YAY! Truckin' right along, ain't we?

Disclaimer: I don't own Deadpool, the X-Men, or any songs/movies/tv shows/etc. mentioned/referenced/used/whatever. I do own Raven and Kyle. Enjoy!

Well, today was the day. Family day. Raven dressed in a very festive red lace dress and forest green pumps. A bright red ribbon was tied into her head by Deadpool before he went off to take care of a contract. She understood. In her experience, mercenary work peaked around holiday times. Weird, right?

Anyways, Kyle had wanted her to meet his parents. Apparently they were extremely thankful to the one who had helped improve their son's grades and general attitude so much that he was a few points away from making the Dean's list.

The halls were full of mutant children eagerly bustling their families around and chattering incessantly about their school year so far. Raven was completely aware that there were plenty of children who's parents weren't as pleased or who weren't even there. Much like her visits to any pet store or animal shelter, she wished she could take them all with her to some barn somewhere. However, she couldn't, so she was happy with just one.

She pushed open the doors to the cafeteria and entered the room filled to the brim with noise, people, and Christmas decorations. All of this mingled with the smell of Christmas goose, Jewish latkes, and various other holiday foods.

"Gwen! Hey, Gwen! Over here!" Kyle's voice called excitedly to her from one of the large tables. Gwen smiled happily, spotting the blonde haired boy out of the crowd. Across from him, two well dressed people sat. One was obviously a woman with bleach blonde hair and a classy red dress. The other was a semi-bald man with a classy suit. They looked like they were very well off.

"Mom, Dad." Kyle introduced as Raven approached "This is my tutor Gwen."

Raven's red lips parted in a smile as she took each of their hands and shook them.

"I'm Richard St. Patrick and this is my wife Cleo." the man introduced. Raven kept her smile, but cringed on the inside. Yeah, these folks were definitely "old money". This was not going to be fun. She sat down, trying to summon up Remy's southern manners, and tucked her skirt underneath her rear.

"Kyle has told us so much about you! It's so nice that he managed to find such a nice, normal girl to help his grades improve." Cleo said. Raven chuckled and took a sip of water.

"Yeah, if you call being able to absorb people's powers, memories, and energies all while having a weird healing factor and chemical imbalance normal." she joked. When she looked back up, she realized she had probably said something she shouldn't have.

"You're a...a...a...mutant?" Cleo sputtered. Raven sighed and rolled her eyes. Great. They were one of 'those' parents. They hated mutants and were so ashamed of their own mutant son that they shipped him quietly off to boarding school; only to stop by on holidays. No wonder Kyle was so messed up.

"Kyle, you told us she was normal! You told us she was going to teach you to be normal!" Richard scolded his son.

"She is normal, Dad!" Kyle retorted "At least more normal that you two!"

Oh, nice job kid! Standing up to your dad like that! That takes some balls, especially for a minor. Now, it was time for momma Raven to jump in and protect her cub.

"Dick, can I call you Dick?" she asked with false kindness "I'm sorry for the misunderstanding, but here at Xavier's, teaching kids to be 'normal' just isn't what we do here. We teach kids to control their unique abilities while also teaching them how to be a respectable member of society."

"Are you even a teacher here?" Cleo hissed, her face matching the red of her dress.

"Not officially." Raven replied with a smirk "You see, there's this issue of me not having a high school diploma."

She thought that his parents were about to have simultaneous heart attacks. Her smirk widened into a grin. This was turning out to be more fun than she thought.

"Just what the hell kind of school is this?!" Richard exclaimed.

"The best kind of school!" Kyle yelled back, slamming his fists on the table "These people here, they treat me like I'm just a person and not some kind of freak! They're not ashamed of me! They like me! Unlike you!"

"Kyle, honey, you know we like you." Cleo cooed "Now settle down, you're causing a scene."

"Damn right I am!" he yelled back "And of course your ashamed of me! Tell me, what did you ever tell your friends at the country club about your precious first born's sudden disappearance? Or better yet, what did you tell my little sisters?!"

Whoa...Kyle has sisters? And his parents didn't bring them. Man, that's cold. Even Raven sat there with her jaw hanging wide open. This kid was a whole bunch of justifiable teenage angst wasn't he?

Everybody's eyes were on them and the once noisy room fell so quiet you could hear a pin drop.

"We didn't bring them because-"

"Because you can't just tell them their brother can walk through walls." he interrupted his mother "Because you can't tell them that their big brother's a freak."

"Kyle, we-" Richard began.

"Save it. I don't need this shit. I'm a mutant and the only family I need is right here in this school." Kyle finished. He gave his parents equally hateful looks before storming out. Raven stood up, slamming a fist down on the table bringing the 's attention back on her.

"Damn! It smells like teen spirit up in here!" she shouted, summoning her inner Deadpool "USA! USA!"

She continued to chant, jumping up and down as she exited the room. Now, it was time to find Kyle. She really needed to tie a bell around that kid.

After fifteen minutes of searching, Raven found her pupil sitting in the snow staring at Professor Xavier's tombstone. She rubbed her bare arms for warmth as she navigated her way through the snow. Out of her desperation to find the black sheep of the St. Patrick family, she hadn't even thought to go back and change her clothes.

"Hey! Dude! That was awesome! Way to stick it to the man!" she cheered once she was within earshot. Kyle slumped his shoulders, throwing a bit of snow in the eternal flame.

"It doesn't feel too awesome." he sighed "Parents are supposed to be proud of their kids, right?"

"I guess so." Raven replied, crouching low and holding her hands in front of the fire for warmth "But not everyone is that lucky. I mean, I've seen humans and mutants alike with douchey parents like yours. And they get along just fine for the most part."

He ran his fingers through his hair.

"Hey...you know who I didn't see at the family thingy?"

He looked up.

"Penny."

His pale skin reddened slightly around his cheeks. Raven smirked. Alright, we have some progress.

"Maybe her parents didn't even show up and she's holed up in her room or the greenhouse." she suggested "You should talk to her."

"Ugh, Gwen, I really don't think I can...not like this at least." he replied. Not what Raven wanted to hear, but she had one more trick up her sleeve. It was illegal, but so was her old job.

"I think you need to get some liquid courage in you."

Kyle blinked in disbelief.

"But I'm underage."

Raven rolled her eyes and tossed her hair back.

"So what? I thought you were a punk."

"I am a punk!" he defended.

"Well then let's go out! Let's hit up a few clubs, dance it up, and get shit faced! Well...I can't get shit faced, but you can! I'll be the perfect designated driver: I can drink all night with you and pass a breathalyzer with flying colors! C'mon, doesn't that sound fun?"

Kyle smirked, his mood increasing slightly.

"Yeah...I guess it does."

"So what do you say...have a few drinks with an old lady?"

Kyle giggled and pushed Raven over into the snow. She shrieked and stood up, brushing the offending frozen water off her pale skin. Much to her displeasure, her skin was already turning red.

"Alright. And your not old. You're aged to perfection."

Raven rolled her eyes and helped her pupil up.

"Dude, I'm already getting you into a club and getting you alcohol. You can cut it out with the brown nosing."

Deadpool returned to the X-Mansion at around 11:30 with a medium sized poinsettia in tow. He intended to buy it from a local florist after completing his contract but, after realizing he left his wallet on Raven's nightstand, the florist was kind enough to give him the beautiful red plant for free. After a little bit of negotiations with Mr. Bang Bang.

"Hehe. That's our gun!"

"They know! They're not that stupid!"

"Hey! Let's get back to the issue at hand! Where the hell is my princess of darkness?! And don't you dare tell me she's in another castle!" Deadpool shouted. Wolverine cringed at the volume of the noise and dug in his ear with his pinkie.

"That's what I keep tryin' to tell ya, bub!" the short and fuzzy X-Man replied "She's gone! She took Kyle and said they were going to get crunk."

"Hehe. You saying that is so funny." Deadpool giggled, poking his friend's fuzzy cheek "So out of character."

Wolverine narrowed his eyes and his claws shot out in between his knuckles. With one quick, swift movement, Deadpool's intrusive finger was lying on the floor.

"Owie!" Deadpool shrieked in fake pain "Wolvie gave me a paper cut!"

"What a mess." Rogue muttered, shaking her head as Deadpool stooped down to retrieve his finger.

"Ugh. Didn't Raven text you and tell you all of this already?" Wolverine growled. Deadpool stuck his finger back in place. After a few moments, it had healed perfectly back on to its stump.

"That's kinda why I got this." he presented the Christmas flower "See, my contract kinda got a little hairy and long story short, my old phone is toast. Good thing I have AppleCare, right?"

Deadpool presented his new phone with pride.

"Yeah, I lost all my contacts, pictures, and other priceless memories, but this phone let's me check on my Farmville from anywhere I want!"

"Farmville is dumb. You're not even a real farmer."

"Don't listen to Stuffy over there! Believe in your dreams!"

"Yeah...I will believe in my dreams." the mercenary said with a far off look on his face. Losing his patience, Wolverine smacked the motor mouth Merc with the back of his claws.

"Look, bub, the only reason you're still here and not in pieces is because of Raven! Now, without her here, I'm not sure how long I can guarantee that. So if you want to see her, I suggest you go in her room and stay there!" Wolverine threatened. Deadpool jumped up and down, clapping his hands excitedly.

"Oh! Yay! Now I can finally try on all that sexy lingerie Raven never wants to let me wear!" he exclaimed before running down the hall.

Wolverine rubbed his temples. Between the stress of family day and now Deadpool, his headache was beginning to progress into a migraine. All he wanted was to kick back with a nice scotch, a cigar, and the new issue of Cycle World until he was tired enough to sleep. But nooooooo, now he had to stay up and wait for Raven and Kyle to come back. He just hoped the cops didn't get them for underage drinking and providing alcohol to a minor.

"Relax, Logan." Rogue said, placing a gloved hand on his shoulder "They'll be fine. Gwen is pretty responsible and it's not like she can even get drunk. Besides, she sure seems to know her way around the system well enough."

"Yeah, let's hope so." the claw wielding mutant said before stalking off to his room.

"Yellow model chick. Yellow bottle sipping. Yellow Lamborghini. Yellow top missing." Kyle rapped as Raven cruised her dark and borrowed car back to the X-Mansion. They had such a blast at the night club. No waiting in line, no questioning how old her date was, no spending her own money on drinks. Yeah this night was great, especially since Kyle could party with the best of them. Well, once he stopped complaining about how lame and mainstream the club was.

"Yeah, yeah. That shit look like a toupee. I get what you get in 10 years, in two days. Ladies love me, I'm on my Cool J. If you get what I get, what would you say? She wax it all off, . And them suicide doors, Hari Kari." he continued. Raven peeked out of her stunner shades. From the looks of it, they were only a few more minutes away from the X-Mansion. Just long enough to finish the song that was currently making the mirrors and windows of the car vibrate dangerously.

"Take it away, Raven!" Kyle shouted. God, this boy was smashed. There would be no hiding this from Wolverine, not that she had any intention of doing so. It's not like he didn't engage in underage drinking as a kid. Well, seeing as he was from the pages of America's history book, his drinking probably wasn't considered underage.

"'Cause I feel like I'm running. And I'm feeling like I gotta get away, get away, get away. Better know that I don't and I won't ever stop 'cause you know I gotta win everyday day, day." she rapped. They were pulling into the garage now. She could already see some lights turning on and those with superhuman vocal chords started screaming angrily to turn the music off. She couldn't blame them, she would do the same thing if she was trying to sleep at three in the morning. Damn, three am already?

"See they don't really really wanna pop me. Just know that you will never stop me And I know that I can be a little cocky. Oh you ain't never gonna flop me." she turned the car off and stepped out, her plastic beads a bunch of people just threw around her neck. Kyle seemed to have a difficult time getting out of the car, so she walked around to help him. Poor kid, he couldn't even stand up on his own.

"Alright, alright, c'mon now, kid." she groaned, hoisting his weight up on her shoulders "And don't puke on me. I borrowed these shoes from Rogue."

Kyle giggled and slurred something unintelligible as they staggered into the warmth of the mansion. They made their way almost to the kitchen, when Kyle's drunken gaze caught sight of a flash of fiery red hair.

"Hey, hey, hey Penny!" the blonde called drunkenly out to the shy plant wielding girl. She stopped, resting a pale hand on the doorframe; staring at him with confused and tired forest green eyes. She wore a simple white nightgown underneath an extremely fluffy and warm looking green robe. Raven guessed she was probably going to the kitchen to grab some warm milk.

"Kyle?" she asked tiredly.

"I fucking love you!" Kyle shouted. Raven smacked her forehead before slapping it on Kyle's before he could say anything else to ruin his chances with the cute, shy girl.

"Hahaha, Never mind him!" the black haired girl said, leading him away step by step "He's been acting all funky lately. It's gotta be that holiday madness."

Penny raised an eyebrow. Kyle pulled Raven's hand off of his mouth for a brief moment.

"I'm white girl wasted!" he shouted as loud as he could before Raven smacked her hand back over his mouth. Penny didn't seem too pleased and she shuffled into the kitchen.

Raven dragged Kyle back to his room. Almost instantly after his white girl wasted decree, the boy passed out and had to be dragged back to his room. Thankfully, it was on the second floor. Not so thankfully, Raven still have two more floors to walk up before she could rest her own head.

"Alright, ya big baby, in ya go." she groaned, rolling Kyle onto his bed. He groaned tiredly and grabbed his pillow. She smirked as she covered him up. So this is what it was like to be a mother, or so she imagined. It felt surprisingly awesome.

"Your mom and dad don't know what they're missing." Raven whispered, pulling his black comforter over his body. She gave him a gentle kiss on the forehead and stroked a bit of his hair out of his closed eyes.

"Don't worry." she cooed "I'll make sure you see your sisters again, I promise."

Before leaving, she placed a sliver trashcan at his bedside just in case. She also placed a tiny bottle of aspirin on his nightstand along with a cup of water. Sure it would be lukewarm by the time he woke up, but it was better than nothing. Also, just to put a cherry on top of the niceness cake, she cleared the floor of everything. Sure, she kinda just shoved everything in his closet, but it was better than tripping over it on your way to vomit your guts out after filling up the tiny waste bucket.

Raven gave the slumbering teen one last look before shutting the door. Almost instantly, she ran right into Rogue.

"Jesus Christ, Anna Marie!" she gasped, placing a hand on her racing heart "You nearly scared the shit outta me!"

Rogue stood there in her nightwear and slippers. She wore a fond smile on her face and her eyes were calm as she stood there with her arms crossed.

"That was really nice of you to do what you did." Rogue said. Raven raised an eyebrow.

"Whoa, is a teacher actually condoning underage drinking and partying? Somebody call the press!"

"I mean it." Rogue placed a gloved hand on Raven's arm "That boy...he wasn't going down a good road. But now you're in his life...I've seen a change in him and it's a good one."

Raven rolled her eyes and glared at the door.

"Nah. He's still the same little shit who's ass I kicked back in October." she chuckled "Except this time he cost me a bunch of cash."

That was a lie, but whatever it was late. Too late to come up with anything witty.

"Look, I know I should at least apologize for coming back so late and making so much noise." Raven apologized. Rogue shook her head.

"Don't worry about it. I'm just glad you both are here, safe and sound."

Raven smiled. Rogue was awesome. There was just no other way to say it. Raven reached over and hugged her best friend, pressing her cheek against hers briefly; resulting only in a small jolt of pain.

Raven pulled away and rubbed her cheek. She had absorbed other people's powers and such before, but never had the reverse done on her. It stung and, if not for her healing factor, she would've felt a bit woozy.

"Thanks, Rogue." she said. Rogue smiled, touching her cheek with a curious look in her eye. Raven knew Rogue could absorb memories, just like she could, but she didn't know just what memories she had absorbed.

"No problem, sugar. Oh, and by the way, there's a lovely surprise in your room." Rogue winked mischievously.

"Oh no. I knew you guys would be mad about me taking Kyle out! Please don't tell me you filled my room with snow!" Raven pleaded.

"I guess you're just gonna have to find out." Rogue replied with another wink before walking down the hall.

"Night!" she called over her shoulder with a wave. Raven's eyes narrowed. Curse Southern women and their mysterious ways. Oh well, she was too tired to worry about it too much.

Once Raven made it back to her room, she was relieved to open the door and find it to be the same tropical heat she had left it this morning. She was also surprised to see a sleeping Deadpool on her bed.

He wasn't wearing his mask, but he was wearing one of her black bras around his head and a bright red sheet tied around his neck. If not for his red and black jumpsuit, he would've looked like Stitch from that one Disney movie.

Raven pulled her phone out and snapped a picture. The flash caused the man to groan and roll over onto his side. Raven giggled and set her phone down on her desk. Thank God, this guy was a deep sleeper.

Without getting changed into pajamas, she crawled into bed and pulled the sheets around the two of them. Just as she was about to wrap her arms around Wade's back, he flipped over and wrapped his arms around her.

"I'm glad you're back." he yawned, "I was afraid I had the wrong address."

Gwen giggled and settled down into Wade's arms happily. Despite all the fun she had, she was glad to be back too.

Song(s) Used:

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland

White Christmas by Bing Crosby

Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley

Tipsy by J-Kwon

Look At Me Now by Chris Brown feat. Lil Wayne & Busta Rhymes

Naked as We Came by Iron & Wine