I know it's late for a Sunday, and I literally just wrote half of this now, which is why I won't be ranting tonight.

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Things are getting really angsty now and we're finally at the climax. Enjoy!

"James, I can't do this anymore," I admitted. I was sitting on the couch in his living room, and he sat next to me with his guitar. He told me he was working on some song, and for the past few minutes we'd been sitting here, me silently, and him strumming his guitar, trying to get the right rhythm.

James whipped his head to look at me, and he looked truly terrified. "You don't mean-" he gestured between the two of us.

"No, James, no," I said, scooting closer to him. "Not that." He let out a relieved breath, then set his guitar down next to him.

"Then what is it?"

"I can't live this lie anymore," I choked out, blinking my eyes to keep the tears away. "It's fucking killing me."

James nodded, then pulled me to him and I buried my head in his chest.

"He-he's leaving tomorrow and I can't do this anymore. I need to tell him, James. I have to."

"Shh," he cooed, rubbing my back. "We'll tell him, I promise. Just calm down, and when you're ready, we'll go over to your apartment and tell him."

I shook my head and sniffled. "I can't now. I'm too stressed. Tomorrow morning."

"Okay, darling. We'll tell him tomorrow."

It was midnight when I woke up, and I was lying on James' couch, my head on his chest and his arms around my waist. I don't remember falling asleep, much less ending up in this position. The TV was still on, some college football game on, and I didn't remember the channel being changed either. I yawned, and moved a little to get more comfortable, and then winced, feeling a horrible pain in my back. I closed my eyes and forced myself to sit up, and James woke up, seeing as though I was using his body to brace myself.

"You okay, babe?" he asked, his voice raspy. He sat up, rubbing his eyes, and I nodded as I stood up slowly.

"Yeah," I said, even though I had no idea what was going on. "My stomach just hurts." He nodded, figuring it was probably just morning sickness, and I went down the hallway to the bathroom and shut the door behind me. I flipped on the light, grimacing at the brightness, but I didn't feel woozy. But I felt weird and uncomfortable. I unbuttoned the jeans I was wearing, then pushed them down and my stomach dropped at the sight of blood staining my underwear and the dark denim.

"Oh my god," I said to myself, and felt my throat closing up. Please, please tell me this wasn't what I thought it was going to be.

No, it couldn't. This was probably normal. But why was I in so much fucking pain right now? That couldn't have been normal, especially not for someone who wasn't even a month pregnant yet.

"James!" I screamed, my voice breaking from tears. "James!" I shakily brought a hand up from my thigh, just to make sure I wasn't bleeding from anywhere else, and I gasped and fixed my jeans.

"Autumn, what's wrong?" James yelled, and I could hear him practically running down the hallway. When he appeared in the doorway, he looked terrified, and I fell into his arms and tried to speak, but I couldn't. "Why is there blood on your hand?"

I looked up to him, breathing heavily, and got out to words, "Hospital. Now." And then his faced paled, and he seemed to just know what I was thinking. The same horrid thoughts.

"Okay, we'll get you there," he said, his voice scared and I tried to walk with him, but I just couldn't, instead crying out in pain. James picked me up in one swift movement, although he was careful not to touch my hips and thighs too hard.

I clung onto him and buried my face in his shoulder, sobbing into him. "James," I begged, in so much pain. Nothing had ever hurt this bad in my entire life.

"I know, love. I know. We'll be there in ten minutes," he promised, and then I was being put into his car, and I closed my eyes and let the pain get the best of me.

I woke up again to a steady beeping, and at first, I just laid there, awake, but my eyes still closed. I was so, so tired and my throat was dry and I felt empty. And then I knew what had happened.

The worst thing that could happen to an expecting mother. Oh, god, I thought but pushed the tears away.

I heard voices, a lot of different voices, and could clearly make out James' as he said something in a soft tone. Then I heard Arianna's, and I was happy she was here. But then I heard my dad's, and my stomach dropped.

He didn't even know I was pregnant, but now here I was. He didn't even know that he was going to be a grandfather. God, what kind of daughter was I?

I opened my eyes slowly, and glanced over to my right and saw James sitting next to my bed, in a chair, his hand grasping mine tightly, which I didn't realize until now. His eyes met mine, and we shared a look, shared a silent conversation, and all he did was nod and I knew this was over. Everything was over. I might have thought my life was ruined before, because I was pregnant, but now it was even worse, because that baby that was growing inside me was dead.

What kind of mother was I?

Well, I wasn't one. I was supposed to, and even though at the beginning, I didn't want to be, I adored that little being inside me.

"Aud," I heard my dad say, and he came to my other side and kissed my forehead.

"Daddy, I'm so sorry. I'm so, so sorry," I sobbed as he hugged me, and I buried my face in his neck. He held me tightly, and I just cried.

"Autumn, shh, it's okay, sweetheart," he cooed softly. "I'm not mad. I could never."

"Daddy, I did what you told me not to do and got pregnant and I didn't tell you and-"

"Shh, stop talking and calm down," he whispered, but his voice was stern.

He rubbed my back and kissed my head again, then let go of me, but I just wanted to be held. I just wanted to cry and sleep and wake up from this bad dream.