A/N: Technically speaking this chapter would be better if it had been published when it was actually Christmas rather than late February. However, I don't think you would all be best pleased until I saved this until December!

Thank you very much to everyone who reviewed, I am very grateful and you honestly have no idea how pathetically excited I am when I log into my email account and see the words 'Review Alert'. It's quite sad really x)

Disclaimer: I don't own Twilight.

Jailbait: Chapter Twenty Five

Rachel's POV

Okay, so I'll come clean – I was a Christmas freak. Something about the festive season rendered me incapable of behaving like a mature, settled, adjusted adult. Suddenly, as if a switch had been flicked, I reverted back to five year old behaviour.

I had insisted on a tree, a huge spruce affair. Paul had found it and roped in a few pack members to uproot it from its former position in the forest and relocate it into our front room. I had quickly gotten to work on the decorations and now it was covered in a thick, gaudy layer of random baubles, assorted trinkets, twinkling fairy lights and about six million strands of tinsel. An incredibly unattractive fairy sat, rather grouchily, at the top of the tree.

Dad had complained a little half heartedly about the tree but it was evident that he didn't mind that much. We hadn't bothered much with Christmas for years. Mom had loved Christmas and we just didn't have the heart to have a proper celebration without her. The last two years I had spent Christmas on the beach, in Hawaii, with Becky and Nick. We could celebrate and enjoy ourselves properly because it was so unlike any Christmas we had spent with Mom. Becky and I had done it that way deliberately. Before then, when we still lived at home, we had spent Christmases trapped in the house. I had made limp turkey dinners, which no one had enjoyed much, and then we had watched awful television all day. We had all been glad when the one day of enforced festivities was over and we could go back to our normal lives.

This year, however, I was determined to have a real Christmas. I was happier than I had been in a very long time and this happiness had decided to manifest itself in a whirlwind of festive cheer and manic activity.

I had been out Christmas shopping twice, having decided that once wasn't quite enough, and dragged Paul along with me both times. He hated shopping but I needed the help. I had ordered a turkey with all the trimmings and it was ready to collect on Christmas Eve. I had also made a gingerbread house, like Mom used to; using her recipe to ensure it was done properly. Actually, tell the truth, I had made two gingerbread houses – one for me and Dad and Jake (and Paul) and one for the pack (the second house had lasted for approximately five minutes before being utterly demolished).

I had found it incredibly difficult to buy gifts this year. Becky had been the easiest, although being her twin and knowing her better than I knew myself, I had never exactly struggled to buy her anything. I had bought her a big fat book of baby names, a photo album (she was a photo collector, she never took them preferring instead to hoard them in huge albums) and a few baby clothes. So yes, they weren't all things she could use but I knew she'd love them anyway. I had bought bars of soap wrapped in pretty papers for Em and Kim. I hadn't bothered buying for the whole pack but I was close to both Emily and Kim, Emily especially. We were all wolf girls now. Emily and I were better friends simply because of our circumstances. We had both left school (Kim was in her final year still), neither of us had a job or anything much to do with our time.

The biggest problems had been Paul, Jake and Dad. Paul and Jake were the hardest to buy for – they ate so much that food gifts were appreciated but lasted about five seconds, they destroyed any clothes they bought, neither was that into music or films.

I had finally found something for Paul, relented and given Jake money (like he had been asking for) and had a picture of the whole family framed for Dad.

I had wrapped these beautifully – I was one of those people who could just wrap presents, a weird yet oddly useful skill – and placed them under our monster of a tree.

I walked into the living room, pleased to see that Jake was home for once.

"Hey." I smiled, sitting down next to him on the sofa.

"Hey yourself." He said suspiciously. "Why are you so...cheery?"

His suspicion was understandable – we had established an uneasy truce since our falling out over his freak love, we trod carefully around each other at the moment and spoke rarely, I certainly never initiated any kind of conversation. I saddened me to feel that I couldn't talk to my own brother but I just didn't know what to say or do anymore.

"It's Christmas!" I squealed.

"Yeah." He chuckled and rolled his eyes. "About that, well...I know you want a family Christmas, so...I was wondering if Ness could come here for Christmas?"

My good mood evaporated instantly. I scrutinised his expression closely for a long moment and prayed that this was all some crude joke. Please, please, please let it be a joke. Please.

It wasn't. He was serious, one hundred percent serious.

"Rach?" He prompted, breaking the silence.

"Erm..." I said playing for time.

"So that's a no then?" He said in a flat tone.

"Yes."

"Knew it."

"Jake, don't be like that."

"Be like what?"

"All sulky and angry and mad at me all the time. It's not my fault. If I remember right, and I've got a pretty good memory, you thought exactly the same as me up until a few weeks ago!"

He glared at me, "I just think that as my sister you should have made some sort of effort."

"Like all that effort you've put into my relationship with Paul?" I said scathingly. I hadn't intended to say that. Of course I was a little upset that Jake loathed Paul, but it certainly made no difference to our relationship. I wasn't sour about it, I shouldn't have stooped to that level.

"That's different." He said automatically.

I laughed once humourlessly. "Different? How the hell is it different Jacob? He imprinted on me, you imprinted on...her. I thought you might understand more now that you see how he feels but you obviously don't."

"At least I didn't refuse to meet Paul."

"Yes, because Paul isn't a danger to anyone!"

"Nessie isn't dangerous!"

"Which was why the pack, and you, were ready to take her out."

"That was before we knew about her, she's not dangerous. She wouldn't hurt you. Never."

"But she might. I don't want to take the risk." I pleaded with him to understand, he resisted stubbornly.

"There is no risk."

"I think there is."

"I'm spending Christmas at Charlie's then."

I narrowed my eyes. That was a low blow. He knew I had dreamed of a perfect family Christmas, he'd ruined that."Fine."

"Yeah. Well. I'm going out now."

"Fine! Go! Just leave like you always do!" I screamed at him.

He turned, his face blazing with rage. I suddenly remembered the golden rule – never antagonise a werewolf. He was shaking violently, huge shudders shooting through him, his outline blurred. I was petrified, my mind screaming at me to get away, to run, to get out of the way...

He took a deep breath and he was Jacob again, a mad Jacob, but still human.

"You know what, Rach? I thought you were better than this. I thought you were a better person, guess I was wrong. You have your little life here with the pack and Paul. You might think you're happy but you'll be wrong because I'll always be in the background, me and Ness and you'll always know how you treated your own brother. We'll be the real happy ones. Whenever you've grown up enough to be a mature, accepting adult...give me a call. I love you Rach, you're my sister, but I don't like you anymore." He turned on his heel and walked away from me.

My legs crumbled under me and I landed heavily on the floor, instinctively drawing my knees into my chest and wrapping my arms tightly around them. I blinked back tears. I couldn't, wouldn't, shouldn't cry. My cheeks ached from the effort of holding the impending tears in.

I hated arguing with Jacob. It was a usual occurrence at the moment, this one was different though. It was final. He wasn't coming back. That much I knew. He wouldn't come back to me again until I apologised.

I just couldn't do it. I couldn't. I was a wolf girl, trained to fear vampires. Truth was, I was scared of Nessie. I couldn't picture her although Jake had described her to me and Paul had even tried to describe her (using a picture taken from Sam's memory – he could no longer see Jacob's.) I was scared. Like all humans, the unknown terrified me. Renesmee was about as unknown as it could get.

I was scared she would hurt me. I was scared that she wouldn't hurt me and then I would have no excuse to meet her again. I was scared I would hate her. I was scared I would like her.

I was scared of her. I couldn't tell Jacob that of course. He would laugh at me, leaving me feeling humiliated, slightly ridiculous and not at all comforted, and then he would try and persuade me that I would be fine and then, when I still refused to cooperate, as I undoubtedly would, he would get mad at me again.

I hated arguing with him. Jacob wasn't built to be angry, he was ferociously happy. He didn't suit anger or resentment, as such his final closing speech to me had been sensible and adult and mature. He was right, I was being childish and stupid.

I was losing Jacob, hell I had probably just lost Jacob but I couldn't do it, I couldn't go over and apologise and tell him I was sorry and that I'd quite like to meet Renesmee because it would be lying and I hated liars and lying. I would be lying because I wasn't sorry, well I was but not about what I had said, I was sorry I had hurt him. I would be lying because my apology would be insincere. I would be lying because I did not ever want to meet the Cullen half breed.

I pulled my mobile out of my pocket and dialled the familiar number

"Hello?" His voice alone soothed me a little.

"Hey Paul."

"Baby, what's wrong?" He picked up on the melancholy note in my voice.

"Erm...are you busy?" I knew he wouldn't be, when it came to me he'd cancel anything and everything, it was polite to at least ask though.

"Nope, I'm just at home. Want me to come over?"

"No, I'll come to you. If that's okay?" I didn't want to be at the scene of the crime right now, I could clear my head at Paul's, maybe even sleep the night as I did every now and then.

"Sure, sure." He agreed. I winced at the little phrase, Jake's phrase. "See you in a minute then."

"Love you."

"You too, always." He promised.

I shut the phone, and peeled myself off of the floor, smiling faintly already. I had lost Jacob, perhaps forever; I had to hold on tight to those I still had left. I needed Paul right now, needed him more than ever.