Chapter Twenty-Five
I can't say enough about the wonderful reviews I've received for this story. I think I'll go to 30 chapters and end it, picking it up in New York a small jump in the future.
This one is a little song heavy..but they are all happy happy songs :).
Love all my readers, and all the reviews..I thought no one would like the story..makes me want to write another one and do things different..hmmm.
I know I've said it before (I think), but I was in show choir in high school (we were more like vocal adrenaline than new directions. Grand champions in six states and two countries :). But we had a banquet every year after the season was over, to celebrate the seniors. Much of what I will write here happened at our banquets, except we had a senior roast and I didn't want to have to think about all that crap lol. Our parents did sing to us our senior year (even though I didn't include it), and our show choir director wrote a song for every senior class. So enjoy..once we get past the sad part at the beginning.
Don't own Glee...NOT ENOUGH Klaine :).
Blaine sat alone in his bedroom, Kurt was upstairs with Christopher and his parents, along with probably his own mother. Kurt was almost back to himself now, happy again, well as happy as he could be on the day of a funeral. He just sat there, staring at the envelope his mother had given to him. She had told him she found some letters he'd written, which led her to believe, this "accident" wasn't so much what it seemed. The insurance company couldn't rule it anything else, seeing as how his mother hid the letters she found. He was afraid to read it, didn't want to read the hatred he assumed would be there. He finally sat all three letters down, one for Kurt and Christopher also. He wasn't sure if he would ever give Christopher's his, he would read it first of course, and if there was anything that he thought he should know he's show it to him when he was older. He opened the envelope pulling out the paper inside, he sat the envelope on the bed beside him, and unfolded the paper. He let his tears fall one last time, he thought, as he read his father's last words to him.
To my son,
I had thought of writing Dear Blaine, but thought better of it. To be honest I don't deserve to call you my son, you were right, you are better than me. I'm sitting here looking at your baby pictures, wishing I could turn back time, much like you feel about your own child. The only exception is I want to do it over, Blaine, there are so many things I want to change, so many things you never deserved. I know this is probably too late, but I want you to know I love you, I've always loved you. I was so confused, so hurt, if that makes sense. I had dreams for you, I wanted you to be happy, I've always wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to live your life without knowing pain, without seeing the horrible things in the world. When you told me you were gay I knew I couldn't do that, in all honesty I knew I couldn't anyway. I just felt I failed you, I was brought up that being gay was wrong, it was something to be punished. But son I know the truth now, I know it's not, it's something as natural as me loving your mother. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it, I wish I could've been what Burt has been to you, I wish I could've been your father. I am forever grateful to him for everything he's done for you, he and Carole both. I've been a horrible husband also, your mother never wanted to let you go, but she wasn't strong enough to leave, to go get you and start over. Don't hate her for that, this is all my fault, and I take all the blame. I'm sorry for all the horrible things I've said and done your entire life, most of all for abandoning you when you needed me most. I'm a sorry excuse for a human being, let alone father, and you were right, you do know more about being a father than I ever did.
Make sure you hold that little boy every chance you get, let him choose his own dreams, fight for him to love whoever he wants. Fight for him the way I should've fought for you, make sure he turns into a wonderful man, much like yourself. Before you know it he'll be graduating high school and all the chances will be gone. I know you are going to marry that boy one day, and I pray with all my heart that this stupid world allows you to. You treat him well, you take care of him in the ways I never took care of your mother. You deserve all the love in the world and I know Kurt will give that to you, tell him I said thank you for that. Tell him thank you for loving you when I didn't, for being what I prayed you'd find in your life, even though it was a different package than I imagined. I just wish I could've seen you one more time, been able to talk to you, but know I am proud of you, so very very proud of you. I'm so sorry, more than you could ever possibly imagine, I wish nothing but happiness for you, I'd wish you love, but you already have that. Kiss that baby for me, tell him he's a beautiful miracle, that this man realized way too late.
I love you with all my heart
Dad
Blaine felt anger, guilt, and overwhelming sadness. He felt regret, regret that he never will know the man that wrote that letter, the father he'd wished for..for too long. He felt arms wrap around him a few minutes later, knowing without opening his eyes they were Kurt's arms.
"He did it on purpose Kurt, he killed himself because he couldn't live with what he did to me".
Kurt wiped his tears, "baby you can't blame yourself, you didn't make him treat you like that. His guilt is what killed him, you didn't, don't you ever think you did. I read that letter Blaine, he didn't want you to feel guilt, he wanted you to know his".
"I just wish I could just talk to him one more time, to see something besides hate in his eyes, I wanted to see him again. See him looking at me the way he did when I was little. I'll never get that chance again, I thought I hated him so much, I was so sure..now I just don't know".
Kurt sighed, "it's okay not to hate him, yes what he did was horrible, but he realized this, and it's okay to mourn him. I know you said you lost him a long time ago. But Blaine you need to mourn the father you never knew, you never got to know".
"I just feel like I hurt him, by not listening to what he had to say when he was alive".
"Then tell him, tell him today what you would've told him if you got to talk to him again".
Blaine clung to Kurt's hand as they walked into the private viewing room. The funeral was in an hour, but Blaine's mother had requested Blaine have time to be alone with his father before the service. They were sitting in two chairs in the back of the room, Blaine not moving just staring at the man that lay before him. He finally stood, Kurt didn't move, he wouldn't unless Blaine wanted him to. He seemed to be okay without him, as he walked towards his father's casket. Kurt was shocked when Blaine walked right up to his father's body and smacked him across the face. Kurt walked up there, not getting near Blaine, but being there in case he needed him. Blaine was just standing there, breathing hard staring at his father, silent tears running down his face.
"I wanted to hate you, I tried for so long to just let the hate replace the hurt. I wish I could've got to talk to you again too, I wish so many things were different. The fact is you never really knew me, you never tried, you just couldn't get past WHAT I was to see WHO I was. Don't worry Christopher will never know about the pain I carried, he will never experience any of it. He has our hair and our name", Kurt looked up confused for a minute, decided to ask him about that another day.
"I'm angry at you, for realizing things you did were wrong, way too late. I'm angry at you for being so selfish as to do what you did, for being such a coward that you couldn't tell me you were wrong to my face..you wrote a fucking letter! No, I'm not your son, you lost the right to call me that when you left me crying in the floor that day. When you talked about my son so horribly, when you left, abandoned me, when I needed you. I don't care that you're proud of me, because I spent so many years trying to make you proud of me, so long wanting you to tell me those words. But I'm proud of myself, I'm close to being on my feet, and I did it all myself, without your help. I hope you watch me, get to see me be everything you told me I would never be. I forgive you, but that's all I can offer, is forgiveness. I'm offering that not because you deserve it, but because I need this. I need to let this, let you go, let go of the notion of a father I'll never have. Yes my son is a beautiful miracle...but dad..so was I..I was too".
Kurt smiled at him when he turned to see him looking at him.
"How do you feel hon?"
"At peace".
A week later Kurt was running around like a crazy person, trying to get things together for Christopher's birthday party the next day, and the glee club banquet that night. Everyone got ready, and headed towards the auditorium..for the last time as a glee club.
They all ate, everyone dressed beautifully, all the seniors at the head table none of them believing this was the end of their high school experience, the end of glee club. The all went to the auditorium afterwards, the glee kids excited, because they had a special gift not only for their parents, but Mr. Shu also.
They all got up, leaving a confused Mr. Shu as he didn't know what was going on.
Finn stepped forward, ", we know we all sung you a song our first year together, but this time we wanted to write you one. As unlike last time, this is our last time together, and we wanted to tell you thank you. For everything you've done, not just for me, but for everyone of us. So here it is, we hope you like it, know that we mean every word".
The curtain revealed the rest of New Directions, sans Blaine who was playing piano, standing there, all of them with either tears running down their faces, the girls, or tears threatening to, the boys. The music started, and Rachel stepped forward getting ready to sing.
(Italics will be individuals, with their name to point out who sings what. Bold will be the entire choir.)
(Rachel)
Standing in the spotlight
On such a perfect night
Knowing that you're out there
Listening
(Finn)
I remember one time
When I was so afraid
Didn't think I had the courage
To stand up on this stage
Then you reached into my heart
And you found the melody
(Sam)
And if there ever was somebody
Who made me believe in me
It was you
It was you
It was your song that made me sing
It was your voice that gave me wings
(Kurt)
And it was your light that shined
Guiding my heart to find
This place where I belong
It was your song
(Artie and Puck)
Every night I'd pray
Before the music starts to play
(Santana and Brittany)
That I'll do my best
And I won't let you down
(Rachel)
And for all the times I stood here
This feeling feels brand new
(Tina)
And anytime I doubt myself
I think of you
It was your song that made me sing
It was your voice that gave me wings
(Quinn)
And it was your light that shined
Guiding my heart to find
This place where I belong
It was your song
(Mercedes)
Dreams can come true
With God's great angels like you
(Finn)
It was your song that made me sing
(Mike)
It was your voice that gave me wings
(Lauren)
And it was your light that shined
Guiding my heart to find
This place where I belong
It was your song
It was your song
It's always been your
Song
The whole room was crying, Mr. Shu ran up on stage to hug each and every one of his students, his favorite students. He'd never forget them, or what they ended up teaching him. Once all the hugs were out of the way all the girls sat down, letting the boys take over, as they had prepared a special song. This time it was Puck that stepped forward to address their audience.
"I know I don't always say much, well much that anyone pays attention to. But I wanted to thank my mom, she raised me by herself, and anything I've done that was good was because of her. So this is for our moms", he said turning to Kurt, "whether they're here or not".
(Artie)
It takes a lot to know what is love
It's not the big thing but the little things
That can mean enough
(Puck)
A lot of players to get me through
(Kurt)
There is never a day that passes by
I don't think of you
(Finn)
You were always there for me
Pushing me and guiding me
Always to succeed
You showed me
(Mike)
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me
(Sam)
Everything that I should know
You showed me
(Blaine)
Just how to walk without your hands
(Finn)
'Cause mom you always were
The perfect fan
(Artie)
God has been so good
With blessing me with the family
Who did all they could
(Sam)
And I've had many years of Grace
And it flatters me when i see a smile on your face
(Kurt) pointing to Carole
I wanna thank you for what you've done
In hopes I can give back to you
And be the perfect son
You showed me
(Mike)
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me
(Sam)
Everything that I should know
You showed me
(Blaine)
Just how to walk without your hands
(Finn)
'Cause mom you always were
The perfect fan
(Kurt)
You showed me how to love
(Puck)
You showed me how to care
(Finn)
And showed me that you would always be there
(Sam and Mike)
I wanna thank you for the time
And I'm proud to say you're mine
You showed me
(Mike)
When i was young just how to grow
You showed me
(Sam)
Everything that I should know
You showed me
(Blaine)
Just how to walk without your hands
(Finn)
'Cause mom you always were
The perfect fan
(Finn)
'Cause Mom you always were
(Kurt)
Mom you always were
(Artie)
Mom you always were
(Puck)
You know you always were
(Sam)
Mom you always were
(Mike)
The perfect fan
(Blaine)
I Love You Mom
This time the boys couldn't control the tears, and neither could their moms who all ran to hug their sons, some not by blood..but their sons just the same. Carole hugged all three of her boys, letting Blaine go so his mother could hug him.
They all sat down so the girls could sing Daddy's Hands by Holly Dunn, all except for Quinn, who decided to stay seated with her mother.
Then to everyone's surprise, but Mr. Shu's Finn and Blaine got on stage together. Blaine and Finn sat on stools, Blaine with his guitar. Finn smiled and started to introduce themselves.
"I am Finn, if you didn't know, and this is Blaine. With Mr. Shu's permission we had planned a song for someone who has been more important to us than we would've ever believed. He is the most wonderful man, and we both hope to be just like him one day. Now the words aren't perfect..but you'll get the idea".
Finn smiled and nodded at Blaine to start to play his guitar.
(bold is both of them together).
(Finn)
When a single mom goes out on a date with somebody new
It ends up feeling more like a job interview
My momma used to wonder if she'd ever meet someone
Who wouldn't find out about me
And then turn around and run
I met the man that's now my dad
When I was five years old
He took my mom out to a movie
And for once I got to go
A few months later I remember lying there in bed
I overheard him pop the question
And I prayed that she'd say yes
And then
All of the sudden it seemed so strange to me
How we went from something's missing to a family
Looking back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
I hope I'm at least half the dad
He didn't have to be
(Blaine)
And then all of the sudden it seemed so strange to me
How I went from something's missing to a family
Looking back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
I hope I'm at least half the dad
He didn't have to be
Looking back all I can say
About all the things he did for me
I hope I'm at least half the dad
He didn't have to be
No one mentioned the usually composed Burt Hummel was reduced to tears by the two boys he considered sons. Because for the first time he realized they saw him as a father too. Kurt smiled at his dad, knowing he deserved all the praise he's gotten, he never knew how lucky he got having him for a father until he met Blaine's. The night was coming to a close, only one song left and Mr. Shu took the stage, telling them all that he was so proud of them. Not just for their accomplishments as a club, but as individuals.
I hope that the days come easy and the moments pass slow,
And each road leads you where you want to go,
And if you're faced with a choice, and you have to choose,
I hope you choose the one that means the most to you.
And if one door opens to another door closed,
I hope you keep on walkin' till you find the window,
If it's cold outside, show the world the warmth of your smile,
But more than anything, more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
I hope you never look back, but ya never forget,
All the ones who love you, in the place you left,
I hope you always forgive, and you never regret,
And you help somebody every chance you get,
Oh, you find God's grace, in every mistake,
And you always give more than you take.
But more than anything, yeah, and more than anything,
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
My wish, for you, is that this life becomes all that you want it to,
Your dreams stay big, and your worries stay small,
You never need to carry more than you can hold,
And while you're out there getting where you're getting to,
I hope you know somebody loves you, and wants the same things too,
Yeah, this, is my wish.
This is my wish
I hope you know somebody loves you
May all your dreams stay big
Mr. Shu was rushed by his entire glee club all hugging him at the same time. He couldn't believe, like them, that this was over, his first kids were graduating. He couldn't believe how much they'd all changed in the three years he'd known them. Couldn't wait to see what the future had in store for them, but knew no matter what it was he'd be proud.
Wow that was a lot of songs..but had to get that all out of the way..next up Christopher's party!
Need some help..I need some suggestions as what song for Kurt to sing at his Julliard audition. I have Blaine's already..but am stumped at which one Kurt should sing.