DISCLAIMER: All characters and story world belong to SM. All lyrical references and quotes are property of their original artist. No copyright infringement intended.
A/N: This chapter is a hot-mess of unbetad-ness! You've been warned. Special thanks to James for pre-reading this, and for dedicating so much time to researching a large part of this chapter.
Last chapter I asked: What song or band helped you see something differently, or accepting another POV. My answer: A Perfect Circle/Tool (or just Maynard James Keenan) for giving me a different viewpoint on drugs. Odd answer, right?
Music in this chapter:
Stanfour – Sorry (acoustic)
Stabbing Westward – I Remember
All of the chapter specific music: http:/ / www (dot) youtube (dot) com/user/BeautifullySacred
-add me, friend me, subscribe, whatever... and you will get sneak peeks whenever I add the music a few days before updating for the next chapter.
HUGE WARNING! - Please Read - This chapter has some gruesome, dark explanations, violence, and death is talked about in detail. If this may be bothersome to you, please just PM me and I can give you cliff notes. Also, there's a... citrus warning as well. If you are NOT of age in your country to read M rated material, DO. NOT. READ. It's that simple.
Now that that's been covered. Enjoy the chapter!
Chapter 21
EPOV
Sunday, August 20th 2006
We've played eight of the twelve shows so far, and Beautifully Sacred had a strong following throughout Canada. Seeing Bella on stage was always an amazing sight to behold. With each show, she grew more confident and open, and with each show, I learned a bit more about her emotions behind the songs. I had put us both through our own version of hell when I abandoned her, and I could never take that back.
But I would spend eternity making it up to her.
Eternity. With Bella. I still hadn't gotten used to that idea. I missed her heartbeat, and warm, human skin, but in exchange I would never have to say goodbye to her again. I could live with that. It was a selfish choice I never wanted to make when she was still mortal; her soul in exchange for eternal companionship. However, I never had to make that decision, and neither did she. A part of me wondered if she still despised this life like she had when she first awoke, but in all honesty, I was too afraid of the answer to ask her.
I glanced across the stage where she had just been, but she was gone. I frowned and scanned the empty room for her but she was nowhere in sight. It was a little after one in the morning and we had just finished the show and were packing up the trailer with our equipment. Maybe she went outside.
I pushed open the side exit and stood in the doorway, looking for her. The sidewalk was empty and the streetlights flickered a few times. I listened very closely for footsteps but there was nothing, just the chatter of Alice and Emmett as they finished tying the piano down in the trailer. I could see Jasper's hazy form in Alice's mind, so I knew he was with them, and Bella was still shielding him. She has to be within three miles.
Bella had been shielding Jasper for the past few weeks, and I admit, it frustrated me to no end. They said it was so she could learn to shield more people for a longer duration, but I grew skeptical as each week passed and she didn't add anyone to her shield. I knew I wasn't alone with my irritation; Alice hated it more than I did. Her visions were always blurred if they involved anyone being guarded.
"Bella?" I called, hoping she would answer.
Nothing.
I listened closer, holding my breath and focusing on the faintest noises I could discern. Scratching, tapping, and deep sighs. I smiled, and walked through the exit door, letting it close loudly behind me as I walked around the corner of the building. There, perched on top of the RV with a pen and paper, sat Bella. Her face was scrunched up in a look I had come to recognize as frustration as she scribbled out a line in her notebook, and tapped her pen on her knee. She looked pensive, but slightly irritated.
I walked around to the back of the trailer, quietly climbed up the side, and walked silently toward her from behind. I stepped across the gap between the trailer hitch and the RV and squatted behind her, peering over her shoulder. She was lost in thought and far away, so she hadn't heard me approach. I pulled her hair very gently to the side, exposing her neck and jaw, and laid a very soft kiss just below her ear.
"Edward," she whispered, her lips turning up into a smile.
"I found you," I whispered into her ear. I slid my arms around her ribs, just below her breast line and rested my chin on her shoulder.
"I wasn't hiding." She turned her head to the side, peering down at me as she closed her notebook.
"You disappeared," I said quietly, a subtle pouting in my tone.
She didn't reply but instead smiled wider and wrapped her arms around mine, hugging herself. She closed her eyes and faintly sighed. She looked so content, and peaceful. We had slowly moved into this stage of our relationship. It was like when I met her all over again and she wanted to touch me, or kiss me all the time, only this time it was me who wanted the contact. That's not to say that Bella wasn't physical with me, she just didn't express it as much.
Carlisle said it was the newborn part of her; hard to focus, always distracted.
I tried to believe him.
"Are you guys ready up there?" Alice asked from beside the RV.
"Yep," Bella said. She opened her eyes, kissed my cheek and pulled away from my embrace.
I let out an involuntary whimper at the loss of her touch, but stood and followed as she hopped down from the roof. Emmett slid the rolling door closed to the trailer, and locked it up as Alice climbed into the RV. I followed Bella inside, and took a seat on the sofa beside her.
After the fourth show, we all decided it would be sensible to just buy an RV, attach the trailer to the hitch, and travel together. Bella and Garrett stored their SUV, not wanting to sell it altogether, and Esme renovated the inside of a luxury RV to accommodate so many bodies. She took out the kitchenette and bathroom to put in a larger table and more seating. The bedroom was made into an entertainment suite to make room for Emmett's game systems, TV, and a large closet.
Emmett gave Rosalie a thumbs-up as he closed the passenger door behind him. He made his way to the back, and powered up a game console as Rosalie started the engine and pulled away from the venue. We were headed for Ottawa, Ontario; one of the biggest cities we were scheduled to play in.
Carlisle and Esme were on the loveseat across from us, reading a book together, while Jasper and Alice curled up beside each other on the longer sofa. Garrett took the seat by the door, and pulled out a laptop from a storage bin beneath him.
"Any news from Maurice?" Bella asked Garrett.
"Yeah. He sent us an email about the CD. He says that he received the final cover art from Irina, and has forwarded it to the production company. We should have our first copy before the next show," he replied as he focused on the screen.
Bella and Garrett had finished recording their album at a rental studio Maurice had reserved for them. I told Bella about Irina doing our cover art, and she thought that was a great idea. They got in touch, and Irina agreed to do their album artwork. A week and a half later, the songs were mastered, the artwork was finished, and the album was on its way to being mass produced. They had titled the album "From The Ashes", and the cover had some form of a phoenix on the front, but I had yet to see it.
Maurice had set up another tour to promote their album across Canada. The release date was scheduled for October 11th, and the tour would begin on the 13th. He asked Alice, Jasper, and I if we wanted to open for Beautifully Sacred this time, and we said yes, of course.
"Excellent. I can't wait to see it. Maybe this will all feel real when I can hold it in my hands," Bella said quietly with a smile spread across her lips.
She had been happier lately. She seemed to open up to my family more over the past few weeks, and she and Jasper had grown into close friends. I could tell that she was still reserved in trusting us entirely; we had hurt her, and it would take a while for her to believe we weren't going to leave her again.
Carlisle and Esme took off from work to be close to Bella. Esme was delighted that she was back in their lives, and Carlisle really wanted to prove to Bella that she was important to all of them, and not just me. I think her words that first night in the hotel room really affected him. He truly felt like he had failed her. I tried to reason with him that it was my fault entirely, but being the fatherly type, he wouldn't let me take all of the blame. It was a moot point to argue over fault anyway; we all felt guilty, and rightfully so.
Jasper glanced at me, quirking a brow. While I couldn't read his thoughts, I had half a century of experience reading his expressions to understand him. I shook my head minutely and smiled faintly. Bella caught the exchange however, and furrowed her brows at me.
"What are you thinking?" she asked quietly.
"My thought in exchange for yours?" I asked, squeezing her hand gently.
"Alright," she said slowly. "But you first."
"I was thinking how nice it is to see you happy. I always feel guilty when you're upset."
Bella glanced at Jasper, but he didn't move in the slightest way. She waited for a second before nodding her head. "It's nice to feel happy again," she said quietly.
"Your turn." I pressed my lips to her hair and kissed the mahogany strands gently.
"I was wondering what Carlisle and Esme are reading, actually," she said with a grin.
I rolled my eyes and suppressed my smirk. I felt tricked… but I didn't mind.
"It's about eighteenth-century Italy, actually," Carlisle said.
"That's when you lived in Voltura, isn't it?" Bella asked.
Carlisle nodded, looking up from the book and smiled at her. "You remember."
"Of course. I was fascinated by your story. Your collection of artwork's incredible."
"You lived in Voltura in the eighteen-hundreds?" Garrett asked.
"Yes, but only for a few decades," Carlisle said politely. He closed the book and set it on Esme's lap. He wrapped his arm around her shoulder and she smiled, moving in closer to him.
"Interesting." Garrett didn't say anything more on the subject. He looked back down at the laptop and began typing.
"You know, I feel like you all know my entire life, but I know very little of yours," Bella said after a few minutes of silence.
"You know my story," I said quietly.
"Well, yes. I know Carlisle's as well, but I don't know much of anyone else's'."
"I told you pretty much all there is to know about Esme and Emmett's story back when we first met. I even told you the little bit there was to Alice's life before she and Jasper came to live with us," I pointed out.
She thought for a moment, slowly nodding. "Yeah, I guess you're right. Those memories are a little fuzzy, but I remember now. I guess the only two I don't know, are Rosalie and Jaspers," she said.
Jasper bowed his head slightly as the corner of his mouth slid up in a smirk.
"You don't want to hear my story, Bella," Rosalie said from the driver's seat.
Everyone but Garrett and Bella seemed to tense. She looked up at me curiously, uncertain of how to respond.
"It doesn't have a happy ending," Rosalie added, her voice very quiet and strained.
"But you have Emmett, how is that not a happy ending?" Bella asked.
"I suppose I should be grateful, but honestly, only half of my dreams ever came true, and at what cost?" Rosalie asked, though she didn't expect an answer.
Esme got up and walked to the driver's seat. She touched Rosalie's shoulder gently and nodded toward the rest of us when their eyes connected. Rosalie scowled and huffed, but moved quickly from the steering wheel to the opposite end of the sofa from Alice and Jasper. Esme took her place at the wheel and Emmett came out from the back room, draping his arm over Rosalie's shoulder and staring down at his lap. We had all heard Rosalie's story before, and it was not a comfortable one to listen to. Living with her as she replayed the last few moments of her human life in her head was nearly unbearable. I helped her, all those years ago, and we never spoke of it to anyone.
"If you don't want to share, that's fine, Rosalie," Bella said quietly.
Rosalie rolled her eyes and snorted. She wasn't upset that she was asked to tell it, she was upset that she couldn't change it. "Sharing doesn't bother me, Bella. It's done, and I've moved on. I don't want any pity, is all." Rosalie focused on Bella's face, thinking of all of the faces of sympathy, pity, and shock and internally cringed at them all. She loved attention, just not that kind.
"Well, alright then," Bella said in a small, confused voice. She leaned into my side, and bit her lower lip. It would have been interesting to know what emotions she was feeling.
As Rosalie shared her story, Bella held my hand tighter until it was almost uncomfortable. When she reached the part about how she sought her own revenge, Rosalie didn't even glance at me once. I had helped Rosalie carry out her plan that night with Royce. I ensured that no one came across them while she carried out the deed, and afterward, I helped her resist the temptation of feeding from him; reminding her that she wanted no part of him to follow her in this life. She was always strong, and truth be told, she didn't really need my help, but I was there regardless. I felt I owed it to her for my comments and the way I regarded her when she first awoke. I was not the most polite or gentle in sharing my first impression of her.
I flicked my wrist slightly, trying to shake Bella's attention from the story to her grip. She was still a newborn, and her strength was beginning to hurt my hand. She quickly let go as her eyes flew to mine with an apologetic look, and then back to Rosalie.
"But why do you say that you only got half of what you wished for?" Bella asked when Rosalie had finished.
"Because I got the man I loved, but not the life I desired with a baby of my own or growing old with gray hair and drinking sun tea on a porch as I watch my grandchildren. I envied Vera and her beautiful little Henry, and loving husband. When I saw Emmett, he instantly reminded of baby Henry; cute dimples and curly black hair. I think that's what made me decide that he had to be saved. I couldn't see something so innocent be lost. I just happened to be lucky enough to find love because of that decision." Rosalie smiled one of her genuine smiles as she looked up at Emmett's face. 'What I wouldn't do for you, but sometimes I want more,' she admitted silently.
He knew how she felt, and he wished more than anything that he could give her what she wanted most. My brother was often considered the playful or immature one in the family, but he was also the most loyal. He would do anything for Rosalie; for all of us.
The rest of my family were thinking back to when they first heard Rosalie's story, and studying Bella's reaction. She was trying very hard to hold back the sympathetic look, but the sadness was visible. Jasper broke the awkward tension I'm sure he was picking up on by unnecessarily clearing his throat.
"I guess it's my turn?" he said with a half-smile. Alice nuzzled into his chest as she closed her eyes. Bella turned toward Jasper and nodded slightly, looking more upbeat at the idea of learning about his history. As Jasper began, I noticed Garrett taking more interest than he had before. He closed the laptop and turned in his seat to cross his leg and lean against the back of the chair. Bella gasped when she saw the extent of Jasper's scars, but she quickly understood and interjected her questions throughout his story.
It was obvious that Jasper was closer to her than the rest of my family was just in the way they talked and held each other's eye contact. The story was more like a conversation between the two, or even like a teacher explaining a theory to his pupil. It was rather fascinating, and I wasn't the only one who picked up on it.
'They seem to have gotten close over the last few weeks,' Carlisle thought.
I nodded minutely, glancing in his direction.
'It's interesting that the one you feared around her the most when she was human, has become a close companion as a vampire,' he added and I nodded once more.
'I wonder if he is teaching her to use her shield,' Carlisle thought absentmindedly. It wasn't directed at me, but once it was thought, he glanced at me again, quirking a brow slightly. I mirrored his look before looking back at Jasper.
That was an interesting idea. It would explain why Bella was shielding only him, but what didn't make sense was why he needed to be shielded. Jasper was just as good as the rest of my family at shielding his thoughts when he needed to.
It left me something to think about, regardless.
"We seem to have a lot in common," Garrett said nonchalantly at the end of Jasper's answer to one of Bella's questions.
"Oh?" Jasper asked with a polite smile.
My family had warmed to Garrett, but we still knew nothing about him, or how much we could trust him. All we had to go on was Bella's experience, and faith in him.
"Mm," Garrett said, nodding thoughtfully. He uncrossed his leg and turned on his seat, sitting sideways with his arm across the backrest. "We both left home at a young age, in search of a place to belong. We both found a place to belong in the United States Government in its early years, and we both came across forces we had no idea would ruin us for longer than merely a human lifetime," Garrett explained.
That caught everyone's attention. Carlisle glanced at me briefly again before leaning forward. 'Perhaps he will share his story with us,' Carlisle thought.
Esme was thinking along the same lines, but she was more concerned that he had experienced similar hardships as Jasper. He wasn't even considered one of her sons, and she was worried about him. It was sweet, actually, and very Esme.
"Would you tell us, Garrett?" Bella asked. "Please?" she added with a smile.
Garrett chuckled and let out a deep sigh. He looked down at his hand in his lap and nodded very slowly. "I was born during the peak of the American Revolutionary War. I was surrounded by politicians from a very young age, and sort of grew into debate. I was very good at it in fact, but it didn't feel like my destiny in life. I wanted to do some good, see the world, inspire and be inspired. I was tired of talking in circles about politics and taking advantage of people. When I was twenty-one, I joined the Navy with the intent of seeing more of the world, and feeling like I belonged to a cohesive unit." Garrett snorted, shaking his head at something, and closed his eyes. "I was so wrong. It was chaos and every man for himself back then."
He opened his eyes and looked at Bella with a half-smile. "After a few small voyages, and no real exploration or danger, I deployed on the USS Philadelphia with a real mission. At first things went alright. I was excited by the open water, and responsibility on my shoulders. We came across an uncharted reef just outside of Tripoli Harbor and were quickly under siege. Tripoli had unofficially declared war with us a few years prior, and we were sitting ducks. We never had a chance.
"Our entire ship was taken hostage, and the USS Philadelphia was docked to their Harbor. Many of my fellow men claimed that our country would come for us, but most of us knew that it would be an open war if a rescue was attempted." Garrett looked away, staring at nothing in particular across from his seat.
"We were only there for three weeks before they came." Garrett's tone was harsh, bitter, but quiet. He looked back at Bella, focusing on her face as he swallowed. "Five men in black cloaks, pristine boots, and red eyes. They told our captures that they were part of the Pasha's guard. They were looking for prisoners to recruit for suicide missions, and insisted on seeing us. They were escorted in by one of the night guards, and they walked through the rows of men very slowly. I remember the smell of piss and sweat fuming in the room as these men walked by in perfect boots, and perfect posture, looking down on us. The man in the middle of the strangers would stop and stare at a few random prisoners, as if he was trying to judge them with his eyes alone. After a moment, he would either nod or shake his head and continue on. If he nodded, they were plucked from the chains, and dragged out of the cellar. If he shook his head, they were passed by and ignored.
"He stopped when he reached me, and took longer to consider me than he had the rest. I grew nervous, fearful. I was only twenty-three. I had set out to see the world, and all I had seen was the open water and the inside of a captive cell. I had left my mother and father behind; my safe home and place in politics. I felt naïve, and oddly deceived. I hadn't experienced life. I wasn't ready to die."
"Did he choose you?" Bella asked her voice quiet and strained, her eyes concerned.
Garrett smiled faintly and nodded. "He chose me, stating that 'He would be pleased'. At the time, I had no idea who He was, but I knew that I didn't like the sound of it." Garrett cleared his throat and was silent for a moment.
'I wonder if they were another coven searching for fighters, like Maria,' Carlisle thought.
'I wouldn't have guessed he was twenty-three. His years weren't so kind to him,' Rosalie thought.
Normally, I would have thought Rosalie's comment to be shallow, or rude, but I agreed with her. Garrett looked closer to thirty than he did twenty. His features were more defined than most vampires his age I had come across. I had never given it much thought, however.
"They took me and three other prisoners with them. They didn't waste any time," Garrett said.
Alice and Jasper exchanged a glance, but turned their attention back to Garrett after a moment. Bella leaned into me, and I put my arm around her, holding her close. She was completely transfixed on Garrett, and I was dying to know what Jasper was thinking about everyone's feelings, but Bella's shields were holding strong.
"Three days later I awoke into this life. The man that had done the choosing was waiting when I woke, and explained what I had become. I was separated from the other two that were chosen, and he wouldn't tell me what happened to them. He introduced himself as Eleazar of the Volturi guard—"
Everyone's thoughts were of shock and confusion, but it was Carlisle that spoke aloud first.
"Eleazar?" he asked, cutting Garrett off.
Garrett turned toward Carlisle and nodded. He didn't seem bothered by the interruption, and continued with his story. "Eleazar explained to me that he had a gift. He could sense oth—"
"Other gifts or talents in vampires, and humans," I finished.
Garrett studied my expression, his own face showing confusion and curiosity. "Yes. Do you know of Eleazar?"
"He is a close friend of ours. He lives in Alaska with the Denali sisters, and his mate, Carmen," Carlisle explained.
Garrett smiled at the mention of Carmen and nodded. His eyes almost seemed to glow, and he looked genuinely pleased. If vampires could blush, I had a high suspicion he would have been at that moment. "Yes, Carmen. I'm pleased to hear that they are still well, and happy. It's been over a century since I last saw them," Garrett looked down at his hands, and appeared to be lost in thought.
"I'm sorry for the interruption. Please, continue," I said after a moment.
Garrett nodded, the smile slipping away slowly as he looked back up. His eyes connected with mine and his lips twitched. "He explained to me that his kind – our kind – sometimes awoke with talents, and that he could sense these talents, even if the person of interest was still human. He had been sent to seek out specific types, and change them. He told me about my talent, and his theories on the possibilities I was capable of. Of course, I had no idea how to use my gift at the time, but I could sense something different about myself; beside the burning thirst and hardened skin."
Bella smiled slightly at the comment and looked down. I could only guess that she could identify with that feeling. I know that when I had first awoke, I knew that something was different, but that was because Carlisle's lips weren't moving, but I could hear his voice. I could only imagine what it would be like to slowly learn of a talent.
"Eleazar offered me a position with the Volturi guard, stating that I would be a valuable asset once I learned how to control my gift. He explained that I would be trained, and accepted amongst the strongest coven of our kind. I admit, the appeal was overwhelming." Garrett looked down again, perhaps uncomfortable with his admission of seeking power. He furrowed his brows and continued, "I accepted, was introduced to the other four of the guard, and was taken to feed."
Carlisle turned and looked down at the floor for a moment before closing his eyes. He knew where this was going, and he knew, just like me, that it wasn't going to be enjoyable. The Volturi didn't agree or understand Carlisle's choice of living, nor did they teach others that it was possible to abstain from human blood.
"I learned that the other two that were taken were also changed, and the seven of us headed for Italy. The three of us were introduced to the Volturi, given our sigil, and trained for five years. Eleazar and I became close friends; he was like a mentor to me. Aro realized this, and when I was finally able to be sent out on missions, he teamed us up. We made an incredible duo. I would persuade the humans to allow us in, or not ask questions, forcing them to believe us, and then convince the humans Eleazar chose to come with us. When they would awake for the first time, Eleazar would explain, and I would persuade them to join. They never truly had a choice in the matter. If they had a violent talent, and grew difficult to handle, we disposed of them. We came across many talents, but they were never exactly what Aro was looking for."
"What kind of talent did he want?" Jasper asked.
"He was looking for a shield like Renata who could project their talent onto others, however, he didn't need another physical shield; he was looking for a mental one."
Everyone turned to look at Bella whose eyes had grown large as she took in a quick breath. I pulled her closer to me, rubbing her upper arm as I tried to comfort her.
'He won't ever find her, Edward,' Carlisle assured me.
I only stared back at him. He had no way to promise that, and he knew it. Eventually Aro would see one of our thoughts, and know of her existence and her abilities, and he would stop at nothing to have her.
"He never found a mental shield?" she asked.
Garrett looked at her long and hard, his jaw rigid and his body tense. "Never, Little-Bit."
"But then…" Bella said quickly, her voice shaky.
I squeezed her to me, pressing my lips to her temple, and breathed in her scent. "They will never touch you, Bella," I whispered, even if I was a hypocrite, nearly quoting Carlisle's words.
Bella nodded slowly, squeezing my thigh as she took a shaky breath.
"So how did you come to leave the Volturi?" Jasper asked.
Garrett turned and looked at him, his face somber, and his eyebrows knitted together. "We were sent to Spain, and that is when Eleazar met Carmen. When we returned to Italy, he asked to leave the guard, explaining that he had found his mate, and didn't wish to live this life anymore. I was there when he asked, and Aro knew I could force him to let him be freed if he refused. He made a speech about how none of the guard was ever forced to stay, they were all free to leave if they ever desired it, and let Eleazar go in peace. That was the last day I saw Eleazar and Carmen," Garrett said softly, a reminiscent tone barely discernable.
"But you didn't leave with him," Bella stated curiously.
Garrett shook his head and shrugged. "No. I had nowhere to go. Eleazar asked me to come with them, but I didn't feel right. I had been feeling like I didn't belong for a while at that point, and while I would miss his company, I knew I wouldn't be happy following around a new couple.
"It wasn't until we were sent to America that I realized how much I missed home. We could no longer seek out humans with latent talents, so we sought out Vampires who could be persuaded to join us that had obvious talents. It was a violent job a lot of the time. Many newborns were destroyed when they wouldn't cooperate, and we also dealt with similar armies Jasper spoke of.
"It grew tiresome after a while, and when we returned to Italy, I told Aro I was done. I was no longer tied to anyone of the guard, so Chelsea had no effect on holding me to them, and if she had tried to hold my allegiance to the Volturi, I could have changed her mind. Aro knew he had no way to keep me. He could destroy me, or let me go and hope I came back, but Aro always had a problem with destroying anyone with a talent he envied. He let me go freely, and I never looked back."
"What did you do once you were free?" Bella asked. I could see the same curiosity and interest on her face as when Jasper had told his tale. The way she regarded Garrett was similar to Jasper, and it brought me the slightest bit of comfort that she felt she had brothers she could rely on. I wished that she would warm up to the rest of my family, but I settled to be grateful for the progress she had made with trusting us so far.
"I became a nomad. I traveled all over Europe, and eventually made my way back across the Atlantic to America. At that point, I was tired of slaughtering humans, so I tried feeding on animals. It didn't go well at first, and I only drank from them when I was particularly depressed. It was hard to see what America had become. People would lie, cheat, kill, and all for useless things that brought them no happiness. I knew that this wasn't limited to just America, but it still bothered me. Every time I felt someone make the decision to kill, it felt like it was on my hands. With our ability to remember everything, I knew exactly how many deaths I was responsible for, and it sickened me.
"Eventually, I grew extremely reclusive, and wandered the furthest northern parts of Canada with little human population. That's when I started to drink from animals exclusively." Garrett smiled slightly at Bella as she smiled at his answer. Slowly, her face fell and she looked down at her hands. "What's wrong, Little-Bit?" he asked.
"I," she said softly, pausing as she fidgeted with the hem of her shirt. "I was wondering about a comment you made once." She looked up at him and bit her lip, tugging at the lip ring gently. Her skin creased between her eyebrows and she looked worried, or confused. "You told me once about one of our kind burning while they changed. I wondered… well, I wondered how you knew that?"
'Wait, he what?' Carlisle thought quickly.
'Oh my God, that's… that's terrible,' thought Esme.
Emmett and Rosalie exchanged glances with concerned looks, both focusing on the pain that would be involved, but yet strangely curious.
I glanced at Jasper and his face was contorted; he looked like hell. Alice was staring up at him with both of his hands in hers, shaking them gently as she stroked his knuckles. "Jazz," she whispered, trying to pull his attention away from the pain he was feeling.
I looked to Garrett who was staring at the ground intently. He was completely still; his jaw tense and his eyes far away like he was lost in a memory.
"Jazz," Alice said louder.
Garrett shook his head, like as if the action would shake his thoughts away. He cleared his throat and looked at Jasper slowly. "I'm sorry, Jasper." He turned to focus on Bella and sighed. "That's not something I particularly enjoy remembering." He took a deep breath before continuing. "It was shortly after I joined Eleazar on his trips. We were in Ukraine, in the forest just outside of Podil. We had discovered a human with an intriguing latent talent earlier that evening. We initiated his change and were talking as we waited when a group of religious zealots baring crosses and torches found us. We charged to attack, thankful for the easy feed, but one of them had thrown their torch toward the human mid-change."
Alice, Esme and Bella all gasped as Carlisle closed his eyes sadly. Jasper squeezed Alice to him, but didn't look away from Garrett. I kissed Bella's hair gently and stroked her arm as Garrett continued.
"We disposed of the zealots, but we didn't know what to do about the human. The venom was already coursing through his veins, and had attached to the cells. Nothing would have put the fire out. He burned for over a day as his body repaired the skin only to melt away. Once the venom burns through most of the blood in the veins, it moves to attack the organs. It was then that the human's body lost the battle. So much had been melted away, that raw tissue and bone were exposed, and couldn't be repaired quickly enough. We listened as he screamed for twenty-eight hours before the purple smoke dissipated and the ashes scattered in the wind."
To say that we were all shocked would be putting it mildly. My family's thoughts ranged from horror to sadness. The story hit a little close to home for Carlisle, considering how he was changed into this life. His father had been the same kind of religious man as those Garrett spoke of.
"That was the great fire of Podil in 1811. It was blamed on children playing with fire, though no one witnessed anything of the sort. It spread into the city, creating a path of fire and destruction in its wake. We fled back to Italy and told Aro of what transpired, but he was barely fazed by it. He was disappointed in the loss of the talent, but ordered us further east, saying nothing more on the subject."
"Unbelievable," Bella said quietly, shaking her head.
"That's the Volturi," Jasper said, a bitter edge to his voice.
Bella and Jasper took turns asking Garrett questions, ranging from the various talents he had come across in his missions, and what training with the Volturi was like. Carlisle asked about Aro, and what he was like to work for, but wasn't pleased with the answer.
He knew that Aro treated him differently than his guard, but he didn't know the inner workings of the Volturi. The information disturbed him greatly; his friend was not the person he had always thought.
I, however, wasn't surprised by the information. I knew of the histories and how the Volturi overthrew the Romanian coven. They weren't savages, but they weren't diplomats either. A part of me wanted to curse at Carlisle for being so naïve, but I knew that he always sought to see the good in people. It's part of who he was.
The sun was coming up by the time the questions ended and we were nearly to Ottawa. Emmett had made a joke about one of the talents Garrett told us about, and Bella was giggling when Garrett turned to Carlisle and cleared his throat.
"So, Eleazar is in Alaska?" he asked.
Carlisle nodded, still smiling from the banter between Bella and Emmett. "Yes, with Carmen and the Denali sisters," he said light-heartedly.
"Irina, the one who did the artwork for our CD, she is one of the Denali sisters, correct?"
"That's right," Carlisle said, nodding.
"So, it's safe to assume that when we are finished with this tour, we will be heading back to Alaska?"
Carlisle's smile widened and he thought he knew where this was going. "Yes. We live just a few miles from the Denali coven, actually. I'm sure that Irina would love to meet you and Bella, as would her sisters, Kate and Tanya."
Garrett nodded and looked away, a slight lift at the corner of his mouth giving away his happiness at the idea of seeing Eleazar again.
"I'm sure Eleazar and Carmen would be overjoyed to see you again, as well," Carlisle added, giving Garrett the real answer had been dancing around asking for.
Garrett nodded, his lips turning upward into a full smile.
The RV slowly came to a stop outside of a large hotel. We collected our things and exited at a human pace, and entered the hotel's ornate, polished doors. Bella and I checked us all in. We had the entire top floor pretty much to ourselves because there were so many of us. The woman at the front desk was star struck as she racked her mind trying to figure out what we were all famous for. She had a rather creative mind. As we made our way upstairs, she began writing down little plot ideas and scribbled down some of our names.
She wanted to be a writer.
I smiled as her thoughts raced through various ideas for stories and shook my head as they became more and more outrageous.
"What?" Bella asked.
I shook my head again and chuckled. "Nothing. The woman at the desk just has an interesting imagination."
Bella quirked a brow once in the elevator, but didn't push for more information. I squeezed her hand as we walked down the hallway to our room with Jasper and Emmett discussing how they were going to pick rooms behind us. We stopped in front of the first room and I placed my hand on Bella's lower back as I slipped the keycard into the slot and removed it, pushing down on the handle a second latter.
Emmett and Jasper decided on rock, paper, scissors, but started bickering when Garrett persuaded them to both choose rock. Alice and Rosalie both rolled their eyes, and chose the rooms instead. Carlisle and Esme slipped into the fourth room down with a smile. They were both happy that we were all getting along so well. Esme was tickled pink that everything seemed to be better than ever.
Garrett took the last room at the end of the hall, slipping in through the doorway quickly as Jasper and Emmett complained that he played dirty. As Bella and I closed our door behind us, we heard Rosalie scold Emmett and pull him by the ear into their room.
Bella and I had shared a room for the last three cities, but had yet to do anything that truly required our own room. I didn't want to push her too quickly. She put her bag down next to the closet and trailed her fingertips over the comforter on the bed as she walked to the window. She pulled back the curtain and gazed out at the view. I stood behind her, taking it in with her and enjoying the moment of alone time with her. I wrapped my arms around her gently as I nuzzled my nose into her hair and breathed her in.
"It's amazing, isn't it?" she asked quietly. The city was vast and the sun was barely peeking out from the clouds, sending light rays over various spots and lighting them up with a glowing orange and yellow hue.
I smiled and nodded. "Mm," I agreed, kissing her hair once more. She hooked her fingertips on my arm, rubbing her thumbs over my forearms as I squeezed her gently. There was a faint knock at the door and I groaned. What now?
I couldn't hear the person's thoughts, so it was one of two people. Bella glanced up at my expression and laughed softly, rolling her eyes as she crossed the room and opened the door.
"Hey Jasper. Give me a second," she said happily. She opened the door wider, inviting him in. He took a step in through the door, letting it close behind him, and waited. Bella walked toward me, stretched up onto her tip-toes and gave me a gentle, chaste kiss and smiled. "Jasper and I are going to go hunting. I promised before the last concert. Brother, Sister time. We'll be back before the sun goes down."
I didn't know how to respond. I was looking forward to having the afternoon together, and she didn't even give me five minutes. I knew I couldn't complain, Bella deserved to have time with my family as well and holding her back would only upset her. I learned my lesson regarding that.
I nodded slightly and watched as she left the room with my brother following behind her. I listened to their footsteps as they left the hotel, and sighed as they went out of earshot.
"Wonderful," I muttered sarcastically. I unpacked our bags slowly, trying to pass the time, but quickly ran out of things to find places for. I explored the suite, and flipped on the TV, but there was nothing interesting on. I grabbed the room key from the table, and walked downstairs briskly. I pushed the front doors open and stopped when I saw Garrett outside, smoking a clove cigarette. His thoughts weren't shielded, and I quirked a brow at him.
"What?" he asked as he took a drag.
"Why do you smoke? It does nothing for us."
"So? It helps with the incognito thing, and I like the smell," he said, shrugging.
He thought back to when he was human and smoking was common. His thoughts shifted to when he was a nomad, and he came across some teens smoking outside a lounge bar. He smirked at the memories and took another drag.
"So, what are your plans for the afternoon?" I asked.
"I was going to relax in the Music-Mobile and play some acoustic tunes," he replied. His nickname for the RV was Emmett's creation after a show one night while we were packing up. It wasn't the most creative, but it stuck.
"Feel like some company?" I asked, silently pleading that he would say yes. I really just wanted something to keep my mind occupied while Bella was gone; it didn't matter what it was.
I could hear the rhythm he was piecing together in his head. It hadn't occurred to me when I asked that we would be playing music together. I'd never written anything with Garrett before. As he took the last drag of his cigarette, he nodded and smiled. "Sure," he said, blowing the smoke out slowly. He put the cigarette out in the ash tray and walked to the RV, unlocking it quickly and taking a step inside. He grabbed the acoustic guitar from the back room, and then took a seat on the sofa. I sat on the loveseat across from him as I thought about grabbing the box-drum from the trailer.
"Don't bother. You don't need the drum to make a rhythm," he said as he caught me trying to decide.
It was interesting to read his thoughts as he saw a decision being weighed. He actually repeated the options in his head within a fraction of a second before saying anything out loud. I wondered how quickly he could pick up on a decision. He smirked as he repeated my choices of asking the question or not in his head. It was like he was reading my decisions from a book.
It was really kind of bizarre.
I smirked back, chuckling softly to myself. I couldn't even imagine what would happen if Jasper was unshielded and Alice was around. We would all be picking up on each other a fraction before anything was considered, thought, or acted upon. Alice would see the choice being made, I would hear her thoughts as she had the vision, Garrett would pick up on the decision being weighed, and Jasper would sense the emotions swinging quickly one way or another as the decision was carried out. It was intriguing to think about who would sense what first. Would Alice see the vision before Garrett sensed the choices being considered? The choices would have to be thought of before they could be seen in a vision, so would I hear it before Alice saw it?
I laughed louder at the idea and shook my head. Garrett was having a similar thought, and grinned at me.
"It would be interesting to debate the semantics of it all. Our own version of what comes first, the chicken or the egg," Garrett said with a chuckle.
He strummed the guitar gently, playing the tune he had been thinking of while we were standing outside. I focused on his finger work as he played, the music flowing with a natural ease. He had to have been playing for over a century. He wasn't even thinking about the chords or finger placement as he played, he just focused on the tune in his head.
I listened as he played, picking up the nuances and repetitious beats. After a few moments, I began to beat out a rhythm on my thighs. We played a continuous stream of music that evolved after a few repetitions, morphing into a different tune altogether. I heard the change in tempo and the shifts in in his head before he played them, and adjusted to match him perfectly. He lead and I followed. Time easily passed as we completely immersed ourselves in the music.
As we played, images of Bella filled my mind, causing me to smile. I tried to focus on the happier moments we had shared lately, lingering on her laugh, smiles, and kisses. She had let me in to her life again, but I wasn't sure if she had forgiven me just yet. I knew I had a lot to make up for, and I was thankful she let me explain at all. I still wished that I could beg for forgiveness, tell her how sorry I was, but she didn't want to hear it. My actions spoke louder than words ever could, and there was no erasing our past.
As he slowed the melody, lyrics fell in to place and I debated saying them out loud. Garrett nodded once as he looped the beat back to a beginning place, repeating it a few times for me. I took a deep breath and decided to just go with it; sing whatever came to me.
"Whatever happened, dear, I never meant to hurt you. How could I cause you so much pain?" I tapped out a rhythm as I sang, letting the words flow from my mind without doubting myself, or holding anything back. "When I say I'm sorry, will you believe me? Listen to my story; say you won't leave. When I say I'm sorry, can you forgive me? When I say I will always be there, will you believe?" I shut my eyes tightly, and stopped my rhythm as Garrett let the last chord ring briefly before continuing. I took a shaky breath and focused on my voice. "Will you believe in me?"
I started the drum rhythm again as he looped back to the beginning melody. I wished that I could hear Bella's thoughts, know her fears and concerns. I prayed that eventually she would forgive me and believe that I would never leave her again. I sang as if my words were prayers, and she was my savior. "If I told you I've been cleaning my soul," I bellowed out, my voice shaky and my body trembling. "Will you open your door, and let me in; take me for who I am now, and not for who I've been?"
We played through the chorus again, louder and faster than before. Garrett sang with me as the song reached the crescendo and slowly faded out. We continued the harmony of our vocals and the melody slowed until we were silent. My eyes were still closed and I took a deep breath, exhaling slowly.
'She'll forgive you, Edward. Give her some time,' Garrett thought.
He began a new rhythm, and I jumped back in, playing a new beat and changing the tempo when he did. We played for hours, and it was one of the most calming things I had done in a long time. I could understand why music appealed to him so much. For Garrett, he used the time to clear his head, expelling his thoughts, and focusing on nothing but the melody and harmony on notes mixing together.
I heard his thoughts growing more distracted, and we slowly ended I nodded, a faint smile stretching across my lips. "Thank you, Garrett."
"Don't mention it. It was cool to jam with you. It's interesting when you can read my thoughts and shift with me as the melody changes. We would make a good impromptu band," he said as he re-tuned the guitar. Since we were stronger than humans, whenever we played harder or faster, it would pull the guitar out of tune. Jasper would constantly re-tune guitars between songs on stage without anyone ever noticing.
Garrett's thoughts quickly went blank, and I realized that he was being shielded. He shrugged, probably noticing as well. "I guess the jam session's over," he said quietly.
I nodded and sighed as I stood and walked to the door. I stepped on to the sidewalk, glancing in both directions for Bella. I smiled as she came into view and I leaned against the RV as I waited for her. Garrett stepped out, locking the door behind him, and lit up another cigarette.
"Hey guys, what are you up to?" Bella asked once she was close enough. She wrapped her arms around me and smiled before looking over at Garrett.
"Not much. We were just jamming in the Music-Mobile. How was your afternoon?" he asked.
"Good," Bella replied quickly.
"You guys write anything new?" Jasper asked.
Garrett and I both nodded as he took a drag from his cigarette and I kissed Bella's forehead.
"What, not going to share?" he asked with a smirk.
We both chuckled and shook our heads. I liked Garrett more and more.
"Come on," Bella said, tugging on my hand as she pulled away from our embrace. I followed her into the hotel, nodding back at the guys as we walked inside. They started talking about a music store that Jasper had spotted a few blocks down the street.
I couldn't stop myself from thinking about Bella and Jasper, and there supposed hunting trip. I didn't smell blood on either of them, so unless they were extremely tidy and quick, I didn't think they really went hunting. Carlisle's words in the RV the night prior echoed in my mind, and I wondered if Jasper was really helping Bella with her shield. If that were the case, why didn't she tell any of us? Surely, we could help.
I hadn't noticed the frown on my face until Bella turned around in the bedroom and frowned back at me. Her fingers smoothed the space between my eyebrows as she stared into my eyes. She brought her other hand around the back of my neck and held me close to her as her fingers trailed along my jaw. "What's wrong?" she asked quietly.
I shook my head, not trusting my voice and smiled at her. She tugged on her lip ring slightly and I suppressed a moan as my eyes watched her every movement. I unintentionally pulled her closer to me, however, and she smiled, her chest rising and falling with a silent laughter.
I smiled a real smile back at her before kissing her forehead. "I love you, Bella," I whispered against her skin. Her body tensed in my arms and her fingers froze against my skin. I felt her lashes sweep against my chin as she closed her eyes and took in a steady, slow breath.
"I love you, too, Edward," she whispered back.
I kissed her forehead again, and grinned as I pulled away slightly to look down at her. She dropped her head, avoiding my gaze, and rested her cheek against my shoulder. Her breath was cool against my neck and I shuddered. She pressed her lips to my skin, the pressure gentle, as she slowly kissed up to my chin. Her fingers wound tighter into my hair and I moaned at the combination of sensations.
I walked her slowly to the bed until the back of her calves were pressed against the frame. My hands slid up her sides and back down as I leaned down to whisper into her ear. "Sit, Love."
She bent her knees, pulling at the front of my shirt. I stepped closer as she sat on the edge of the bed and smiled down at her. She was beautiful. She played with her lip ring as she watched me, looking up through her lashes. I stood with my legs between hers and my hands slid along her jaw and down her neck.
"I've had new lyrics in my head all day. I couldn't stop thinking of you," she said quietly. Her voice was deeper than usual, more sensual.
"Oh?" I said, cocking an eyebrow slowly. She nodded, tugging on my shirt again.
I put my hands on the bed on either side of her, and leaned in close to her ear. "Sing them for me?" I whispered, more like a statement than a question.
Her fingers dragged down my stomach as she lay down; her nails grazing my skin faintly. A shiver ran down my spine and I closed my eyes as I moaned. I wondered if she knew what she did to me. I brought one knee down between her legs gently, resting my weight on my right elbow as I pressed against her. I opened my eyes and saw her tugging at her lip, her eyebrows furrowed. I pressed my lips to just below her ear and breathed in her scent.
"Only if you sing with me," she whispered.
I nodded as I continued to trail kisses down her neck slowly, my left hand sliding up her torso.
"Do you ever wonder where we would be if we had tried a little harder?" she sang quietly. She arched her back as I reached her collarbone. "It seems like yesterday that we were making plans for the future," she whispered.
I slowly pulled back to look down at her face. Her eyes were closed and her nostrils flared as she breathed in steadily. I smiled at her before leaning down to kiss her lips. Her tongue slid against mine briefly before she turned her head to the side, breaking the kiss. "But it's been so long since I have mourned the dreams… those dreams we left abandoned," she sang in my ear, her voice barely louder than a whisper. She pressed her hands against my shoulder and I leaned back to stare into her eyes. Her fingers traced my jaw as she smiled. "And I'm haunted by your face, and the memory of your kisses." She pulled me to her lips quickly, kissing me passionately as her hips rocked up against mine. She moaned as she pulled away from my lips. "Sweet kisses," she sang with a smile.
The combination of her words, voice, and body had me completely craving her in a way I had never experienced. She pressed her hips to mine again as she arched her back.
"Do you remember? I still remember so much," I sang as I watched her body writhe beneath mine. I remembered back to when I would kiss her, but always had to pull away out of fear of hurting her. I remembered how human she made me feel; the emotions she filled me with – that she still filled me with. "I remember never feeling so alive."
I pressed my lips to her throat and slid my tongue across her skin, tasting her. Her fingers slid down my back and I moaned. "Do you remember?" I sang with my lips inches from her skin. I trailed my kisses to her jaw and pressed my erection against her thigh. "I still can't forget your touch," I whispered into her ear.
She whimpered and pressed her nails into my flesh. I arched my back and hissed at the intense sensation. I pressed my fingers to the side of her neck, and my thumb just below her chin and pulled her face toward me. I rested my forehead against hers, staring into her eyes. "We swore that we would never end, and knew our love transcended space and time." My lips were inches from hers as I sang.
She threw her arms around my neck and pulled me to her. I wrapped my arms around her, laying my entire weight on top of her as our lips met in an intense kiss. She rolled us over so that I was on my back and she was straddling my waist; our limbs tangled together. I moaned as my tongue danced with hers and my body ached for more.
She broke the kiss and sat up, her hands trailing down my chest until they reached my pants. She unbuttoned my shirt slowly from the bottom up as she sang, staring into my eyes. "The memories slip away. The ghost of what we were is fading." She pressed my shirt to the side, exposing my chest and leaned down to kiss me chastely on the lips.
My hands ran up her thighs to the hem of her shirt as her lips pressed to mine. I tugged on her shirt gently and she leaned back so that I could pull it over her head. I tossed it to the side, and looked up at her.
My Bella.
She leaned back down, pressing her chest and the lacy fabric of her bra to my skin. She buried her head in the crook of my neck, kissing my collarbone. "But there is no more pain, which is funny because that night… I was dying," she sang as I wrapped my arms around her. I pulled her closer to me as I felt her sob gently. "I was dying," she cried.
My heart broke and I closed my eyes. I hated myself for every pain I had ever caused her. I rolled us back to the center of the bed with her beneath me again, and took her face in my hands. I held her jaw tightly, and stared at her until she looked up at me. I smiled somberly at her and sighed. "I'm so sorry, Bella," I whispered. I kissed her once on the lips very gently before I shrugged out of my shirt and tossed it aside.
"Now I don't even recognize the girl I swore that someday I… would marry," I sang as I held her gaze. I slid one hand behind her neck and the other down her torso, and pulled her up toward me. I wrapped an arm around her back, holding her up as I kissed her throat. I worked my way to her lips and tugged at her lip ring with a smile.
"But I can't forget her face, and I can't forget her kisses," I sang, our faces centimeters apart. Her breath was sweet and I couldn't stop myself from licking her lower lip slowly. I pulled on it gently, sucking her lip between mine. She moaned loudly and I smiled again. "Sweet kisses," I whispered against her lips.
She threw her arms around my neck and crashed her mouth to mine. I kissed her like the world was ending. I held her face, tilting my head to the side as I slid my tongue against hers. She whimpered and I moaned, thrusting against her as she wrapped her legs around my waist. She arched her back and I reached around to her shoulders and dragged my fingers along her flesh.
I unhooked the clasp of her bra, and she quickly slipped it off, never breaking our kiss. I pulled her body to mine like our lives depended on it, and quickened the pace of my tongue against hers. I tugged on her lip and let go as I gasped for air. "Do you remember? I still remember so much," I cried out, my voice shaky.
"I remember always feeling so alive," she whispered into my ear. She licked my lobe and my eyes rolled back as I moaned. She pulled me back with her as she lay down on the bed. Her hands moved from my neck to my chest, and I stared down into her lust filled eyes as my hands moved across her breasts.
I slowly slid down, breaking eye contact and leaving gentle kisses on her ribs just below her breasts. She arched her back, gasping as I teased her skin. "Do you remember?" I whispered between kisses across her abdomen. "Because I still can't forget your touch."
Her hands lingered on my shoulders for a moment before they weaved into my hair, tugging me gently to her. I rested my head on her stomach, pressing my cheek to her skin as I closed my eyes.
"God, I remember so much," she whispered as she held me to her.
With my eyes closed, and the feel of her skin against mine, I remembered back to a time when her heart beat steadily as she slept against my chest. I nuzzled against her as I sighed contently, happy that she was in my life again, and this time forever.
"I love you," she said softly, her hands sliding from my hair to my shoulders as she traced patterns across my skin.
"I love you," I whispered.
We laid there in a comfortable silence – my head on her stomach, her arms around me. Everything was perfect, but I couldn't keep my mind from wandering. I wrapped my arms around her waist and squeezed her to me, not wanting the moment to end because I could sense that there was something she wasn't telling me, and it scared me.
It scared me a lot.
A/N: Pictures of a Luxury RV (not the Cullen's exactly) can be seen on my profile.
HUGE, AMAZING, MASSIVE thank you to James (z3raphim) for not only pre-reading this for me last minute when my nerves got the best of me, and panic set in, but also for staying up insanely late to research for Garrett's history. Over five months ago I emailed him with my idea of Garrett's story and I was very vague in what I was looking for, but I wanted it to be real events, and he pulled some amazing rabbits out of hats, and found me the events of the USS Philadelphia, and the Tripoli war in less than 24 hours. Again, I can't say it enough - Thank you, J!
So yes, everything in Garrett's history is based on very real events. No vampires though, unfortunately. Darn.
Also, a huge thank you to all of you reading this story. It's my baby, and I'm very passionate about it. I never dreamed that I would meet, and become such close friends with so many people. You guys are all amazing, and I'm touched by your comments and time dedicated to reading my little story. There are so few AU(vamp) fics out there that get noticed, and it's kind of sad, considering what the fandom is based on. So thank you - for reading a vamp story that has music, extreme angst, and concerts, and pretending it's all normal.
Song question of the chapter: Time to get kinky. What song do you relate to sex, remember having sex to, think about sex because of, or just sounds like pure sex? Come on, girls. Give it to me!