Welcome to chapter 25 *^*
Now then, after a one week break, here I am again xD
Finally now, let´s make this turn into something sweet C: With minor little incidents, but overall sweet CX xD
Thank you very much for correcting SoylentRamen! *^* Seriously, she is the queen of proofreading! With university and all that shit I´m not exactly the fastest writer at the moment, and to be honest I thought there was no way I would make it in time this time-
BUT- after I wrote all the updates yesterday- she corrected all four chapters in like, within 3 hours, after I sent them to her ;/; Thank you a lot SoylentRamen C:
Reader: ;/; awwwwwwwww thank you so much ;/; naw- that makes me so happy- and nuh uh, not yet xD I got something planned that´s even sweeter than just a hug out of pity or comfort C; hehe you will be surprised, till now I didn´t involve anyone outside of Shizuo and Izaya, but they already spent their fair amount of time in "peace", soon others will be involved C; omg that scene though xD I was squealing at the sole imagination of Shizuo hiding Izaya in his chest like that xD omg xD But nuh uh~ you will see C; aww and there you go making me blush again ;/; thank you -hides- and sorry for not updating last sunday haha C: now I´m going back to the regular schedule again xD
Guest 2: awww thank you 3 haha, yeah, even though Izaya might not believe it, and shizuo took a while to realize, they complete each other, they need each other hehe cx Oh, yes yes! Exactly like that! You also see that rarely in real life though, when someone is really hurt over something, but they seriously try their best to hide it, if you pay close attention you can see that too, that kind of forced smile to cover up. Like you just get the gut feeling something is up haha sounding like Shizuo there cx And even though Izaya is pretty much done with his masks he still tries to keep them at least a bit- though Shizuo finally realized that C: xDDD Awww everyone hates Namie xD She is just saying the usual things x'D
Well then, let´s stop rambling now xD
You wanna know how it continues after all *0*
Enjoy~!
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ஜ Chapter 25: Trying your best ஜ
-Shizuo´s point of view-
Quickly, before the woman could walk up the stairs- he could already hear the clacking of her shoes- he got up from the floor.
Izaya was still crying; there was no way he would be able to perform his "I´m alright" act right now, and Shizuo definitely didn´t want anyone to see Izaya the way he was at the moment.
Arms were crossed, the door half closed as he leaned against the doorframe, effectively cutting off line of sight into the bathroom.
Not a second too early-
"You didn't fire me, so I expect you to pay-" the woman paused, having stepped into the bedroom now, only to encounter the blond. Izaya looked towards the door, only meeting the blond´s back. The clacking of shoes stopped.
A surprised expression showed on the woman's face when she saw Shizuo in front of her. She was wearing her usual green blouse and red skirt, and a tiny plaster was stuck on her cheek.
She was Izaya´s secretary, wasn´t she?
"Shizuo Heiwajima?" She raised a brow. Of course she didn´t expect him here.
"Sorry, but could you leave?" The blond spoke calm- he wasn´t trying to cause a fight or anything, he really just wanted the woman to leave.
Namie quirked an eyebrow, completely dismissing the blond´s request as she glanced around, obviously searching for the raven she had been expecting to meet here instead.
"What are you doing in Izaya´s secret apartment? I thought only I knew where it was." She crossed her arms in front of her body, her expression growing stern.
Shizuo frowned. Obviously he had no explanation, and he didn´t think he needed one. That woman had been working together with the flea for all this time, and she failed to notice anything. Well, not that he was any better; if not for that one night, Shizuo would have never guessed.
But this secretary was here every day and still didn´t notice. Or even worse, maybe she did and just didn´t care.
"Doesn´t matter. Just go." The woman narrowed her eyes, scanning the blond from head to toe. Namie however almost seemed to be amused, as if she had already figured out everything. Her expression relaxed and a grin spread across her lips.
Shizuo followed her stare, only to notice that he was pretty much covered in blood-
Izaya's blood.
Fuck.
"Don´t tell me, you managed to kill that bastard finally?" The blond´s eyes narrowed, and he tried hard not to grip the door´s frame too hard again. He would have never actually done that-
"I didn´t kill him-" he replied almost instantly, but the woman didn´t even seem to be listening anymore.
She laughed and let her hand drop on her hip as the other pointed towards the bathroom, a cocky expression reflecting in her eyes.
"And you want to tell me that Izaya´s corpse is not in there?" she asked, still laughing and dropped the arm again, laughter wracking her. "Really, I´m not even gonna call the cops. After all," she grinned, "who would not want that bastard dead?"
Shizuo frowned, his fists were tightening next to his body as he let his arms drop. That woman.
He knew why she was saying these things, and he knew it wasn´t even that unreasonable- But right now, it seriously drove him mad that she had to spout these things right in front of him, when Izaya was just right there, listening! When the flea had finally ... he didn´t know. He just felt like there had been some sort of progress before-
"Get out," he growled, his voice darker than he intended to, but the woman didn´t seem to be intimidated by him anyway. She cocked an eyebrow.
"Hah, so rude. Well, I guess I should thank you for ridding the world of this pest, though." Shizuo grit his teeth. God, how he would love to just throw the woman out of the apartment- but he couldn´t move from here or else she would see Izaya.
"I said get out!" High pitched laughter escaped the woman again and she finally took a step back as she turned around. Her heels clacked again.
"Of course, after all I don´t want to be here if you still have to get rid of the body," she shrugged, brushing her hair over her shoulder as she stepped out of the bedroom.
"Don´t worry, I won´t tell anyone it was you-" and with that, she disappeared. A wave of her hand followed and the clacking of her shoes faded away after the door fell into its latch behind her.
The blond frowned, waiting until he was sure the woman wouldn´t come back-
Then he turned around, his sight instantly trailing back to the raven to make sure he hadn´t done anything behind his back. But he was still just sitting there- looking at him, but only for a couple seconds before he avoided his gaze.
The blond approached him, crouching down in front of him.
"Oi, are you okay?"
Crap stupid question-
"I mean… don´t listen to that woman, okay?" he corrected himself quickly, letting his eyes trail over the raven. "What she said is bullshit." But Izaya didn´t really seem to be listening.
A glance was given and Izaya rubbed at his eyes, cleaning away the remains of tears that still stuck to his face.
"Why did you do that?" he mumbled, catching Shizuo a bit off-guard.
"What?" The raven glanced at the blond, and for a second, Shizuo feared he might have done something wrong yet again- but no, actually he looked slightly better. As if he had calmed down.
"You made it so she wouldn´t see me." Ah, that.
Soft laughter followed as he kept watching the raven. Somehow, ever since he had actually started to talk at least a bit about this whole deal going on, he felt as if every word that left the raven´s lips was precious.
"Am I looking that pathetic?" Shizuo frowned.
No. That´s not what it was about.
Not at all.
"You don´t look pathetic. I just didn´t want her to see you." It was the truth, after all.
The raven sighed and let himself slump down on the floor. His head resting on a tiny rug in the bathroom, he just laid there, staring at the ceiling while his hand brushed over the bandage Shizuo had rolled around his arm. He didn´t even seem to actually be interested in what Shizuo had to say.
"... why?" It was just a quiet question, almost sounding unsure, as if the raven was hesitating on asking it in the first place.
"... She would have just asked stupid questions or made bullshit comments about you crying. I don´t know about you, but I wasn´t up to listening to that crap..."
Heh.
Maybe he had to give him at least some credit.
Shizu-chan, that is.
This time, Izaya felt like for one moment, Shizu-chan actually understood something.
"You stopped crying." It was a statement, an obviously relieved one. Izaya´s eyes squinted just in the slightest, a feeling surfacing that he would have loved to keep locked away.
Why?
Why was Shizu-chan so happy now? Why had he been so frustrated before?
He hated seeing Shizu-chan react like that to him, he already admitted that much. But it still confused him greatly. There was this one part, a little, tiny part of him, that hoped the reason Shizu-chan was so obsessed over him was a different one.
As if.
"Guess I did," he mumbled, closing his eyes for a second. The cool tiles against his body kind of calmed him down. He let his eyelids slip open again, looking at the blond next to him.
The way he sat there, he reminded him of a lost dog.
One of those you see in the filthy dark streets. He was even still wearing that bloody shirt.
...
Again, he brushed over the bandage on his arm.
Why?
Why was it that he always felt a sting in his chest whenever the brute decided to act nice to him? He hated it.
He preferred the actual physical pain he experienced when Shizu-chan flipped out.
Not... this.
Softly, his fingers trailed over the material. Warm. It was almost like the gentleness Shizu-chan had used before to wrap him up was still lingering in it.
"You should change your shirt or something." Izaya blinked. The words caught him off guard. Shirt?
It was only then that he realized that Shizu-chan was not the only one who was wearing a bloody shirt.
Black fabric was held out towards him. Just when Shizuo had gone into his room to get him another one was a mystery to him. Had he been lost in his thoughts that deeply?
He glanced at the blond, but he didn´t even need to say anything- Shizu-chan had already turned around.
...
Again, that sting. Shaking his head, he stood up, quickly pulling the bloody shirt from his frame. A second or two, and he was dressed again. The black fabric again hiding what he didn´t want anyone to see.
The latest indicator of his broken sanity he decided to not cover up, though. The bandage, that is.
...
He looked around the bathroom. Shizu-chan still didn´t face him, but he had changed his shirt, as well.
...
The sink was still broken. The pipe bent. The doorframe cracked from yesterday.
His headboard, too, right?
...
Seriously...
"Ne, Shizu-chan, why are you so hung up on me?" The words had left his lips before he was able to stop himself. But he just had to know. "I don´t get it. You could have easily left me behind somewhere. Be honest, I am frustrating, aren´t I?"
The blond turned around, taking the question as a sign that the flea was done. But really... what was he supposed to say?
"You really are..." He couldn´t lie. Never in his whole life had he felt this much frustration before. Not even after hurting those he loved without meaning to. It was a whole new experience to be... this weak.
The raven´s eyes casted down as he heard the answer. The blond sighed.
"No… actually, it´s not you that´s frustrating. It´s me." He couldn´t blame Izaya for this.
Said raven glanced up once more, meeting the blond´s eyes.
"What do you mean?" No, he really couldn´t blame him.
He had enough burdens.
"You aren´t frustrating. What´s frustrating is that I don´t know how to help you. You just don´t act like you did before anymore, and I just don´t know what to do with you," he admitted; the raven was still listening.
Shizuo didn´t know if that was a smart thing to say. After all, so far he had been oh so sure that he could fix Izaya, that he could help, and that he would make everything better somehow- and now?
He had to admit that Izaya was right all the while. He had gotten angry at Izaya saying that he didn´t understand and that he couldn´t help, when actually he had been right all along.
He really didn´t understand.
"It´s frustrating to know that I can´t help you right away," he mumbled, while Izaya could just looked at the blond in front of him.
Was this really Shizu-chan?
The violent Shizu-chan?
The Shizu-chan that never listened to him? That always got mad?
The words he spoke now were so surreal to hear from his lips.
"But one thing I´m sure about," the blond went on, snapping Izaya out of his thoughts, "is that if you don´t stop wracking that head of yours about how you can be happy or how you can stop feeling that way, you won´t progress at all. So stop thinking about these things; just leave the thinking to me."
...
Leave the thinking to him, huh?
An amoeba?
Then again, he had been thinking enough, and hadn´t gotten any useful result.
"... maybe you are right. Sounds nice to stop thinking," he found himself mumbling- he knew he was just digging his grave deeper here.
But Shizu-chan almost smiled.
He was relieved.
...
"Let´s go downstairs." Taking a step backwards, Shizuo was back in the bedroom, leaving the raven to blink.
"To do what?"
"Cook and clean that water up." Izaya blinked.
Right.
The teakettle fell down before.
After Shizu-chan...
...
One step after another, he followed the blond out of his room.
He didn´t want to ask. He really didn´t.
Because... the answer he got was only going to hurt.
So maybe... maybe he could pretend.
Maybe... just a little.
Haha... he was desperate, he knew it.
He felt like he was clinging to a straw.
But it was a straw at least.
In this dark ocean.
Was it really that wrong to hope that maybe that blond, who always did unexpected or ridiculous things, could do something about this that Izaya hadn´t thought of yet..?
He knew he would only get hurt.
But ... for once...
Again, his thumb brushed over the fabric on his arm.
Right now, he felt kind of okay. He knew he was lying to himself. Pretending something that wasn´t true.
After all, Shizu-chan didn´t feel anything for him.
But it felt good... to pretend.
He stepped into the kitchen. Shizu-chan was just wiping up the floor.
And then the doorbell rang.
Izaya had really forgotten about what he had planned.
And now it was coming to get him at the worst time.
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End of chapter 25 C:
Yes, yes you might kill me now C: xDDD There is something up haha But it will trigger quite the cute things, so~ C;
See you next time xD I hope you liked this chapter C: Nothing spectacular happened there, but I felt like I had to have them just talk for a while now C: And hey, Izaya did come to the conclusion that he could lean on Shizu-chan~ C;
Well then, sorry for being a tad late again C: Now I will update regularly again cx tho I will mention up ahead, that on sunday the 10th I won´t be able to update C: I will be on holiday, in Turkey for a week xD And considering how the wifi usually sucks balls I probably literally wouldn´t be able to post anyway xD
Other than that I will update every sunday tho *0*
I hope you liked this chappy C:
See you next sunday~!
Oh and also, I found some really awesome stories to read *-* aww I just adore her writing to be honest- maybe it´s just my opinion, but her writing really impressed me a great deal-
Please give this magnificent author some love~! She deserves it!
Riri1342- I tell you , she has seriously some talent there. *0* She wrote two stories, "The white king." and "Poles apart."
AND OMG
She has written one of the best SMUT scenes I have read in my life *^* I would even go and say it was the most erotic one I ever read- xD Seriously, she has a talent for the juicy parts~ xD And the poles apart story is just- aw damn. I love it. The angst, the tension, the confusedness of both omg
Shizaya of course xD
You gotta check her out *0*
Well then xD
See you next sunday~!