Hello everybody! Here is you're next update, hope you all enjoy! Thank you again to everybody who is reading and has been reviewing this story and the one shot series, I love hearing your thoughts on my stories so please continue to do so.
T-Rex Ninja Kid: Thank you for your review, your right JJ has enough to deal with without Michael coming back into her life, you will have to wait and see for what happens there and if and how the visit to her Grandma goes, let me know what you make of this next chapter.
USCutie15: Thank you for your review, ahah I think I threw a lot of you with that one, maybe Strauss ent all bad afterall eh, hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you think.
MyCriminaIMind: Thank you for your review, haha sorry about that I will try to keep the diabolical plot twists to a minimum from now on. Hope you enjoy this chapter, let me know what you think.
Elphiemolizbethbau: thank you for your review, I really loved Kate in season ten of CM which I have just finished watching now, and I really wanted to bring her character into this story, which I why I added her in here as a therapist for JJ, I can see her suiting that role very well. As for Michael, well we will have to wait and see what the team can do and if he gets out of not, hope you enjoy this next chapter, let me know what you think.
Guest who reviewed chapter 24 on oct 18th: Thank you for reading and your review, I would love to hear more on your thoughts of the story, hope you enjoy whats to come.
MochaGirl14: Thank you for reading and for your review, ahah I know that was quite the twist there, as for what happens with that twist, you will have to keep reading to find out, hope you like what is to come. Let me know what you think of this next chapter.
Letirreis: Thank you for your review. You made my day with this review, what you said is just what I was hoping for with this chapter, I really wanted people to understand the loss the JJ feels with her Grandma not being able to always remember her even though she is still alive, it's important that people understand that as it explains why JJ had never spoken of her past until it was found out, she has been alone for a long time now and has had to rebuild herself. Erin, in this story at least isn't as bad as what she always seems, I really wanted to show that she cares for her agents even if she doesn't always show it in the best of ways, I hope the came across well. For now Emily and JJ are making their way home, as for where JJ will stay when home, well, you will have to wait and find out haha, hope you continue to enjoy. Let me know what you think of this chapter.
102000QP: Thank you for your review, I hope you like this next chapter, let me know what you think.
Thalie57: Thank you for your review and PM's, I'm glad you enjoyed the chapter, hope you continue to enjoy what comes next, let me know what you think of this next chapter.
starie78: Hi thank you for reading and for your review, I would love to know more on what you think of the story and your likes/dislikes etc, hope you continue to enjoy, let me know what you think of the next chapter.
AN: Righty on with the chapter, this one is a heavy Jemily based one with a little of the team thrown in at the end, there will be more of the team in upcoming chapters don't worry.
WARNINGS: This chapter contents mentions and talk of rape, violence, torture and child abuse.
Chapter Twenty-Five: We'll Do This Together.
"It's all over now baby, I promise. You're okay." Emily cooed gently into JJ's ear as she held her close rocking her from side to side.
This was the same thing she had been saying to her girlfriend for the last ten minutes since Dr. Marsh had left the room after preforming the final tests JJ needed to undergo before she could be discharged from hospital.
JJ had been doing well until the last test.
This test had been similar to a rape kit examination.
The examination wasn't need for evidence as enough evidence was found at the scene of the crime in the caves which was why it had yet to be carried out until today.
It was however needed to be able to check for any permanent damage that may have been caused due to the trauma JJ's body had been through.
JJ had been reluctant to have the test done at first.
It took a lot of convincing on Emily's part for her to even get on the bed and lay down for Dr. Marsh to examine her in that position.
It took even more convincing for her to allow Dr. Marsh to administer the stitches that were needed to repair the mass amount of tares and deep lacerations found during the examination.
JJ had managed to stay as calm as possible through the examination up until that point.
She had kept her eyes locked on Emily who had been leaning over her so that she was the only thing in JJ's eye sight.
They had been talking about the road trip they were going to take home with Morgan, Reid and Garcia.
The team had thought that would be the best way to travel due to both JJ's and Reid's still healing ribs and JJ's fear of being locked in on the jet.
They knew without a doubt her fear of being locked in places would be worse than what is was before the case on Tybee Island, and they didn't want to throw her in the deep end and cause an unneeded panic attack if there was another way to get around having to fly home.
JJ had held Emily's hand the entire time throughout the examination, her grip tightening with every movement she felt inside of her.
Emily's free hand had been wiping the tears away that JJ couldn't stop from falling and brushing her hair back out of her face while they spoke.
These were little gestures that JJ took comfort in, it helped her remember that Emily was here with her.
It helped her stay anchored and remember that she wasn't in the caves and that Dr. Marsh was not going to hurt her in that way.
JJ had been aware of what was going on the whole time.
She had nodded her consent when Dr. Marsh had told her that she would need stitches.
It wasn't until she felt the needle of a numbing agent injection being administered that her mind started to drift and images of what had happened in the caves had begun to fill up in her head.
She had been unable to concentrate on Emily and what she was saying after that, her mind was desperately trying to stop the images from taking over her thoughts.
Her breathing bad become rapid and her hand had tightened around Emily's so hard Emily was sure she had heard her bones crunching together.
What had worried and upset Emily the most though was the words that JJ had begun to mumble to herself.
She had been pleading for an invisible attacker to stop, she had said 'please no, anything but this' repeatedly, which had broken Emily's heart as she knew at that moment in time there was nothing she could do to help her girlfriend.
Emily had alerted Dr. Marsh to the fact that JJ was disassociating and to her credit Dr. Marsh had finished up as quickly as she could without further hurting JJ in the process.
As soon as Dr. Marsh had finished Emily had used the hand that JJ was holding tightly to pull JJ up into a sitting position and wrap her free arm around her girlfriend pulling her in close until she managed to find her way back from the horrors her mind was reliving.
JJ had been unresponsive to being in Emily's arms at first.
It was as though her body had completely shut down.
The only movements and sounds that came from JJ were the whimpered and mumbled pleadings and her bodies trembling and rapid breathing.
This had worried both Emily and Dr. Marsh at first until slowly JJ's arms wrapped around Emily as she repositioned herself so that she was hiding her face into the crook of Emily's neck the whimpering and mumbling coming to a stop shortly after.
It was only when the sobs started that they knew that JJ was back, that her mind had returned from where it had got stuck.
Even though the sobs were horrible to witness and hear, they were better than a frozen and unresponsive JJ.
It was then, after knowing her patient had now managed to bring herself back from her disassociated state, that Dr. Marsh had found a blanket to pass to Emily to wrap around JJ, before quietly excusing herself from the room to sort out the discharge papers and medication that they would need to take with them when leaving the hospital.
That had been ten minutes ago.
Emily was glad that Dr. Marsh was sensitive enough to JJ's needs to give them some space for JJ's mind to be able to fully return and for her to calm down again before returning to the room, as she very much doubted JJ was in a fit state to be signing any discharge forms at this very moment in time, she could still feel her trembling against her.
"You're okay, I've got you. It's all over now Jay. You did so good baby." Emily repeated still rocking her girlfriend in her arms as she stood next to the bed JJ had been laying on before during her examination.
She could still feel tears hitting her neck where JJ was sobbing while holding her tightly, she could feel JJ's breath hitching every now and again as she tried to breath in between her sobbing.
"You're okay, you're safe now. It's all over now, no more tests now baby we can go home now." Emily said gently, her hand rubbing little circles on JJ's back while the other stroked her hair softly still swaying them both from side to side knowing that the rocking action and stroking JJ's hair always helped to calm her girlfriend down.
She could feel JJ take a few shuddering deep breaths as her sobs slowly came to a stop and she lifted her head to look Emily in the eyes.
Time seemed to stand still for them both as they starred into each other's eyes no words being needed right now.
Emily's hand that had been stroking JJ's hair moved to cup her cheek and brush away her tears with her thumb as JJ looked down staring at her lap using her one hand to pull the blanket around herself a bit tighter.
"I'm sorry." JJ whispered out hoarsely.
"Hey." Emily said pulling JJ's face upwards with her hand so their eyes could meet again.
"You have nothing to be sorry for." She continued.
"But it upsets you when I get stuck in my head like that." JJ said quietly, almost shamefully.
"It does, but that isn't your fault. None of this is your fault beautiful." Emily said honestly.
"Do you really think I'm beautiful?" JJ asked suddenly.
"I think you are gorgeous. I thought so the first moment I locked eyes on you after you tried to drown me in your coffee." Emily said, causing them both to smile at the memory of when they first met.
"What about now?" JJ asked after a few moments of silence, her eyes not meeting Emily's.
"You're still gorgeous and beautiful baby, you always have been and always will be to me." Emily said not liking the insecurity she could feel coming off JJ in waves.
"Even with all these?" JJ asked motioning to the scars on her body underneath the blanket.
"Even more so with those. The bruising and the scars will fade in time. They don't define you, they don't take anything away from who you are. They are just there as a reminder of everything you have been through, everything you have survived through." Emily said causing JJ to look at her again unbelieving.
"I look hideous. I am hideous. Sometimes it feels like they tore me inside out." JJ said a faraway look in her eyes.
"I told you once that you are stronger than you realise. I meant it then and I still mean it now. They may have tried to, but they will never be able to do that to you, no one will. You Jennifer Jareau, are a princess, you're a warrior, you're a fighter. You are beautiful, inside and out. What they did to you is hideous. You, are not. Don't ever think that, not for a second. Okay?" Emily said with force.
Looking into Emily's eyes JJ could see that she meant every single word she had just said, she wanted so hard to believe her but she couldn't.
She still had their voices in her mind telling that she was worthless.
A devil child.
Filthy.
Disgusting.
A Liar.
A whore.
Nothing.
"You are beautiful." Emily said breaking through the voices in JJ's mind.
"Inside and out. Scars and all. Those scars tell your story baby, they don't make you hideous, nothing could, because you are not. I know you don't believe me right now and that's okay. Really, it is. I promise in time you will though, I will keep telling you and showing you for as long as it takes for you to believe me and believe in yourself again." Emily said caressing JJ's face with her hand before pulling her back in towards herself again.
They were both quiet for a while as JJ relaxed into Emily's arms and Emily held her girlfriend close to her chest, both of them taking comfort in feeling each other close.
"Em?" JJ asked into Emily's neck, after a silence.
"Yeah baby." Emily replied, running her hand down JJ's back, as she angled her head to the side to be able to hear what her girlfriend was saying easier.
"What do you think I should do?" JJ asked, laying her head down on Emily's shoulder while still in the comfort of her girlfriends arms.
"Do you mean about the parole hearing?" Emily asked inching a little bit closer to JJ after feeling her shudder.
JJ nodded in response, tightening her arms around Emily's waist.
She needed to feel her girlfriend right now.
She needed her to anchor her to the here and now so that she didn't disassociate again due to all the thoughts going through her mind.
Since she had been told of the parole hearing JJ's head had been working on overdrive with memories of her time with Michael constantly playing in her head.
Memories of the punishments and lessons he taught her with bits of unused wood in his workshop, belts, fists and in the later years of her time with him implements he brought specially to punish her with.
Memories of nights and days being locked away in his workshop, then the beatings she received afterwards due to being in the workshop again in the first place.
Memories of her Moms and Sisters deaths and funerals.
Memories of all the threats of pain made to her stopping her from speaking out.
Memories of one of the worst punishments she received from Michael and Donnie when she was twelve and tried to ask a teacher at school for help.
Memories of when and how she received the scars on her back that for years she had been too embarrassed and self-conscious about to show anybody, not that they could be seen that well anymore through all the other scars and welts that now covered her back.
Memories of the times Michael and Donnie had their friends around for poker nights that she wished she could forget.
Memories of the court case when she was fourteen and the looks she had received when testifying.
It was those looks that still terrified her to this day.
She knew if he ever got out he would kill her.
Those looks had all but promised that fact.
No words were needed, she understood what he meant just with that one look.
"What I think you should do, and what others think you should do doesn't matter Jay. You need to do what feels right for you. Whatever you decide I will be there with you through it all. You're not alone anymore." Emily answered her pulling JJ out of her thoughts before her mind could cause her to panic again.
"I don't know what to do though. The thought of him being out frightens me, but I don't think I can stand up and give evidence again, just the thought of seeing him there – it, I don't think I can, but I know that look Gideon gave me. If I don't, give evidence…the evidence I couldn't give when I was younger… he's going to get out, isn't he?" JJ said her body shuddering again involuntary at the thought, while her one hand came up from Emily's waist to hold the material of her shirt near her chest tightly in her hand.
"The team – we – will do everything we can to make sure that does not happen, but you are right. The chance is higher that he will get out without you giving any new evidence that there may be." Emily said resting her chin on top of JJ's head, as she placed her one hand on top of JJ's that was holding her shirt tightly, the other hand pulling her in closer by the small of her back.
"I'm scared Em, I'm so scared he's going to get out and he's going to come after me." JJ admitted shuddering again.
"I know you are baby, but I promise you everything will be okay. I'm not going to let him or anybody else hurt you like that again. You are safe with me. Always." Emily said as she ran her one hand up and down JJ's back before pulling away from her girlfriend taking one of her shoulders in each of her hands so she could look deep into her eyes.
"We, will get through this, together. Whatever you decide to do, I'll be there. We will do this together, you and me." Emily promised.
"But, how about for now, we concentrate on getting you out of this hospital and back home. How does that sound?" Emily asked with a smile.
"That, sounds amazing." JJ said returning Emily's smile after releasing a long breath from her lungs.
"Come on then, let's get you changed." Emily said letting go of JJ's shoulders and walking over to a small table in the room where her clothes were.
Picking up JJ's clothes Emily walked back over to her girlfriend and came to a stop in front of her placing the clothes down the bed next to where JJ was sitting.
"May I?" Emily asked looking JJ in the eyes as her hands came to rest of the sides of the blanket covering her up.
Emily waited until JJ nodded her approval before gently pulling the blanket away from her body and carefully helping the blonde get changed back into her clothes again.
The process was slow and delicate as JJ's body was still healing and in pain.
Emily purposely kept her eyes fixed on JJ's the entire time.
Partly to make sure that JJ was still with her and wasn't getting lost in her own mind again, and partly because she knew JJ was still nervous about Emily seeing her body, especially now with all her scars.
"Thank you." JJ said quietly after they were done.
In response Emily smiled before placing a gentle but firm kiss on JJ's lips.
"How about we find Dr. Marsh and get out of here." Emily suggested as she helped JJ down off the bed and begun to lead her to the door, her one hand en-twinning with JJ's on the way.
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Just under an hour later Emily and JJ were sat outside the hospital at a picnic bench waiting for Garcia, Reid and Morgan to arrive, they were currently at the hotel packing up and getting ready for the road trip the five of them were about to take to get back to Quantico.
Reid had been discharged the day before and had spent last night in the hotel with Morgan, Hotch and Gideon.
Hotch, Gideon and Strauss had already left for Quantico this morning taking the jet back with them.
Strauss had tried hard to get Hotch and Gideon the same time off as the rest of their team, but had been unable to do so due to reports needing to be handed in and other tasks needing to be completed at the office.
Hotch and Gideon had also decided it would be more beneficial for them to work back in the office on the case of Michael Collins's parole hearing.
They were going to see if more evidence against him could be found for in case JJ did not want to, or was unable to give further evidence.
They had plans to interview him as BAU research, using a profiler that was not currently a member of their team.
"Not long now Jay, Garcia just text me. They're almost here." Emily said as she turned to JJ, placing an arm around her back as she felt JJ lean in closer to her on the bench.
The amount of people coming and going from the hospital was making JJ a little bit nervous and Emily could tell, she wanted JJ to be as calm as possible during their trip home, she wanted her to be happy.
JJ smiled in response turning to reply just before beeping horn drew her attention causing her to look to the hospital car park.
"Isn't that Morgan?" JJ asked confused.
It looked like Morgan, the guy was waving and smiling at them like Morgan usually did.
She was almost certain she could see Garcia's head pop up next to his for a moment as well before it disappeared again.
"Come on." Emily said taking JJ's hand and gently tugging her up from the bench before they began to walk hand in hand over to the car park.
The closer they got to the car park the more JJ became convinced that it was Morgan she could see in the driver's seat.
What confused her though is that the vehicle he was in wasn't their usual type of vehicle.
Instead of sitting in the front of a black SUV Morgan was sat in the front of a blue and white split screen VW Campervan.
"Hey Gumdrop, welcome to our very own BAU Mystery Machine." Garcia said after the side door to the Campervan opened revealing herself and Reid sat in the back, playing cards at a small table.
Seeing the Campervan and the smiles on her team members faces brought a smile to JJ's own face, a smile that turned into a laugh, she really should have seen this one coming.
Yesterday Garcia and Emily had been quizzing her on her dream road trip and she had let slip that she had always wanted to take a road trip in a proper Scooby-doo like Campervan, of course her team would make that happen.
"You guys rock, just so you know." JJ said through her laughter before climbing into the Campervan with Emily's help, who then climbed in after her.
"Well from what I hear it was your idea." Reid replied as JJ took a seat next to him.
"Yeah, but you guys made it happen." JJ said thankfully.
"Everybody in?" Morgan asked from the front as Emily closed the side door to the Campervan.
She pulled open the window on the Campervan sliding door for JJ's benefit before taking a seat herself, knowing her girlfriend preferred some open windows in any vehicle she was in.
A chorus of 'yes' was the respond to Morgan's question causing him to restart the engine and turn around to face his team members, his arm on the back of the seat he was sat on.
"Buckle up kids, let's get this road trip started." He continued grinning.
"Sure thing, old man." Emily joked back, emphasising the 'old man' as she put her feet up on the seat opposite her next to where Garcia was sitting and leaned back getting comfortable in her seat next to JJ.
"Oi! I heard that!" Morgan said from the front of the Campervan as he put the gear-stick into drive and pulled out of the hospital parking lot.
JJ laughed again before leaning into Emily's side, her head resting against her girlfriend's shoulder.
She sighed in content as she felt Emily kiss the top of her head, her arm snaking around her back while Garcia gathered up the cards they had been playing with getting ready to deal them out again for the four of them to play while Morgan began their road trip back home.
Things were far from perfect, the future was still uncertain, but for now JJ felt relaxed.
She was looking forward to this road trip with her best friends and girlfriend.
Right now, in this moment in time, with Emily's arm holding her close, she felt safe.
AN: Don't forget to let me know what you think by hitting that little review button and telling me what you all thought.