Assassin Drones: The original saga
Sex on the beach Arc. De Arimasu!
By Alex Young
Kululu's computer room, 3:00 am. September 13, 2002
"Well, Kululu. Have you come up with anything yet?" Keroro inquired impatiently as he paced around the computer room. "Well, yes. I've conjured up a report that 98.6% of all Pekoponians have a natural aversion to bad breath." Kululu declared. "So, it's only natural that we give every Pekoponian a bad case of what they call 'halitosis,' and then try to come up with a 'cure for bad breath.' They'll use it up so much because we'd have put bad breath powder in their drinking water. That's how the cash with start flowing right in for our invasion of PEKOPOOOON! Kero Kero Kero Kero Kerorincho!" Keroro decreed having given the green light for Operation: Bad Breath.
Little did the frogs know, however, that Gial was listening in on their conversation about bad breath. With that, the infiltrating amblypygid decided to bide his time, and wait for the manufacture of a prototype version of the bad breath powder. As soon as complete, Kululu and Keroro decided to hit the hay and begin production tomorrow. That's when Gial made his move dangling down from the ceiling on a silken steel line, taking great care not to trip any alarm sensors. In what amounted to a split second, Gial switched the original powder with a nitro glycerine laced placeholder in the same dark olive color rigged to explode upon contact. "Got the goods?" Raikoume piped up as Gial emerged from the Hinata's basement. "Let's go!" Kamikase exhorted as the three silently bolted out of dodge with precious cargo in hand.
In Naozi's lab board the Rapier, 5:00 am
"Yo, Nao! I got the vial you requested." Kuroga chirped with vial in mouth sauntering up to Naozi, with Aoryuzen right behind him. "Oui Oui, Monsieur! Zee behd bresth peudair!" Naozi exclaimed as he swiftly swiped the vial with one of his spindly front legs. "Ah shall now welk on eh much meur peutent version of zee behd bresth peudair!" He declared as he retreated to his lab with Aoryuzen still very curious about the prospect of bad breath. Once Naozi returned from the lab, he presented the new powder to Aoryuzen.
Upon presentation, Aoryuzen decided that if the keronians could concoct an absolutely horrendous smelling powder, that Naozi could produce a powder pill with a smell that was vomit inducingly toxic! "PeeYEW! It's perfect! However, we won't need to implement a really foul smelling substance until we actually locate the hive mind, as that's our next priority to ensuring that anyone who might try to slow us down won't pose any threat to us." Aoryuzen ordered as he snatched the vial containing the new sample sphere and stowed it within his carbon fiber cape for future use.
The Hinata residence bathroom, 6:00 am
Natsumi was in the bathroom about to get her teeth brushed after having taken a shower. She squeezed the toothpaste from its tube, and began to stroke her toothbrush against her teeth. Two minutes later would find her rinsing the aftertaste out now that her teeth have been cleaned of any plaque and food particles with water that had the bad breath powder dissolved into it. She wouldn't feel much of anything, at least not at first. With that, she shrugged it off, and returned to her room to get dressed. In fact, it wasn't until Natsumi entered the school building with Fuyuki that her bad breath really started to irritate her and everyone else around her.
"Hey, sis? Y-Your breath stinks." Fuyuki reprimanded nasally prompting his older sister to smell her own breath. "Oop. Oop. Baah." She then puffed out a vortex of carbon dioxide realizing the horrific genius behind Keroro's latest invasion plan. "Yeah, you're right! I really ought to go to the nurse for this!" Natsumi panicked gunning it to the nurse's office not wanting her own bad breath to bother anyone around her. "What's gotten into her, all of a sudden?" "Yeah, it's not like Natsumi to just run off like that." Two female students murmured to each other as Fuyuki shrugged it off hoping that her bad breath problem wouldn't get any worse.
Meanwhile, in Keroro's room
The Sergeant was awaiting a status report form Dororo concerning Natsumi's bad breath problem. \So far, so good, though I would regret causing her pain from bad breath and all./ Dororo reported as usual. "Ke ke kerokerokero it's okay! Operation: Bad Breath should really come under way very soon." Keroro decreed as he ordered that bad breath powder distribution nozzles be hooked up to the river system by all four of his teammates for maximum effect. Tamama, Giroro, Kululu, and Dororo all placed distribution nozzle kits within their 4 assigned hot spots for the day across a 30-55 square mile radius, so as to help fuel the growing bad breath epidemic Keroro is concocting within the safety and comfort of his room.
The local game center in Nerima, 6:00 pm
Daikage was hanging out at the game center seeing as how everyone decided to close up shop for a day off, today. Having fun and playing games was also very important not only for blending in behaviorally, but also in some aspects of teamwork, hand-eye coordination, reflexes, and the like. After having beaten a few high scores, Daikage and company returned to the Playboy restaurant that's not only their base of operations, but also the very place where they live. Daikage sauntered up to the office to answer a rather urgent sounding phone call. "A bad breath epidemic? You cannot be serious. Really? Okaay, but it had better be worth at least your $100 asking price." Daikage warned curtly reluctant to take his client up on his offer as he hung up his cell phone.
"I just got a phone call. Apparently, a mayor at a neighboring ward is suffering from what he calls 'a bad breath epidemic,' and we need to test the veracity of such a claim. Nagato, you're coming with me. We're going to one of the waterways where our client suspected might be the cause." Daikage debriefed as Nagato fired up a Ferrari F50 in the underground garage. Daikage and Nagato left the parking space, ducked and weaved in and out through any traffic along the way, and stopped by the aforementioned waterway with all the delicacy, precision, coordination, and control of any ballerina. Daikage and Nagato exited the super car with a sense of apparent urgency with the latter extracting a chemical reaction measurement kit and his laptop.
The kit itself was self contained in a stainless steel suitcase similar to the one pulled out and played with by Ranma back in Brazil some 8 years ago. Nagato then made his way down the waterway to collect a sample from the river being contaminated by those same spray nozzles that were set up by Keroro's A.R.M.P.I.T. platoon several hours ago. He then placed the water into the reaction chamber upon having fired up the laptop to hook the USB cable into one of its ports, before having spat into the chamber, and closed it. The measurement app associated with the kit was designed to measure the rate of reaction, detect the type of reaction, and of course detect the chemicals themselves within the powder being dissolved into the water.
Upon the timer alarm having gone off, Nagato summoned Daikage to his side. "What I have found in the chemical reaction was that the bad breath powder is not a powder at all, but rather clusters upon clusters of microscopic gelatin capsules designed to dissolve into human saliva. The capsules themselves contain several parts per hundred millionth's worth of hydrogen sulfide, a substance that's highly toxic to humans, which causes the odorous smell with every breath taken." Nagato elucidated as the brains of the four man outfit inviting Daikage to take a whiff, who backed off for a minute away from the stench. "Uuuggh, guess that explains all the smell." Daikage then retched perturbed at the results as Nagato uploaded them into an email directed towards the mayor's inbox, not leaving the scene without dismantling the local chemical distribution module.
The Tendo residence, 8:00 am. September 16, 2002
"In the wake of the bad breath epidemic slowly plaguing all of Japan, scientists at the Tokyo University claim to have come up with a brand new super tooth paste. The tooth paste itself is designed to combat bad breath, or at least slow down the epidemic for which it is named after." The news anchor stated in the T.V. as Nabiki, already having brushed her teeth, was loafing around reading some shojo manga. Ranma was already getting his teeth brushed with the aforementioned tooth paste with the tube featuring a super hero graphic along the side. This was indicative of a highly aggressive, EX.W.A.T.I. sponsored marketing campaign designed to get the product into as many homes as possible in order to slow down the Sarge's invasion plan
"RANMA!" A shadowy Happosai sneered from the ceiling prompting Ranma to look around a little. "What're you doin you old freak?" Ranma spat in reply. "My bad breath gun is gonna make you sorry you've ever crossed me, Ranma!" Happosai challenged hurling a few vorticies of bad breath at Ranma, who nearly succumbed to the awful stench. However, as Happosai closed in, Ranma turned the tables in grabbing his lecherous senior citizen opponent by the legs, swinging him towards the sink, and began brushing his teeth and tongue! A couple of minutes later, Happosai broke himself free, but Ranma's confidence did not waver at this transpiry, and for good reason.
Happosai shot from his mouth not the bad breath from before, but a whole lot of froth resulting from Ranma's oral hygene attack. Ranma brushed the froth on his face off still smiling as Happosai tried to conjure up as much bad breath as possible to no avail. "What's the matter, old freak? Run outta breath?" Ranko smirked upon washing her hands in cold water, flashing her chest as a consolation prize. Happosai immediately leapt forward, only to get knocked all the way into kingdom come. "Aah, that takes care of that." Ranma breezed upon washing his hands in hot water, this time. With that, Ranma, along with Soun and Genma, set out to help the local police stop the bad breath epidemic dead in its tracks.
Upon reaching another distribution module, Ranma and company immediately began to sense the antibarrier that was in place. "Remember, boy. Any martial artist is always aware of the environment surrounding them, and therefore perfectly capable of using it to the best of their ability." Genma lectured. "Right, there's a sort of invisibility field surrounding the module, do you see it, son?" Soun queried of Ranma. "Yep, I see it right over there!" Ranma replied pointing his finger at the module. This was because Ranma's battle aura senses, along with that of the patriarchs, can help them see right through any antibarrier. With all that said and done, Ranma destroyed the control box, and the patriarchs dismantled the nozzle distributor, along with everything else.
Keroro's room, 12:20 pm
The Sarge had been wearing a rather worried expression on his face ever since the moment that EX.W.A.T.I. beat him to a race for the cure for bad breath. Natsumi simply stormed in as usual, pounded Keroro to a pulp for what he did, and shut down his invasion plan right on the spot with a few keystrokes on the computer. Natsumi then set off to do Kululu in as well, which she did before returning to whatever she was doing before. "That was unexpected, to say the least." Venono sighed watching that little moment from the ceiling, only to retreat from the Hinata family home and report it all to Zyururu.