Hey guys, long time no see
I'm going to start off by saying sorry. Things have been rough, life threw many, many curve balls my way. And to sum it up, I got hit by them all. I wasn't ready for what life had to give me. And that's my bad for falling away and not getting everything together sooner. If you don't want to read my little 'I'm lost and don't know what to do' story skip over this next paragraph and continue from there

CAUTION EMOTIONAL TRAIN WRECK AHEAD PROCEED AT OWN RISK OR SKIP PARAGRAPH AND GO TO THE NEXT FOR VERY IMPORTANT INFORMATION

So, to catch you all up and give the excuses that are really just that, excuses. As you all know, a friend of mine had past away last year, and that screwed with my head and my emotions a lot. Which caused for a lack of motivation to write and, really, to do much of anything. Fast forward three months and I guess there was a reluctant, mutual agreement on calling off a relationship on both sides... fast forward two months I found out that he started dating a mutual friend literally a few days after we broke up. And then he had the nerve to tell me that it took HIM four months to get over us. Yet, here I am, confused as ever, still sure that I love the guy. Joyful me. But that screwed me over and all ready an emotional wreak over my friend, this hit me like a freight train and at this point... I shut down. I made the mistake of closing myself off from everyone and that hurt me in the long run. Some other stuff happened, like helping a friend to express their feeling to my ex even though it killed me to do so, My best friend and I can't get back to how we use to be out of lack of trust in the other now, the fact that I almost lost another friend to death, I started slipping in grades, trying everything to keep myself afloat in my classes, trying to please my family, I stopped drawing, and writing, my computer stopped working all together, I got a job so I could send it off to get it to work and pay for it. I became the antisocial, cynical (distrustful) person I use to be. And right now, I'm fighting tooth and nail to get back on track. I'm making progress, I really think I am. I had help. The man that hired me, we became friends instantly. He did all that he could to bring out my social, happy side. And he was one of those people where you couldn't help but smile around. He was chalk full of energy and life. And he made everyone smile. But he brought me out of my funk really. I came to work after school one day, I had thirty minutes before it was necessary to clock in, so I went to the back where the desk was. I took out a bunch of stuff in my bag and got ready to study for my finals and here he comes, looking over my shoulder, trying to help me out. And he saw an old drawing I had in my bag for a class and he just... he complimented it and stated that it was actually really good. And he doesn't compliment easily. I guess you could say that he sparked my inspiration again. The bittersweet thing about that all, is he had to leave the job to go to be some well known jeweler's apprentice. And as I left for the last time that I would see him, he said his famous line. I appreciate everything you do and everything you are. And I've been drawing a lot now. And I've decided to try a crack at this one more time, though everything has been hell.

IMPORTANT QUESTION TIME

So, now that I'm back, I've been thinking about going back and revising all this and (Hopefully) have a beta to help me... if it's still okay? Just to fix some things. And I've changed a lot in the past year. As I went back to read the beginning I'm honestly surprised. I'm hoping to go back and try to make it better. So my question is (Thought I'm really not holding my breath for a lot of feedback considering I've been gone a long time), would you guys be okay if I did? Go back and revise it all before I continue on to the end? Or would you guys prefer that I just go to the end and then fix it after I'm finished? If you guys chose the later I understand completely and I will do all in my power to finish it with the best that I can give. If you chose the first one then I will try and better this story instead of it being just talking and more details where it's need and less where it's too much. I'll post this and then look at it Saturday night to see what you guys want. If there's no response then I'll put it in the bio of the story to what I'm doing.

Thanks for you time guys. I'm sorry this isn't a chapter, but I wanted to explain myself and ask the question. I'll take this down as soon as Saturday. Until next time.

-Maxy