Hey, looky Ig! It's the RDG readers!

Iggy: ...I don't see anyone.

Me: Oh, right, I forgot, you're blind.

Iggy: -_- Hush.

Me: Well, it's been a while hasn't it? Might I just say, I'm extremely, for real, totally sorry?

Iggy: You are dumb. You are really dumb. For real.

Me: ...Okay, Antoine Dodson, why don't you just go hide yo' kids, hide yo' wife and hide yo' husband, 'cause I've heard they're rapin' errbody up in hurr.

Iggy: Ooh, nice comeback.

Me: -grins- In other (sad) news, let's have a moment of silence for a very under-rated actor. R.I.P Leslie Nielsen.

Iggy: He's dead? Surely you can't be serious!

Me: I am serious. And don't call me Shirley.

Travis: -pops in- Leslie Nielsen would have been proud of that setup. -disappears-

Me: Now, a moment of silence?

...

...

...

...

Iggy: Moment over?

Me: Yeah. Alright, that's basically it for things to say at the beginning of a chapter other than...

Thanks to: Saint and Fang, and all of you for sticking with me even though I've been AWOL.

Dedicated to: All of my wonderful readers. ^_^

Fang's POV

It was quiet. Too quiet.

Yeah, I know what you're thinking. 'Geez, Fang, cliché enough?' Actually no, I could throw in a LOT more, I just don't feel like it. Not to mention, it was the truth. When my eyes snapped open the next morning it was dead silent in our small hotel room. Now, I am an early riser, but I didn't even hear the sound of Max's calm breathing in my ear. I didn't even feel her lying beside me anymore. What the…?

I blinked a few times and looked down at the empty bed beside me, and then around the empty room I was in. Where had everyone gone? I sat up slowly, doing another 360. Where were they? I checked the clock; the big red block letters glaring at me told me it was just after ten in the morning. They didn't leave…did they? No, they wouldn't leave without me…

I looked up as the hotel room door clicked and opened, Max's head popping in. She looked at me and smiled, entering the room and closing the door behind her. "Good," she said, "you're up."

"Yeah," I said. "Where's everyone else?"

"Free breakfast in the lobby." She told me. "We were going to wait until you got up, but the kids got tired of waiting."

"Sorry, I don't know why I slept in so late." I said, throwing the blankets off of me and standing up. Max walked over to me, running her small hand through my unkempt hair.

"It's okay; it could actually work out for the better." She winked. "Now they won't get as suspicious as they do when you and I just so happen to leave the table at the same time. I came back up here to finish packing up so we could leave." She pressed her lips to mine gently. "But it seems I've gotten distracted…oh well…"

"Someone's a bit…frisky this morning." I chuckled as she forced another kiss on me. She laughed.

"What gives you that idea?" She asked rhetorically, pushing me back down on the bed. "The best part about all of this? I have the only room key…and you're already half naked." She kissed me hungrily as her hands slid down my bare chest to the top of my jeans and…

"Fang get up before I beat you over the head with Nudge's hairspray!"

You're kidding me…you're freaking kidding me. I was about to get laid, by the girl of my dreams, and it just hadto, not only be a dream, but I just HAD to wake up. You're joking. This sucks.

"What were you dreaming about?" Angel asked curiously.

"Yeah, you were breathing heavy and stuff…we thought you might've been having a nightmare so we woke you up." Gazzy explained. "Were you having a nightmare?"

I groaned and sat up. "Uh, yeah, nightmare. That's it." Everyone was looking at me, concerned. "But I'm fine. What time is it?"

"A bit after seven." Max told me. "Mom came in a bit ago and told us to go ahead and get ready to leave."

I threw the blankets off of myself and stood up, proceeding to get ready for the long car trip ahead.

450 songs, 5 fights, 12 sneaked kisses, 6 non-sneaked kisses, 321 sexual implications and 20 Air Heads later, we were finally home. Home sweet home. We all got out of the car, stretching and what-not, before walking to the trunk to pull our bags out.

"Hey, Fang," Dr. M called, tossing her keys at me. "Go unlock the door, please?" I caught the keys coolly in one hand (be jealous) and nodded, turning on my heel to go towards the front door. As I neared the large oak door I was reminded of something, something that had annoyed me before we left this place, something that had slipped my mind for a while…Something…Something, but what was it?

THE DISC!

I remembered, the blackmail disc Max had burned so very long ago of me, dressed in women's clothing, and make-up, doing the Numa Numa dance. So. Embarrassing! I had to get that disc back, and this was my chance! I unlocked the front door quickly, opening it to a dark hallway. I flicked on the light and made my way through the house silently. I heard the others come through the front door, letting out happy sighs and hyper squeals. Whose bright idea was it to give them Air Heads?

…Oh wait…mine…ignore that last statement, and this one.

Anyway, I ninja'd (yes, that is a word now) my way up the stairs and onto the second landing, looking over my shoulder dramatically to make sure no one was following me. Coast clear. I slowly opened Max's bedroom door, switching the light on and sliding in, closing the door back behind me. Should I lock it? No…that'd look suspicious…and creepy. Can her door even lock? Oh well, it doesn't matter. What if someone comes up and finds out I locked myself in Max's room, how creepy would that look? What would they think I was doing? Gah! Focus, Fang, focus.

I walked over to her desk, fingering through her collection of CDs and DVDs. If I were a blackmail disc, where would I be? That's when I saw it. The purple casing stood out from the other cases, the black, bolded words screaming at me.

FANG-NUMA NUMA BLACKMAIL- DO NOT TOUCH (ESPECIALLY IF YOU'RE FANG)

That silly, silly bird-girl. Oh how I love her. I smiled, smacking the disc against my hand the way people in those action movies do when they find what they've been looking for. Sliding the case into my pocket I exited the room, joining my loving family downstairs in the family room.

"Hey, what're we watching?" I asked, sliding into my usual spot on the couch, between Max and Iggy. Max smiled at me, rubbing my knee with one hand. I knew that smile and gesture combo…That smile and gesture combo neverturned out well…Ever. I narrowed my eyes at her, wondering what she was up to.

"America's Funniest Home Videos." Ella answered me from the other side of Iggy. "For some reason Max was really intent on us watching tonight."

Max's grin widened.

"What's going on, Max?" I asked, keeping a straight-up 'don't-mess-with-me' tone. Max laughed quietly and muttered two words that made me fear for my life and/or sanity. "You'll see."

Though I was a bit antsy, wondering what in the world could make Max so anxious for us to see this. Of course, most of the videos were hilarious. People could be such idiots sometimes, and of course, like any other human beings (or, at least 98%) we all found the pain and suffering of these people hilarious.

One of the videos was of a guy sitting in front of a cake; it was quite obviously his birthday. His friends had lit the candles and sung Happy Birthday to him. Then, they began to spray silly string all over him…and the silly string hit the candles…and the silly string caught on fire. As did the man. That one was more 'epic win' than funny.

Another video came on, a classic that we had all seen before, of a chubby little boy screaming on a ride at an amusement park, sliding down in his seat, truly terrified. We all guffawed at the terror on his face.

That one was followed by another video…a video that made us all stop laughing and just stare at the screen for a moment. Except for Max, who was snickering beside of me. On the screen before us was a teenage boy, about 15, his face covered in make-up, and you could see the straps to a red dress…with rhinestones down the side.

She did NOT send that video in…

A few giggles could be heard in the background along with a light click, before a song started playing. A song by the name of Numa Numa. The boy started lip-synching and pumping his arms.

…she sent the video in…

I stared at the television screen in horror. Utter horror. I could not believe it. I could almost SEE the grin on Max's face spreading as we all sat there watching the horrible scene unfold. Well, horrible in my eyes. OBVIOUSLY the people around me found it quite hilarious, since they were all laughing their arses off. Gazzy was literally rolling on the floor laughing, having fallen from his perch on the arm of the couch. I turned to face Max, my eyes narrow. "Maximum fucking Ride, if I didn't love you so much and know I'd regret it the moment your heart stopped beating, I would stab you 52 times in the heart with a McDonald's stroon, cut you up with a rusted knife and behead you with a Whopper. You. Are. So. Lucky."

Max stopped laughing enough to look at me with those sweet brown eyes of hers. "Fang, just calm down. Don't do anything rash now." But by the last word of her sentence she was in hysterics again, re-joining everyone else. I was the only one not laughing. I was fuming. This was not funny.

"Max," Ella said, still giggling a bit. "Y-you may want to run now."

And run she did. One look at my face and Max bolted from the couch, launching herself out the living room window. I followed her, quick on her tail. We soared through the sky, her speeding through the night and me just trying to keep up and catch her. She slowed down a bit, and I took the chance, diving at her legs. Of course, though, she had a plan all along. She pulled her legs in, doing a flip mid-air and spiraling from my reach. I swooped in a large arc back up, straight towards her. I caught her around the waist; her wings slapping me in the face as I flew up higher, then dove back down.

"FANG! Let go! I'm sorry, I just couldn't resist!" She cried out, laughs cutting into her sentence every now and then. "Please don't murder me!" I slowed down as we neared the Earth, though I was slightly distracted by her flailing figure and we both went tumbling across Dr. Martinez's back yard. She let out a cry of surprise as we rolled across the grass, finally stopping with her on her back and me on top of her, pinning her down. "I'm sorry, Fang." She said earnestly, looking up at me with her big, brown, hard-to-not-believe eyes. I sighed, rolling my eyes.

"I know, I know. But seriously? America's Funniest Home Videos?" I asked. "Why?"

She shrugged. "Why not?"

"It's embarrassing?"

"Fang the Brick Wall is embarrassed?"

"…a little bit."

"That's adorable. Look at it this way, at least no one knows it's you."

"You irk me."

"But you still love me."

"Somehow…"

Max grinned at me and I leaned down, leaving a light kiss on her lips. I stood up, grabbing Max's hand to help her up as well. Intertwining our fingers, we walked back into the house, where we found the others finally calming down from her laugh.

"Hey, Max, you're in one piece!" Ella cheered.

"Fang loves me too much to hurt me." Max told her.

"Right. I'll just be making her life a living hell until I think I've had enough revenge." I smirked.

"This should be fun…" Max muttered. "I'm going to take a shower and go to bed."She turned to go upstairs, but I grabbed her arm.

"Wait," I pulled the disc from my pocket. "You can have this back…I don't think there's much sense in me stealing it from you if you've already done the worst with it."

Max smiled and took the case from me, continuing her way upstairs.

Now for announcements AFTER the chapter.

Iggy: Yes, what do we say now?

Me: Hmm...so, any of you ever asked me a question that I never answered in a Q&A? Still want it answered? Hop on over to Formspring. We have one now, feel free to ask anything, and I'll answer it(as long as it's not too personal). Link on my profile. Along with links to other websites I'm on if you feel like stalking me.

Iggy: Ever feel like punching a rock? Well...that's probably not smart...so why don't you just scream into a pillow instead. It's safer. Less hurtful.

Me: -facepalm- Anyway, we've got to head off to school now. So...

R&R?