"Oh shit, oh shit, oh shit!"
"Fenrir, watch it! I'm already catlike enough as it is!"
"Sorry!!"
Jynx and Fenrir raced through the halls of the castle in Sidewalk's End, Fenrir precariously holding some sort of transformation spell in her hands. Jynx was trying to make sure it wouldn't fall. She didn't want it to land on her, however, so she wasn't exactly attending to the task at hand, which was watching the hall ahead. So they didn't see Sephiroth turning the corner unexpectedly. They ran slap bang into him and the three fell.
As if in slow motion, Jynx saw the spell arc gracefully through the air, come to earth leaving a glowing comet's trail... And land right on Sephiroth's head.
"Merde," she said, a look of doom crossing her face.
Jynx bit her lower lip, watching in horror as Sephiroth promptly passed out.
"What the...?" Fenrir began.
"We put that element in there, remember?" Jynx half moaned. "To make the transformation easier on the victim." Fenrir groaned.
"Xemnas is gonna kill us." Jynx nodded and looked to Sephiroth again. The bishounen was undergoing a visually minor transformation, mostly his ears shifting to the top of his head and turning furry, looking much like Jynx's, only silver. To Fenrir's embarrassment, he also ended up with a tail, a long, silver, fluffy one, resembling a Persian's tail. However, Jynx and Fenrir knew that the worst had yet to come.
Fenrir reflexively recoiled as Sephiroth slowly woke and sat up. Jynx, far more observant than a one-eyed demon had any right to be, noted his pupils had retracted to slits. Rubbing his head slightly, Sephiroth stared at them.
"What's up? Why are you staring at me?" he asked. Or rather, THOUGHT he asked. Fenrir stared at him quizzically.
"What'd he say, Jynx?" she asked. Sephiroth frowned. Hadn't they understood him?
"He's asking why we're staring at him," Jynx translated. Being a cat demon, she naturally understood him. Sephiroth cocked his head.
"I just said that," he replied. Jynx and Fenrir exchanged looks. Jynx conjured a mirror of ice and held it before him. Upon seeing the cat ears poking out of his hair and the tail waving behind him, Sephiroth let loose a yowl that put cats singing on fences to shame.
Highly distressed, to say the least, Sephiroth grabbed Jynx's shoulders.
"Don't let Xemnas see me like this!" he meowed pitifully.
"Whoa, take it easy, mon ami!" Jynx said, startled. "Don't worry, he won't know a thing."
"About what?"
Jynx and Fenrir yelped, hastily teleporting in front of Sephiroth. "Keep your head down, Seph!" Jynx meowed. Xemnas stared at her.
"Why are you meowing? And what's wrong with Sephiroth?" he asked. Jynx and Fenrir stammered nervously, so much so that Xemnas, immediately suspicious, shoved them aside. His eyes nearly bugged out of his head.
His alarmed. "WHAT THE FUCK?" echoed all the way through to Urquhart, startling... well, just about everyone.
Doors banged open as a pajama-clad Alderyn rushed into the room a plushy poised as a weapon.
"What happened now?" She asked sleepily and then her bleary eyes widened. In front of her was a rather fluffy eared and adorable bishie. That was all that registered in her sleepy mind. "SO CUTE!!!!" She screamed and glomped the bishie.
Sephiroth yowled loudly, attempting to dodge Alderyn. He hastily hid behind Xemnas, clinging to him and peering nervously at Alderyn. Xemnas, who'd recovered from the shock enough to realize his lover was in some minor trouble, quickly hugged him close, defending him from Alderyn.
Alderyn stopped in front of them bringing the plushy to her chest. Her eyes watered. "But I wanna hug the cute kitty bishie." She whined.
Xemnas glared at her, gold eyes narrowed dangerously as Sephiroth buried his face in his lover's chest. "I think not," he growled, fingers idly brushing over one of Sephiroth's ears. His gaze snapped to Fenrir and Jynx. "I think he's been traumatized enough this morning." The other two laughed sheepishly.
"Y... yeah... about that..." Jynx began. "That's just a spell... it'll wear off soon, we think..."
"You think?" Xemnas growled, though slightly halfheartedly. Sephiroth as a cat really was quite adorable, and damn near irresistible. Xemnas would have been quite content to keep him this close all day. Especially if Sephiroth kept meowing softly as he was now. Jynx and Fenrir heard him, but only Jynx understood him. Fenrir looked at her questioningly. She smiled and shook her head.
Suddenly a little lightbulb flicked on in her head. She went over to Xemnas.
"Hey, Xem, wanna get a neat little spell?" she asked. He gave her a look.
"What kind of a spell?" he asked cautiously. Jynx shrugged, fingers disappearing as she reached into a pocket dimension no one knew existed.
"Not so much a spell..." She pulled something out. "...As a fish." The thing in her hands was small, leech-like, and was bright yellow. "A Babelfish, to be precise. With it you can understand any form of language imaginable, including, but not limited to, French, German, Gaelic, and..." she gave a meaningful glance at Sephiroth. "...CAT."
Xemnas considered. Finally deciding the goods outweighed the bads, he nodded. Jynx held the Babelfish to his ear and released it. With the uncomfortable sensation of something squirming into his ear, Xemnas winced and rubbed his ear.
Alderyn watched curiously and then she realized something. "Umm guys..." She started before looking around nervously. "Isn't Sei a dog demon..."
Jynx blinked. "Well... she gets along well enough with me..." she said slowly. A vaguely panicky look crept into Sephiroth's eyes, and he clung tighter to Xemnas.
"But you're a cat DEMON," he meowed. "Not a real cat!" Jynx raised her eyebrow.
"Well, technically, neither are you, mon ami," she said. "You're more like an anime cat-girl."
"Oh great."
"Well, I'd think she'd be a bit afraid of Jynx. But Sephy... as you said is like anime cat girl which is foofy. She wouldn't be afraid of foofy cat girlish Sephy." Alderyn stated.
Sephiroth's ears flattened against his head. "Gee thanks," he growled, forgetting Alderyn couldn't understand him.
Xemnas, meanwhile, was still trying to get used to the Babelfish moving through his ear.
"I think I would have preferred a spell," he grumbled, rubbing his ear again.
"You'll get used to it," Jynx said.
"So how long is he stuck like this, anyway?" Xemnas asked, absently petting Sephiroth. Jynx and Fenrir looked at each other nervously.
"Erm... we're not too sure. We think the spell will wear off on its own..." Fenrir said cautiously. Jynx suddenly frowned and disappeared through the floor.
She reappeared in her room, down in the castle's basement. She checked the spellbook. She nodded, making a mental list of every element they'd put into the spell. She looked at the element allowing it to wear off. An expression of horror stole across her face.
Alderyn sweat dropped at Jynx's sudden departure. "Hmm, should we take that as a good sign or a bad one?" She asked the others with a nervous laugh.
Jynx bit her lower lip, wondering if she should tell the others. She shook her head, deciding against it. Of the many voices in her head, her conscience was never one of the louder ones. She shrugged and appeared in the midst of the others again, as she was wont to do.
"It's all good!" she said cheerfully. "Just checking something!" The others looked at her strangely. She shot Fenrir a pointed look that the others missed. Fenrir cocked her head slightly. 'Later,' Jynx mouthed. Fenrir nodded.
-O-
Not too long after he'd been transformed, Xemnas and Sephiroth were watching "The Crow" and munching popcorn. Or, rather, Sephiroth was sitting next to Xemnas while the other fed him popcorn. For the first time that day, Sephiroth was considering enjoying being a cat if it meant he'd get this sort of treatment.
"This stuff is better than the stuff Fenrir conjures," Sephiroth meowed. Xemnas nodded.
"I don't know why, but her stuff doesn't taste quite as good," he replied, licking a drop of butter from his finger. Sephiroth's ears suddenly twitched and he looked around, on edge. His tail lashed agitatedly.
"Why do I feel like something bad is about to happen?" he said miserably.
A light fell across a desk in a dark room. At the desk a hunched figure furiously scribbled out her devious plans. Her wings rustled in anticipation for what would come after her plans were complete.
-
"Alderyn, No Da?" Chichiri walked through the castle his monk's staff tapping a little irritatedly against the stones. He had been searching for the bird demon for the majority of an hour and had yet to find her. The monk had checked all her usual haunts to no avail. He called her name louder this time hoping that wherever she was she'd hear him.
Meanwhile, Jiin was wandering the halls, wishing to find Jynx and discuss something with her. She bit her lip, wondering how the unpredictable (and unstable) cat demon would take it.
However, the eccentric girl was nowhere to be found. She wasn't poking around in some of the other rooms, she wasn't looking for goblins in the oubliette, and she wasn't in Sidewalk's End. So where the hell was she? In her searching, she encountered Chichiri and decided to ask him.
"Naa, Chichiri. Have you seen Jynx?" she asked, approaching the monk.
Alderyn eyes gleamed as she flapped her wings silently outside the bishies' window. Her first plan was about to be put into action. A loud crash echoed from outside the couple's door and a snickering alien gibberish filled the air. Alderyn smirked. Stitch was easy to bribe.
Chichiri shook his head.
"No, No Da. Have you seen Ali-chan? She seems to have disappeared." He told her. He had a bad feeling. The monk shook his head in worry, his blue gravity defying bangs swinging back and forth. "Daaa, if both are missing that doesn't bode well for us…."
Xemnas jumped as a loud crash echoed from what was formerly Fenrir's room.
"Shit," he growled. "You may prove right, love." He rose to go investigate, pausing the movie and leaving Sephiroth alone.
"Fine place to stop," Sephiroth growled. "Tin-Tin doesn't exactly have the prettiest mug in the world."
-
"Shimata..." Jiin muttered. "You're right, that's not good at all. Better find them ASAP." She would've said more, if a loud cry didn't cut her off.
The power to the room cut off abruptly and the windows blew open. With a small triumphant cry Alderyn launched herself at the adorable little kitty Sephie.
Sephiroth panicked and hissed at her, yowling louder than Burger the cat. He lashed out, intending to scratch her, and jumped over the back of couch. He landed nimbly and raced towards his and Xemnas' room.
Alderyn got a face full of carpet and a bloody scratch for her efforts. She let herself stay there a moment and leak a few tears. Her plan had failed. She had liked this plan too. Oh well, she had others. The thought came to her and she smirked. She had plenty other plans.
"What the hell was that?" Jiin groaned. She sped off in the direction of the living room.
Xemnas was planting a kick on Stitch's blue rear when Sephiroth ran up and clung tightly to his waist.
"What happened?" Xemnas asked, hugging Sephiroth.
"Alderyn, that's what!" Sephiroth yowled pitifully. "She tried to ambush me again!"
Chichiri followed closely behind Jiin. He had no idea what happened but the sinking feeling in his stomach tol him that most likely it had to do with Alderyn. She had been a troublemaker lately, more than usual. That was never good.
Xemnas petted Sephiroth's hair comfortingly. "If she tries again, I'll beat her up," he said. "How's that?"
Sephiroth grinned and started purring.
An incredibly loud cry, one that echoed through Urquhart and Sidewalk's End, interrupted everyone and directed their attention towards the castle grounds around Loch Ness.
"Hoh snap!! Jynx, what'd you do?!"
"Shut up, Fenny, it isn't my fault!"
An awful roar followed this, one that sounded like it didn't come from the throat of any normal being.
Alderyn had been in the process of setting up a rather flimsy looking complex trap of ropes and beams when her head snapped to the side at the sound coming from the lock. Her eyes narrowed. That did not sound good. She dropped the rope she was splicing and shot off towards the lock unsure of what she would find and somewhat afraid.
Jynx and Fenrir backed up against the wall, eyes wide and horrified as they stared at the thing they'd summoned.
"Hoh shit," Jynx groaned. "We're fucked."
Next to her, Fenrir nodded miserably. She was starting to regret letting Jynx talk her into summoning something from the copy of the Necronomicon, particularly Cthulhu. The horrible thing seemed quite pissed that it'd been summoned so far from its dead city under the waves. Fenrir hastily worked a teleportation spell and sent them into the castle.
"Holeh shits, we've summoned something nasty!!" the terrible two yelled as they bolted through the castle.
Alderyn stared wide eyed at the two as they flew past her. With a glare she grabbed Fenrir's collar. "What the hell did you do?!" She yelled at the other demon. She shivered as she sensed the incredibly sinister aura emanating from outside.
"Uhm... eheh... we kinda... summonedCthulhuwiththeNecronomiconJynxfound," Fenrir said in a rush. Jynx skidded to a halt.
"Come on, Fenny!" she shouted. "We have to..." She trailed off as she saw Alderyn. "Oh shit."
Alderyn just stared wide eyd at the girl for a moment. Summoned...Cthulhu..."WHAT THE HELL! CTHULHU!! WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING!" The girl screeeched and her glare was turned on Jynx as well. She dropped Fenrir and pointed a finger at Jynx. "You should have known better!"
Jynx conjured her beret and pulled it over her eyes, swearing and shouting in French.
"We didn't actually try to summon Cthulhu!" Fenrir wailed. "We meant to summon something minor, but we got the incantations messed up!" Another roar sounded from outside. "We don't know how to banish him! The most we can do is restrain him for a few days."
"What the hell's going on?" Xemnas asked as he and Sephiroth came running in, followed by Stitch. "Jynx, Fenrir, what'd you two do?"
Alderyn turned frightened eyes on Seph and Xenmas. "The two òinseach burraidh summoned Cthulhu and we are all officially fucked." Alderyn told them her voice as frantic as her thoughts.
Having read HP Lovecraft, Xemnas knew exactly what Alderyn was talking about.
"Oh shit," he groaned. Sephiroth, however, never having read Lovecraft, was at something of a loss.
"Cthulhu? What? What's going on?" he meowed frantically.
"Something very old, very powerful, and very pissed," Jynx said miserably. Another roar seemed to prove her point. "We need to restrain him for the time being and get somewhere where we can find a mage to banish him." Jiin arrived just then.
"What the hell's happening?" she asked. Everyone told her about Cthulhu, and she blanched. She threw an unexpectedly dirty look at Jynx, who, surprisingly, flinched and didn't meet her gaze, staring shamefacedly at the floor.
Chichiri was close behind Jiin and was appalled at the 'mischief' that the castles inhabitants had gotten themselves into. He stepped forward. "Will sealing scrolls work on him?" He asked.
"Maybe," Jynx answered miserably. No one seemed to notice that she kept looking at Jiin as if in search of support, though none was forthcoming. She sighed, ears drooping. "I don't really know."
Jiin resisted the urge to say anything.
"We should try anything we can," Xemnas said, thinking hard about Lovecraft's writings.
"I may know someone in Ireland who can help," Jynx said. "I don't know if he's still alive... but I'd heard he'd taken an apprentice, so..."
"Alera may have something to help. It would be a bit more technical than magical but anything to help right?" Alderyn piped up. She had moved closer to Chichiri and the monk had taken her hand for which she was grateful. "Chiri can transport me to Alera's and Jynx you go look into this man or apprentice or whatever."
"Fenrir and Jiin can hold off Cthulhu till we get back, No Da." Chichiri reasoned.
Jiin frowned unexpectedly. Jynx realized that Jiin was not going to do anything to help. Her ears drooped further.
"I'm fine with that," Jynx sighed. "But this guy won't talk to me unless I'm alone. Au revoir." With that she jumped from the window, opening her wings on the way down and flying towards Ireland.
Fenrir nodded. She closed her eyes for a moment, and the spell on her body fell away.
"Somehow I think I'll need this," she said before winging towards Cthulhu. Jiin made as if to follow, but once she was sure the others wouldn't see her, she winged to the East, flying away from the castle for good. Jynx had gotten too annoying, and the former mercenary couldn't take it anymore. Cthulhu was the last straw.
Alderyn and Chichiri disappeared through his hat with a quick wave to Seph and Xemnas.
Sephiroth and Xemnas looked at each other. They kissed quickly.
"Let's go help Fenrir and Jiin," Xemnas said. Sephiroth nodded. He may have been a cat-boy, but he was still the greatest swordsman ever.
Jynx, meanwhile, was winging miserably towards a small Irish village called Tulaigh Mhor (Tullymore), wondering what had happened to her and Jiin. It was like one minute they were so close, and the next Jiin was cold and aloof. She sighed. She knew she would likely never see the other cat demon again. But to the task at hand. She landed in front of a small thatch-roof cottage hidden in the hills beyond the village. She knocked on the door.
"Ned? You in there?" she called.
"Master Devine is dead." Jynx whipped around. Her eye widened.
Behind Jynx stood a black-haired, green-eyed Irish girl, obviously a vampire to judge by her skin. She was impossibly tall and thin, seeming to have been made from the same mold as Jynx; she was the exact same height with not a millimeter of difference. She was quite lanky, just like Jynx. Her eyes, behind rectangular glasses, were deeper green and harder than emeralds, looking utterly cold. Jynx opened her mouth slightly, giving a small "Oh," of surprise. The girl had her nose in a book, not really looking where she was going. She finally looked up. Her eyes widened as well.
"He's been... uh... dead for a while..." she said, voice growing softer as she spoke. Her voice was deep too. "Um... I'm Kiernan O'Shea, no relation to Jackie in the village. Who're you?"
"Je m'appelle Jynx Heureux," Jynx answered breathlessly, completely forgetting the other likely didn't speak French. 'Oh shit. This is exactly what happened when I met Jiin. All my English went for a vacation.' "Bonjour, mademoiselle."
"Bonjour," Kiernan answered. "What do you want?" she asked in French, marveling at the cat demon.
"Uh... I... are you Ned's apprentice?" Jynx asked, finally remembering her English. Kiernan nodded. "I'm from Castle Urquhart and I needed his help with something, and was wondering if you..." Jynx trailed off. Kiernan nodded.
"I'll try!" she said excitedly. Then she realized something. "But I can't fly."
"I can carry you!" Jynx said. Then the two blushed.
After dealing with a sleepdeprived pissed off Gargoyle and navigating their way through Alera's junk room they found the girl. She spent another few hours digging around with thier help trying to find the 'thingamabick' that would help them. Alderyn finally stubbed her toe on the damn thing and Chichiri whicked them away from the coffee hyped druid and back to the castle.
Sephiroth and Xemnas arrived outside, Sephiroth holding his katana and Xemnas holding the Kentuckian rifle. They were quite shocked to see Fenrir was fighting Cthulhu alone.
"Where's Jiin?" Xemnas asked. Fenrir flew over to them, trapping Cthulhu in a globe of darkness similar to those Drow conjured.
"I don't know. She never showed up," the jackal demon answered. Xemnas and Sephiroth shrugged, and the battle was joined.
Alderyn set up the 'thingamabick' which happened to be a off kilter orangish box. She poked several areas of it trying to remember exactly what Alera's instructions were. After being zapped several times Alderyn was able to activate it. A pearly shield surrounded the battlefield. It would contain any magic or energy that flew at it and would keep Cthulhu within its perameters. Alderyn grabbed Chichiri and they flew towards the battle.
Jynx was winging back to Urquhart, clutching Kiernan around the waist and blushing furiously.
"So what did you want Master Devine's help with?" Kiernan, also blushing, asked.
"Um... a friend of mine and I... we kinda... summoned Cthulhu..." Jynx replied, embarrassment curling in the pit of her stomach. "We only meant to summon a shoggoth, but..."
Kiernan shook her head. She gasped; Urquhart was in view already. "How long were we flying?"
"Not long. I fly pretty fast."
Alderyn wiped a dribble of blood from her mouth and looked up. She waved at Jynx and whoever she was carrying before charging back into the battle. She had been thrown away and into a tree. Chichiri was off to the side a red aura emanating from his cross-legged figure. Alderyn's eyes widened as she saw Cthulhu turn his eye on the distracted monk. A tendril of blazing black energy shot towards him. She raced it and through herself in front of him her swords crossed as a shield. She was thrown back against a tree...again. At least I blocked that attack... She thought as she coughed up a little blood and got unsteadily to her feet. Chichiri refused to let his concentration be broken even when anger welled up inside him. He would not let this monster hurt Ali-chan again.
"Jynx!" Fenrir yelled as the cat demon landed, setting Kiernan down carefully. "Thank the... well, I'm feeling pretty against gods right now..." She dodged an attack from Cthulhu with a flap of her massive wings. Jynx and Kiernan ran to the battle, Jynx summoning the Frozen Flames and Kiernan adjusting her glasses.
"How's it been going?" Jynx asked, conjuring her frozen sword.
"Alderyn's getting pulverized, Chichiri's casting something, and the rest of us are exhausted," Xemnas panted, aiming the rifle. He fired, attracting Cthulhu's attention. Jynx turned to Kiernan.
"Can you help?" she asked.
"I can try..." the vampire replied doubtfully.
"Who's she?" Sephiroth meowed.
"Kiernan O'Shea," Jynx replied, knowing Kiernan wouldn't be able to understand him. "She's that guy's apprentice. Turns out he died some months ago."
Chichiri's lone eye flashed open and the ground cracked as the red aura expanded and shot towards Cthulhu. Suzaku's Seishi concentrated on dealing a blow to weaken the monster. He knew a lone seishi couldn't stop the god. He hoped by weakening the god would help the others would be able to take him down. The red power hit Cthulhu head on and the god screeched angrily.
Kiernan pushed her glasses up her nose. She took a steadying breath, closing her eyes. A steady stream of nonsense-sounding syllables flowed from her mouth. To Jynx and Fenrir, however, the words were far from nonsense. They'd used similar words to summon Cthulhu in the first place.
Upon hearing the words, Cthulhu screeched again, similar sounds echoing from his own mouth. Kiernan's chanting grew stronger, and Cthulhu fought wildly, trying his damnedest not to fall into the dimensional portal opening behind him. The portal widened, and its heavy pull dragged Cthulhu ever closer. Kiernan's chants crescendoed, and with one last scream Cthulhu was sucked into the portal and sent back to R'yleh.
A sigh of relief escaped Alderyn as she hobbled over to Chichiri who was leaning against his staff in exhaustion. The two made their way to the others. "Well we've survived another almost certain disaster moment. Who wants to drown the adreniline crash with booze?" Alderyn asked as they came up level with the others.
"Teetotaler," Jynx said.
"Underage," Fenrir said.
"Vampire," Kiernan said.
"Xemnas is a weird-ass drunk," Sephiroth meowed. (Jynx translated.)
"So more booze for you," Jynx said with a shrug.
"Damn, you all are no fun." Alderyn said with a shake of her head. She looked to Kiernan. "And you an Irish lass. You'd think Guinness would be appatizing to vampires. Ah well too bad." At the end of her sentence she launched herself at Seph with no warning and gave him a quick glomp before backing away and glomping everyone else even the newcomer who she knew nothing about. After this was done she hid behind Chichiri not knowing what the others would do.
No one seemed to notice the peculiar twitch Jynx gave when Kiernan was glomped.
"Well, I've never actually tried since I became a vampire..." Kiernan mused, reflecting idly that she wished it had been Jynx who'd glomped her. "Damn, that's four centuries without any Guinness."
Jynx narrowed her eye. So far as she knew, vampires couldn't ingest anything but blood. Of course, beer was a liquid, so maybe...
Seeing no one intended to kill her she came out from behind the blinking blue hair bishie and happily walked towards the castle. She dragged Chichiri with her. "Anyone who wants a guiness and a scone follow me." She called behind her.
"Scones!" Jynx cheered happily. She eagerly followed, bothering Alderyn to hurry up.
Xemnas and Sephiroth shook their heads, walking towards the castle hand-in-hand. Kiernan shook her head and followed with her hands in her pockets. Fenrir recast the spell on herself and paused on the way in.
"Wonder where Sei and Ed were?" she mused aloud before heading in.
-End part thingy
Jynx: Well then… tell me, Fenny, how do we get stuck in these almost world-disaster situations?
Fenrir: Hell if I know.
Alderyn: You guys are idiots, that's how.
Jynx and Fenrir: You're mean!