chapter 25

Sean pulled into the lot and slowly cruised to where Jo had parked. He hopped out to give her a hand. It was automatic by now. As was the fact that she waited for him to do it, too.

He parked and hurried to catch up to her, slinging the camera over his shoulder. Wanted to have both hands free. Just in case.

Jo had the rear car door open and was bending down to find the bag with the change of clothes. It had shifted under the seat a little. She grabbed it, backed away to shut the door and ran straight into Sean.

"Uhhh." He grabbed her hips as she pushed into him. "Whoa!"

"Sorry," she squeaked.

"I'm not." He crooned over the top of her head. He was still holding her against him "I think I'm beginning to like you crashing into me. Feels good... well, most of the time."

She snorted. "Unless I smack you in the nose." She pushed back a little. "Give me some room to shut the door."

"Oooh. Do that again." He purred. "I know! I'll find my old helmet...face guard. Then I'll be safe." He pulled her back and spun her to face him. Held her close. "What do you think of that?"

"Safe," she repeated in a low voice. "Not safe enough." She looked suddenly serious. She hugged herself in close to him, her arms around his waist.

"Not safe?" He repeated. He wrapped his arms tighter. "I'll keep you safe, baby." He looked down at her, like he wanted to kiss her again. His eyes were glowing.

"I'm not the one, I'm worried about."

"What does that mean?" He frowned a little and the glow left his eyes. He still held her, but now he had his hands on her shoulders and he held her slightly away from him.

"I worry about you," she confessed.

His scowl deepened. "Why? Somebody say something?"

She looked a little confused now. "No, what would they tell me?" She put her hands on his face, trying to smooth out the scowl. "I worry about you. You are so angry all the time. It's not good for you... or the people around you... you nearly bit Sexy's head off because we talked."

Sean looked saddened. "I.. I'm trying, Jo. I know I can be a jerk. But, you hafta know. I would never hurt you... or let anybody else hurt you." He sighed. "That's why I need you... keep me sane. As crazy as you make me, you keep me sane."

She gave a little smile at his confession that she made him crazy. That made two of them. "I know," she told him. She had never picked up a vibe from him, that he would ever hurt a woman. She stretched up on tiptoes and kissed him.

He just folded around her like he was trying to absorb every inch of her. Or melt into her. She was so tiny, so sweet and so strong. Most other women would have run, he knew that. But not Jo. She fought for things. He wanted to be one of those things.

"I think... I think we better get these shots inside. Before I do something stupid." He mumbled hoarsely. And pushed her gently away. He cleared his throat and grinned sheepishly. "You make me crazy," he repeated.

"Bloody Hell," she exclaimed. "You're not wrong." She had to stop herself before she had climbed half up his thigh. He made her do all sorts of things she usually didn't. Like pash her partner in the carpark; for one. She slammed the car door.

He took a big breath and smiled. "C'mon." He took her arm. Sean dropped Jo by the locker-room and continued up to the tech department.

Jo got changed and put the red and black outfit in the locker. She changed into jeans and a fitted t-shirt. She should have put in a change of underwear, too. Next time. She put back on the black pumps. That was all she had. It would look okay. She brushed her hair and thought through what Sean had said. He did seem to be trying; that was true. And Sexy thought he had made big strides. She locked up and headed up to their office.

Frost saw her come in as he went back from getting a cup of the awful office coffee. He waved at her to join him. Figured he'd check on the new agent, see how she and Vetter were getting along. Maybe she could explain what had made him blow up the other morning, too. Gonzalez wasn't talking.

She saw the imperious wave and detoured to the SAC's office. "G'day," she said as she poked her head in the door. "Whatd'ya need? Sean's at tech... we got some shots of the guys we hope are the buyers this morning."

"That's excellent, Jo. Things are progressing, then. How're you and Sean getting along? He get you everything you need? Got you settled in the safe house and all?"

Don't blush... don't blush. She ordered herself. How was she getting along with Sean? Dear God. "Aahhh... fine... the house is ...fine..." I made him bleed, he made me come so hard. Maybe not that one.

The SAC looked at his newest agent a bit concerned. She seemed hesitant to say anything. "You two aren't having any problems, are you? He's behaving himself?"

He sighed, unhappily. "Look, Jo. If he's giving you a hard time, you need to tell me. I know he wasn't happy being assigned to you... ?"

He tried to comfort her. "But he'll come around. He's my best man...?"

"He's been very helpful... given me advice... everything is so different here..." She coughed a little. "He's even introduced me to some of his friends."

"I heard about the barbecue. D and Candace are like his family."

"Yes, I understand they are pretty much his only family." She was fishing for what Frost knew.

"That's true. Since Stacy was killed... she was his wife... D has been all that has kept him together. Went through counseling, but it didn't do much for him. You know he lost his badge for a while? "

She remembered him saying he could talk to her. "Lost his badge?" So he had lost it before? Sexy said he was in danger of losing it now.

Frost sighed. "I hate to lay this on you. You're probably pretty overwhelmed as it is. Just trying to get settled and fit in. Sean took off after... he got out of the hospital. I warned him he couldn't go off on his own... he just threw his badge on my desk. Next thing I know he's in Columbia. He found Memo... when no one else could."

"You did say he was your best man," she reminded him.

Frost smiled. "He can be a bit of a loose cannon. He still has a wicked temper. But he's been working on that... ever since he... uh. Jo, there's no easy way to say this. Sean lost his badge because he was on a set-up, a sting, and the guy that killed his wife was there. He must have said something. Sean lost it completely. Beat the man to death with his fists. And we lost three agents when everything went to hell."

He put his hand over hers. "That's not in the official report and goes no further, okay? D covered it up."

Jo had no idea what facial expression she wore; she thought she might still be breathing because she hadn't fainted yet. She forced herself to blink.

"I u-understand," she managed to say.

"Are you sure? He's not that man any more, Jo. He's better in some ways. But he's still bottling up a lot of anger."

"Yes, I know... he's still angry..." Her head was spinning.

"Aha. That look have something to do with the little fracas in the office?" the SAC smiled to let her know he wasn't upset, just curious.

So he did know about that. She would not have said anything until she was sure. "Gonzalez made a comment... about my... physical attributes. I didn't understand the full implications of the comment; a lot of language is slang that I don't understand. Sean told me later it was particularly offensive." She shrugged. "He... ahhh... took objection... physically..."

"You mind telling me what he said?" Frost looked particularly unhappy.

"If I can, it was something about me being 'primo ass' and he asked if Sean was 'hitting' it? Something like that at any rate. As I said, I didn't understand it."

Frost actually blushed and he stuttered for a moment. "Wha.. what?" he took a gulp of coffee and made a face. Took a deep breath. "Do you want to press charges? It's certainly within your rights... and he deserves it."

"Sean suggested Human Resources was not the best way to deal with it." She was conciliatory. Made Sean look reasonable.

"Human Resources! Hell, no, my dear. That's sexual assault. Criminal offence." He rubbed his hand over his mouth. "He'd be on suspension, at the least."

She had no idea it was that serious. "I don't think it would benefit Sean or me to have Gonzalez suspended. But he has been a … little odd. I don't want to cause more trouble. Perhaps if you could have a quiet word in his shelly pink?"

"His what?" Frost's bushy white eyebrows drew down.

"Sorry...I meant have a quiet talk to him... shelly pink … ear..." she explained.

"Ah... yes. I can certainly do that. If you're sure you don't want to pursue this?" he seemed relieved.

She thought of something else. "As long as Sean isn't in trouble for hitting him... dealing with it in his own way... you know."

Frost sighed. "Yes, I surely do. But in this case, I think I can cut him some slack."

He glanced up. "In fact, I think he may be looking for you." He nodded at the hallway. "Any time you need anything, Jo. You come to me." He stood and walked her to the door.

"Thank you for your time... and I'll do that."

Sean saw them together and frowned for a moment, but he was too excited about their discovery to stay concerned for long. "Boss! I think we may have them. Jo got some great pictures today. We ID'd some of the Bones and two members of that Malaysian gang the Feebs have been investigating."

He nearly bounced, he was so wound up. "And, Jo and I got some other info yesterday... supposed to be a meet Wednesday. We could set up a take-down..."

Jo heard him through the haze in her head. Maybe this job would be over sooner than even she had anticipated. She found her eyes drawn to his hands... his big, strong hands. She thought she might be sick.

"Excuse me," she muttered and she ran for the bathroom.

She never heard the rest of the discussion. That the FBI was investigating this group and would need to be informed. That they would most likely want to let this 'sale' go through so they could trace the weapons back to their ultimate purchasers.. and they would be the drug suppliers, as well. It wasn't over, yet. Not by a long shot.

Jo was spewing her guts out. Frost had given her information that had truly shattered her. She knew plenty of people who had shot and killed others, heck she'd done it herself... But to beat someone to death with his bare hands? That, she didn't know what to do with. The same hands that had touched her and given her pleasure... those hands... She looked at herself in the mirror. Fuck, she'd only been here a week.

She washed her face and rinsed her mouth. She tried to calm herself down. She had to think. She knew he could be gentle; she'd seen that. What did Frost say? That the guy must have said something to him to cause him to react like that?

She had an awful realisation. He must have told Sean, he had killed his wife. Fuck! That was the only thing that would explain it. He must have bragged about it to what he thought was another crim. Told him he killed a cop's wife. A fatally stupid mistake.

Sean watched Jo run off, wondering what was up. She's sick? Something she ate? Oh, crap, don't tell me it's that time of the month. Not now.! He didn't know whether to go check on her or not.

"Right," she told her mirror self. "You are going out there and you will be professional. You are not a quitter. It wasn't in the report. Even if you researched, you wouldn't have known about this one." She smiled brightly at herself; it looked forced, but it would have to do. She shook her hair, ran her fingers through it. Fixed up her lippie* and went back to her office. [*lipstick]

Sean was sitting at the desk, making phone calls. He looked up as Jo came in and slid into her chair. She looked green. He frowned, told whoever was on the phone he'd call back and hung up.

"You okay? You don't look so hot." He frowned. "I was gonna order us dinner, but maybe you should go home?" He was giving her his full attention.

"I … I." She took a swig out of a bottle of water. "Must be the change in the water," she suggested. "I feel pretty crook*." [*sick]

"Yeah? Took a whole week? Usually happens a lot faster than that. Maybe it was the sandwich..." they sat in the truck for a while. Sean looked at her carefully. Something was definitely not right. Not only was she pale, her hands shook and she seemed to be having trouble looking him in the eye.

He grumbled. "You want me to drive you?" He kind of hoped she said no. He really didn't want to let any time pass before getting the calls made. He really only had one day to get this thing set up and God knew the Feebs were slow. He wanted his team set up beforehand at the very least.

"I don't want to let you down... but I just..." She held her hand over her mouth. She looked like she was going to be sick.

"Just go, I'll call you if anything comes up," he grunted at her. Then he added, "Get better!"

She nodded furiously, grabbed her bag and hurried out of the office. She flew into the locker-room and collected her clothes and shoes; she wanted those shoes. By the time she had reached her car, she was a little calmer. Just being away from him allowed her to think.

She was overreacting; she knew it, but... She had just fallen apart in the last week. And now she was running from the job she came here to do. Tonight; she would give herself tonight and then she would be back at her desk tomorrow.

She followed the GPS instructions automatically, her mind pinging everywhere. At the house she almost breathed a sigh of relief when she got in the door. It was the closest thing she had to a haven right now.

Why didn't anyone tell her this? Because you might react like this?She sculled* [*drank in one go] a glass of wine and felt a little better. She had a shower and scrubbed herself in the shower; as if it would make any difference now.

She dressed in a t-shirt and loose sleep pants. She really should eat something. She ate some breakfast cereal. Didn't feel like cooking or ordering in anything. She took another big glass of wine to bed and she took her pad and paper with her.

Sometimes when she was stuck on a decision she wrote a list of 'for and against'. She did that now. She wrote 'Sean' on the top and scored a heavy line down the centre of the page.

She piled some pillows behind her back, pulled her knees up and laid the pad on them. She tapped the pen on her lips and tried to think rationally.

'Strange land', 'South Central gang violence' went on the 'against' side, as did 'different culture'. Sexy had offered to give her lessons on their culture for God's sake. 'Aggressive', 'possessive' and 'violent' went down too. In a moment of whimsy she added 'don't speak the language'. She was away from her whole support group. She added 'family & friends' to the negatives too. 'He's my partner'; she had told herself that a thousand times. 'Leaving Oz'. That was a biggie, she loved Australia. Sean was never going to leave.

She blinked. She had just taken a leap into the future; a future where they were together and debating where they lived. That surprised her.

She looked at the blank 'for' side. There was Sean; the way he made her feel. He touched her and her whole body heated up. Seeing him naked made her mouth go dry. And the sex? Oh God, the sex. He was damaged and brittle and clutchy and he wore his heart on his sleeve and he wanted her. And that was part of what scared her; that he seemed to want her so badly. They hadn't even practised safe sex; they had such a heated encounter. Thank goodness she had the jab in the arm contraceptive before she came and Sean... She guessed he hadn't been having sex with anyone.

She had written 'SEAN' down while she was thinking. She had put little serifs on the ends of the letters and shaded it. Like she used to do in High School.

She looked at the piece of paper. A whole lot of negatives, and one massive positive.

Him.

She startled suddenly as she heard a noise downstairs. She climbed out of bed, reached for her gun, and made her way to the door to listen. She tried to remember if she had left any lights on downstairs.

FF_2154210_ - 25/06/2011 05:39:00 AM