nattie89: I wouldn't say no either. haha.
DarkWriterXX94: Breaking up their circle of friends is definitely a factor. The two of them have a lot to figure out, but perhaps winter break will give them some clarity.
AnywhereElse: haha. SVU could only handle two of them at a time, I guess. Abbie, Alex, and Olivia together would be triple trouble.
lachach: Thank you so much! What you said inspired me to update even faster. :D
Cassiee: Thanks! I'm glad you think the characters are easy to relate to. My intentions were to make them "real" girls instead of Queen Bees, if that makes any sense. I'd take beanie-wearing Casey too!
litafan82: Rena does no wrong! haha. And maybe she will make a bigger move on Liv. My lips are sealed.
Serena woke up to the sound of her girlfriend whimpering and clutching her abdomen.
"What's going on?" Serena asked worriedly. "Is it the baby?"
"I don't know," Abbie managed to respond. "I hope not. I'm going to take a bath. Maybe that'll relax me."
"Can I take one with you?" Serena asked and Abbie winked at her. Serena could never resist that wink. She put on her robe and followed Abbie into the bathroom.
When Abbie was starting the water, Serena wrapped her arms around her waist from behind and started kissing her neck. "I know I've said this so many times," Serena began. "But, happy birthday, baby. I love you so much."
"I love you, too," Abbie told her. She turned around so she could kiss Serena.
"How are you feeling? Serena asked.
"Better," Abbie replied.
"I meant, how are you feeling here?" Serena asked as she stuck her hand down the front of Abbie's underwear.
Abbie wasn't in the mood to fool around with her girlfriend, but she didn't want to refuse her. Serena sensed that something was different about Abbie, so she quickly removed her hand from inside Abbie's underwear.
"Baby, what's happening?" Serena asked when she saw that her fingers were covered in blood.
"I don't know," Abbie said frantically.
"Is this normal?" Serena asked.
"No," Abbie said and started crying. Serena wanted to hold her, but she knew they couldn't waste any time. Regardless of how scared Serena was, she had to take charge. For the first time, it was Abbie depending on her instead of the other way around.
The next few minutes were a blur to Serena. Everything went so fast; She could hardly remember driving to the hospital or when Abbie was admitted. She wanted to be in the room with her girlfriend, but she wasn't allowed to yet. Even though Abbie was already 18, her parents were immediately notified and her mom was in there with her as Serena, the one who really loved her, was forced to spend her time in the waiting room instead of with Abbie.
Serena got some change from her purse and decided to go to the pay phone. She wanted to call her friends, but she knew they were at school right now. She remembered that Olivia's mom was already on winter break, so she decided to tell her in hopes that she'd tell Olivia when she got home from school. Olivia would tell Alex, Alex would tell Connie, Connie would tell Casey and it would spare Serena from having to repeat what had happened.
She quickly dialed Olivia's phone number and was surprised to hear Olivia on the other end.
"Liv?" Serena asked, still in shock. "Why aren't you at school?"
"Long story," Olivia told her, still slightly hungover. "What's up?"
Serena tried to regain her composure, but she couldn't stop herself from crying. "Liv, it's Abbie. I brought her to the hospital."
That's all Olivia needed to hear. "I'll be right there," she told her.
It had been twenty minutes since Abbie's doctor told her the inevitable; she had lost her baby. She knew she had once she started bleeding, but she had held on to the tiniest glimmer of hope that her future son or daughter would pull through. She didn't know what to feel once the news was broken to her. She was angry at herself for failing the baby and Serena. She regretted not telling her mom or another woman who would have been able to help her. Then, as she started crying, she realized none of it mattered. Her little one was gone and there was nothing she could do about it. Hating herself wasn't going to make things better.
Abbie was surprised that her mom held her hand throughout the whole ordeal. She didn't know if her mom was sympathizing with her or if her doctor had told her not to put Abbie through any stress right now.
"I'm sorry this is how you're spending your 18th birthday," Mrs. Carmichael said to break the ice. "Whenever I imagined you turning 18, I had always thought of taking you to some sleazy strip club and getting drunk with you afterward."
"Wow, how very white trash of you," Abbie said.
"Only the best for my little girl," Mrs. Carmichael said and ruffled with Abbie's hair.
They sat in awkward silence for a few minutes before Mrs. Carmichael tried to break the ice again. It's not that Abbie didn't want to talk to her mom, it had just been years since the two of them were alone and they didn't know how to talk to each other.
"I've never told you this, Abigail," Mrs. Carmichael began. "But, I've been in your situation before. You would have been the second child. The women in our family have a history of miscarriage, which is why I wished you would have talked to me."
"How could I have talked to you?" Abbie asked as she started crying again. "You threatened me and every word you direct to me is always some criticism about how I look or how I act. You tell me you went through the same thing, but I'm not ready to bond over this yet. I lost my baby and, unlike the way you feel about me, I actually wanted this baby. I loved him or her. I didn't plan on getting pregnant, but it happened and I'm glad it happened. It's out in the open now and you get saved the embarrassment of having an unmarried, pregnant teenage daughter. We can go back to normal. You don't have to pretend you love me because of this."
"Well, I'm here if you—"
"I'm not in the mood to talk right now," Abbie reassured her. "Please send Serena on your way out."
As soon as Serena saw that Abbie had been crying, she knew what had happened. She leaned against the wall and slowly lowered herself to the ground. Once she held her head in her hands and started crying hysterically, Abbie couldn't take it anymore.
"Come here, baby," Abbie said and motioned for her to lie on the bed next to her. Serena took her shoes off and slowly made her way over to the bed. Once she got in, Abbie held her as tightly as she could.
"I'm sorry," Serena told her.
"You have nothing to be sorry for," Abbie responded and started wiping Serena's tears away.
"I killed our baby," Serena said and tried not to sob. "I was inside you last night and I probably did something I shouldn't have. I made you bleed."
Abbie knew Serena was being serious but she couldn't help but smile. "Honey, is that what you think happened?" Abbie asked. "It had nothing to do with you. You were perfectly gentle last night. Neither of us can be blamed for this, but especially not you. You've taken good care of me the past couple of months. We just have to look at this as something that wasn't meant to be. It was nobody's fault, babe. Our little baby just wasn't ready to be born, but we'll have other chances to start our family when we're older. In the meantime, we still have each other, and that's good enough for me. I love you more than I have ever loved anyone and I know my love for you will only grow as time goes on."
Serena quickly kissed Abbie and held her until she fell asleep. She had wanted to talk to her some more, but her girlfriend had been through a lot in only a couple of hours. She kissed Abbie one more time and got out of bed as quietly as she could.
"How are you feeling?" Alex asked Olivia as soon as she got into her car.
"Like there's a thousand drums beating in my head," Olivia responded. "You?"
"The same," Alex told her. "Did you get in trouble?"
"Not really," Olivia said. "I threw up for about an hour after I got home. I asked my mom how to get rid of a hangover, but as punishment, she refused to tell me."
"Yeah, same here," Alex snickered. "Except I threw up in the hall and had to clean it up. The sight of it made me throw up even more."
Even though a couple of hours had passed, the thought of it made Alex gag and Olivia couldn't help but laugh. "Promise me we'll never do that again," Olivia told her and Alex agreed.
Olivia began flipping through radio stations until she happened to stumble upon a song that reminded her of junior high, when everything was easy and all the three of them had to worry about were chores and homework. There was no relationship drama, except for the occasional argument between Alex and Casey about trivial things like which video game is better: Pac-Man or Donkey Kong and whether or not pizza should be eaten crust first. The year was 1987 and Olivia had started using make-up for the first time, Abbie's hair was always in sideways ponytails and Alex was taking her first honors classes. Seventh grade Casey was an awkward tomboy who didn't even need a bra yet and Serena was a shy, gangly girl with braces.
"This isn't how I pictured Abbie's 18th birthday," Alex said, breaking Olivia's train of thought.
"This isn't how I pictured this whole school year," Olivia admitted. "It's senior year. This is supposed to be one of the best years of our lives and it seems like everything has gone wrong."
"Everything has gone wrong?" Alex asked, confused. "Just the other day you told me this is the happiest you have ever been and now everything has gone wrong."
"Shut up, Alex," Olivia told her. "You know exactly what's gone wrong."
"I wish I didn't," Alex admitted. The two of them stayed silent until they got to the hospital.
They were both nervous about seeing Abbie. Was Mrs. Carmichael going to try to get answers from them? Should they talk about what happened or try to take her mind off of things? Would she even want to see them at all?
They walked into the waiting room and found Serena crying all alone. Once they saw Serena, the reality of the situation had set in for Alex and Olivia and they could no longer hold back their tears.
"She's asleep right now," Serena informed them. "I think it's better if we let her sleep as much as she needs to. She lost a lot of blood during the procedure."
"Procedure?" Alex asked and Serena started crying even more.
"It wasn't exactly an easy miscarriage, if there's really such a thing," Serena said as she was wiping her tears. "But Abbie is fine. Physically, she's fine. There's no permanent damage and her doctor says she'll still be able to get pregnant again when the time is right. She's trying to be strong for me, but I know she's breaking inside."
"Are you okay?" Olivia asked and Serena started hugging her.
"No," Serena admitted. "I'm grateful that Abbie pulled through, but I'm sad about the baby. Just last night, Abbie and I were making plans to get our own place once the baby was born. We even started designing the nursery. We had everything chosen down to the smallest details. I know most people think we're too young to be parents, but the two of us really wanted this baby. I already loved him or her as much as I love Abbie."
"There's plenty of time to try again," Olivia said as she held on to Serena. "You and Abbie love each other so much. I know you will have your happy family someday."
Serena started smiling for the first time. "Thanks, Liv," she told her. "I have Abbie's Chucky doll in my car. I should go get him. You know how much she loves sleeping with her Chucky."
"Stay here," Alex said as she grabbed Serena's keys. "I'll get him for you. You shouldn't be worrying about little things today. That's what Liv and I are for."
Alex found Mrs. Southerlyn's Lexus parked near the front of the hospital. She grabbed Chucky from the backseat and, as she was about to make her way back, she was approached by Casey and Connie.
"Is my girlfriend inside?" Connie asked Alex without any expression on her face. Alex started to wonder why she had put such a strong emphasis on the word 'my.'
"She's in the waiting room," Alex informed her and handed her the Chucky doll. "Take this to Serena, please. She's with Liv."
Casey wanted to go inside with Connie, but Alex stopped her. "What's her problem?" she asked Casey.
"She knows you're in love with her girlfriend," Casey said to her. "Not that she's threatened by you. She trusts her girlfriend even though I said I wouldn't put it by either of you to fool around behind our backs."
"Casey, I'm not doing anything, I swear," Alex tried to tell her.
"Lex, we're broken up," Casey reminded her. "What you do now is none of my business, just like what I do now is none of your business. You've already hurt me; I don't want you hurting Connie, too."
Alex looked at the girl standing in front of her; the girl she once thought she'd spend the rest of her life with. She was still wearing her favorite beanie and her favorite Nirvana shirt, her jeans had a hole at the knee and Alex could see a fresh skateboarding wound. She was still lanky and still awkward and she was still everything Alex had loved about her. Nothing about her had changed, but Alex felt as if nothing was the same.
"I'm sorry," Alex said and then latched on to her. Casey didn't know what to do other than wrap her arms around her ex-girlfriend. Alex tried to kiss her, but Casey pulled away.
"I know you are," Casey responded. "And I know you never cheated on me. I especially know Olivia didn't cheat."
"Because she might as well be a Girl Scout?" Alex asked and Casey started laughing.
"Yeah," She was finally able to respond. "Alex, you and I have a lot to talk about and we have to decide whether or not we want to salvage what's left of this relationship, but now's not the time. We're here for Abbie and Serena. Today is about them; not us. Winter break is coming up. We can take that time to clear our heads and try to figure out what we want. We'll talk about our relationship after that."
"Are we still going to decorate my family's Christmas tree together like we always do?" Alex asked.
"I'll think about it," Casey responded, but Alex knew that meant 'no.'
Alex started crying the moment Casey left her side. She started thinking about how her friends were choosing sides again just like they had in September when Abbie was with Trent. She knew Abbie and Serena had more important things to focus on so they wouldn't choose sides, but she began to worry about ruining Olivia's relationship with Connie. Most importantly, she worried about whether or not she had ruined what she had with Olivia. Would they still be able to have the same relationship they once had or would Olivia start to distance herself from her? Without a doubt, she had already ruined what she had with Casey. She felt as if the girl she had just talked to wasn't the girl she had fallen in love with. She was so rational and mature. She didn't even try to make her laugh like she always did. She was everything Alex had wanted her to be and she hated her for it.
Alex leaned against the wall and for the first time she didn't care if she was making a spectacle of herself. "Alex Cabot, you are so fucked!" she shouted as loud as she could.