Title: Never Give Up
Chapter 25 – One Door Closes…

Warning: Might want to have a Kleenex nearby.

"Morning Matt. Got a moment?"

Both of them look at the rather concerned expression that awaits them and Severide feels his own nervous tension starting to build as Casey pulls away. Bad news? No…no more bad news. Please let it be good.

The last time Casey had talked to the man waiting for him was when there was some complications with his father's Will when his mother was in jail. But having the company lawyer show up out of the blue with a concerned look is not something that would sit well with any of them at any time.

"Morning Carl," Casey greets the older man with a firm handshake. "Everything okay?"

"Can we talk in private?" Carl Williams asks in a low tone, Boden watching them from a distance.

"Uh…sure," Casey agrees as he gestures for Carl to head into the belly of Firehouse 51 and then briskly walks past and heads for the small conference room.

"What's going on Chief?" Severide asks Boden in haste. "Why does Carl Williams want to see Matt?"

"Not sure. He was here a few minutes ago asking for Casey and then you saw what I did. It could be just some insurance stuff dealing with the accident and the fact that Casey's officially back to work and off his extended benefit plan very soon."

"Wouldn't be that HR? Chief…"

"Kelly, I don't know but I'm sure it's okay," Boden tries to assure Severide as he pats his shoulder and heads back to talking to two members of 51.

"Is this about my home insurance?" Casey inquires with a panicked tone.

"No. Did you know Fred Masters?"

"Fred Mast…no…oh wait…Fred?…I know a Fred. We shared a room at Lakeshore right after the accident. What's going on and what does this have to do with Fred?" Casey asks in surprise. "What do you mean did?"

"Fred Masters passed away at Lakeshore a few days ago. He uh…he was on the waitlist for a new kidney but they didn't find one in time and his body just…shut down."

"Oh damn no…" Casey lightly laments as he sags into a nearby chair; Severide watching his friend from outside the windows, his mind now racing with worried thoughts. "Dr. Tennyson said they weren't sure they could find…no…he was supposed to pull through. He…" Casey's lips stammer as his eyes threaten to water. He looks back up at Carl with a heavy frown. "This is a joke right? He seemed like the kinda guy who…you know would just…he's here right? Right outside and you owe him a favor or something?"

"No Matt, I'm sorry. He didn't make it."

"But…no he has to have pulled through. He was on the list for another kidney and…and was sure he'd get his second chance."

"I don't know what else to tell you. But in light of his passing, Fred had no children or living family and…and I guess you really had an impact on his life the short time you two shared a room together at Lakeshore because he's left whatever he's had in his Will to you."

"Me?" Casey asks in shock as Carl pulls out the legal documents and puts them down on the table for Casey to read. "What?"

"There's also a letter of explanation to go along with it. Take your time."

Casey looks at the Last Will and Testament document a few feet out of reach of his left hand and then at the personal letter a few inches from his right and feels his heart rate starting to quicken. Fred didn't make it…but he…he recalls talking to Fred and how the agitated man had expressed remorse to God and Dr. Tennyson and said he'd do so much better if given a second chance. But he also knows that miracles don't exist and once a body is taken past the point of no return – well it can't return and he had overheard Dr. Tennyson warning Fred of just that.

"Can't believe this," Casey mutters as he finally reaches for the letter to open it. He takes a deep breath and then finally glances down at the somewhat messy handwriting on the page.

Dear Matt,

I guess if you're getting this I've kicked the bucket. Damn always thought I'd live forever you know? But I guess with the end here it's not gonna happen. Dr. Tennyson says I have a few more days. My body won't accept another kidney and the machines can only do so much. This is um…scary. Don't really have anyone to give my money to. I don't have much but I'd like it to go to a good cause. I've always respected firefighters but when I met you that respect just grew. Maybe you can use some of it to help other injured firefighters like yourself. I hope you take good care of your kidney Matt. Take it from me, you don't always get a second chance but when you do really hang on to it because third chances don't exist. Wish I had taken better care of my second chance, maybe instead of you reading this we'd be laughing about something over a soda or something. Well I have nothing more to say really except take care Matt and live a good long life for the both of us.

Fred.

By the time Casey finishes reading the letter, his eyes are brimmed with angry tears and he shakes his head in disbelief, looking away from Carl. But in doing so he catches Severide's glance – his watery gaze instantly telling his already worried friend that something's very wrong.

Unable to see Matt that tormented, Severide then takes action.

"What the hell is going on in here?" Severide demands as Casey quickly swallows back his fluid remorse. "Matt?"

"Fred's dead."

"What? Fred wh…oh damn what? He died? How?" Severide asks as Casey's slightly shaky hand extends with the letter in it; Severide taking it as Carl looks at Casey in remorse.

"I'm sorry to deliver sad news like this today but it has to be done and I need to get this Will taken care of."

"He put you in his Will?" Severide looks at Casey in surprise as Casey looks up and gives a teary nod. "Wow Matt…man I'm sorry."

"Yeah…me too."

"Okay so Matt, I just need a few legal things taken care of. I need your signature here…"

With the heartfelt letter still clutched in his hand, Severide steps back and watches as Casey signs the first legal document, the acceptance of the terms of the Will and then waits for Carl Williams to give him the second; the transfer of money from the Estate of Fred Masters to the account of Matthew Casey.

Casey's hand pauses over the second legal document as his mind pictures Fred hooked up to the kidney machine, desperately begging for another working kidney; another chance at life. But he doesn't want to show too much fluid emotion in public so pauses in the hopes of regaining his composure. However, when he continues to pause, Severide's hand rests on his shoulder and that little bit of added support enables him to quickly swallow and sign the second legal document.

"I'd like to put the um…this into…"

"Matt you don't have to decide anything about the funds right now. Wait a day or so if you want," Carl advises as Severide slowly eases himself into the chair next to Casey. "I know this is an emotional time right now and you don't want to make any hasty decisions. Okay one more document to go and we're all done here."

"Okay. Thank you," Casey replies with a firm nod as he swallows once more. He finishes up all the legal stuff with Carl and then all three of them stand up, Carl gathering up all the documents and then shaking Casey's hand, telling him that he'd send him a copy of the complete package once his office had properly processed them all.

"I'll be in touch," Carl tells them before he exits the room, leaving Casey and Severide alone.

"It almost seems surreal," Casey mutters in sorrow as he looks back down at the letter that Severide had placed on the table; his fingers picking it back up again.

"I'm really sorry."

"Just always thought that…one doesn't work…you get a new one. It seemed…so simple," Casey's lips softly ponder as his right hand reaches around to his back and touches the spot where his precious kidney lies safely nestled. "He took it for granted that there would be one there but um…that was it. Damn waiting to die like that."

"Can't imagine it," Severide agrees softly as he looks at Casey in concern.

"Six months…he was hooked up to that machine for nearly six months," Casey states in misery as he looks back down at the letter in his grasp. "Especially when it was getting closer to the end and he knew…I thought hearing the news about not being able to drink ever again was bad but this…being told you'll never get another kidney and now it's just a matter of time," Casey's words die out as his eyes gently water once more. "That's worse."

"But I think it's kinda cool that he remembered you and wanted to share something with you."

Casey writes down the number onto the top of the letter before his eyes drop to the words once more. "I think maybe I'll donate the better part to the Firefighters Recovery fund."

"That's a great idea. I think Fred would have liked that."

"Yeah. And then um…maybe I should give it all. It almost seems selfish keeping any part of it," Casey huffs as he leans back in his chair and stares absently at the wall. "I don't know."

"I don't think Fred would mind."

"Always thought he'd walk in here one day, with a new, functioning kidney and everything would be fine but I guess he's right. He had his second chance and he didn't take care of it," Casey ponders. "What a real wake up call. Life just doesn't keep giving us chances does it?"

"Not always," Severide states gravely. "Maybe use some of the funds to fix your back deck," Severide suggests as Casey looks up with a tight jaw, his already red rimmed eyes, freshly watering. "Hey man…sorry but I don't think he'd mind."

"No, it's not that…it's nothing," Casey starts and then stops; Severide's brow furrowing in wonder. "I'll think about it."

"Okay," Severide agrees just as Boden knocks at the door and then enters the small conference room.

"Everything okay in here?" Boden inquires as Casey nods and then starts to fold up the letter. "Carl told me what was going on. Matt, do you want to take the rest of the day?"

"Might seem to ot…"

"Seems nothing to anyone. I remember you telling me about Fred and now to hear about his passing like this I can tell after reading that letter, that your head isn't where it should be. None of us can blame you for that."

"Maybe just a few hours," Casey replies with a small sigh. "Eric's still here right?" He concludes with a slight smirk as Boden nods in agreement.

"That's what he's here for. You take all the time you need," Boden tells Casey as his hand also rests on his shoulder and gives is a comforting squeeze.

"Now I think I'll be even more paranoid than I was before," Casey tells Severide after Boden leaves.

"You've done pretty good up until now."

"Except with the jumper," Casey groans as he folds up the letter and tucks it into his pocket and then looks at Severide in remorse. "I'm going for a walk."

"Matt…"

"I'll be okay. Right now I just need some time to think about all this. A few days ago I was just focusing on being reinstated to full working duty, giving Eric a sendoff and then dealing with going back home alone. But now…" Casey's voice rattles off about this new information about Fred. But it was something in Casey's tone that told Severide that he was afraid or the thought of having to go back home alone was bringing him down. "So…I just need some time right now."

"Okay," Severide decides not to press the issue; knowing that Matt needs his time but also wanting to ponder his own current living arrangements and the fact that in a few weeks Casey would be moving out. But after all this time, that absence wasn't only going to affect Casey – thinking about it now would affect him, in a negative way. I can't see us living in the apartment without him. And if he's on his own….will he sink back into depression like he did after Hallie died? Damn…

Severide watches Casey push up from the chair and leave the room with slumping shoulders, his mind now worried that this latest development with Fred and the impending thought of going home alone might send him spiraling downward into emotional hell. After all this Matt can't be alone…he can't.

Casey shoves his hands into his pockets as he leaves the large bay doors of Firehouse 51, his mind starting to swirl with thoughts about Fred, his last Will and Testament, coming back to work full time and moving out. You only get one second chance Matt…use it well…use it well…

"Yeah…use it well," Casey mutters to himself as he hears the fire truck sirens starting to scream in the distance behind him. He turns back and watches the truck heading in the opposite direction and feels his jaw set. What do I use the money for?...do I keep it all? …do I keep some?...donate some?...use it for what?...fix the deck? …going home alone? Alone. Damn…after this long…I can't see myself going home alone…but I have to. Right?

Casey walks to the end of the road, enters the small park and slumps down on a nearby bench, his eyes staring ahead but really fixing on nothing.

'Six months ago…shoulda stayed on the damn meds…that was pathetic…I'm Fred. Fred…Fred…'

"Fred," Casey huffs as his eyes water once more and he leans forward with his elbows resting on his knees, rubbing his face as mind drifts back in time once more.

'All those new rules seemed excessive. Thought I knew better. Listened for a few months then had a drink…then another…stopped with the meds…thought I knew better.'

Fred had made light of the fact that he didn't want to follow the rules, thought he knew better but in the end was shown the folly of his ways.

'Body is rejecting the organ. Becoming toxic. Have to go back on the machine. It's over…your life is over…over.'

Casey hears Dr. Tennyson's fateful words to Fred and remembers hearing Fred crying in his hospital room that night and offering up a few tears of his own in remorse. "Damn him," Casey growls. "Why the hell didn't he just…listen." But as soon as the words escape his lips, Casey knows that he too at one point thought as Fred did. He'd listen to the rules a few months and then when he was feeling good again, he'd just try to manage things on his own. However, a few medical and physical scares kept him on the straight and narrow path as it were and he was too busy to try to deviate.

Plus whenever I'd want to deviate, Kelly would make sure I kept on track…he's…he's always been there for me. Fred…he had no one. No one to keep him on track…no one to care.

By the time Fred came to his senses it was too late; by the time he wanted to play by the rules, it was too late. Fred had told him to take care of that precious gift that Kelly had given him. It wasn't that he'd ever thought he'd taken it for granted, but now he sees first-hand what being careless with a second chance can cost – your very life.

A small crack of thunder opens the sky overhead and a few moments later a few droplets of rain start to descend and Casey knows it's time to move on, get back to the House and make a few future plans. He enters 51, the silence instantly embracing him. He hurries to his locker and yanks on the metal lock in angry frustration. "Open damn it!" Casey angrily growls at the lock before his fingers drop it, the heavy piece clanging against the side of the metal locker in defiance.

Knowing it would be pointless to try to argue with the lock and his intermittent faulty memory, Casey kicks the locker and heads toward the back exit door and outside into the light misting rain. Since he and Severide had carpooled, he hails a cab and takes it to his home. Commuting…that's one more thing I'll miss if I…move out.

Casey enters his quiet home with a heavy heart and closes the door behind him. He stands and stares at the quiet space before him a few minutes before his emotionally drained frame sags against the door; his mind and heart still racing at top speed.

"Damn you Fred…" Casey's lips utter with an angry gasp.

"DAMN YOU FRED!" Casey shouts before he picks up what is within striking distance and hurls it across the room, sending the small wooden object right into the wall; the object falling to the floor without a protest.

"Damn…you!" Casey lightly sobs as he slowly slides down the wall until his head is cradled in his folded arms; his mind refusing to let go of the image of Fred hooked up to the machine looking at him in remorse. "Damn…" he laments as his lungs offer a few sobs as Fred's image is replaced with his own. He slides all the way down until he's sitting on the floor and then lets his body completely sag against the wall.

He listens to the silence as it starts to build around him, his mind reminding him that very soon he'd be here on his own alone all the time. This is the life you are coming back to…don't forget that. That sad thought makes his heart sink even further but there's nothing he can do about it except maybe move to a smaller place.

"An apartment of my own," Casey ponders as he remains fixed in place. He pulls out Fred's letter once more and then the picture that Kelly had texted him with Fred hooked up to the machines and his eyes instantly flood.

XXXXXXXX

"What was that all about?" Shay had asked Severide after she watched Casey leave Firehouse 51, pushing past her and heading for the exit doors. Within moments she had gone in search of Severide to see what was up; especially after seeing Casey looking teary eyed and morose.

Severide looks up from the quiet boardroom with a heavy frown, shaking his head in denial. "It was um…Fred. Remember the guy that Casey shared a room just after the surgery."

"I think so. Oh the loud mouthed guy…yeah what happened?"

"He died."

"What?"

"His body wouldn't take another kidney and that um…that was it. He left some money to Matt but it came with this sad letter and he…he'll be okay."

"He shouldn't be alone right now," Shay suggests as she slumps down into the chair beside Severide.

"I think he needs a bit of time right now."

"Kelly…"

"No he needs this. I'll call him in a bit," Severide pushes back. "I don't want to always seem like I'm babysitting him or something."

"Matt doesn't do good alone, you know that."

"Speaking of that," Severide leans forward as his hands fold into a clasp on the table, his mournful eyes looking over at Shay in wonder.

"What's going on?"

"I think Matt is afraid of going back home alone. He just…he's not said anything but…but I know he has to. After today I'm just worried but he'll be okay."

"You know he can stay with us if he wants. What about his house?"

"There's a lot to consider," Severide comments in truth. "Think he'd want to give up a whole home for a small room?"

"It is kinda small," Shay ponders as Severide nods in truth. "He's lived with us for so long now it's going to be weird for him not to be there. We'll just have to keep an eye on him."

"Yeah," Severide looks at her with a tight lipped smile.

"Come on Kelly talk to me, what's really going on?" Shay inquires as her hand rests on his forearm and he looks at her with a heavy frown.

"I want to go back to the accident and prevent any of this from happening. But I know I can't and now…"

"Now we just need to come up with a solution that will make all of us happy. I don't want to leave Matt all alone after all this either. What can we do?"

Severide looks at her thoughtfully and takes a heavy sigh before he outlines his new plan. "Well…"

XXXXXXXX

By the time Casey finds the strength to move from the place on the floor, it's almost time to get supper started or at least do something a bit more physical to ward of the blues. His mind tries to connect with his stomach to see if he even wants something to put in it, but all even thinking about food makes his stomach tight so he decides to forego dinner and just get a few chores done before calling it a night.

Casey pushes himself up and slowly heads to the kitchen and then opens the back door and looks at the somewhat dilapidated deck. 'Fred wouldn't mind if you kept some of the money for yourself.'

His mind really starts to wage an internal battle in the best way to honor Fred's tormented memory and if he should donate all the money, the bulk of it or what…I can't think about this right now.

Casey turns back inside, locks the door and then looks at the spotless kitchen before him and feels his heart start to race once more. I can't stay here…I need…I need to work…

But for him work isn't at Firehouse 51, so without wasting another second, he storms toward the front door, slams it shut and disappears into the setting sun; another familiar destination on his mind.

XXXXXXXX

About half hour after finishing up with Shay, Severide finally leaves the boardroom and rejoins the rest of the teams.

"Everything okay?" Eric asks in concern.

"Yeah. Matt got some bad news. Someone he knew died and…and it's just on top of everything you know?"

"Damn," Eric gently curses. "Did he go home?"

"Would be my guess. He just needs some time to think about all this. Come on let's have something to eat," Severide slaps Eric on the back as they head toward the food lineup. After breakfast, they have their first call of the day and Severide has to remind himself that Casey is just taking some time to himself, he's okay and he needs to concentrate on the call at hand so as not to put himself and others in harm's way.

"Good job," Boden praises as Severide heads toward their Chief with a soot furrowed brow. "Heard from Casey?"

"No. You?"

"No. Think he's okay?"

"I think he needs the time but I'll call a bit later. I don't want to feel like I'm overbearing and just…damn I'm worried. Chief he always expected to see Fred again and now…I mean it's a real wakeup call for him…for all of us. So much for an easy two weeks back to work…well before he actually comes back to work."

"It's almost better that it's happening now so he'll have ample time to move past this…or at least really come to terms with it. See you back at the House."

"Course," Severide replies as he undoes his coat and heads his truck, hopping in the front and pulling his phone. No calls or texts from Matt…he inwardly groans as they near Firehouse 51. Thankfully the rest of the day is pretty uneventful; but the lull in work forces Severide's mind to stay active on Casey and forces his agitation to grow.

Finally he tells himself it's been long enough. It's been a few hours, call Matt and see how he is. So he does. However, he doesn't get the answer he wants. No answer on his cell or at his home or even the apartment. He had told Casey that he'd check in later and so knows that he wouldn't just ignore him if it all possible.

"Hey Matt, buddy it's me…call me when you get this okay?"

Severide hangs up and then heads into the locker room to get a few things. Half hour later and no answer and his agitation starts to grow. You can trust Matt….you know that. He just needs some time to think about all this.

However, just as he's about to call Casey once more, his phone rings and he's quick to answer. "You okay? Oh sorry…yes this his Kelly Severide…who's this?"

"Yeah there's a note on the file here to call if there's anyone here past the regular hours? Any chance you can come down here?"

"I'll be right there."

XXXXXXXX

Casey's lips utter an angry grunt as he takes a break and looks up from his task; his ears picking up voices getting closer and closer. He looks up in surprise as two men round the corner and look at him in wonder.

"You know him?"

"I do," Severide tells the marina security guard in truth. "Thanks."

"What's going on?"

"New security guard. Martin's off shift tonight and the new guy didn't know you so called me as per our instructions," Severide relates as he nears Casey's frame; Casey pausing from working on a part of the mobile library they're constructing for Nathan.

"I'm okay."

"Ah I know you're lying but I get it," Severide states as he plunks himself down at Casey's side as they sit on part of a concrete barrier. "Where'd you go?"

"Home…just sat there and…cursed and cried…and cursed…wasn't hungry and didn't want to go back to work but had to do something to get all this negative energy out. So I came here. Forgot about security stuff. Sorry to pull you off shift."

"Clarke's got it covered," Severide tells his friend in truth. "So what are you working on?"

"Not going to ask what I'm going to do with the money?"

"None of my business," Severide answers with a small shrug. "He left it to you."

"Kelly…"

"Matt I'm more worried about you stressing about going home alone instead of how you'll spend a few bucks," Severide tells him in truth.

"I'll be fine."

"You don't have to lie out here," Severide tries to gently coax as Casey looks at him with a soft defeated frown. "I know you're hurting okay? Just us out here."

"Okay so I was thinking about the House the better part of the day and if I want to go back there alone and stay there alone and…and I think I came up with a solution."

But at the same time that Casey finishes up his sentence, Severide blurts out…"I have an idea about the apartment and…"

The two of them look at one another in wonder until one of them speaks.

A/N: Okay so this wasn't the last chapter as I had thought and hope that's okay! I hope you liked this chapter and please do review for before you go and thanks!