AN: Sorry about the long weight I just haven't felt like writing lately. I'm working on my proofing. I'm going to try to update sooner but can't make any promises. Thanks for reading and please please review :)

=Brittany=

"How's she feeling." Sean asked he stopped by after work. I could tell he was being torn apart with guilt.

"Not good. It's triggered some really bad memories..."

"I know something happened to her as a child but I don't know what. Can I ask what it is?" I swallow thinking about what he needed to know.

"Don't tell her I told you. Her uncle who babysitted her after school from age 5 to 10, raped her nearly daily until she had to kill him when he went after her sister. That's why she was in the mental hospital for three years. It's why she is very paranoid and protective."

"Gosh that does explain a lot. Take as long as you need to get her well again. I can hold her job for up to a year. Thanks for filling me in. Now go take care of your wife." I smile weakly and accept a hug. After he left I had to take a moment. I don't know how long can keep it together. We needed to get some help. More help than what Mandy could give.

"Lucas I want you to listen and listen close. Your Mami and I have to go back to Ohio. She's not getting any better. She's barley spoken or eaten since the other night. We have to go back and see our therapist. I don't know what to tell your sisters." I was stressed thankful I finally got her to sleep. It had been a week since the attack. She had only gotten worse. I had to spoon feed her bathe her, sing and rock her. It was like one of her nightmares was on loop with no pattern and very little recoup time.

"I don't know what to say Mom. Except I want to break that bastard's arms before he fondle anyone else."

"Hey! Watch your language." I lightly scold my son I felt terrible even asking him for help but he deserved to know. If we gave him what ever lie we gave his sisters, he'd see through it. He knew why she was in the state she was. He had seen it briefly before so he knew something was up. She didn't have some kind of virus, she was in a very bad episode. Mandy had been by and told me to take her back to Lima that this wouldn't be something I could rock her back to sleep or uping the dosage of her Xanax or Prazosin could cure. She hadn't even smoked even though I offered. When she did speak it was barely coherent or of whatever horror movie was currently playing in her head.

The only thing she said that was coherent. "Are you going to be Ok." I ask brushing her hair. It had been 24 hours since the attack.

"No. Please don't leave me." She clings to me tightly. I send Sasha a text explaining I can't come to work for a while. Within the next hour she was telling me to get out before he hurts me. I moved the girls out when she was screaming the first night. I managed to convince them that it was a stomach virus and she was dry heaving. When I asked Mandy why she was only shaken at the doctors but when I brought her home she was in the state she was, she said it was the adrenalin wearing off.

Sean felt awful. The guy lost his job but because of the agreement she signed, got away with everything else. Her job was safe for up to a year but he was bringing in a substitute for the time being. "I don't know how long it will be. It's not just for her though. I've been hearing the voices; they are not saying good things either. I'm not well either. Sasha and Pat agreed to stay here with you guys." Goat was gone, I haven't seen or heard him since that night. Tubbs has been quietly chain smoking. He and Cricket are telling me she's hopeless and I might as will put her out of her misery, that the same thing is going to happen to the girls and it is a fate worse than death. They are telling me the gruesome details of our history repeating themselves, taking Charlie's condition into consideration. The things they were telling me made me not want to let them leave my sight. Someone cutting off her birth defect, raping Sadie, beating Lucas to death when he tries to defend them. I knew they were just trying to get a rise out of me and it was working. I didn't want to hurt my children.

"I can take care of them." He says all macho. It was hard to believe that we had a young man in the house now and not a little boy he was bigger than Santana and me. As tall as me but no where near built like a dancer. The kid worked out and though he could run, it was more weights.

"I know you can baby but someone is going to have to drive you guys places. I don't know how long we will be gone. The story we are going to tell your sisters is that Mami is really sick and needs to see her old doctor in Lima and I'm driving her there to save us from the flying stress."

"What can I do to help?"

I didn't know and held back a sob. "Hold down the fort and keep an eye on your sisters." he wraps his arms around me holding me close. It was really weird having my son comfort me.

"You don't have to do this alone." He says squeezing my shoulders. I here a loud sob from the master bedroom.

"I have to go check on her." I say getting up. He just nods. I walk into the master bedroom expecting to see her curled up crying on the bed but I didn't see her. I walk closer and see her on my side. She was crying and looking at the knife she keeps in the nightstand. I walk up to her and take it away. I see blood gushing out of a cut on her side I quickly grab the towel I used to dry my hair this morning. "Baby why did you do this." I say pressing it to the deep cut.

"I wanted to feel something other then shame, worthlessness. Maybe he wouldn't hurt me if I was less pretty." I hold her not quite understanding what she meant. "You need to go. Go now he will hurt you." I continue to hold her.

" Baby, Carlos has been dead for a very long time. No one's going to hurt me. Tomorrow I'm taking you to see Lawson. Mike, Tina, Sasha and Pat are going to take turns watching the kids. We need to get you some help, and Mandy says that's our best shot. Do you understand?" I ask gentally not even sure if she heard what I said, but she gives me a slow nod. It took awhile but I finally got her back to sleep.