Chapter 21

'My blood is cold as ice, or so I have been told

Show no emotion and it can destroy your soul

Another sacrifice to a tormentor

Your world wouldn't understand – turn away again

You're angered, so am I, a thousand fires burn

A land of darkness from which I cannot return.'

-Haunted (Disturbed)

Alice sat there for a moment, clueless. What did she mean, 'where no one else had ever been before'? She was relatively new to the Farplane – how would she know what was unexplored? Against the unfairness, a hundred retorts threatened to blossom on her tongue, but she bit them back. There was no need to add misery to her current condition of jealousy.

She finally just nodded. "I've got it. I'll . . . I'll go explore." She shot a look to Kara to inform the woman that she was nowhere near done hearing the story, and then slid off of her bar stool. She released Auron's hand with her own before walking into the bedroom that they'd shared the night before.

Tidus was just waking up when she entered the room. "G'morning," he greeted sleepily.

She threw a pair of his jeans at him in response. "Company this morning. Go entertain or something," she snapped. She knew that it was unfair, biting at him when he had done nothing, but she couldn't help the stream of words that flowed from her mouth. There was nothing in her mind of Lenne. It was all about Dahlia.

How could she be so jealous? Something inside of her was flaring dangerously, trying to rip itself from her chest. As Tidus ran out of the room with his pants, she looked in the closet for something to wear. It would have been easier to materialize something on her body, but she didn't think that her mind could handle the task. It would have picked something that would have tried to outdo Dahlia's outfit, and she didn't think that she was comfortable with wearing something like that.

The door opened quietly, and she ignored it, expecting it to be Leana to wish her good luck, or maybe Kara, coming to tell her the rest of the story. She didn't expect the velvety voice that seemed to weigh her heart down. "You're angry." It was a statement, no question in it. How did he always know?

"No, I'm not," she muttered, trying to justify her anger so that it wouldn't seem petty and failing.

His hand was warm on her shoulder as he placed it on her shoulder, trying to turn her around. Despite her efforts to be a giant rock or something that he couldn't turn, she melted into his touch, turning without much trouble. Her eyes wouldn't be so traitorous; they were locked on the ground.

He chuckled, and the noise made her look up in confusion. Well, there went traitorous. He pushed some of the hair back from her face. "Just as stubborn as always." Taking her hand, he pressed his other hand to her face. "What's worrying you?" His eyes were deeply concerned, like this was his only problem right now.

Too bad it wasn't hers. She tugged her hand free from his, pushing back her hair from the crown of her head with both hands. She didn't want to seem so petty to him. Unsure of her claim, she sank to perch on Tidus's bed. "I don't want -"

He cut her off midsentence, leaning down and planting a kiss on her mouth. Her head spun as her body reacted, one hand reaching up to bury itself in his hair. She couldn't help but react to such a warm feeling that was burrowing a hole deep in her heart. After a moment, he pulled back. "You don't want what?" he asked softly.

With as much of a glare as she could manage, she glowered at him. "You don't fight fair," she pouted, sinking back onto the bed and crossing her arms. She was extremely dazed, but she wouldn't let it show.

He laughed. "This isn't the first time I've heard that. Apparently I don't fight fair a lot of the time. What you think is fair and what I think is fair seems to differ here."

Rolling her eyes, but in a slightly better mood, she threw her head back against the rumpled sheets that Tidus had just left. Her hair fanned out in dark tendrils around her face like a halo. "Apparently. But we're not fighting over that." She frowned. "We're not fighting about anything. This never happened."

Auron sank to the bed beside her, touching her pale forehead with his fingertips. His expression was slightly pained. "Why are you hiding things from me?" he asked. His eyes and mouth showed vulnerability, even though he was the last person that she'd ever thought to see vulnerable. It broke her heart, the way he stared at her with such pain in his eyes.

Looking away so that she wouldn't have to see his tortured expression, she stared at the wall. "I'm not hiding them . . ." Yes, she actually was. But she was doing it for a reason, wasn't she? Was the reason really worth it? After a moment, she sighed. "Fine. You can't laugh though. Deal?" She turned her head back around so that she could see his face.

He smiled weakly. "If you really don't want to share, you don't have to. I just . . . wanted to know why you didn't want to. Everyone has their secrets."

She shook her head. "It's petty, really. And I didn't want you thinking of me like that. But, if we're in a . . ." she searched briefly for the word, "relationship, then I guess that we have to be truthful with one another, don't we?"

Auron nodded. Relationship was a good word; it was a better one than he'd expected she'd come up with. Were they even really dating? He'd never formally asked her. He made a mental note to ask her sometime soon, before someone else decided that they wanted her as their own.

She cleared her throat self-consciously, sitting up. "Well . . . I suppose I'm . . . jealous." She had to look down again, gritting her teeth. It sounded so . . . insecure and terrible. After a moment, she looked back up. His face was a mask of confusion. She had to clarify. "I . . . Dahlia . . ." she stuttered, looking down again. A fine blush covered her cheeks as she tried to convey what she was feeling. "I'm feeling a little insignificant!" she suddenly blurted out, leaning her head in her hands.

His voice was surprised. "Why?"

"Why not?" she asked, looking up again. "Have you seen Dahlia? She's absolutely gorgeous. Sure, she's a little annoying, in my opinion, but she's got perfect curves, perfect hair, eyes, everything!" Now that the main problem was out, she was uttering everything that she was worried about.

He slid closer to her. His arms were around her before she could even protest against it (as if she would have). His head leaned against her shoulder, speaking into her ear softly. "Yes, I happened to see her. But apparently you haven't looked in a mirror lately. Besides, haven't I told you what happened between Dahlia and I?" His voice was disapproving.

Alice sank farther into the mattress. "Yes, you have. But her coming back didn't . . . suddenly create any sudden emotions in you?" She suddenly felt small, looking at her knees again.

His eyebrows rose. "You thought it would?"

"Yes?" She sounded skeptical. "Must I say again how perfect she is?"

He chuckled softly. "No hidden, unearthed feelings on this end. It only reinforced how obnoxious I remembered she was. I suppose I'd forgotten." She could feel him droop his head against her shoulder with the slightest pressure. He pressed his lips to it, waiting for her reaction.

She laughed. It started out as a chuckle, finally morphing into a full-blown laugh. "You've got to be kidding me! I felt so . . . insecure because you thought she was obnoxious?" She threw her head back against his own shoulder, finally tilting it back to rest on his neck. "You're joking, right?"

He lifted his head, attempting to stare at her. "No, not at all." He pressed his lips to her forehead lightly. "It brought back memories, but even in those memories, I was just courting her because I hadn't said that I wouldn't yet. I wasn't ever really attached to her."

She stared at him blankly. "Remind me to ask you whether you're attached to me in a couple weeks."

Now was the perfect time to ask. "Actually . . ." His words trailed off. "I know that this is sort of . . . juvenile, but . . . I want to ask . . . Will you go out with me?" He cringed as the phrase sounded like one that a high school student would ask. Hopefully, it would work.

She could hardly keep in the chuckle that threatened to escape her mouth. It sounded so . . . ridiculous! They were . . . dead. Was there such a thing as dating? She supposed it didn't matter. They were doing things the right way, since the drama that surrounded them was similar to what it would have been if they were alive. "Yes, Auron, I will go out with you." She attempted to keep the amusement out of her voice.

He laughed; apparently she hadn't kept it out well enough. "Anyways, sorry for interrupting you." She'd been planning to get dressed and suddenly, he'd distracted her from her goal. "I'll leave you now." He started to get up, but leaned down, planning on kissing her cheek.

She moved her head, feeling brash, pressing her lips firmly to his. Emotions flew through her head, too fast for her to interpret, but intoxicating. Something changed as he slid his tongue between her lips, pushing her back against the bed. It was, by far, the most amazing thing that she'd ever felt. Her hands were tangled in his hair, pressing him closer before he finally pulled away, breathing hard. "We shouldn't be doing this," he reminded her breathlessly.

She chuckled. "Especially not here. I think Tidus would be scarred forever."

He propped himself up on his elbows, pulling her onto her feet smoothly. "Get dressed; I'll meet you out there in a few minutes."

She nodded mutely. Getting dressed. Such a task seemed to be so trivial compared to what her new undertaking was. Trying to find the unexplored part of the Farplane. What a joy.

A/N: What a wonderful chapter. Yeah, I know, its really . . . fluffy. Next chapter is real plot, I promise. I just had to wrap that up.

As a response to someone who left a comment [I know, you're one of my regular readers too! I'm sorry!] - Yuna will be a part of the storyline, but she won't be a huge part. Of course, Lenne and Shuyin's story is in this, so . . . of course she's going to have a part in the story.

Review?