*Thank-you for the reviews on the last chapter. They were greatly appreciated. Thank-you all so much.
Tessa and me had spent the next couple days making arrangements and planning out her parents' funeral. It was really tough for Tessa to arrange the funeral of her parents but she did it. It was tough for me to see her hurt so much. She loved or loves her parents so much that it was hard for her to accept the fact they were truly gone. She had planned on having her parents cremated and she planned to have their funeral a week from this day. When we got to West Newbury the first thing Scarlet asked was to see her grandparents but Tessa had to tell her the news. At 4 years old I don't think she understood too much of what happened but she knew her grandparents were in Heaven.
The last few days were really tough for Tessa as she had to plan out the funeral and pack up her parents' things. As we went through their things we found many things from our childhood. We had so many pictures together of us as kids and the memories came flooding back. We laughed, we cried and we remembered our lives before we ever fell in love. We were inseparable when we were kids it was obvious as we went through the pictures. Campouts, sleepovers, birthday parties, school, dances we've done it all together. There were so many pictures of us from the 16 years we had been together. As I looked at these pictures I remembered why I fell in love with Tessa and I believe I fell in love with her all over again. My feelings for her came back stronger than ever. In the time I had been gone I talked to Ryan about three times just so she wouldn't call my mom. I didn't want her to find out that I was actually spending time with Tessa instead of my mom. My mom and dad were fully aware of me spending the nights with Tessa and staying with Tessa while we were home but they didn't seem to have a problem with it except my mom did tell me not to do anything stupid and I promised her I wouldn't.
Since the last few days were so tough and we were handling tough affairs I decided we should take a break from it all and just enjoy ourselves. I wanted to do something for Scarlet since she hadn't really gotten a chance to have fun or get out of her grandparents' house. I also didn't think Tessa getting so upset day after day was too good for the baby so I wanted her to take a break and just be happy. We took Scarlet to Chuck E. Cheese for the afternoon and I must say I think the child is way too smart for a man dressed up as a mouse. My niece Keegan loves Chuck E. Cheese but Scarlet seemed to be bored with it until we played a game of ski-ball. I hate to admit it but she ended up beating me. All right so I suck a ski-ball that a 4 year old can beat me. We were playing our last round as Tessa watched us play. "Look, Mommy, I'm going to beat John again."
"I see," said Tessa.
"You think you're going to beat me?" I asked.
"Um. Yes. I have like 100 times."
"I know. I'm a really bad ski-ball player huh?" I asked her.
"Yeah, John, you are."
"Thanks for the encouragement," I said.
"I was just telling the truth," she said with an innocent smile.
"I know. It's okay," I said. "Telling the truth is always the best thing to do."
"I know," said Scarlet, "My mommy taught me that." The way that child talked was absolutely amazing. I never heard a child with such grammatical correctness as I heard from Scarlet. She was a smart little girl and she reminded me of her mother.
"Your Mommy is a smart woman," I said giving Tessa a smile.
"I know," said Scarlet, "she is the smartest woman in the WHOLE world."
"You know what, Scarlet?"
"What?"
"I think so too," I said giving Tessa another smile.
"Thanks," said Tessa with a smile.
"You're welcome," I said with a smile.
Scarlet looked at me and then looked at her mom and said, "are you two in love?"
"No," said Tessa quickly.
"Nope," I said just as quick.
"We're just really good friends."
"Yep. We're just really good friends," I said.
"Okay," she said, "can we play ski-ball now?"
"Absolutely," I said as I got ready to play ski-ball with her again. I know I told her that I wasn't in love with Tessa but honestly I was. Scarlet and me played one more game of ski-ball and then we turned her tickets in so she could get prizes. After she got her prizes we went to Dairy Queen to get some ice cream which really got Scarlet excited I could tell that she really loved ice cream and that was the first time I had really seen her act like a kid in the days that we had been there.
Later that night after Tessa gave her a bath we put her to bed. She insisted that I read her a bedtime story and tuck her in. I used to read to Zola all the time when she was Scarlet's age so I had no problem reading to her. She had me read the princess story to her and when I was finished reading to her I tucked her into bed. "Goodnight, John. I love you," she said.
"Goodnight, Scarlet. I love you too," I said as I gave her a kiss on the forehead.
I started walking to the door as Tessa went over to give her a kiss. As I reached the door I heard Tessa say, "I love you, Baby. Goodnight."
"Goodnight, Mommy," said Scarlet, "I love you." I started walking out of the door being followed by Tessa when I heard Scarlet say, "Mommy."
"Yes?"
"Is John going to be my new daddy?" she asked.
"Goodnight, Scarlet," she said as she walked out of the bedroom. She never answered Scarlet's question up until that point she had always said no but this time she didn't say no she just ignored the question. I didn't even know what that meant.
We made our way downstairs to the living room and sat down on her parents' couch. "I had a good time today."
"Me too," said Tessa, "so did Scarlet but I think she's starting to get confused."
"I heard her ask if I was going to be her new daddy," I said.
"Yeah. She's confused maybe we shouldn't be hanging out together so much. I don't want her to get the wrong idea."
"Tess, I don't mind hanging out with you. I never did," I said.
"I know, John, but Scarlet is a perceptive 4 year old little girl. I don't want her to start perceiving us as something we're not. We are friends right?" she asked.
"If that's what you want to be."
"We're both married," she said. "It's how it has to be."
"What does that mean?"
"If we weren't married things would be different."
"Different how?" I asked.
"Nothing," she said. "Anyway thanks for coming with me. I couldn't have done any of this by myself. Thank-you."
"No problem," I said. "You're my friend and I had to be here for you. I wasn't going to let you go through this alone."
"Even though I know your wife doesn't like me," she said.
"Ryan does like you," I said.
"No, John, she doesn't. She doesn't like me at all. I see the way she looks at me and I'm pretty sure if I wasn't carrying this baby she wouldn't even acknowledge me. Ryan used to be a really good friend of mine but something happened and she's not anymore."
"I don't know, Tess. I wish I knew but I have no idea," I said. "I think it might just be her pregnancy hormones."
"I don't think so," she said. "Pregnancy hormones don't make you dislike people. She has something against me and that's okay."
"I'm sorry if she's done anything to offend you," I said.
"It's not your fault," she said. "Don't worry about it. So you two are going to have two babies."
"It looks like it," I said.
"That's pretty awesome how it worked out."
"Yeah," I said.
"Any names picked out?"
"We were discussing names but didn't actually pick any out."
"What names?"
"Z names," I said. "Zaiden for a boy and Zuri for a girl and names like that."
"So you two are sticking to the Z theme?"
"Yeah," I said. "Why didn't you?"
"Because I didn't want to," she said. "I wanted my daughter to have a name from something that had to do with literature."
"Scarlet Letter," I said with a smile.
"Yep," I said, "or I could have used Pearl but she wasn't a Pearl. She is definitely a Scarlet."
"So where did you get Zachary's name?"
"From his godfather."
"Don't say it. Please don't say it."
"Say what?" she asked.
"That his godfather is Zack Ryder."
"Yep," she said with a smile. "Zachary Ryder is his name."
"Oh. Tess."
"Oh Tess what?" she asked with a smile.
"You know what," I said.
"No. I really don't know," she said with a smile as I looked into her deep blue eyes. "John.."
"Tessa, I can't even hold this back anymore," I said. I couldn't hold back how I felt about her anymore. I had to tell her the truth. She needed to know.
"What?"
"I love you," I said, "I have loved you, I love you now and I will always love you. Letting you walk away without fighting was the biggest mistake of my life. I could have made it work even if Zachary wasn't my baby. I could have made it work. I should have fought for you. I should have fought harder to keep you but I didn't. I let you walk away because I was upset. I shouldn't have let you walk away. You were my entire life, Tessa and then after I let you go I was miserable. It was the biggest mistake of my life and coming here, seeing our old pictures together brought back so many memories and feelings including how much I love you. Tess, tell me that you love me please tell me that you love me."
"And if I do tell you I love you? What's going to change? You're married and I'm married. Is it going to make a difference?" she asked.
"Tess, it might. Do you love me?" I asked. "I have to know. Do you love me?"
"John," she said. "Why are you doing this to me? Why are you making me do this?"
"Montgomery," I said, "Please I have to know. Do you love me."
"Cena," she said with tears filling up in her eyes, "I do love you. I don't think I have ever stopped. I don't think I'll ever stop loving you but we've been through too much and everything is different now. We have different lives now. You can't do this to me, John. You can't."
"I knew it, Tess. I knew it."
"John, it does…" she started to say before I interrupted her by pressing my lips against hers. As the kiss broke she said, "John what are you doing?"
"Something I've wanted to do for a long time," I said before I kissed her lips again. There was a passion in our kiss that I hadn't felt in a while. The passion grew stronger as I slid my hands up her shirt and ran my hands over her soft skin before I found her breasts and began to massage them. I slipped her shirt off as I felt her hands slid up my shirt. Her soft hands rubbing over my chest before she took my shirt off. I picked her up and carried her up to a spare bedroom in the house and shut the door behind us. I carried her over to the bed and laid her down gently. I laid soft kisses on her neck before trailing them down her body. I reached the top of her jeans before I unbuttoned them and removed them. I trailed my kisses lower and kissed her thighs. She didn't stop me and there was no way I was stopping myself. I had wanted to do this for a long time and it looked like it was going to happen. I moved my body up hers and passionately kissed her lips as I felt her soft hands rub my back. She slid her hand down into my jeans and I moaned with pleasure as I felt her soft hand on my man parts. She removed her hand and began to unbutton my pants. I helped her take them off followed my briefs before removing her underwear. I slid my body up hers and said, "are we really going to do this?"
"If you want to," she said.
"I want to," I said with my breath heavy. "I really want to."
"Good," she said with a smile, "because I do too." She pulled me down on top of her and I slowly entered her. It had been so long since I had been intimate with her that as soon as I was inside of her all my memories of our intimacy had come back to me. I slowly began making love to her as the room filled with her moans of pleasure as well as mine. As our passion grew stronger I moved faster and harder. I had finally realized how easy it really was for someone to cross that line but it didn't stop me. I couldn't stop. I didn't want to stop. I continued making love to her as I brought her over the edge. Shortly after she was brought over the edge I could no longer hold back and I released myself inside of her letting out a shutter as I did collapsing my body on top of hers. As wrong as it was for us to make love to one another it couldn't have felt more right for me to make love to Tessa. I kissed her lips softly before I slowly removed my body from hers.
"I love you," I whispered into her ear as I pulled her soft body closer to mine and took her in my arms.
"I love you too," she said. "And I do mean that."
"Me too," I said. "I really do love you and I do not regret that moment for anything."
"No regrets," she said as I took in the scent of her hair. She still smelled the same as she did when we were together. Her body was as soft as I remembered it to be. I truly had no regrets for what happened between us because I honestly felt like it was supposed to happen. I didn't know what it meant for us but I did not regret it at all. I held her close to me and soon we both fell asleep with her in my arms. It was official. I was in love with Tessa Montgomery all over again.
*A/N: So what did you think? Please review and thank-you for taking the time to read.