I can't stick to this plan. I wanted to just stick to between-scenes of my own imagining and stream-of-consciousness, but I can't sustain it. I wanted them to have one more walk before he returned to Downton, so I'm shoving this in that narrow slice of time between when Ethyl is let go and His Lordship goes to Kirkbymoorside to ask Bates to come back. Which would not have worked. So, this is the last chapter of this series for now. I can NOT keep them, at this point and after this long, as chaste and as calm as they are in their character curves on the show. This is where I have to part ways with it.

I have no idea what I will do from here.

The air was close and sultry when Anna stepped off the omnibus in Kirkbymoorside. The sunny, breezy morning had turned eerily still.

When she opened the door to the Red Lion he was already walking toward the door to take his break, pulling on his coat. He looked up at the sky. "Not the best day for a walk,"

"Just a short one? I was sitting forever,"

"Of course,"

"You were going to show me-"

"The gardens by Crown Square. But it's too far to go right now,"

"Perhaps just a turn round the road," She took his arm. He smiled down at her.

"Thank you for sending the letter,"

"Should I have?"

"Why shouldn't you?"

"It may not...make things any easier,"

"I will wait as long as it takes," he said. "You don't think that I'm only..."

"Frustrated?"

"Are you?"

"Yes," Anna sighed. "Sometimes I am. It was easier when I saw you every day. It sounds strange, but-"

"I know what you mean," he said. "I'm more at ease when I'm around you. So even wanting you is easier if I can just see you, talk to you. If I know I'll see you every day. When I go to bed at night and know I'll see you at breakfast, when I'm working and I know I'll see you at dinner...it keeps me calmer,"

"Yes," she said. "That's it exactly,"

"And having your letter to read...calms me even more. Most of the time," he glimmered at her, then he sobered. "But you're worried about something," he said.

"Ethyl,"

"The maid?"

"She was dismissed this morning,"

"Dismissed? Why?"

"She wouldn't tell me. And Mrs. Hughes wouldn't tell me. But I know it was something bad enough to have her sent from the house before breakfast,"

"It sounds like either a theft or an indiscretion," he said.

"And it could well have been an indiscretion. The house is full of officers. And Ethyl was not the wisest of girls her age that I've met,"

"One slip can ruin a person," he said.

"I know, but-" they rounded a corner onto a dirt path, their shoes beginning to crunch on the ground as they walked. A breeze came up, bringing the cold scent of rain and buffeting Anna's hat. "It seems so unfair that one mistake can do that to a person's life,"

He shrugged. "It's human nature,"

"I don't think so," Anna let go of his arm and huffed, walking next to him but beginning to release her feelings, which had been building that morning. "It's just rules that we come up with, and some of them for no good reason. Why do we have such harsh punishments for indiscretions?"

"When it becomes clear that a woman's virtue has been compromised-"

"No, I know what the rules are, John," Anna said. "I'm saying that the rules - at least some of them - are unnecessarily cruel and restrictive,"

"Perhaps, but they are not going to change any time soon,"

"Unless we change them!" Anna said. "What did women ever do to incur these-these...gilded cages?" Anna stopped to look up at him. "I know you believe in rights for women,"

"Of course I do, but-" He was interrupted by a crack of thunder that hurt Anna's ears, not just in the bruising volume of it, but also in the way the air around them was suddenly compressed, as if slapped together by giant hands. He looked up.

"We should head back," He turned on toe and jerked his head at her.

Anna sighed. "But, what?"

"Take my arm, Anna,"

"You do believe in them, but what, John?" she insisted.

He took her wrist and pulled her closer, wrapping her arm around his. He began to accelerate his step.

"But...we do have to live in the world as it is..." he turned back suddenly and pulled her close as a patch of rain found them, and not just any rain - fat, cold drops of driving rain. He had wrapped his coat around her but the wind was pulling at them from all directions and they were both being soaked. "I'm glad we didn't go too far. This storm is just getting started,"

Conversation became impossible. It took only a few minutes to arrived at the Red Lion, but by then they might as well have been splashed with buckets. John had wrapped his coat around her but it had been too late to prevent the drenching. He began to lead her to the front door.

"I can't go in like this," said Anna.

"Come on," he guided her around the building to a small garden in back near the loading area, ducking with her into a covered walkway. Sheets of rain blasted the white roses growing along the edge of the stone walls. Even in the downpour the suggestive scent of roses and prickly smell of ozone were overwhelming. Between the runs of silvery rain the roses seemed to glow in the strange, low light.

He led her to a corner in an area of stacked crates. Anna had begun to pull out her hat pins.

"Don't take off your hat,"

"I have to-" she began.

"Let me - there's a collection of-"

A small cascade of cold water splashed onto Anna's face and down the front of her blouse; Anna gasped in horror and realized what he had been trying to say. The rolled brim of her hat had gathered a pool of water, which she now wore.

"I'll get some towels, hold on," he said.

Anna finished taking her hair pins out; her hair fell, partly wet, down her back. She draped her coat over a clean crate. Her light blouse was plastered to the skin of her upper chest and one of her shoulders. He returned with a stack of clean towels and stopped in front of her, suddenly unsure of himself.

Anna waited.

His head was slightly lowered, his mouth half open. He was transfixed, shifting on his feet.

"May I have one?"

He shook his head, bringing himself back to the moment. "Of course,"

Anna laughed. "It's alright. I must look a fright,"

"No," he said softly and seriously, "No, you don't,"

Anna draped a towel over her shoulders and used another to gather her hair together in back, wringing it out. "I'll have to put it up, fresh,"

He had arranged her hair pins on one of the crates and still held a towel, waiting. Anna smiled at him. He shook out the towel and brought the edge of it to her cheek, tentatively. Anna laughed again.

"Did I scare you? What is it?"

"I lied to you," his eyes were gliding over her face and her throat as he gently dried her. Anna took a dry handful of towel and began reaching up to dab at his face as well, brushing his hair back. She realized she had never had a chance to care for him, not this way, not by touching him. Her insides went soft as butter. He was submitting to her touch.

"About what?" she managed.

"About how your letter makes me feel,"

"Sometimes it's almost more than I can bear, missing you," she said. She couldn't stop touching him, not right now. She dropped the towel and slid her hands up over his chest. She could hear his breathing; his eyes were as dark as she had ever seen them. He glanced around the small shadowy courtyard, then pulled her behind the stacks of crates. He swept her into a corner and crushed her to his chest, his mouth taking hers in a ravenous kiss.

The kisses he had given her before had been artful, gentle, teasing. This was different.

He drew her lips between his in a run of caresses, rolled his tongue over hers, held the back of her head with one hand and ravished her mouth. Anna was making sounds, but they were buried. This is what his kisses would be like when he made love to her. He would consume her, nearly maul her. Anna was lost in joy. Her knees buckled. She would do anything now, anything at all right now. She would give herself to him right here, right now. His hands were gripping her by the waist, sliding around her hips, under her arms. His hands were encompassing, wide and warm. "Please, please," she was gasping.

One of his hands slid low around the back of her thighs then he lifted, hoisting her against the wall in the alcove. He stepped in and pinned her on the wall with his body and now she could feel his response to her, unmistakeably. She cried out. She mashed her tongue into his mouth. He was holding her up, cradling her. His mouth moved down her throat. His name came out of her over and over again, pleading with him.

He lowered her slowly, his chest heaving. He held her face in both hands.

"Anna,"

"Don't pretend I didn't want this!" she hissed, "You know how I feel! I'd give you anything if you would just take me right now,"

"I know. I'm so sorry, Anna,"

"Stop apologizing for that!" her voice had gone ugly.

They glared at each other, sucking air. Anna's lips trembled. Her body was vibrating, resounding like a cathedral bell on Sunday morning. She wanted, just for an instant, to slap him.

"I love you," he said, "God, I love you. I need you, Anna,"

"Yes!" she nearly shouted this. "I know! That is exactly how I feel," Then she had nothing else to say.

Anna's frustration evaporated. He pulled her to him again, her cheek on his shoulder, his face in her hair.

"I love you," he said.

Anna was laughing now. His laughter made him shake against her.

"If we don't resolve this situation soon, I may beat you to a bloody pulp," she said.

"Act of mercy," he said.