is something we don't have!

Sally: I have an idea on how to buy you all some time, but I need Nichole and Nelly's help too.

Nichole: Okay.

Nelly: Sure. What's the plan? (Sally whispers in their ears) Got it. I just hope Francis doesn't mind.

Nichole: If it means living another day and saving our friends so be it. (She and Nelly stand by Sally)

Sally: Alright, girls, any moment there's going to be some very angry pirates busting through that door. When they do, give them the biggest surprise of their lives.

Nelly: Yup. (Hears the footsteps get closer) Sounds like there's two of them.

Sally: Alright, here they come. Get ready, and…(The two crewmates bust through the door) NOW!

(Sally, Nelly, and Nichole lifted their shirts exposing their breasts, much to the two crewmate's surprise)

Crewmate #31: (Gets a nosebleed and passes out)

Crewmate #32: Such beautiful bosoms! I need them in me life!

Lola: Bitch! (Comes out of nowhere and whacks the crewmate in the head with another crate) Nice work, you three.

Nelly: Same to you. But what is it with you and whacking people with crates recently.

Lola: (Shrugs her shoulders)

Bridon: (Finally finds the right key) Bingo! You're all free now.

Kelly PT: Sweet! (Hugs Bridon before realizing what she's doing and quickly lets go)

Kelly RM: (Tosses the proper equipment to Sophocles, Jeffrey, Doug, Mr. Slave, and Leon) Suit up, guys, Sam and Wendy need you out there! (The five saints nod)

(Back on the beach, Sam and Wendy get blown back by another one of Cervantes' attacks. The rest of the saints can do nothing but satch in horror as their best friends are getting their asses handed to them by the final advocate)

Bridgette/Singing Angel: Oh no, Sam!

Millie: Wendy, get up!

Cervantes: (Steps up ready to deliver the final blow) Well, I must admit, ye have a lot of gumption to go up against as powerful a force as I…but ye blew it just like I knew ye would. Now, it's time to end this. (Holds out his leg cannon as the saints in the cages look away) Fare thee well! (Sam and Wendy hold each other one last time when…)

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket! (Fires his attack which hits Cervantes, which causes Cervantes' own attack to go off course and hit the saints in the cages setting them free)

Cartman/Coon: Kick fucking ass!

Cervantes: Who dares disrupt my attack!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Right here!

Cervantes: What trickery be this! (He sees his prisoners freed)

Bridon: Heh! How you like them apples, Blackbeard!

Cervantes: Unbelievable!

Sam/Sir Justice: Holy shit! You guys actually freed them!

Terrance M: You're welcome by the way!

Cervantes: (Growls) Now ye have gone and done it! Be gone, heathens! Cannonball Crusher. (Fires a cannonball at the freed Saints but they dodge out of the way and join Sam and Wendy)

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: So glad you guys are alright.

Sophocles: If it weren't for Bridon and his group of friends, we'd still be locked in the brig.

Sam/Sir Justice: Those guys are alright. So, are you guys ready to teach this pirate a lesson or two?

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Oh yeah! AWOOOOOOOOO!

Sam/Sir Jusitce: (Turns to the rest of the squad) Saints! Guide Mephesto and the rest of our friends to safety. I have a feeling that things are going to get messy.

Kenny/Mysterion: You've got it, Sam!

Ace: Best of luck, yo! (They all leave, leaving the eight fighters to duke it out alone)

Cervantes: I've been looking forward to this day for a long time. The day when the great South Park Saints finally die!

Sam/Sir Justice: We've been looking forward to putting down the last advocate too…(Gets teary eyed) I just can't believe it has to be one of my childhood icons!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Pull yourself together, babe.

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Is Sam gonna be okay?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: It's a long, embarrassing, story.

Cervantes: Enough talking! Have at you!

(Cue Red Sun from Metal Gear Rising)

(Opening instrumentals)

Cervantes: I summon forth the true power of my blade! (He raises his sword hand skyward and lightning strikes it, giving it electric power) Oh yes! As you say, let's get cooking! (Fires a thunderbolt from his sword, and his seven opponents dodge)

Sophocles: Soul Chopper! (Fires an air slash from his scythe that Cervantes blocks)

Cervantes: Ye can do better than that!

(Golden rays of the glorious sunshine. Setting down such a blood red light. Now the animals slowly retreat to the shadows, out of sight)

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener:Chainsaw Slash! (Swings his chainsaw, and Cervantes blocks again)

Cervantes: Eat a piece of this! (Gets ready to punch, but Mr. Slave takes out his hand rakes and blocks it) Argh!

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Garden Variety Scratch! (Scratches Cervantes in the face with the hand rakes)

Cervantes: Agh! Damn you, girly man! (He kicks him away)

(Arid winds blows across the mountains giving flight to the birds of prey. In the distance machines come to transform Eden day by day)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Hey, not cool!

Cervantes: I'll show ye cool! Scimitar Shock! (Fires a lightning bolt from his sword hand but…)

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Spiral Claw! (He digs underground and dodges the attack)

Cervantes: What kind of trickery…(Suddenly, Leon comes up from beneath him, scratching him multiple times and kicking him away, knocking him on his ass) Annoying little puppy ye be. (He now looks to see Jeffrey, Sam, Wendy, and Doug standing together)

(Only love is with us now, something warm and pure. Find the peace within ourselves, no need for a cure. When the wind is slow, when the fire's hot, the vulture waits to see what rots. Oh, how pretty, all the scenery. This is nature's sacrifice. When the air blows through with a brisk attack. The reptile tail ripped from his back. When the sun sets we will not forget the Red Sun over paradise)

Sam/Sir Justice: Keep the pressure on him, everyone! Kurt's Beam Cannon!

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Wrath of the Tigress!

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception

Jeffrey/Sgt. Stevens: Mighty Musket!

Cervantes: I won't be defeated this easily! (Dodges all four of the attacks. Each round of the attacks fired and he'd dodge them. Eventually, he retaliates) Thunder Slash! (Fires an electric air slash from his sword that the four fighters dodge and regroup with the other three)

Sam/Sir Justice: Cervantes is a tough cookie, just like I imagined he'd be.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Then I guess it's time. (Turns to Doug, Jeffrey, Sophocles, Leon and Mr. Slave) Do you think you five can hold him down long enough so Sam and I can work our magic.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: What magic?

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: You'll see.

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Alright, I'm trusting you all. (Him and the other four requested move forward)

Cervantes: So this be the last stand. Come at me then! Cannonball Crusher! (Fires a cannonball that the five fighter dodge)

(Instrumentals)

Doug/Cerulean Viper: Viper's Cold Reception. (Fires it at Cervantes lower body, freezing it to the ground)

Cervantes: Ye think ice shall stop me? Don't make me laugh! (Gets his sword ready) Scimitar…

Alex Slave/Glamorous Gardener: Sleepy Seeds. (Tosses seeds on him that make him drowsy)

Cervantes: Oh…what's happening? No, I can still fight!

Leon/Beo-Wolf: Quick, grab him! (Him and Jeffrey grab Cervantes's normal hand while Sophocles and Mr. Slave grab his sword hand)

Cervantes: Let me go…you fools

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Sam…you ready?

Sam/Sir Justice: I was born ready.

Wendy/Fuchsia Tigress: Then let's do this! (She and Sam hold hands and an orange aura glows around both)

Sam/Sir Justice & Wendy/Fucshia Tigress: Love Sync! (They form a orange and pink falcon made of energy) Falcon Fellowship! (They point towards Cervantes and the falcon flies towards him)

Sophocles: Well, see ya! (He, Jeffrey, Leon, and Mr. Slave let go of Cervantes just in time as the attack hits him)

Cervantes: AAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!

(Song ends)

(Everyone hears Cervantes screaming and come out of hiding. It's at this moment when a police paddy wagon comes to do its job)

Cervantes: (Cough) Well played, saints…(Cough) Well played. (Passes out)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Walks up to the unconscious pirate and hugs him) It was an honor fighting you, Cervantes. I'll never forget this fight as long as I live.

Police man: (Comes up to him) Hey, you the rebel rouser?

Sam/Sir Justice: (Points at Cervantes) Nope, this is the one you want.

Police man: (Picks up Cervantes and cuffs him) Did this man have any accomplices.

Sam/Sir Justice: Yeah, but we cleared the beach of all of them. I think a few got away though, but they shouldn't cause any more troubles.

(Meanwhile, out at sea, the rest of Cervantes crewmates are watching his fall through their telescopes)

Crewmate #33: Aye. Sad day indeed. Captain Cervantes is put away.

Crewmate #34: The last advocate has fallen. I can tell that Satan will be most unsatisfied.

Crewmate #35: Don't worry, mateys. We'll get our revenge on those saints in due time. Just wait. (The remaining crewmates sail off into the horizon)

(Back on mainland, Cervantes is loaded into the paddy wagon as everyone cheers for our heroes)

Sam/Sir Justice: (Waving at crowds) Please, please, it was nothing. Besides we couldn't have done it without the assistance of a few special faces. (Looks at Bridon and gives him a thumbs up, who returns the favor)

Jason: (Mutters) Dude could've mentioned us by name.

Jessie: There was like twenty of us, Jason, it would've taken too long.

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Sees the paddy wagon drive off) So long, Cervantes! Don't drop the soap!

Ed: Heidi!

Heidi/Fatal Feline: (Turns to see her uncle standing there with open arms. She runs up to him and hugs him) Uncle Ed! We did it!

Ed: You certainly did. I'm so proud of you and your friends. It's people like you that make the world a better place.

Dan: (Walks up to his cousin) Yeah, Heidi. You guys are pretty cool.

Butters/Professor Chaos: Hold up, Heidi, Dan is your cousin!?

Heidi/Fatal Feline: Yeah, you didn't know that?

Butters/Professor Chaos: Huh…it is a small world after all.

Sam/Sir Justice: (Turns to all of his friends) So, last advocate is put away, and we all still have three days of fun in the sun. What do you say we celebrate a true hero's victory tonight?

All: YEAH!

(With the last advocate put away, our heroes are ready to enjoy the rest of their vacation)

TO BE CONTINUED…

This episode too longer than it should to make. To be honest, I kind of lost motivation to write this for the past few months. Hopefully uploading this new chapter means I'm out of my funk. Anyway, next time will be the last episode in Season 1, that's right Season finale. Stick around for the fun.