Chapter 25

"So, what do you think?" asked Paddy after he had outlined the plan. "Is that ok with you?

"So we've to have a babysitter," growled Aaron, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. The painkillers were wearing off quickly now, it felt as though every bruise, every abrasion, every ache was beginning to burn throughout his body; it was hard to turn his thoughts to anything else.

"No, you're not listening, Aaron," said Jackson quietly. "Mum would be nearby; but we would have the chalet to ourselves, she would just be there to help. If we need it. And let's face it; I'm not at my best and you're gonna not feel like doing much for a while."

"Yes but..." began Aaron, not quite ready to admit that Jackson was right.

"Aaron!" said Hazel firmly. "Let me tell you how it is! You are not well enough to stay in the van; at least for a good few days. Therefore you go to the chalet – or you go home. Your choice. If you go to the chalet, I will be staying nearby; however, I will keep out of your hair – so to speak," she said, glancing at Aaron's cropped hair.

Jackson looked at Aaron, his warm brown eyes full of encouragement, willing him to say yes. He knew how stubborn Aaron could be, but surely he had to see that this was the best offer they were going to get. They hadn't planned on being home for another week; but if he didn't feel like driving the van, sleeping on a mattress, surely Aaron couldn't either. Not that they would let him anyway; he might be able to shout Paddy down, but against Hazel, not a chance!

Three pairs of eyes looked at Aaron, waiting for him to say something; there was only one pair that really mattered. He could see the hope shining in Jackson's eyes; could see him wanting him to accept their conditions, to let their time together continue. There wasn't any choice really.

"Ok," he muttered quietly, wanting his capitulation over with, done with, forgotten as quickly as possible. "Could someone maybe go and ask when I can get painkillers again."

"I'll go," said Paddy, starting to get up from his chair.

"No, we will," said Hazel quickly, widening her eyes significantly at him, tipping her head, very slightly towards Aaron. "C'mon, Jackson. We bought some new clothes for both of you; you can help me sort them out."

Jackson knew he was being deliberately removed from the room, knew Hazel had decided that Paddy and Aaron needed some time alone together. He stood, and skimmed his hand fleetingly over Aaron's check and head as he passed behind his chair.

The door closed behind them; despite the quietly chattering television, a silence descended on the room; seconds...minutes...it stretched and threatened to become awkward.

Aaron thought about speaking, but he wasn't sure what to say, where to start, how to ignore the increasing pain creeping relentlessly through his body, growing, crystallising behind each mark of the abuse, the beating to which his body had been subjected. Unconsciously, he gritted his teeth; he wouldn't let the tears flow again, he couldn't; just because Paddy had come all that way to see him, that was no reason to cry, was it? The tears flowed all too easily these days, he reflected; but perhaps this wasn't the time to worry.

Paddy took his specs off – then put them on again, fidgeting awkwardly. As soon as he had heard what had happened from Hazel, there was no question but that he was driving the hundreds of miles to Aaron's side. And now here he was in front of him, looking at him so bruised and battered, so different, still trying to be so difficult; nothing had changed, everything had changed. He needed to break the silence; it was hard to know what to say, there was just the confession and he couldn't put that off any longer.

"Aaron...Aaron, your mam...Chas, I...er...I haven't told her yet. About what has happened, we just left. I'm sorry, I should have told her.

"No, Paddy," Aaron rushed to interrupt him. "It's fine...I don't think I could face her just now, she's too...she's just..." he let the words hang in the air, unsure what he meant, just sure that it was Paddy's quiet, bumbling presence he needed now, not the strident tones of his mother.

"But...later...sometime...will you tell her? I don't think I will be able to; even when...when these..." he waved his hand, vaguely gesturing towards the discolouring bruises on his face; the only ones visible to Paddy; the only ones he had shared with anyone yet, even Jackson. The others he pushed from his mind, he hid from his eyes; he couldn't think about them, he couldn't confront their reality yet.

He took a deep breath, steadying the emotion, the panic that he felt beginning to rise in him. "When these have gone," he finished, trying not to let his voice betray the heightened tension he felt.

"Yes...yes of course I will," said Paddy, lapsing back into silence, trying to still the troubled thoughts tumbling through his mind. "It will be alright Aaron...you will get through this, I promise you will." He spoke hurriedly, firmly, trying by the sheer force of his will to make Aaron truly believe that; if he didn't – or couldn't – NO! Paddy cut that thought from his mind.

The door clicked open; a nurse came in with painkillers for Aaron.

Relief from the nagging, gnawing, gut wrenching pain that had been growing, spreading insidiously through his body until he felt as though it would consume him, he looked at the pills in his hand, four multicoloured smarties. He swallowed them hungrily, desperate for the release they would bring.

The nurse was hovering, watching him, making sure he swallowed the pills; he opened his mouth, displayed his hands, palms upwards, proving they had gone.

Paddy smile at the briefest flash of the Aaron he recognised.

"I think you should call it a night now, Mr Livsey, it's late enough and Aaron should get some rest now he's had his meds,"

Momentarily muddled, it took Paddy a moment or two to realise she was speaking to him, thinking he was Mr Livesy, that he was Aaron's dad.

But Aaron had got there before him; had realised her mistake, was delighting in it. Paddy drank in the gentle, genuine smile on his face. Despite his discomfort, Paddy saw that Aaron accepted, relished even, the notion of him as a father figure.

"C'mon Dad," he said, holding his hand up, "help me back to bed." Through his pain, his smile reached his eyes.

...

They were discharged the following afternoon, allowed their freedom after what felt like an eternity but was less than 48 hours.

Aaron walked stiffly to Paddy's car, parked as close to the entrance as he had been able, clutching the boxes of painkillers he had been given and the letters for GPs, in his head all the verbal instructions he had been given. He smiled over at Jackson.

Jackson was travelling in the van, Hazel was driving, he didn't argue, he's learnt many years ago that capitulation saved so much as far as his mother was concerned.

"Where is this place?" he asked as they followed Paddy's car from the car park.

"About 30 miles north, we didn't think you would want to stay too near here. Small village, canal, loch, looked quite nice online," she paused. "It will be alright, you know. I won't get in your way."

"I know mum," Jackson sighed. "I'm just worried about him, that's all. He seems such a mess."

"I know, but he'll be fine. It's hard for him, readjusting his idea of himself, his vision of who he is now, compared to who he was. Just be there for him, be strong for him."

Jackson smiled at his mother, then shut his eyes and let the rhythm of the van lull him into a fitful doze.

There were four chalets, carefully, comfortably far enough apart so none intruded on another's space, tucked down a rough track and close to the canal. From the front they were triangular, surrounded by a wide area of decking and with a balcony at the upstairs level. Opening the door, they entered into an open plan kitchen and dining area with the living area beyond.

Aaron walked slowly through to the first sofa he came to; the journey had tired him more than he wanted to admit, far more than he had expected; for the moment, he just wanted to sit, there would be plenty of time to explore later. He watched as Jackson tried to help Hazel and Paddy bring their things in from the van, including numerous bags from the supermarket shop that Hazel did for them that morning, once it had looked like they would be discharged.

Eventually everything was in and stowed away.

"We are just down the road," reassured Paddy, at the B & B we pointed out. Phone us if you need anything. Actually, phone us later anyway, please." He looked them both, trying to appear stern. "Aaron! Phone me, or we'll be back up!"

"Yes Paddy!" He just wanted them to go; it wasn't that he wasn't grateful to them, he was; they had found them a way of continuing their holiday, a brilliant place to stay. But he just wanted to be alone with Jackson.

Eventually Paddy and Hazel left, hiding the concern, the worry behind smiling masks. It was a relief to know they were only a few hundred yards up the road, not a few hundred miles away. Jackson didn't see the tear slipping down his mother's face as, turning away from them for the last time, she let the mask slip.