Jesse carried Ivy back to the car, the little girl refusing to let him go. And he didn't mind at all- he had missed her just as much.
"I'm going to sit in the back with you, Ivy J", Chloe decided. "I'll let these two lovers sit in the front".
"Don't say lovers", Beca glared. "Don't say lovers".
"Best friends and or lovers", Chloe said smugly. "Which one of you said that?"
"You have to know if was for fucking sure not me". Beca rolled her eyes heavenwards. "And I hope to God Jesse didn't say it either".
"I did not", Jesse blushed a little.
"Oh for fuck's-"
"Beca!"
"Don't say fuck, what's wrong with you?" Chloe wanted to know. "She's going to say it one day, and you wanna know who will be saying 'I told you so'? It'll be Aunt Chloe, isn't that right Ivy baby?"
"Ye".
"Oh God I will laugh so hard that day", Chloe mumbled, and Beca glared at her through the rear view mirror.
Ivy didn't leave Jesse's side for the rest of the day. She crawled into his lap as they played, and brought all her books for him to read, and laughed hysterically as he made cup after cup of pretend tea for them to drink.
It was everything that Beca had ever wanted. Ivy was so much more settled by having him around, and yet it worried her, because she knew there would be a part where they'd have to say goodbye, and that would destroy her daughter.
Maybe she'd made a mistake by getting close to Jesse. Maybe she'd made a mistake by letting Ivy get close to Jesse. But what was done was done, and there was no coming back.
They would just have to take it one day at a time.
Once Ivy was in bed, Beca and Jesse curled up on the couch, Jesse selecting a movie for the two of them. And Beca pulled a cushion into her lap, barely focusing.
It hadn't felt like home until Jesse arrived. Maine was her home, it was where she'd grown up and where she'd had her daughter and where her family was. Barden had never been home- it was where she came under duress to visit her father and stepmonster and Michael, the only person who made her summers bearable.
Chloe had always said that it was the people that made a home. But that was Chloe. She fit in anywhere, she made friends wherever she was. She was immediately comfortable in any situation, the complete opposite of Beca.
But maybe she was right. Maybe home was the people she was with.
And right then, tucked beside Jesse, with her daughter sleeping down the hall, it felt like home. The kind of home that Beca had only dreamed about.
"I missed you", Jesse whispered into the top of her head, kissing her gently.
"I missed you too", she mumbled, opening one eye. "We missed you". She yawned heavily, leaning against him. "Jesse?"
"Mmmm?"
"I'll really miss you when you go to LA".
"I'm not going to LA without you".
And she didn't argue, choosing instead to close her eyes again. Jesse wrapped his arms around her, ignoring the ring in his pocket.
The time wasn't right.
It was still dark when Jesse heard the telltale little footsteps, alerting him that Ivy was awake. He carefully rolled out of the bed, adjusting the blankets around Beca and padding out into the hallway.
"Hi Ivy", he whispered and Ivy startled, before breaking into a grin.
"Yesse!"
"Good morning, how did you sleep?" he scooped her up and she wrapped her arms around his neck, patting his chest gently.
"Ye". She shrugged.
"Shhhh". He cradled her gently. "Shhh, Mummy's still sleeping. We have to be quiet, so she can sleep, okay? She's very tired".
Setting ivy down, she ran towards the bookshelf, pulling down the box of Duplo her occupational therapist had recommended Beca buy. He eased himself down onto the cold floor beside her, flicking on the heater and basking in the warm orange glow.
"Hey Ivy", he said after a little while, holding up the little cottage he'd helped her build. "Should we make some pancakes?"
Ivy thought about that statement for a minute, before standing up and moving towards her play kitchen. She opened the doors and pulled out a frying pan, holding it out to him.
(He couldn't understand the people who said Ivy didn't known what was going on around her. That girl was smart- she just didn't have the words to tell them.)
"No, let's make some real pancakes, in Mummy's big kitchen. It'll be a surprise for Mummy when she wakes up".
She held her arms out to him in agreeance, and he scooped her up, depositing her on the bench.
It was one of his fondest childhood memories, cooking with his grandmother. Granted, he was not good at it, but she had so much patience with him. She let him crack the eggs and mix everything a lot longer than actually needed, and always let him lick the bowl. Whenever he stayed with his grandparents he was allowed to help in the kitchen, and they always made a treat for him to take home.
He wasn't a great cook. He could make soups and grilled cheese, but he could make amazing pancakes. So pancakes they would make.
"Big pancakes or little pancakes?" he checked, as he pulled a canister of flour out of the pantry.
"Lil", Ivy said finally.
"Little pancakes are my favourite". And he tapped flour to the end of her nose, making her scream with laughter.
When Beca woke up, her bedroom was already daylight, and she immediately fumbled for her phone, looking for the time. She could count the number on one hand how many times she had woken up after daylight since Ivy was born.
All of them had been since Jesse had come into their lives.
She could hear them laughing from the kitchen, and her heart swelled. She crawled out of bed, wondering what she'd be walking into.
"What are you doing?" Beca wanted to know, as she shuffled into the kitchen.
Ivy was sitting on the counter, flour dusting her cheeks, still rosy red with sleep. Her right arm was holding tightly onto her doll, and in her left she was wielding a whisk. Jesse was holding a spatula and a frypan was sizzling in front of him.
"Pancakes!"
"Yeah, good luck". She huffed, sliding onto a chair.
"She's already eaten two, so yeah, it has been a good morning!" he beamed at her. "Sit down, we're nearly finished. You've done well Ivy, I'm proud of you".
When Beca was pregnant, she'd envisioned mornings like that. She'd imagined Ivy helping to bake, and sleepy weekend mornings where they crawled out of bed late and sat around in their pyjamas until noon.
"Ivy eats pancakes now?" she raised an eyebrow at him in disbelief and Jesse laughed.
"Ivy eats pancakes". His grin was a mile wide and Beca chuckled, sliding into her seat at the breakfast bar. "Say morning Mama".
"Mama".
"Hi baby, did you sleep okay?"
"Ye". She hummed to herself, a tune Beca couldn't quite place. "Mama?"
"Yes Ivy?"
"Yesse home?"
"Yeah baby, Jesse's home".
Jesse lifted her down with one hand, carefully balancing the plate of pancakes in his other hand. "Want to go out and get ice cream later?"
"She doesn't eat ice cream".
"Well maybe she'll surprise us". He smiled at her and Beca shrugged, helping herself to a pancake. "Want to go for a drive somewhere?"
"Where?"
"I don't know". He shrugged. "Just spend some time getting lost around Georgia?"
Things like that weren't for Beca, but she agreed anyway. She finished her breakfast and while Jesse packed away the pancake mess, she dressed Ivy for a day out.
"Alright little girl, lets go!" and Jesse tossed Ivy into the air, making her squeal with delight. He wrapped his arms around Beca, smacking a kiss to the side of her head and making her groan.
When Jesse was little, he'd always fallen asleep in the car while his parents were driving. He was a consistent car sleeper. And even though Beca assured him she'd never been like that, both Beca and Ivy were asleep.
(It just showed him how overtired they both were. Both of them had slept a full night- despite Ivy waking up at the crack of dawn- and yet, ten minutes into the car ride, they were passed out.)
Jesse had always imagined a big, elaborate proposal, one where all parties involved would cry. But Beca wasn't that kind of girl.
He didn't really know what kind of girl she was, but she definitely wasn't a big, public proposal type girl.
She seemed more the quiet, at home, proposal type girl.
But then again, he had never questioned it before.
"What do you think, Billie?" he said, startling the dog in question. "Do you think she'll say yes?"
They ended up at the beach, again. It was just as cold as it had been on that first day, and yet it didn't stop Ivy running around until she could run no more. And when she couldn't run anymore, Jesse pulled her onto his lap and zipped her into his big jacket, making her giggle hysterically.
(Beca didn't want to be that person, but she took three dozen photos. They were so cute together it hurt her heart. And her ovaries.)
Despite the temperature, they went and got ice cream and sat outside at one of the rickety café tables, Ivy sitting between her mother and Jesse, with Billie at her feet.
"Alright, Mummy has strawberry ice cream", Jesse informed her, as he brought their cones to the table. "But I have chocolate. And any fool will tell you that chocolate ice cream is superior to strawberry, my little friend".
Ivy eyed the ice cream cones cautiously, before reaching for Jesse's.
"Ivy!" Beca laughed. "You're meant to be on my team! Mummy and Ivy, remember?"
"Yesse", Ivy said firmly and Jesse held out the cone for her to lick. She flinched at the cold on her tongue, before frowning a little at the taste.
"Yummy?" Jesse prompted, and Beca offered her the ice cream she was holding. "Do you want me to go and get you an ice cream, Ivy?"
Ivy licked it again before nodding firmly.
"Told you she would surprise us!" Jesse said cheerfully, passing the oversized ice cream to the three year old and advancing back inside the ice creamery to get himself another.
"You're just full of surprises, Ivy Jane", Beca said quietly, before sliding her phone out of her pocket and snapping a photo.
Beca Mitchell took a photo with Instagram: Ivy's first ice cream cone. Her world has changed #IvyJane
"Are you sure you'll be right with Ivy today?" Beca checked, as she rifled through her handbag. "I can tell Chloe-"
"We'll go to speech and then come home and have lunch", Jesse assured her, as he stuffed Ivy's drink bottle in the backpack Beca used as a diaper bag. "You and Chloe just go and have fun, okay?"
Early that morning, Chloe had called, almost begging Beca to spend the day with her. Chloe had big plans- to get their fingers and toes done, and then do some shopping, in preparation for Ivy's fourth birthday ("Its not until May" "May will be here before we know it! We need to be prepared, Beca!"). But what Beca didn't know was that Jesse had initiated the entire thing, in order to get Beca away from the little house. And while she had been hesitant, he'd been insistent. He was more than capable of keeping Ivy occupied for a couple of hours, he had reasoned. She needed time away from being a mum before she burnt out completely and was useless to Ivy.
"I know, I just-"
"Beca", Jesse said quickly, catching her by the waist. "Go. Have fun. We'll be fine. She's a good girl and we have a good thing happening".
"Okay". She relaxed her shoulders, smiling at the little girl playing with Lego on the floor. "She's a good girl, she really is. Can you give me a full report of how speech goes?"
"We've got a meeting with Cynthia Rose and Stacie at the end of the week, and Denise".
"I know, but she acts differently around them". She shrugged. "She's most comfortable with you and Stacie".
"Ma", Ivy called. "Go!"
"Jesus Christ, don't push me out the door or anything", she grumbled. "Bye Ivy J, I love you. Be good for Jesse".
"Bye Beca", Jesse laughed. "Say 'bye Mummy'!"
"Bye Mama".
Beca didn't even care that her kid was basically shoving her out the door in favour of her therapist. Her kid was speaking, and that was all she ever wanted.
"Where are you going?" Aubrey said suspiciously, as Beca walked into her father's house.
"Chloe's taking out to get a pedicure". she shrugged. "I hate getting my toes done".
"Because you're ticklish", Michael almost sang. "Who's got Ivy?"
"Jesse's inside with her". She smiled.
"They're really close, hey?"
"Aubrey, I don't even want to hear it".
As if on cue, a shriek of laughter broke through the air, making Beca smile.
(She would never, ever get sick of that sound. Her daughter's laugh was music to her ears.)
"Your kid is very loud", Michael commented. "I wonder where she gets that from?"
Beca had been the loudest child in the world.
"Hey Becs, ready to go?" Chloe sang, sticking her head in the door. "Hey Aubrey, hey Michael. Where's Ivy?"
"With Jesse", Michael said, winking in exaggeration and making Beca roll her eyes.
"Lets go".
"Hey Ivy", Jesse said, as he sat down oppsite her.
"Mook?" she checked, surveying her lunch.
"Oh sorry, of course I'll get you some milk". He stood back up, grabbing her cup from the counter. "Sorry babe, I forgot. Hey, what do you think about me marrying your mama?"
She looked at him inquisitively, biting into her sandwich.
"Do you know what that means?" he checked. "It means that we'd be a family, Ivy. I'd marry mama and I'd get to be your daddy. I'd love that, what do you think?"
"Dad?" she chcked.
"Yeah, I'd get to be your daddy. Would you like that? Because I'm only gonna ask Mummy if its okay with you".
She furrowed her brow, as if thinking his question over. "Ye", she said after a moment. "Ye".
"I'd love for us to be a family", he mused. "Jesse and Mummy and Ivy and Billie… and maybe one day a little brother or sister. We could live in Barden or Maine or LA or the back of Timbuctoo, and you know what? That would be okay, because we'd be a family.
"Dad", Ivy mused, setting down her sandwich and picking up a slice of apple. "Dad-deeeee".
"I'd like that, Ivy J".
And Ivy smiled her biggest smile.
"Just do me a favour, and don't tell Mummy, okay?"
When Beca came home that afternoon, Jesse and Ivy were asleep on the couch, a blanket barely covering them. One of Ivy's DVDs was on repeat in the player, and there was Lego strewn all over the hardwood floor. But Beca didn't care.
Because it was moments like that- coming home to find the two people she loved more than anyone, all snuggled up together without a care in the world- that she had always wanted.
"Have they been good, Billie?" she reached down to scratch behind the dog's ears, smiling. "They've probably caused all kinds of trouble. But that's okay".
Jesse stayed again that night, and he hated to be cheesy, but they were the moments he'd always wanted to have, once he had his own family. The three of them were watching Monsters Inc., Ivy wedged between them, balancing a bowl of popcorn carefully in her lap. The dog was lying on the floor in front of the couch, waiting for someone to drop popcorn, and outside it was pouring down with rain. In his eyes, it was the perfect night.
"Not even you, Beca Mitchell, can hate Boo". He laughed at Beca's attempt to hide her smile at the toddler on the television.
"She reminds me of Ivy", she said simply.
Beca rested her head against a cushion, smiling at the television screen and the way her daughter was laughing so hysterically.
How was she supposed to say goodbye when nights like that were just so good?
"She's asleep", Beca reported, coming back into the room. Ivy had fallen asleep between them while they watched Monsters Inc., and they had left her, with her head on Beca's lap and her feet in Jesse's.
"Beca", Jesse said quietly, wiping his sweaty palms on his sweatpants.
"Are you feeling okay?" she said in concern. "You're a funny colour".
(It would be just her luck that she and Ivy got him sick. Immune system of steel or whatever he had said, but that virus the girls had had could take down anything. It had been brutal.)
"Beca", he said again. "I want to be here".
"What?"
"I don't want to go to California without you. Or Ivy. And if that means I don't go to California then I don't go. And that's okay because you and that girl in there is all I need".
"What-"
"Beca, I want all of this. I want late nights and five a.m Christmas mornings and lazy Sundays in pyjamas. I want to drive around with you asleep in the car, and I want to go on adventures. I want to experience firsts and lasts with you. I want to grow up and grow old with you. I don't want to do this life thing without you".
There was such earnest in his voice that Beca wanted to believe him.
Beca swallowed hard, blinking furiously. "It's not easy", she croaked out. "It's really fucking hard and it's going to be really fucking hard. And I can't handle you leaving, Jess. Ivy won't be able to handle it and I don't want her heart broken. That can't happen. Its my job to keep her heart from breaking. I made that promise when Luke left, and neither of us could handle that again".
"I'm in this for the long haul, Beca. No one said it was going to eb easy, Bec, but it's gonna be so worth it". He reached into his pocket, pulling out the ring. "Beca Mitchell, will you marry me?"
She nodded silently, choking back sobs, and he slipped the ring onto her finger, pulling her closer and kissing her.
"Yes, you weirdo", she burst out. "Yes".
He beamed at her, punching his fist into the air like Judd Nelson at the end of The Breakfast Club.
"I was so worried you'd say no", he admitted.
Beca was the first to admit she'd never seen herself as the marrying type. But then again, she'd never seen herself as the motherly type either, and yet there she was.
"Mama?" Ivy said blearily from the doorway, rubbing her eyes and pushing her hair out of her face. "Yesse?"
"Hi baby", Beca said breathlessly, shoving Jesse aside and sitting up properly, blushing bright red (oh Christ, what if Ivy had walked out a few moments later?). "Come here sweetie, come over here to Mummy and Jesse". She held her arms out and Ivy padded over, dragging her doll by a messy pigtail.
"Hey Ivy bear", Jesse said quietly and she patted his cheek gently.
"Ivy", Beca said gently, as Ivy rested her head on her chest. "Jesse asked Mummy to marry him tonight, and I said yes, baby. Do you know what that means?"
"Yesse dad".
Beca's eyes widened in surprise, squeezing her tight.
"That's right! It means Jesse is going to live with us, all the time. He's gonna be your daddy, Ivy. He's not going to go home because he will be home. I love Jesse, Ivy, and I know you do too. I've always said that together we are all the family that we'd ever need but that was before Jesse. I didn't know we needed Jesse in our lives until we came to Barden. Aunt Chloe says everything happens for a reason and for once I actually think she might be right". Beca ran her fingers through her daughter's hair. "But you can bet your fucking bottom dollar we aren't going to tell her that".
Jesse chuckled, reaching over and stroking Ivy's hair gently, as she rested her head on Beca's chest. "We're gonna be a family, Ivy", he said quietly. "How does that sound?"
She nodded and Beca ran her fingers over her back gently. "We're gonna be a family", she repeated. "Mummy and Jesse and Ivy".
A part of her had always been a little worried that Ivy would slip up and call him 'dad' (because she would most definitely never hear the end of that from Chloe or Aubrey). She had been worrying about that since they moved to Barden- in Maine, the only male figure in her life had been Hal.
Barden had been good for both of them.
"We're gonna be a family, Ivy", Jesse said softly, reaching into his other pocket. "I have something for you too, Ivy. Its a ring, just like Mummy's. Because I'm not just getting a wife, little girl. I'm also getting a daughter. And I can't imagine my life without you in it, Ivy Jane. Can I be your daddy?" he held out the ring to the three year old and Ivy giggled as Jesse slid it onto her hand. "Perfect fit!"
Beca blinked furiously, her heart bursting at the scene in front of her.
(Everyone had said that getting a ring for Ivy was over the top, but Jesse was all about big elaborate gestures.)
"We're gonna be a family, Ivy J". Jesse wrapped an arm around Beca, kissing the top of Ivy's head. "Mummy, Jesse and Ivy".
"A family", Beca repeated.
"Yesse dad", Ivy said sleepily.