Poor pups, the things I put them through...

Sirius was wide-eyed.

'Is that a good idea?'

'Yes,' Remus said firmly. 'They won't find out, will they?'

It wasn't a question that required answering. Sirius knew well that although easy-going as a rule, sometimes to a detrimental extent, when Remus dug his heels in he was not persuadable. It had happened at school, when he and Severus Snape had been potions partners, leaving James and himself to muddle through. He had endured all manner of taunts (some of which still made Sirius sick to recall) and cajoling but had remained firm. He and Severus were going to be partners throughout the NEWTs.

It had all gone wrong, though, when he had nearly got Snape killed by Remus.

Sirius wrenched his mind back to the present.

'You know we've got money for a while yet,' he said softly.

'It's not just money!' Remus exclaimed. 'I have to get out! I have to do something! And if I can't teach, well, I don't care what I do.'

Guilt seared through Sirius once more. You'd have thought I'd have got a bit used to it, he thought miserably. Knowing as he did, though, that Remus hated him feeling guilty, he kept quiet.

I don't want to argue with him, he thought. This is my fault, no matter what he said – I came here and I ruined his life. But I hope I make amends in some ways, and one of those ways is to support him and let him know that I'm on his side. I'm always on his side.

He gave Remus a hug.

'Have you phoned Ianto?'

Remus was obviously relieved that Sirius was not going to call his decision into question any more.

'Yes. He was a bit taken aback, but pleased. I'm starting in a couple of days.'

'Good,' Sirius said, and smiled. He was worried still, far less blasé than Remus about his chances of working unobserved by the Ministry of Magic, but he had made up his mind.

Remus, meanwhile, was uncharacteristically nonchalant about going agin the government like this. Normally so thoughtful and considerate, weighing the pros and cons before he decided to do something, he had made his choice and he wasn't prepared to agonise over it. He could sense Sirius's worry but told himself that Sirius was simply being overprotective.

The next few days were blissful, like they had been at the beginning of their relationship. Remus was far more relaxed, no longer straining to appear cheerful, and Sirius had managed to shrug off his anxieties. They enjoyed their time together, cooking together, making love, talking books. They went walking one day, getting horribly lost but finding themselves in an ancient little pub that served decent food and better beer.

So it went that Remus was happy on the morning of his first shift. He dressed up reasonably smartly, put When We Were Bad in his bag for Ianto along with his packed lunch, kissed Sirius a lingering goodbye, and strolled off down the road lightfooted.

Ianto greeted him with smiles, exclaimed with delight on being lent the novel and bundled him into a stripy apron.

'Very nice!' he said approvingly, and set Remus to work.

He managed pretty well, though not effortlessly. Unused to this sort of work, not always particularly dexterous (in fact sometimes quite gauche), he dropped a couple of cups and narrowly missed dousing a hippie in peppermint tea.

Fortunately, Ianto's clientele were fairly forgiving, as was Ianto himself. The hippie just smiled beatifically and made a couple of mystic hand passes to 'release his raging energies'.

A potentially dark spot occurred when one of Remus's third year students came into the café with a couple of friends. She did a double take to see her donnish ex-lecturer serving coffee in a tearoom, but was entirely lovely. She told Remus she missed his classes, that his replacement was nowhere near matching him, that the university administrators were stick-in-the-mud old fools, and tipped him lavishly. Still, Remus had to wipe a tear away surreptitiously once she went to sit down.

Ianto had seen this all (he was down in the café making sure his newest member of staff was coping with his new job) and he commanded Remus to take a break. He made him a coffee and ushered him outside before giving him an understanding smile and leaving him alone to sit on a brick wall and smoke and pull himself together.

By the end of his shift, Remus had got pretty nifty with the coffee machine and was fairly pleased with himself. He had befriended the other staff and got the hang of the till.

'I'm really glad you could work,' Ianto told him. 'I just hope you don't get bored with it!'

Remus shrugged. 'I'm sure I won't,' he said, though he wasn't entirely. 'Thank you for letting me after messing you about like that.'

'Ah it's alright. I know the Department for Work and Pensions rejoice in paperwork and bossing people about.'

Remus nodded uncomfortably.

'When's my next shift?' he asked.

'I haven't done the rota yet, but Tuesday is a bit empty, if that's okay?'

'Course it is,' Remus said and he removed his apron. 'I'll see you then.'

'Take care,' Ianto told him.

It was evening, the sky streaked with almost unnaturally beautiful colour and high thin clouds. It was still sunny but cold, and Remus shivered and walked faster.

Sirius had made dinner when he arrived home. He hugged him and asked him about his day, handed him a glass of wine and sat him down in front of a plate of stew.

He hadn't forgotten that Remus was going to tell him who had written the letter that had lost him his job, but he felt he shouldn't ask until dinner had been eaten. He kept the conversation light until the last pan had been washed up and left to drain and they went to sit in the lounge.

Remus was tense. He too was thinking about the letter, and Severus. He knew he needed to tell Sirius – he felt the distance that the whole episode had put between he and his lover, and hoped that the confession would bring the distance and the guilt to an end – but he was still nervous and, yes, a little frightened of Sirius's reaction.

'Before you ask,' he said calmly, 'I will tell you who. But I want you to know – I've put this off as long as I can, because I know how angry you'll be. The fact is, Sirius, I can't afford you to be angry with this person; I can't have you flying off the handle at him. I rely on him, and I can't have you drive him away.'

'You rely…?' said Sirius wonderingly. 'You – oh. Fucking goddamn him to hell!'

Remus looked at him, sitting on the sofa. Every muscle coiled like a spring so that he trembled from head to foot, and his face…

I was right to be frightened, thought Remus.

'The bastard,' Sirius said softly, then 'the bastard,' louder.

He got to his feet.

'I'm going for a run,' he said, his voice trembling like his body, his fists clenched so hard that Remus could see the knuckles livid white. Neither of them could look the other in the face.

'Sir -'

'I have to get out or I'm going to find him and kill him.'

The quietness, the suppressedness of the anger crackling round the room made it infinitely more threatening.

Remus let him go without a word.

Sirius pounded along the roads, not slowing down as he ascended the hills of Sheffield. Up through Crookes he ran and out into the Rivelin valley, and he didn't stop until he reached the great rock that overlooked the river.

He stood there panting desperately, caught his breath, and opened his mouth and screamed at the moon. No words, just rage.

He screamed until his throat was raw, his body arced elegantly backwards, and all he could think was hate.

He hated Snape for doing this, he hated him for everything at school, and he hated Remus for having to rely on him. He hated himself for being so angry that he could not stay and be with his lover. He hated the moon for changing his Remus every month, and he hated everyone who did not have look on powerlessly as a person they loved was torn apart and put back together with a little bit missing every time.

And then, it stopped. He hated Snape still, and he knew he probably always would, but everything else departed, and all he could think about was Remus alone in his flat.

You deserted him, you bastard.

And so he took to his heels once more and ran back just as quickly, love pulling him back as surely as rage had spurred him on.

He had left without a key, and was about to knock on the door when he noticed it was slightly ajar.

I'm sure I remember slamming it, he thought slightly shamefacedly.

He pushed it open.

'Re? I'm back. I'm sorry I ran away. Re?'

No answer.

Has he gone out? He'd never leave the door open would he? Although… he was probably upset. Shame again.

Worry niggled at him, but he decided to have a quick shower and then go out looking for Remus, maybe phone Jane and ask her if she knew where he was.

He had just donned a clean t-shirt when he heard a crackling sound and then a whoosh and thud. He rushed into the lounge, his mind full of Remus, when he was brought up short.

'You!'

'I assure you, I am no more pleased to see you than you are to see me,' commented Snape dryly.

'What the fuck are you doing here?'

'Not very polite, Black.'

'I've just heard something pretty shitty about you, you know,' Sirius snarled. 'Something even more shitty than what I've come to expect from you.'

That disturbed Snape's equanimity somewhat, but only for a second.

'Someone who claims to be as attached to Remus Lupin as you ought to recollect that it is less than a week until full moon. I have merely come to deliver his Wolfsbane. If I am not welcome, then I shall leave.'

'No – wait. I'm sorry,' that word wrenched out like a healthy tooth clinging to the gum.

'Ah. You don't hate me enough to eject me when I can do you a favour.'

'If it was me you were doing a favour, I'd throw you out quick as winking,' Sirius told him, imperfectly controlling his antipathy.

'Charming,' Snape murmured. 'Where is Lupin? This ought to be drunk directly.'

'He's – he's not here.'

Snape looked genuinely startled, as well he might. Remus took his responsibilities as a werewolf far too seriously to just disappear on a Wolfsbane night.

'Where is he?' he asked, and even Sirius could catch the note of worry in his voice.

'I don't know,' said Sirius, hanging his head.

'Ah, you lovebirds have had a fight.'

'If we have, it's your fault!'

'Now, now, Black, play nicely,' he said, but distractedly, as though his heart wasn't in Sirius-baiting. 'Have you no idea where he might be?'

'No,' Sirius said unwillingly. 'I was going to phone his friend, Jane.'

'I think it's best that you do,' Snape said soberly, and he sat quietly as Sirius made the call.

'No idea,' Sirius said after hanging up, and took a couple of breaths to try to slow his heart down a little.

'Come on, Black. Where we he go?'

'He might have gone to the place he works at… one of the parks… the university's library – hang on, I'll see if he's taken my card.'

'No,' he said on his return from checking his wallet. 'He can't have gone there. Perhaps I should go down to the café he works at.'

'We need to find him,' Snape said, his loathing of Sirius forgotten in the more immediate trouble. 'This needs drinking soon, but…'

He broke off.

'But what?'

'Nothing,' Snape said. 'Just thinking aloud.' He did a half-hearted glare to stop any further questions, but it was the concern on his face rather than the glare that quelled Sirius.

My god, he thought irrelevantly. He really cares about Re.

'I'll run down to the café,' he said decisively. 'You stay here. I have one of those muggle mobile telephones – I'll write down the number, and you call me if he comes back.'

He suited the word to the action, grabbed his coat and then paused by the door.

'We'll find him,' he said with certainty, and then looked embarrassed and left quickly.

Snape was left alone in the flat to brood on the possible fates that had befallen Remus.

If something has happened, then it's all my fault, he thought miserably, and angrily smeared at a rogue tear that had found itself in his forbidding eye. If that has happened…

No amount of wiping could contain the deluge that followed that pioneering tear. Only the thought of Sirius coming back and seeing him crying could go any way to holding them back.

So it was then when he heard the key in the door and started up expectantly, his eyes were only faintly pink and Sirius was in no mind to notice them.

'He wasn't there,' he said, his face red from more running but filled with fear. 'And I guess he's not back.'

At that moment, Severus Snape resented him more than he ever had before. The reason? For being allowed to be worried about Remus, for being the one who might know where he had gone, for being the one who would be comforted for his loss if something had happened to the werewolf.