Your name is Cronus Ampora and you have no idea how to go about telling Kankri what happened.
It doesn't help that your head was already fucked up from Latula smacking it with her skateboard a billion times, but whenever you run into Kurloz you always have a weird feeling afterward. You're never really sure what happened, even though half the time you're a fucking mess, shaking and crying and screaming and bloody.
Kankri's just watching you patiently, waiting for you to say something. You shift awkwardly, reaching up to rub the side of your head and wincing when you come into contact with a bump. Ouch. One of the spots Latula got you. You would fucking hate that bitch if she wasn't so hot.
"So, what happened?" Kankri asks after a few seconds. You can just tell he's dying for you to say your piece so that he can go off on something, and you figure that you should so that he can say his thing and you and Dirk can go back to what you were doing. He was just getting you to forget your problems, the last thing you need to do is regurgitate them for Kankri Vantas.
"I... well, you know how Kurloz - wait, trigger warning, mind fuckery - does his stuff, so I'm not sure really what happened... also, uh, trigger warning, abuse, Latula sort of bashed my head in with a skateboard so it's already a little fuzzy-"
"Cronus," he says, one hand hesitantly setting down on top of yours. "I did say to tag your triggers, but I am worried about you. If you feel you need to say it first and tag later, that would be acceptable. It is highly unlikely that I will be majorly affected by what you have to say in a negative way."
You take a deep breath. Alright. This is going to be harder now that you can't hide behind trigger warnings. Fuck, you never thought you'd think that.
"I... well, I better just start from the beginning," you say, pulling your knees to your chest and hooking your arms around them. You feel like a little kid. Especially since you forgot to grease your hair this morning. Too much shit going on too fast, you guess. Wait. He's looking at you. You should probably keep talking. "Well, I wanted to do something cool for Dirk since we've never really gone on a real date, so I wanted to... like, make a picnic, so I did, I got everything ready and shit, and then we got ready to go and we went and he decided to stop walking around Latula and Mituna, but I figured that maybe it would be fine, maybe they'd just ignore us, Latula usually ignores me so I figured that... well, I figured it'd be okay. And then Mituna started being an asshole and I..."
"You did what you usually do when this sort of thing happens?" he suggests, a little hesitantly. "You unloaded all of your frustration on him."
"Yeah," you admit, running a hand through your hair. "I did. I totally forgot that Latula was standing, like, right there, and she hit me with her skateboard and nearly broke my face, and then Dirk stepped in and I thought he'd just tell her to fuck off and she would, and he was doing pretty good on getting her to leave but then Kurloz showed up and..."
You stop for a breath, clutching your legs tighter to your chest. Fuck. It hurts. Your chest hurts. Your back hurts. Your head, oh your head, hurts. It all hurts and talking about it is just making it worse. Kankri isn't talking yet, but you have a feeling that once the entire story is done he'll start, and while you usually listen to him - pretty eagerly, in fact - and enjoy his company, right now you have a feeling that he'll just give you a headache.
It was different when he was the only one you had.
"Continue," Kankri says, and you half expect him to pull out a pad of paper or whatever those human slutty moirails do.
"I... Dirk took on him and Latula hit me with her skateboard again, right in the back of the head, and I went down and I don't know what was going on except she kept hitting me... and Mituna kept screeching about something or another and..." you're shaking, you're shaking so much and it's horrible. You swallow and continue. "And then I think Dirk got her away from me somehow, because she was gone. But then something happened. Kurloz did something to Dirk and I was so fucking angry and I ran at him and..."
This is where you draw a blank. You have no fucking idea what happened next. You have a vague idea, you remember pain and blood and something awful being in your head make it stop make it stop, but you struggle to put it into words. Kankri expects you to, you can see it on his face, with his oversized red turtleneck and his politely blank expression.
"And I don't really remember after that, just that I was lying on the ground and everything hurt and Dirk picked me up and carried me home," you finish lamely. After a brief hesitation, you add the appropriate trigger warnings. Kankri is nodding slowly, and you make yourself comfortable, sure that he's going to start in on one of his sermons and it's going to be forever before you can continue your fun times with Dirk Strider, but then, lo and behold, there's the man himself.
Dirk opens the door and edges in.
"I heard the trigger warnings," he says, almost apologetically, and you know almost immediately that he was just sitting outside the door, listening. You would be mad, but you didn't really say anything that he didn't already know. It's nothing really weird.
Kankri, however, is pissed. He stands up, straightening his sweater and brushing past Dirk with more force than you knew he had in him. Before leaving the room, he turns to look at you.
"Thank you for sharing that with me, Cronus, and thank you for tagging your triggers appropriately, although I would approve if you used a bit less profanity in your speaking. You were worked up, I understand, but please keep an eye on that. It could get very problematic. I will see myself out," he says, and he slams the door. Dirk watches him, grimacing.
"Did I fuck it up?" he asks, and you sigh, lying back on the bed.
"Dunno. He's weird. Hey, maybe he's pale for me," you muse. "I mean, before you came along he was the only one I had to, you know, talk to and stuff like that, so maybe he's jealous. Thinks you're going to be my moirail, when it's obvious that we're something way redder than that. I know he's not red for me, he's got such a crush on Latula, even if he thinks he's totally free on the whole quadrant thing, but..."
He flops down next to you as you trail off, and you look over at him. Hopefully he'll be helping you forget your problems again in the very, very near future.
From the looks of it, he probably will be.
i don't ship red cronkri at all but man pale cronkri is the best like man one of my pale otps right there