REMINDER! REMINDER! REMINDER!
WARNING: I know that there are spoilers floating around about Season 2. Please remember, I hate spoilers. If anything I write resembles those spoilers in any way, I don't want to know—and it is pure coincidence (which HAS happened before). Please respect my wishes and do not refer to them in any reviews.
Thank you! XOXO Sharon
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This story takes place after the events of A Thin Line Between Chuck and Nate. Concepts from later episodes may be used.
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Saturday, February 13th. 8:00 am.
"Dad, look, I really think that April is too soon," Nate said firmly to his father.
After leaving the gala early the evening before, he'd headed out and got lost in his thoughts for a while. Seemed he did that too often nowadays, but he had a lot on his mind.
First and foremost was Blair. It was odd how finally being able to forgive her and acknowledging that he still loved her had given him so much relief. It seemed like it was taking more and more effort to be angry. And he was still angry—at Chuck and at Matt—but he and Blair had made up and that was rejuvenating his spirits even if things weren't back to normal between him and Blair yet.
"Son," Howie began, "Sit with me." He motioned to a bench.
They were on the grounds of the rehab center, indulging in one of their traditional morning runs. They had slowed down enough for Nate to finally address the other problem that was bothering him. He figured if he'd been able to take care of his problems with Blair, he could take on anything. This gave him the courage to speak his mind about his father's early release from the rehab facility.
Nate nodded and sat down hesitantly, wondering if his father was going to try to worm his way through an explanation once again. The Captain was good at speaking to Nate like he was twelve. He never seemed to want to acknowledge that Nate was, in fact, seventeen.
"I know this seems soon, but the doctors know what they're doing. They wouldn't sign the release forms if they weren't sure about this," Howie explained.
Nate sighed. He knew that, but somehow it wasn't reassuring him.
"So the doctors are convinced," Nate said. "But that's not me. Convince me."
Howie turned to face forward on the bench before lounging back. He seemed to be lost in thought for a moment.
"What do you want to know?" Howie finally asked.
"Why did you… you know what? No, I don't want to know why you did this—took those drugs, embezzled that money. I know why," Nate said. "I want to know if you know why."
Howie glanced over at Nate, slight surprise on his face.
"I mean, look Dad," Nate said, leaning toward his father. "We keep beating around the bush and not talking about it, but it's time. Especially now. You told me you needed a pick-me up. You told me that you're innocent. We both know that if they didn't have a case against you, this wouldn't be happening. I want to know why you think you did all this."
"Maybe you should be a psychiatrist instead of a lawyer," Howie said with slight amusement, though his eyes conveyed the seriousness of the situation.
"Don't change the subject—as if you'd ever let me be anything but a lawyer," Nate added with a smirk.
"Son," Howie began slowly, "this isn't easy for me… but I've had a lot of time to think and… the pressure just got to me."
"Pressure?" Nate asked, encouraging his father. "What pressure?"
"I think that I didn't start to put it all together until I thought about you," Howie said.
"M-me?" Nate asked, startled.
"Like the lawyer thing," Howie said. "I've been pushing you towards this life. Dartmouth, law school, Blair. And you know why I do it?"
Nate didn't answer, just waited for his father to respond. He had a feeling what Howie said next would be very important.
"Control," Howie said finally. "I have no control over my own life. I love your mother very much, but loving your mother and living with your mother and her family are two entirely different things. She holds the purse strings. I got everything I have from her—the job, the house, the yacht. I didn't have to work for anything. But you, you are the one thing I have some control over. Its like, I came up with the perfect most successful future for you and then pushed you to do what I wanted… because I had nothing else to live for…"
Nate realized midway through his father's confession that he had forgotten to breathe. He took in a deep breath and stared at his father, not really sure what to say now.
"Nate," Howie looked at his son. "I'm sorry. You are the best son a man could ask for and I'm sorry for trying to control you. I'm sorry for not letting you live your life the way you want, making your own choices. So… while I'd rather you go to Dartmouth, become a lawyer, and marry Blair… you need to make your own choices… so you don't end up regretting everything… as I do."
Nate saw his father's eyes get a little shiny. He reached out and grabbed his hand.
Howie clasped it gratefully, knowing that it meant Nate was willing to accept his apology and forgive him.
After a long moment, Nate cleared his throat.
"I was wrong," Nate said.
Howie looked at him, quirking an eyebrow.
"April isn't too soon."
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Gossip Girl here, and where were you last night? The place to be was the Palace, and not necessarily the ballroom. C and S both hosted after parties, separately of course. Everybody who is anybody was in attendance and circulating between the two. Who's ranked first? Well, that's for you to decide.
Seems B is making a play for her former title, and succeeding. And do we spy a potential new king—MC to be exact. Don't worry dear subjects, he left by himself—B has learned something from her dethronement after all, no more slut-fests here.
E squared anyone? Normally our two little E's wouldn't rate a mention, but while mini-vdW was making an impression on C, little-E was making an impression on B. Do we see a new lieutenant joining B's ranks? And what about C and mini-vdW? C showed new baby bro a glimpse into his world—a big glimpse if S's red face was any indication.
But S's face couldn't compare to H's—the girl that would be queen. With everyone at S & C's, nobody bothered showing up at H's. Ah, another night on the UES—parties, sex, betrayals, drugs, alcohol, did she, did he? Oh, and did anyone see F's Prada backpack or H's sterling silver pen? Or should I just ask little J? Her five finger discount just became very sticky.
You know you love me, XOXO Gossip Girl
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Saturday, February 13th. 12:00 pm.
"So, how was it?"
Blair tried not to flinch at the question as soon as she heard it. She wasn't in the best of moods. She was in Dr. Sherman's home office. She was forced to come by herself because Serena got stuck taking care of Eric. Serena was so busy worrying about Dan and Blair—as well as playing host to the party Blair forced her to throw—that she hadn't realized that Eric didn't join Elise in the van der Woodsen's suite. Instead, he'd gone to the Bass suite and been subjected to Chuck's brand of fun.
When Serena had finally gone looking, she'd almost killed Chuck with a pool cue before dragging Eric home.
Blair had a pretty good time… after Matt left. As much as she was glad he filled in as her date at the last minute, he was starting to get a little too clingy. Unfortunately, she'd agreed to meet him for dinner Saturday night before he finally left. But, it was part of her plan to have a few "mock" dates with him, just as a front to show that she was truly over Chuck and Nate.
And for all intents and purposes, she was. No matter what she admitted to Serena.
It didn't help that one of the first questions out of Isabel and Kati's mouths after Matt left was, "So, how was it?", just as the shrink was asking now. It had taken Blair a moment to realize that not only had Isabel and Kati completely forgiven her, they also wanted to know what she thought about sex. She couldn't believe that they had the audacity to ask for details now, after turning their backs on her.
She hadn't dignified the question with an answer, but that didn't stop her from thinking about "it". She forced thoughts of "it" out of her head as she gave her approval of Elise. She was impressed at the way Elise fit right in. She had taught her well in preparation of this night. Kati and Is had already started to feel a slight affection for the girl as well, and when they realized Elise had Blair's full approval, Elise was the hottest thing at the party next to Blair.
Blair was careful though. She didn't want anyone to guess at Elise's involvement with the Jenny takedown. She made sure to pretend that she was meeting Elise for the first time that evening. Kati and Is didn't notice anything wrong—neither did anyone else.
"Blair?" Dr. Sherman asked.
"How was what?" Blair shook herself out of her reverie.
"How was the big dance? Last week you mentioned it," the doctor reminded her.
"Oh," Blair murmured. She hadn't wanted to talk much last week since she had fought Serena tooth and nail about coming, so she spouted off about anything and everything that had nothing to do with boys. "It was fine."
The doctor leaned back with a considering glance. "Blair, I noticed your friend isn't here today waiting for you."
"She couldn't make it," Blair answered quickly. Serena was probably cleaning up puke at the moment.
"Correct me if I'm wrong, but I got the feeling you didn't want to be here last week, but she wanted you to be," the doctor said. She didn't want to put thoughts into Blair's head. She wanted to get Blair to open up without leading her anywhere.
Blair nodded.
"And yet, she couldn't make it this week and you still came?" the doctor formed the statement as a question, indicating without words that she wanted an explanation.
Blair sucked in a breath. "Well, I realized that she was right."
"About?" the doctor made a note, nodding encouragement.
"I need to be here," Blair said before looking around the office.
"Why do you need to be here, Blair?" she asked. This was all part of reaching the patient. Using what they say and forming it into a question to help them connect their thoughts easier.
Blair thought a moment before finally answering. "Because my life has gone completely out of control and I want to regain control without hurting myself." It was pretty much the standard response she gave to doctors. She had that one memorized and it usually gave Dr. Sherman a spark of amusement before they continued. It was Blair's way of letting her know that she'd had a relapse without actually saying the words.
"When did you first start to lose control?" Dr. Sherman asked with a little quirk to her lips. As much as Blair needed help, there was some relief in the familiarity of her responses.
Blair couldn't look at the woman. This woman was a professional and she had spent a lot of time talking to her, but she was also an adult. And Blair felt really uncomfortable talking about such things with adults.
"Blair, you know that as long as you sit in that chair, you will never be judged. Just relax and respond when you're ready."
Well, Dr. Sherman did know her well. She knew all about Blair's reputation and how important it was to her. She knew that Blair cared about what other people thought about her. She knew that purging wasn't just about control. It was also about maintaining the perfect weight in the eyes of society—and her mother.
Blair struggled to get a hold of her self, struggled to find a way to admit the truth for once when all she usually did was lie to her self.
"Well, you know that I had… a problem… during the holidays… because of my parents," Blair began.
The doctor just nodded.
"My boyfriend," Blair finally bit out the words. "Well, my ex-boyfriend. I lost control when I lost him."
Dr. Sherman frowned as she made a note. She knew that Blair had a long time boyfriend. She was partly worried about that relationship because she often thought the two were too young to have such a commitment to one another. Now it seemed as though the two had broken up. She could see where the loss of control would come in. Blair reveled in familiarity. Change made Blair lose her equilibrium.
"Why did you lose him?" she asked.
"Because… because I… because… I…," Blair stumbled through her words.
"Take your time, Blair."
"He broke my heart. He didn't love me. He-he… I did everything right. I don't know why he just couldn't love me," Blair said, finally opening up.
"And… suddenly everything was gone! Everything that I knew, it was over. And so I escaped… I tried so hard to just escape from it all, and I did…." Blair trailed off, closing her eyes.
"By purging?" Dr. Sherman asked.
Blair shook her head. "I have this… this… I guess you could call him friend? Well, not anymore," Blair said with angry conviction. "But we were friends and I went to him and… and…" she trailed off again.
"When you're ready Blair," the doctor said softly.
"We hooked up," Blair finally just said simply. "We hooked up and then we were together. He had these feelings for me and I didn't know what I felt for him. Anyway, he screwed up, or I screwed up… I'm not even sure anymore. All I know is that it ended badly and my boyfriend wanted me back and so I went back to him."
"You said your boyfriend was now your ex?" the doctor drawled out without asking what happened.
"My… friend made things impossible. See, he was my boyfriend's best friend and we were keeping the whole thing a secret… and he was angry, so he held the entire thing over my head. He just wouldn't let it go," Blair said with a huff.
"Why do you think that was?" the doctor asked, curious.
"Well, he told me. Because he had feelings for me and he was hurt," Blair said.
"I see," the doctor said. "And when did he tell you this?"
"Look, this isn't the point. The point is that he told everyone about us. Everyone at school. Word got out and it was so horrible! And when my boyfriend found out, he ended it. Just like that! He didn't even ask me what happened! He didn't care!" Blair cried, her frustration showing.
"So, back to this friend, how did that make you feel? That he did that?" the doctor asked.
"I didn't know it was him at first, I thought it was someone else, so I-I-I just felt angry," Blair explained. "Angry and humiliated."
"So how did you feel when you found out it was this friend who was responsible?"
Blair quieted for a moment before finally responding, "Betrayed."
"I see," the doctor murmured before making another note.
"What do you see?" Blair asked.
"Let's move on," the doctor insisted. "What about—"
"No, I want to know what you see!" Blair insisted. "What do you see? He did! He betrayed me! We fixed things! We made up. He forgave me for going back to Nate. I forgave him for calling me those horrible things and for rejecting me when I needed him the most. We were back together. Everything was going to be perfect! And he pr-promised me. He promised me that he wouldn't hurt me again. And he knew! He KNEW! He knew that I didn't know it was him. And he didn't tell me. He didn't tell me…"
Blair couldn't stop crying.
The doctor waited for her to calm down, allowing the silence to permeate so that Blair could get control of herself.
"What about the ex boyfriend?" the doctor finally asked when Blair's sobs subsided.
"What about him?" Blair asked.
"You got back together with him?"
"I already said that. Then he dumped me. Because of the… other guy who I wasn't even with anymore," Blair explained spitefully.
"It seems you have some anger," the doctor prodded.
"Of course I'm angry, I just told you! He betrayed me!" Blair snapped.
"Not for the friend, for the ex," the doctor said.
Blair was silent, thinking about her words.
"Well, I guess…" Blair said.
"Yes?" the doctor encouraged.
"He didn't let me explain. Well, not then. This week he did. Took him a month, but he finally came to talk to me," Blair said.
"And how did that go?"
"Well, besides him spilling the beans on Chuck's betrayal? He called me a whore."
Blair looked at the doctor, gauging her reaction.
"I slapped him."
"How did that make you feel?"
"Shocked, astounded…"
"And?"
"… I guess… out of control…" Blair murmured.
"Why did you feel out of control, Blair?"
"Because I would never do anything to intentionally hurt him. Hitting him was losing control… but I didn't deserve those words. That's what he called me… the… the… friend. Well, not in so many words, but basically. And everyone at school was calling me that, and for so long I just felt like such a whore… and now he did it… and I… just lost control. I was doing so well. Yes, I'd been… my condition had been fluctuating, but I was dealing with it, albeit in secret… and…"
"Nate, Chuck… I can't control any of it. I can't control either of them. I can't make Nate love me. I can't make Chuck care about what his actions will do to me. And now they both want to make up and forget any of this mess ever happened. And I just feel so out of control. Once I'm ready to give up on Nate, he decides to forgive me? And how can I possibly forgive Chuck? Wouldn't that be opening up my self to all this again? Once bitten, twice shy, right?"
"So why are you here, Blair?" the doctor wasn't going to agree with anything Blair said. She was going to have to figure some things out on her own.
"Because I've been hurting myself again," Blair parroted.
"What's it going to take for you to stop hurting yourself?"
"Control… and losing a few pounds," Blair parroted.
"But you just said you can't control these things," Dr. Sherman reminded her. "And there's nothing wrong with your weight, Blair."
"Yes, there is. And if I can't control them, I just won't have anything to do with them," Blair said.
"The two boys?" Dr. Sherman asked.
"Yes," Blair said firmly. "I won't have anything to do with them anymore."
"Let me ask you a question."
"Okay?" Blair said warily.
"I'm not here to be your relationship counselor, but I am here to help you sort out your feelings. How do you feel about each of these boys today?" the doctor asked.
"Well, Nate forgave me last night and I think he wants to get back together… but I don't want to rush into anything again… and I want to figure all this," she gestured around the office, so the doctor knew she meant her problem, "out before I get involved in anything emotional again."
"And the other?" the doctor asked.
"He keeps apologizing. Which is odd because he never says 'I'm sorry' for anything… and I know he wishes he'd never humiliated me… but how can I forgive someone who destroyed my life for his own amusement?" Blair asked.
"His own amusement?"
"Well… no. For revenge, but to Chuck Bass that is very amusing," Blair said.
"You know him well?"
"Too well," Blair rolled her eyes. "In fact, if I wasn't the one he'd done this to I would have found it amusing too."
"Really," the doctor said.
"Well, yeah," Blair sighed. "I probably should have expected him to do something like this… I just… I just didn't think he'd ever do it to me."
"Why not?"
"Because…" Blair said.
"That's not an answer," the doctor said with a soft smile.
"I… I trusted him," Blair finally said.
"You said you felt betrayed," the doctor nodded.
"It was more than that," Blair said.
"How so?"
"He was the only one left…"
"I don't understand," the doctor said.
"He was the only one left who hadn't done it," Blair finally said, looking down.
"Done what, Blair?" the doctor asked.
"Betrayed me," Blair whispered. She looked up at the doctor, her eyes wide as she finally admitted why knowing the truth about Chuck had hurt so much.
"Everyone else did. My boyfriend, my best friend, my mother, my father… everyone that was important in my life," Blair continued in a whisper, not wanting to speak these words too loudly. "And even though we were fighting and he made me so mad, I would never have thought that he would do this to me because of everything we'd been through. He said some of the worst things he could possibly say to me and I said some pretty horrible things to him… but to hurt me this way… I just… How could he? Didn't he care at all about me? We were friends before we were more. Didn't that friendship mean anything to him? How could he…" Blair swiped at her eyes.
"No, of course not," Blair said quickly, shaking her head. "He didn't care. Of course he didn't. He's Chuck Bass. How could I forget?"
"I can't tell you what his feelings are, but I think you've made a bit of a break through here," the doctor nodded.
"How?" Blair asked confused.
"As long as I've known you, I know that you have a hard time admitting things to yourself unless you say it out loud. As long as it's inside, you can pretend it doesn't matter or never happened. You just admitted that this second boy is important to you. You said that everyone important in your life has betrayed you and he was the only one left who hadn't. You included him in that group," Dr. Sherman said.
Blair clamped her lips together and turned her head away. She had basically said that, hadn't she? Why did she decide to come to these sessions? She didn't want to admit things like that ever again!
"I asked you to tell me how you felt about each of those boys and you said that you didn't want to rush anything with the first, and you said that the second one is important to you," the doctor said. "Anything else?"
"Well, of course Nate is important to me too!" Blair said quickly.
"Yes, I know," the doctor nodded. "But you didn't know that about the other one before."
"Ah! You're starting to confuse me," Blair said, holding up a hand.
"Why is that?"
"Because… because… I don't know! I don't want to talk about them anymore. I just want to forget about them. I don't want them to be important… especially not Chuck," Blair spat out his name.
"And how do you feel knowing that you can't forget about them? And knowing that they are important to you?" Dr. Sherman asked.
"Like I want to throw up!" Blair said sarcastically and flippantly.
"But you can't throw up, Blair," the doctor said. "You're not allowed to do that anymore. So, what are you going to do instead?"
"Ignore them," Blair insisted.
"Well, you can ignore them physically, but you just said you can't forget them…what else can you do?"
"I don't know!" Blair snapped.
Dr. Sherman was silent for a long moment, allowing Blair time to think about the question some more before continuing.
"And that's what we need to work on for next time," Dr. Sherman finally said softly. "What else are you going to do? And, I didn't forget what you said about losing a few pounds."
Blair rolled her eyes.
"Blair, there is more to life than being perfect. There is more to life than being perfect in the eyes of everyone around you. But it's going to take more than me telling you that for you to believe it. Perfection, control, it's all part of your problem. Until you realize that they aren't that important, you will never fully stop. For now, we should schedule a session on Wednesday and you will eat regular, healthy meals without purging. You told me you came by yourself because you knew you needed help. I know that you will work that much harder toward not giving in."
Blair frowned at her. She had to be perfect. Why didn't anyone understand that? And she wasn't going to eat regular meals. What did that mean anyway? She just wouldn't eat so much that she'd have to throw it up. That was all there was to it.
"How's four thirty on Wednesday?" Dr. Sherman asked as she flipped through her scheduler.
"That's fine," Blair said, almost pouting.
"We'll see you then."
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"Go away, Chuck," Blair snapped as she stomped down the street, back ramrod straight, on the verge of panic. She didn't know how he found her, but as soon as she started her walk a familiar black limo drove up beside her. She hoped that he had no idea what she had just been doing.
"I'm trying to figure out what Blair Waldorf could possibly be doing in that brownstone on a beautiful Saturday afternoon. Nothing's coming to me, so I figured I'd ask," Chuck replied glibly from his limo window. And he thought Serena was supposed to be with her… he made a mental note to avoid Serena for a few days. Things must not be going well with Eric.
"Go away, Chuck," Blair snapped again.
"Need a ride home?" Chuck offered.
"I'll catch a cab," Blair said, not sure why she was still answering his questions. She should be ignoring him. She knew that Dr. Sherman wouldn't reveal anything about their meetings, but that didn't mean Chuck couldn't snoop and find something out. She would rather move to France permanently that let Chuck have hold of her deepest darkest secret.
"But there's a perfectly functional limo right here," Chuck smirked.
"Go away, Chuck," Blair insisted.
"Can we just talk? I know you hate me, but last night—,"
"Last night was a mistake!" Blair turned around and glared at him. "I told you before and I'll tell you again. Being with you was the worst mistake of my life! You kissed me last night, but so what! We're over. We're nothing now and we never will be again. Go away Chuck!"
"See, I'd believe you, except you have said that before and we did get back together," Chuck managed to give a snarky reply even though he was frozen inside at her words. He knew she was only trying to hurt him and he wouldn't give her the satisfaction of knowing that it was working. "And you kissed me back, don't forget that part."
"Chuck," Blair said very seriously, changing tactics. "This is getting kind of pathetic, don't you think?"
"What?" Chuck asked, incredulous.
"I mean, come on. I don't want to be with you. It's over. Why do you keep crawling back like some love sick puppy? Move on. I have," Blair said. She hoped her words would serve their purpose. She just needed him to leave her alone. Maybe the moving on part would help with that too.
Chuck was quiet for a long moment. Humiliation was flowing through him at her words because he really was acting like a fool. But he also felt anger.
"Nate." Chuck finally managed to utter the name. It wasn't a question. He just wanted confirmation. If she had "moved on", that was the only conclusion to reach.
"Matt," Blair said simply, denying the Nate accusation.
"Matt. Matt?" Chuck asked, raising an eyebrow. "You're kidding right?"
"When have I ever been known to kid?" Blair deadpanned.
"You can't possibly…" Chuck started to deny that she could feel anything for that jerk.
"You know what? I don't know," Blair laughed. "And you know what else? It doesn't matter. Because it's none of your business."
She turned and walked away.
Chuck tried to hold back any final words. He knew he was acting like an idiot. He knew he should just walk away. He'd gambled big and he'd lost. He only had his pride left now, but he just couldn't let her walk away—not without saying anything else.
"I said I was sorry, what else can I do? Huh, what?" Chuck yelled at her back. She didn't even bother turning around or acknowledging his words, just kept going.
Damn it! He shouted inside his head. He was so tired of watching her walk away from him. He'd screwed up once again, and it seemed so much more final this time. Before he had something to hold over her, something to hold onto her with. Now he had nothing. No threats, no fights, nothing.
Why couldn't she just put this in the past? Why couldn't she just forgive him and let it go? They'd been friends for too long for this. She'd been able to forgive Serena and Nate, but she couldn't forgive him? He hadn't even cheated on her!
But, no… he'd done something much worse, and he knew it. He knew how important reputation was to her. He understood the school's hierarchy. He understood her, better than anyone else. He'd set out to hurt her in the worst way he possibly could and he'd succeeded.
No amount of groveling, apologizing, or intense kisses—apparently—was going to make her forgive that.
Oh, and then there was the part where she loved Nate and Serena. She had never loved him, not even as a friend. He was familiar to her but not important. Just like she always was to him until Victrola. She was never going to forgive him because she was never going to love him.
He somehow had to accept that and "move on" as she said.
He just didn't know how to do that.
And maybe he didn't want to.
Maybe he didn't want to give up…
No matter how much she begged him to.
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Saturday, February 13th. 1:00 pm.
"Can we talk?"
"Now is not a good time, Dan," Serena said, trying to catch her breath.
"Am I, uh, interrupting something?"
"Well, in about five minutes you could be interrupting me murdering Chuck!" Serena groaned loudly.
"What'd he do?"
"Not only did he get my brother drunk, but he got him plastered. Passed out drunk! Eric's been recovering all morning. He can't keep anything down and he has a lovely gray tinge! He almost got Eric in a fight and he spent all evening dirtying his mind with whore stories! My brother is supposed to be pure and innocent and… and… sweet… and, ah!" Serena screamed in frustration.
"Chuck did all that?" Dan said.
"Yes," Serena huffed. "Anyway, how's Jenny?"
"Not good," Dan sighed. "She's so mortified. She's actually scared to go to school on Monday. I've tried to tell her that it will all blow over quickly, but even she knows I'm lying. She saw the Gossip Girl posts, and she's already gotten a couple calls from other people asking where their stuff is. Even if something wasn't stolen and was just lost, they're all going to be looking to her for it. Chuck really did a number on her. Mind if I join you for that murdering?"
"Dan…" Serena said, her voice hesitant.
"Oh, that's right, as much as you hate him, you'd still defend him in this, knowing what he's capable of," Dan said. "I forgot about that. I just thought I'd check in on my girlfriend, you know, the loving supportive one who trusts me."
"Oh, Dan, I trust you," Serena said, sighing softly as she replaced the cold rag on Eric's forehead. "I just don't think Chuck had the opportunity to set this up."
"But he threatened her," Dan reminded her.
"Yes, but how would he get those things? I mean, Kati's tiara? Kati would have taken it home and put it away in her private drawers until the dance. I know Kati, Dan. And I also know that Kati and Is haven't had anything to do with Chuck since Blair's humiliation. How did Chuck get that tiara, Dan? Just answer that for me. If you can answer that, I will believe you that Chuck is responsible. This has nothing to do with liking or, ew, defending Chuck, and everything to do with the truth, okay?"
"I guess you have a point," Dan said begrudgingly.
"I will not, however, accuse or infer—again—that she took those things her self. But I will try everything I can to help her on Monday. I'll be there for her and have her back when you can't do it."
"What about Blair? I thought you needed to focus on her as much as possible?" Dan asked.
"After last night and today? Blair's holding her own quite well. She'll understand," Serena said, though she was unsure.
The fact that Blair had agreed to go to the doctors on her own—well, she had to because Serena couldn't leave Eric—meant that Blair was willing to work on this without Serena dragging her every step of the way. She wasn't going to abandon Blair, of course. She would make sure that Blair went to her appointments and be there for her as much as possible…and make sure Chuck and Nate left her alone… and keep an eye on Matt… okay, so helping Jenny while helping Blair was not going to be easy, but she had promised Blair and she knew Dan needed help.
"I really appreciate this, Serena," Dan said. "Just… make sure you're okay first, okay? You can save the world, but one soul at a time, deal?"
Serena smiled as she bit back a sigh. Dan was right. She'd never worried this much about other people before. She was used to having her own fun and not even realizing that something bad was going on in someone else's life. Now, though, she was actually learning to be selfless. It was definitely different and made her feel better about her self… but at times it could be stressful.
Like, how she'd do anything for Blair, but Serena and Jenny weren't that close. This will be a huge favor for Dan, one that he didn't even ask for, but she had to do it because it was the right thing to do… didn't she?
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Saturday, February 13th. 8:00 pm.
If Blair had to remind herself that this was just for appearances sake one more time, she was going to scream. Well, not really—because that would be horribly unladylike and draw all the wrong kind of attention.
Matt Cunningham was proving that no amount of his last name would ever make him cunning. He was boring and unsure of himself and that Blair couldn't stand. He was trying to show off this devil may care persona, but she could tell that he did care what she thought of him. Which she would normally find cute, but in his bid to act the way he thought she wanted, he was coming off as a cross between Chuck and Nate. Or rather, he spent one minute pretending to be Chuck and the next pretending to be Nate. She couldn't tell if he was full of himself or moody and brooding.
And she'd had about enough.
"More champagne?" Matt asked.
Blair just shook her head, holding her hand over her glass to further make her point. He seemed about ready to pour more anyway.
She didn't understand why he was acting this way. He wasn't nearly as nervous the night before. Was it really nerves?
He poured another glass for himself, appearing even more nervous as he tried to relax and drink.
He didn't know what his problem was. He was fine last night, but then they were surrounded by friends and didn't actually have to talk to one another. Now, it was just him and Blair, and he was ashamed to admit to himself that he didn't want to say anything that she would think was stupid. So he stumbled over his words, agreeing with everything she said, and let her lead the conversation… but she wasn't talking now and he didn't know what to do or say next.
"So…" Matt said before tilting his head, not making eye contact.
"Look, Matt," Blair said, finally laying the cards all out on the table, "I don't know what's wrong, but you either want to say something or you don't know what to say, which I don't understand considering we had no problems at the gala or even the party after. So, talk, and tell me what's on your mind… if there is something on it." She didn't mean to sound crass, like she thought he was dimwitted, but she couldn't help it.
Matt miraculously stopped shifting and made full on eye contact. "Last night two of your former boyfriends both made plays for you while we were together. I didn't say anything to you, just took it up with them, but I want to know. Are you still interested in either of them?"
There! She wanted to know what was on his mind, so he'd say it. He'd been meaning to avoid the subject. She was with him, that should be all that mattered… but he knew next to nothing about her except she was gorgeous, he wanted her, and he didn't want to screw this up.
Blair didn't like being grilled on her thoughts and feelings, especially by someone who knew absolutely nothing about her.
"Matt, I will not ask you about your past relationships or dalliances, and I'd rather you not ask me about mine. Just know that I'm here with you, not one of them, and if you want me to continue to be here with you, you're going to have to speak. This is the getting to know you part of the evening. I can't get to know you if you aren't talking," Blair said flippantly.
Matt considered her words for a moment before setting his glass down with a firm thump.
"Check, please," Matt said loudly to a passing waiter.
Blair leaned back in her chair, a wry smirk on her face. "Well, I guess the evening's over then." She wasn't terribly disappointed that he was ending the evening early anyway. She'd rather go home and call Elise and find out if Eric called her.
"No," Matt said, shaking his head, a devilish glint forming in his eye. "The evening has just begun."
"Really," Blair said. She decided she might like the look of that glint in his eye. She had to admit, her interest was piqued.
Matt signed the receipt and quickly handed the bill back to the waiter.
"You want to get to know me? Your wish is my command," Matt said, a wide smile spread across his face as he stood and offered his hand to Blair.
Blair took it and let him pull her out of her seat and they were off.
Blair couldn't help but wonder if Matt was about to redeem himself or fall flat on his face. Either way, it was going to be amusing.
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Saturday, February 13th. 8:30 pm.
"Where's your sister?" Rufus asked as he flipped through the mail. He'd just arrived home from a Saturday showing and was about to start dinner.
"In her room," Dan said.
"You two aren't fighting again, are you?" Rufus almost whined in frustration.
"Uh, no dad, she's just… had a bad day," Dan looked at his watch. Well, it was probably twenty five hours now, but who was counting?
"Well, maybe this will perk her up," Rufus said, pulling a white envelope off the bottom of the pile. "It wasn't in the mailbox, no postmark. It was lying in front of the loft door, just waiting for someone to find it."
Dan frowned and reached to take it from his father. He recognized the shape of the envelope. He knew it was another card from Jenny's secret admirer. He managed to murmur something to his father as he made his way to Jenny's room.
He knocked briefly before he entered without waiting for a response.
"Dan, can I just die in peace?" Jenny said, moaning. She hadn't moved from her spot under the mounds of sheets and pillows all day long.
"You got another letter," Dan said softly.
Jenny paused and didn't say anything for a long minute. Finally she moved a pillow from her face and looked at him. "Burn it."
"Don't you want to know—" Dan started.
"What it says? No. It's probably just Chuck telling me how much he enjoyed my embarrassment. Maybe he'll even tell me where to find Melissa's silver bracelet and all the other things that I've supposedly stolen," Jenny snapped while trying to hold back tears.
"Well, I want to know. It could be a clue," Dan said before sliding his finger under the flap.
Jenny pulled the pillow back over her face and yelled a muffled scream into the material.
"That's weird," Dan said.
"What?" came the muffled reply.
"It's just the letter 'T' in a circle," Dan said, slightly bewildered.
Jenny didn't say anything for a few moments, then she jumped up and snatched the other letters—her "proof"—off the nightstand. She spread the cards out, opening them. "Give me that," Jenny said, reaching her hand out to Dan impatiently.
Dan gave her the card and went to sit next to her.
"See this?" Jenny said, pointing. "This little letter under the signature is an 'A'. That's what made me first start to think it was Nate. Plus, the rest of the letter sounded like him, what with the whole wanting to avoid a scandal thing. The second card has the letter 'R' under the signature, which made me further believe that it was Nate. The third card didn't arrive until last weekend and I couldn't make out the letter because someone spilled milk on it—"
"Hey, I told you that was an accident," Dan explained quickly.
"But, either way, I couldn't make the letter out but I was sure it was a 'C'… but if the fourth letter is a 'T', it must not have been," Jenny explained. She moaned in frustration.
"So what is Chuck trying to say? I mean, if I'd gotten the correct letter last weekend I might not have thought it was Nate anymore…," though she knew that was a lie. She would have come up with some way to make it appear that Nate was the secret admirer…mainly because she wanted it to be him.
"Ah, I'm so confused. And I don't know what this third letter is, so what's the point in even trying to figure this out. It was a joke, a hoax. Haha, the joke's on me," Jenny said, getting more and more frustrated. She flung herself back. "He got me. He said he would, and he did. Now nobody is going to want to talk to me ever again! Oh, unless its to ask for their stuff back."
"Let me see it," Dan said, reaching for the milk stained card. "Jenny, this doesn't look like a 'C' at all."
"Well, I know, I guess I just hoped it was…" Jenny trailed off before planting a pillow on her head again.
"It looks like an 'R' or maybe an 'A'…." Dan thought for a moment. "That's it. It's an 'A'."
Jenny sat up again, eager to see if Dan really had figured out the puzzle. "But if it's an 'A'…. what's arat? That makes no sense."
"Arat… get it? A rat," Dan said with emphasis. "Two words."
"Bah, he went to all the trouble of sending me one more letter just so I'd know why he did this to me? I already know! He's mad because I rated him out to Nate, duh!" Jenny mumbled. "Didn't take a genius to figure that out."
"When did you get the first letter?" Dan asked. Serena's words were echoing through his head for some reason.
"A couple weeks ago… before the PVD Party, I think," Jenny mumbled.
Dan was silent for a long moment as he flipped through the cards, rereading everything, looking for hidden meaning.
"When did Chuck say something to you?" Dan asked suddenly.
"Uh, Monday," Jenny said.
"Are you sure?" Dan asked.
"Yeah, like I could forget," Jenny said sarcastically.
"But… why would he say anything to you if he'd already started to send the letters? Couldn't that have made you more suspicious? He'd already set this up. It was like he was warning you about it, giving his plans a chance to fall through… that doesn't sound like Chuck," Dan explained.
"But…" Jenny said, thinking about everything. She sat up and started re-reading the cards too. "I got the first card after the first time Gossip Girl posted something about me and Nate. That's why I thought it was him. Nate was on my mind."
"Serena said she didn't think Chuck was able to do this…" Dan said. "I didn't want to say anything because I thought she was defending him, but now…"
"Dan, really, why would Serena defend him?" Jenny said, somewhat disgusted. "She'd have to have a good reason to say that."
"Well, if Chuck didn't do it, then who did?" Dan asked.
"The only other person who might call me a "rat" would be…"
"Blair," they both said her name at the same time.
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To be continued…