"There's Tarrant!" said Mally as he, Absolem, and Thackery approached the exit gate of Disneyland park.
The Mad Hatter was sitting dejectedly on a bench near the floral arrangement, surrounded by a giant stack of ear hats that he was handing out to random passers-by. Every single one of them had Alice's name embroidered on the back. Tarrant was dressed in the plaid costume that the people who worked in the stores on Main Street all wore, but on his head was a stack of the hats he was giving away.
"I'm going to guess that his job in the hat shop didn't work out very well," Thackery said, shaking his head.
"Have you gotten yourself fired again?" Absolem asked the Hatter bluntly as they approached.
Tarrant's pathetic expression changed instantly as his friends approached. A manic smile replaced his quivering pout, and he leapt to his feet. Mally was amazed that the pile of hats managed to stay on his head.
"My friends!" Tarrant crowed. "Yes, it is true that I am no longer employed at The Mad Hatter, which is utter nonsense since I am, in fact, known as the Mad Hatter."
"That's true," said Mally.
"It is!" said Tarrant. "They seemed to think that I was using the embroidery machine incorrectly—" He interrupted himself to hand ear hats to a passing family. "There you go! Wear them proudly! Now, as I was saying, it is quite clear that I have spelled every single one of these hats absolutely correctly! Look at this one!" Tarrant held up an ear hat and tossed it onto the ground. "And this one! And this one! This one is particularly nice… I used the pink thread….and—"
"Okay, Tarrant, okay," said Thackery, grabbing the Hatter's hands. "You did a wonderful job. And they were obviously foolish to say otherwise."
Tarrant nodded. "Yes. Obviously foolish."
Absolem nodded as well, her eyes glinting behind her glasses. "Yes. Obviously foolish." Somehow Mally didn't think she meant it the same way as the others.
Mally's stomach growled. "Can we go get something to eat?" The three of them stared at him for a moment. "What? I'm hungry."
Thackery's lips turned upwards. "Yes, of course we can, Mally. Let's…let's all just go back to the hotel."
By the time they reached the Hearthstone Lounge, Tarrant was down to wearing just one ear hat, and they had left a long trail behind them. Absolem had pinched Mally's ass about fourteen times and Thackery had said next to nothing. Mally was having a fantasy about the lounge's cheese plate that was provolone near erotic, but it disappeared into a puff of irritation when he saw Chessur ensconced comfortably in a booth in the bar next to a very lovely woman in an orange dress.
"Delightful, you've all arrived together," Chessur said, smiling wickedly. "I was afraid I would have to make an effort in rounding you up. This is so much easier. Join me. Mallymkun, I have already ordered the cheese plate."
"I don't want it," Mally said and the cat laughed.
"Liar. I shall enjoy watching you fight yourself before you inevitably succumb to your desires," Chessur said. "Sit down."
Tarrant and Absolem took two of the seats while Mally stood there with Thackery staring at him. Clearly Thack meant to back him up in whatever he decided and that was immensely satisfying, but the cat was right. Mally wanted the feta cheese plate. He plunked himself down and nodded at Thackery, then looked at the woman.
"Who's this?"
"This is Dime," Thackery said excitedly. "She is part of the new act that Chessur and I are in – she's a wonderful singer."
"Well, thank you, Slam," said Dime, smiling modestly.
"This is my husband, Mally."
"I can see why you're so in love with him," Dime replied, and Mally enjoyed the stroke to his ego. He grinned and winked at her.
"This is Absolem, our keyboard player, and Tarrant—"
"Enchanteé, Mademoiselle," said Tarrant, taking Dime's hand and shaking it vigorously. "And now, a round of drinks!"
"No!" said Mally, Thackery, and Absolem all at once.
"I hate when the two of you actually learn something," Chessur remarked.
"Don't you mean the three of us?" Thackery looked at Absolem.
"No," said Absolem. "I already knew that drinking is a bad idea. At least the way the two of you were doing it last night."
"You didn't try to stop us," Mally pointed out.
"It's not my place to stop you from doing foolish things, Mallymkun."
"At least you sound more like your old self," said Thackery.
"Are you sure you wouldn't like a Drink Me?" Tarrant asked Mally.
"Pretty sure," said Mally. The cheese plate arrived just then and he studiously ignored Chessur's gaze as he stuffed a chunk of brie into his mouth.
"Alas," said Tarrant.
"Did you say 'alas' or 'Alice'?" Thackery asked.
"Who is Alice?" Tarrant asked, tilting his head.
"You are here for a reason," Absolem said to Dime, clearly not wanting Tarrant and Thackery to go on. "Will you share it with us?"
Dime nodded. "I think we all want the same thing," she said very softly. "To get out from under Faren's thumb. Baby and I think we know how to do it."
"Who is Baby?" ask Mally, blinking.
"Chessur," said Thackery, putting his hand on Mally's thigh under the table.
"Really?" Mally started laughing and probably wouldn't have stopped if the cat hadn't picked up a hunk of cheddar and stuffed it into the Dormouse's mouth. He chewed and tried not to choke, shaking his head.
"Just listen," said Dime. "Tomorrow there's an audition for a new band, and Celia asked me to go with her. All you lot have to do is show up there, and Tarrant, you give her True Love's Kiss, and she'll get rid of Faren."
"I see a lot of holes in this plan," said Absolem.
"I think it's perfect!" said Tarrant.
"That's one of the holes," said Absolem.
"Trust me, it will work," said Chessur.
"And there's another," said Absolem.
"We don't really have many other options," said Thackery.
"I'm in," said Mally, shrugging.
"Great," said Chessur. "Come pick up your disguises from me tomorrow morning."
"Disguises?" Mally frowned. "What sort of—"
"Disguises!" Tarrant crowed with excitement. "What great plan ever succeeded without them?"
"What makes you think this is a great plan?" Absolem asked.
"I trust Dime," said Thackery very seriously.
"Okay," said Mally, taking the March Hare's hand and squeezing it. "Then that is enough for me."