This is coming out much much later than I would have liked. I had a few tests and essays due in my classes, and I had scheduled more participants for my psych lab than usual for a while… so I had a lot on my plate. That's not to mention the short stories I had due for my creative writing class. It was hard to get myself writing more than that, sometimes.

Thanks for being so awesome! Your reviews left me entirely speechless! I may have gotten a little overexcited reading them, haha! My roommate may think I'm crazy…. How could I not? You guys wrote me 23 reviews within the first 10 hours my post was up alone!

Anyway, here is the next chapter. I hope you like it!

I don't own Twilight… and that won't change no matter how often I wish I did.

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BPOV

My dreams were dark and twisted, but I could not make sense of them. Meaningless shapes passed in front of my eyes and then faded into the black backdrop that dominated my vision, but even in my dreams I couldn't understand what was around me. The unifying theme of my dreams—and the only part that was unmistakable—was a dull, throbbing pain in my neck. I couldn't tell what it was or why it was there, but it stalked me as I slept. I couldn't escape it.

When the darkness lifted and my room finally fell back into focus, the pain didn't go away. I rolled over in my bed, expecting in my post-sleep stupor that it was just a remnant of my dreams and would go away in a couple seconds, but instead a stabbing pain shot through my neck.

What the…?

Slowly, the events from earlier came back to me. I vaguely remembered trees flying by and a bunch of leaves. Something glittering… the smell of smoke… but mainly I remembered the pain. It had easily been a hundredfold worse than anything I'd ever experienced, maybe more. Suddenly, I remembered exactly what had caused my bizarre memories.

Holy crow! Edward bit me!

"Edward!" I said and sat up in bed to look around, but immediately let my back fall against my bed again. I inhaled sharply. The sudden movement had hurt, and now my neck was throbbing more intensely than before. I brushed my fingers along my neck. Something felt prickly and sharp—the stitches, most likely—form two half circles. It was rough, uncomfortable, and already starting to itch.

"Edward?" I called out again, glancing around my room from my bed. Where was he? If he was anywhere nearby he would have shown up once he'd heard me wake up.

There wasn't much light coming into my room, and I could see the shadows directly outside my window were getting longer. It must be getting late. Charlie must be back from work already. How long had I been asleep?

I wasn't sure if Charlie be worried that I'd been asleep this whole time, so I figured I should give him some sort of show that I was still alive. I was almost positive my bathrobe was plush enough to cover the stitches, but with my hair in the way I knew I'd be able to manage it. I slid my legs over to the edge of my bed, and they came in contact with something small and light. Another note from Edward.

My heart thudded in my chest as I reached under my sheets and pulled it out. I needed to hear from him. He was just chivalrous enough to convince himself to stay away from me. He'd done it before, and knowing that terrified me.

My hands were quivering in anticipation as I unfolded the letter Edward had written.

Bella,

I'm sorry. I never meant to hurt you, and I don't think I can forgive myself for it. Words can't convey my regret. I don't trust myself to be there when you wake up, but I won't be far.

Carlisle left pain killers for you. They're hidden in your nightstand drawer. Take one every four hours. Don't get your stitches wet.

I love you. Despite everything I've done.

Forever yours,
Edward

He wasn't here. Where was he?

Something about the letter bothered me. Edward hadn't said that he was leaving me, but something was different. I could feel some change that had been made in Edward, as though something inside him had broken down. But what?

I eased myself out of bed and grabbed the keys to my truck off the table by my bed. I had no idea what I planned on doing, but I knew I needed to act somehow. I could go to the Cullens' house. Maybe Edward would be there and I could talk to him about this. If only I could see him, I would know this would be alright.

"You shouldn't be moving like that."

I jumped and dropped my keys to the floor. "Gah! Alice, don't do that!" She was sitting at the foot of my bed, her legs crossed and watching me intently. She had appeared out of nowhere, but her posture fit that of someone who had been sitting there for at least fifteen minutes.

"Sorry," she said. "I've been watching over you to make sure you don't do what you're trying to do right now."

"Under Edward's orders?"

"No, under my own."

"Well I need to talk to him," I said. I bent down to the floor to pick up my keys. It was hard to do without feeling an uncomfortable tug in my neck. "Thanks for keeping an eye out for me, but I'll be fine from here."

"You really shouldn't be going."

"Maybe not, but this is important."

"If you try to leave you won't get very far," Alice said, her voice never deviating from her up-beat tone. "I'm stronger than you, so you may as well come back to bed."

I weighed my chances of getting to my truck and decided that they weren't good. I dropped my keys back on the table and climbed in bed, but not without making a point of huffing out to show my annoyance. This was ridiculous. I didn't need Alice babysitting me, and I couldn't get over the feeling that I needed to talk to Edward immediately.

"He's not home, anyway," Alice said once I had grudgingly pulled the covers back up over my legs.

"He's not?" I asked, suddenly worried. "Where is he?" Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he had left.

Alice hesitated for the shortest period of time. It wouldn't have bothered me in a human, but I knew that vampire reflexes were much faster than my own.

"Edward went hunting."

"When is he coming back?" I asked.

"It might be a little bit, Bella," Alice said. I felt like we were getting closer to the real matter.

"What do you mean by 'a little bit'?"

"Oh Bella, Edward is really torn up right now," Alice admitted. Her protective guard came down for a moment and I saw just how concerned she was for him, too. She left her spot at the foot of the bed and scooted closer to me. Her eyes were cautious. "He's being really hard on himself. He'll be fine, but he needs to sort this out a little on his own, first. He's feeling really ashamed right now."

"But he will come back?"

"I think he should," Alice said. She paused for a moment, most likely to look into the future. "He plans on it. I'm not sure if he'll be back tonight or not, though."

I was glad to hear that he would be back, but Alice wasn't nearly as certain as I would have liked. If there was any doubt at all, that was not a good sign.

Alice eyed the glass of water by my bed. "You haven't taken your pain killers, have you?" she asked.

"Not yet," I said. "I just woke up a minute before you got here."

Alice flitted over to my table and pulled out the bottle of prescribed medication. She popped the lid off and dropped a pale pink pill into the palm of my hand. "If you don't take these Edward's going to take it out on me."

Alice stayed around for a little while after I took the medication, but it wasn't long before it made me groggy once again. Within twenty minutes I had fallen back asleep.

--

The throb in my neck woke me up again at some point that night. I took another pill, and once more fell asleep nearly instantly. My dreams were clearer, now. In one dream, Edward bit me, and just as the burn started to make its way through my blood he turned into a bat and flew out the window into the noontime sun. His tiny black body sparkled as he disappeared into the trees.

I woke up again around nine in the morning. Charlie had waited to go to work until I had gotten up. He let me know that he called Forks High School again to let them know I was still sick, told me to call him at his office if I needed anything, and left again.

There was very little to do once Charlie left. I put my medicine away in the drawer, deciding that I would rather be awake through the pain than fall back asleep. Besides, I wanted to make sure that I was awake when school got out. If I didn't hear from Edward after that, I didn't care what he or Alice thought—I would drive over to talk to Edward myself. I hadn't seen him since he had bitten me, and it made me anxious. I hadn't gone this long without seeing Edward in a few weeks.

Eventually, I pulled out my tattered copy of Jane Eyre. I almost stopped reading when I remembered that Mr. Rochester's first name was Edward, but I kept reading, anyway. I wanted to be reminded of him, and besides, I knew that name popped up all the time in the classics. Edward was simply unavoidable.

Once 3:30 rolled around I started paying less attention to reading. I kept glancing up, hoping that I would see a messy head of bronze hair materialize in my window. At 3:40, it finally did.

As soon as I saw Edward's flawless, angular face and his light butterscotch eyes I smiled. Alice had been right. He came back to me. "How good of you to stop by," I said, joking.

It was at this point that I realized just how hardened Edward's face was. It looked more like stone than usual. There was no anger, worry, or concern, but nor was there anything else. His face was blank.

"How is your neck?" he asked. He stood in the middle of the room, not joining me on my bed or even taking a seat in the rocking chair.

Calm down. Vampires don't need to sit, I reminded myself. Still, I couldn't forget that lately Edward had used any chance he got to touch me, even if that only meant having our elbows touch during biology.

"It's a little sore," I admitted, "but better."

"You're not taking your pain meds." His tone was disapproving.

"No. I'm not."

"Might I ask why?"

"They just put me to sleep. It was getting annoying."

"You should have taken them," he said. "They'll make you feel better."

"Maybe I should, but I didn't want to risk being asleep when you finally came to see me."

Edward just looked at me. Why wouldn't he join me? Something was running through his head, I could tell.

"I brought you your homework," he said, changing the subject. Edward slipped his bag off his shoulder and pulled out a small stack of papers and set them down on my desk.

"Thanks."

Edward finally showed some sign of life and smiled. It didn't quite reach his eyes, but I was glad for anything. I patted the spot on my bed next to me, and I tried to hide my disappointment when Edward instead sat at the foot of my bed.

"Do you mind if I acknowledge the elephant in the room?" I asked, unable to take the stiff atmosphere anymore.

Edward sighed and looked downwards. "I am so sorry."

"Edward. It's okay."

"It really isn't," he said. "I could have killed you."

"But you didn't. I'm alright. So I had to get a few stitches… it's nothing I haven't dealt with before."

"I don't doubt that." Edward laughed, but it wasn't carefree like it used to be. It had a hard edge to it.

"I don't see what the problem is. It was an accident."

"The problem is that I am the one that hurt you. When I think about what I could have done to you…" Edward looked up to me and his eyes burned into mine. For the briefest moment I saw his face twist in agony. Before I could be positive I'd seen it, it was gone. His forehead was as smooth and line-free as ever.

"I'm going to be fine, though," I said. "I'm going to make a full recovery."

"You will this time." Edward leaned closer as he gingerly moved my hair away from my shoulder to show his bite mark. "This," he said, "was exactly what I'd been trying not to do. I told myself that if I was careful I could handle it. That I could be with you. I couldn't have proven myself more wrong." Edward dropped his hand. If it was possible, I would swear that my shoulder felt colder now that his hand was gone.

My heartbeat sputtered and then sped up in my chest. I was positive Edward could hear it.

"What exactly are you saying?" I asked. I could barely get my voice to cooperate with me.

"Your fear of me... rather your fear of being with me kept you safe before. That doesn't apply anymore. I should have ended this when I noticed that dating me had stopped scaring you. I knew I should have stopped this, but I didn't."

"Edward—" My words were getting caught in my throat. I couldn't breathe.

"Please listen," he begged. "I let myself believe that since I hadn't hurt you yet, it was safe. I let myself believe what I wanted to believe and look what happened! I could have killed you! How can I stay when I know that you almost died just for knowing me? I can't do that, Bella."

"Well, I've known the risks of being with you this whole time. It's a chance I'm willing to take."

"I'm not. I won't be the monster that puts you in danger. Not anymore."

I maneuvered onto my knees to move closer to Edward, but he leaned away. It would have hurt less if he had slapped me.

"Edward, please—"

"You can't make me stay." His voice was harsh and full of finality.

I was suddenly aware of how my eyes stung. It felt like someone had dropped a 25 pound weight on my chest.

"So, what, you're leaving?" I asked. I hated the way my voice betrayed me. It caught on my words.

"I have to." I wanted to hide from Edward's gaze. His face showed no emotion, but watched me unwaveringly.

"If this is because you think I'm mad at you, I'm not. I forgive you." It was a weak argument. I was gripping at straws hoping to find something, anything I could say to stop him, or at least keep him with me longer.

"I can't forgive myself," he said. "Especially not if I let myself stay after what I've done."

"But you can forgive yourself for breaking my heart?" My voice broke despite my best efforts to hold myself together. One tear escaped down my cheek, and another followed soon after. I wiped them away with the back of my hand. Edward's careful façade broke, and this time he didn't try to regain it. His eyes were soft and pained. His expression was anguished.

"If it means you'll be safe. Yes. You deserve to live a long, healthy life, and you can't do that with me around."

"I don't want a long, healthy life if you're not in it," I said, my words shaking as they came out. Another tear.

"Don't ever say that!"

A full sob shook my body and I looked away from Edward. I regretted it immediately, because I didn't know if I would see him again after that day and I wanted to spend every last moment I could memorizing his face… but I couldn't meet his eyes.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw Edward reach a hand out towards me, but he pulled it back. "I'm sorry," he said. He sounded defeated. "I'm doing this for you."

--

That was much harder to write than I thought it would be. I'm starting to understand how Stephenie said she cried when she wrote Edward leaving.

I hereby promise that Edward will return and that I will write through it all. I won't stop this fanfiction. Other things in my life my prevent me from posting as soon as I'd like, but I WILL finish this.

I also promise you that Edward won't be gone as long as he was in New Moon because, well, let's face it, we need our Edward! I'm not going to carry out the Edwardlessness for chapter upon chapter upon chapter.

I'll be going on spring break next week, and I'll try to get a chapter up during that week. It's hard to say if I'll get the chance since I'll be vacationing with some friends at the beach. I don't know how much time I'll get to spend on my computer. I'll post as soon as I can! Reviews are greatly greatly appreciated, and I'll be much more likely to get myself writing over spring break if I get reviews!

My Twilight roleplay is going pretty well, but it's still early enough that you can join if you are interested. Things are just starting to get good! We have something of a murder mystery going right now. We have more original character than canons, so that means that it should be fairly easy to find something for characters to do. We've also got lot of Stephenie's characters still available. Edward, Bella, Alice, and maybe Emmett are taken, but everyone else is still up for grabs.

I've got the link posted in my profile, and if you have any questions I'm more than happy to answer them!