A/N: Credit for this chapter's idea goes to Utena-Puchiko-nyu and Nelly-Sempai
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"Tada!" said Grimmjow upon arriving at the entrance to his home. He threw the limp body of his prey onto the ground before Ulquiorra. The smaller espada did not look impressed.
"This is it?" he asked, "You were gone for days and all you have to show for it is this piece of garbage? I should have gone myself."
"You're welcome," spat Grimmjow, "I don't think you realize, Ulquiorra, that there's nothing left around here for us to eat. Two arrancar as powerful as we are shouldn't be living in such close proximity. We've destroyed the food chain in this entire area. I had to leave our territory just to find this...garbage."
"Then we should split up," Ulquiorra said simply, "As much as I like you, Grimmjow, I like being an arrancar even more. I will not allow myself to regress back into a vasto lorde." Grimmjow felt his jaw tighten in anger after hearing his mate's words.
"Fine, but I get the kid."
"No."
"Too bad. I'm taking him." He pushed past Ulquiorra into the cave, but the other man used sonido to block his path.
"I'm afraid not, Grimmjow," Ulquiorra hissed.
"Grim!"
Both arrancar turned, surprised, to the tiny voice that had spoken. With both of his parents staring at him in disbelief, Sol was ecstatic. He clapped his hands excitedly. "Grim! Grim!" he repeated.
"Really?" began the sixth espada turning to Ulquiorra, "'Grim'? Not 'daddy' or something like that? What have you been teaching him?"
"I didn't teach him that," replied Ulquiorra, still stunned over hearing his son speak, "But what's wrong with 'Grimmjow'? That is your name. I deserve the title of 'daddy' far more than you."
"Hell the fuck no!" Grimmjow said, "I'm 'daddy'. You're 'mommy'."
"No," declined Ulquiorra, turning his back on Grimmjow. He knelt down in front of the child, looking at him seriously. To Grimmjow, the sight was almost comical.
"Now say my name," he demanded of the boy. Grimmjow burst out laughing. He'd never seen Ulquiorra address the child directly before, and now he could see the reason. The poor baby looked positively frightened.
"That's fucking hilarious!" wheezed Grimmjow, "He's gonna pee himself he's so scared. He thinks you're scolding him. You've gotta use a different voice."
"A different voice?" asked Ulquiorra, confused, "How will that make a difference?" Grimmjow knelt down next to him.
"Is Mommy scaring you?" Grimmjow said to the child in a sickly sweet voice. Sol's ears perked up immediately. "Do you like me better?" He held out his arms and beckoned the child to him.
"You sound ridiculous," commented Ulquiorra, "And he will never chose you over me." He turned back to the child and held out his hands as well.
Sol's eyes went from one parent to the other, looking uncomfortable under the pressure. He stood up on wobbly legs. Whimpering softly, he lowered his ears and curled his tail between his legs before taking a few unbalanced steps...
...and falling into Ulquiorra's arms.
"Ah, fuck you, Ulquiorra!" Grimmjow swore, letting his hands drop, "The kid is so damn smart, he knows you'll punish him if he doesn't pick you."
"I believe you are only jealous," breathed Ulquiorra as he buried his face in the baby's soft hair.
"Ch..." Grimmjow made to stand up, but Ulquiorra caught his wrist.
"Let's move from this cave," he said, "We'll find a new place to live where food isn't scarce. And when we have to, we'll move from there also."
Grimmjow stared at him for a moment. It was stupid to get so pissed off over something so little, but he was sick of feeling unappreciated around here.
"Grim..." Sol was looking at him with pleading eyes. Sometimes he really just wanted to hurt the kid for being so damn cute. No one should be able to affect him like that.
Ulquiorra, reluctantly, and with much difficulty, held out the child for Grimmjow. For someone as horrible as Ulquiorra at sharing, it was a big deal.
"Fine," Grimmjow sighed. Instead of taking the offered baby, Grimmjow slid his arms around Ulquiorra and drew in both of them.
While pressed awkwardly between the two adults, Sol watched them as they did the thing where they put their mouths together. He could copy that. He wanted attention too. Even though the two of them hadn't finished, he decided to take his turn, stretching up and placing a few licks on his his father's lips.
"Oi!" said Grimmjow, stepping away and wiping his mouth, "I can only deal with one at a time!" he glared at Ulquiorra, whose face had flushed ever so slightly.
"I certainly didn't teach him that."
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A/N: I really couldn't stop laughing while writing this chapter. I always imagined Ulquiorra would have trouble talking to a little kid. Hell, I would probably die of fright if Ulquiorra ever talked to me.