Chapter 25 "Wait"

"Wait. Wait till you doubt no more. Wait till you know for sure. And you will wait too long. He will be gone." -- Get Set Go

The green leaves and warm weather of what passes for summer in Scotland were lost on Severus as he prepared to unwrap the package he had received that morning in the Great Hall. He had saved it till the end of the day. His Defense Against the Dark Arts students seemed to have progressed in their ability to be dunderheads, not in their studies. At least their final exams would be in four days. Severus had been looking forward to a quiet summer for months.

Hermione had gained access, with Potter's help, to the Ministry files, so much of the research for her expose on the misuse of magical creatures was no longer conducted at Hogwarts. She would return just for a week at a time to examine the less political tomes in the Hogwarts' library and to consult Severus on revisions of her chapters. He had found himself looking forward to her visits. Her intelligent company was quite soothing after the idiots he suffered in the classroom.

He had found it quite pleasant to peruse her unedited chapters after a long evening of grading mundane papers. It was so refreshing to contemplate the ideas of someone who had something between her ears. And it was quite nice to mark up a paper without having to attach a grade to it. He wondered why he stayed at Hogwarts. The familiarity? Not exactly. So Hermione would know where he was? No.

He sighed. It was the press. Hogwarts ensured that he would be left in relative peace. Even teaching Longbottom in Potions was preferable to having to hide from Rita Skeeter and her colleagues.

Snape had not left Hogwarts since he and Hermione had received their second Order of Merlin, First Class, for saving Harry and Ron. The Ministry celebration had been unbearable. Hermione had asked him to dance twice, but he had refused. Snape was not about to give anyone an opportunity to comment on his dancing abilities. He sat with Molly and Arthur. Snape remembered the occasion only too well.

"Knees aren't what they used to be eh, Snape?" Arthur said.

"Now, Arthur, Snape's a few years younger than you. Maybe his knees haven't given out yet," Molly countered, kindly.

"I am not inclined to dance," Snape said disdainfully.

"Well, the children are." Arthur chuckled. "Just look at them. Ginny has been so happy these past few months, even being apart from Harry."

"Yes, her letters home are so much cheerier than when he was at St. Mungo's. And Ron is quite a help to George at the shop. They are expanding to Hogsmeade over the summer. Then Ron's going to begin his Auror training with Harry. I'm so glad they decided to take some time before starting that. They have been through so much… we can't thank you enough for helping save them." Molly reached for Snape's hand and gave it a squeeze.

If it had been anyone but Molly Weasley, Snape would have hexed them. But he had no quarrel with the witch who had been less frosty than the other Order members. She had always had a batch of his favorite biscuits when he came to the Order meetings at Number Twelve. Those biscuits were probably the only reason he hadn't strangled Sirius.

"Hermione mentioned that Ron was helping George." Snape was unwilling to be thanked again for working on the Umbridge case, as the papers called it. He saw Ron pull Hermione closer on the dance floor. A small spark of rage filled his chest, but he quickly dismissed it.

He was not about to remain interested in a witch who had clearly chosen another. Arthur was right. They were all children. He could remember her buck teeth and her bushy hair and her persistent know-it-all attitude. He remembered her at eleven. Those memories squelched all desire he might have had for her.

Hermione had caused his world to fall apart. If he never told anyone, the memories of this past autumn could remain…pleasant. However, one word to anyone, and he would just be a dirty old man who took advantage of a former student who was cooping with the traumatic loss of a boyfriend in a coma. He could see the headlines now. Snape groaned aloud.

"Are you alright, Severus?" Minerva had joined the table while his thoughts had wandered.

He grunted noncommittally. The sweet notes of a slow love song floated through the room. Minerva stood and took his hand. "Let's show these children how it's done." Before he knew it, Severus was waltzing with a witch he once claimed would be the death of him. He couldn't help smiling. It was so improbable. Dumbledore would have loved this.

"I will keep you dancing until you promise to stay at least another year at Hogwarts, Severus."

"I didn't know you were allowed to torture your staff, Minerva. Whose side of the war were you on?"

"Promise?"

"One more year." Snape promised. "But that's all, Minerva. No matter how many waltzes I dance with you."

"Just as long as you do dance with me, Severus. You're a divine dancer."

Snape smirked. "Flattery will get you nowhere."

Minerva just laughed.

So once again, Snape was facing a quick respite before another term of dunderheads. Still, life had become simplified with only the workload of his classes. There was no Ministry project, no clandestine meetings, no Dark Mark, no spying. He could almost deal with the students. And if he felt like he was missing something, it was probably just the adventure—or so he told himself.

All of the Death Eater trials were over, and Severus knew his life would never be as stressful as it had been for the last nineteen years. Even teaching Defense seemed less important. There was no Dark Lord to conquer. Then again, there were still Umbridges. Perhaps his work would be useful after all.

He returned his attention to the package in front of him. He quickly dispensed with the twine and brown paper to reveal a large green tome three inches thick with the title "The Rights of Magical Creatures—The Extended Edition" in gold.

So it was finished. She would have no excuse to return to Hogwarts. Of course, Severus had known she had completed the chapters. Hermione had told him two weeks ago that she would be taking a final copy to the publisher's office. He had expected this to be the contents of the package. He knew all this and still a part of him mourned the loss of her visits. He shook himself out of his reverie and poured himself a Scotch, looking forward to spending the evening examining the book in depth.

Sitting in front of the fire in his office, he opened to the first page. Hermione had penned:

To Severus,

Thank you for all the work you put into this book. I can't tell you how much your guidance and friendship means to me. Let me know when you're free for afternoon tea.

Hermione

There was a blot of ink before the word friendship. Severus knew she had debated what term to use. He chuckled. Hermione would have worked hard to stay within the bounds of propriety even in a private message.

He turned the next page, which was the public dedication.

This extended edition is dedicated to Severus Snape, who ensured its existence. It is also dedicated to the initial members of S.P.E.W.

Snape stared at the parchment in shock. She had dedicated the volume to him and not just his version but every extended edition! It was amazing. It was insane. Could it mean that she actually... he squashed the thought before it reached completion. It was easy to see that he had blown their…connection out of proportion.

Considering his past, it was only natural that he would have taken up with any witch who could follow his intellect and would welcome his advances. But that was behind him. It was just infatuation. Now that she was not around all the time it was easy to see that. He took a deep sip of his drink. Minerva was right, he told himself: Hermione belonged with Ron, someone her own age, someone whose knees worked. Yet for some reason his whiskey suddenly tasted bitter.

It was a few weeks later at the true beginning of the summer that Severus found himself pouring Hermione another cup of tea at Harrods's. He had no idea how she had persuaded him to come here of all places. He must have been quite tipsy last night. "What do you mean when I retire?"

"Really, Severus. Don't get so nettled! I just said that when you retire I'm sure your party won't be as cramped as Professor Slughorn's was last night."

"Because I am incapable of having friends?" he teased.

Hermione rolled her eyes. "You are incorrigible. I only meant you would have the good sense not to invite every witch or wizard you ever taught. I couldn't find you or Professor McGonagall last night at all!"

"I assure you I was there," Snape replied dryly. "As there are a good many students I never wish to see again, I would hardly want them celebrating my retirement."

"Well, I'm sure you have at least another twenty years left of terrorizing students." Hermione grinned. "I wasn't saying you were old."

Snape looked down at his cup of tea. He knew she hadn't meant it that way, but he felt it. "And how are Weasley and Potter?"

"Off to Auror training camp as of this morning. They'll be in the wilderness somewhere for the summer. I believe they'll be in Brecon Beacons, but they aren't allowed to say. 'No communication with the outside world.' Harry and Ron could write a book on wilderness survival after the Forest of Dean; I'm sure there's more to it than that."

"And what would the book say?"

"Bring Hermione Granger and a large supply of food. Ron got very dissatisfied with my meals."

Severus laughed, a rich sound that caused her spine to tingle. "You should have made him cook," he said.

"Believe me; you didn't want to eat it when he did." Hermione laughed. "It's easy to laugh about it now. It seems so long ago."

"So many things do." Severus whispered while stirring his tea. Then he changed the conversation. "What will you do this summer?"

"I've still got a few more circuits to make to publicize the book. I have enjoyed meeting people but mostly they come to see a 'war hero,' not to learn about the injustice of wizarding law."

"Are you still at your parents'?" Severus offered her another scone, which she took with a guilty face. She hardly needed the calories, but they were so good.

"Delicious," she proclaimed. "No, I have my own flat in London now. The boys wanted me to live with them in Number Twelve, but I just want to be on my own for now. I haven't been there much with the promotional tours, but I think I'll be alright. Ginny's staying there this summer while they're gone. She's started training so she doesn't have much free time."

"So you're all alone?" Snape refused to look her in the eye.

"Not at all. Luna's often in London, and Neville is apprenticing with a Herbologist at—"

"Yes, yes. Sprout told me all about it last night." Snape waved for her to continue.

"And you're close by—well, not exactly close, but you're not at Hogwarts. And of course Bill and George and oh everyone," Hermione finished in a rush.

Snape raised his eyebrow. "I was thinking we could publish our notes on the potion to halt Nagini's venom if you could spare the time."

"Oh, yes! That's brilliant!" Hermione's face lit up. Severus smiled. Perhaps he had been hasty to dismiss his feelings for her. He could wait out a clumsy Weasley.

"Severus, I do think you should consider redecorating Spinner's End. The rooms are a good size, but they need more light. You should get new furniture too. I think you'd be happier here if it looked more… homey." Hermione bit her lip. She knew she had overstepped her boundaries.

But Snape just nodded. This was good. She was concerned about his surroundings. Of course, it might have been because she had stopped by for tea once or twice a week all summer. He regretted having to return to Hogwarts to prepare for classes. But perhaps he could find someone to fix up the house during the school year. He had never used any of his teaching wages… yes, this would be perfect.

"How is your flat? Does it also need sprucing up?" Snape's expression made her smile.

"Don't pretend like you're angling for an invitation. I've invited you over several times. It's not my fault you're always too busy to see the first place that is my own. But no, it's quite perfect now. The sitting room's walls are lined with books—such a cheap alternative to painting or wall-papering. I bought a kitchen table last week. Mum found some lovely curtains that match the sofa." As Hermione continued to describe her flat in detail, Severus let his thoughts wander.

She was so much more confident after only three months of being independent. Though Hermione had vanquished foes since the tender age of eleven, living on her own was slowly giving her a quiet sense of purpose and confidence. She had begun working for the Department for the Regulation and Control of Magical Creatures only last week. Hermione still lacked a definite direction. Severus thought that perhaps she would find it in the next year. Then perhaps he would leave Hogwarts, perhaps she would be ready to choose. Perhaps, he hoped, she would be ready to choose him.

But Snape found he wasn't in any hurry to push things. It was the reason he had not been to her flat. He felt that would be too personal somehow though he was happy to entertain her at Spinner's End. Yet that was not quite it either.

For all of his courage in spying, Snape had no more confidence in dating than he had when he'd lost Lily. The age gap still intimidated him. While wizards did live moderately longer than Muggles, that fact rarely stopped witches and wizards from marrying at about the same age as Muggles and holding the same ideas as to generational gaps. He was certain, deep down, that should Hermione choose him now, she would regret her decision before she herself was thirty. And the idea of such a desertion was unbearable to him.

Author's Notes: Again, merci beaucoup to LC and Shuldham. Thanks for reading and for taking the time to review my story.