Jack sat in an overstuffed chair, looking desperate for something as he rubbed into his temples furiously.
"Is this what you wanted all along?"
Kate's brows met in confusion. "What are you talking about?"
Jack stood, starting towards her—eyes dark with anguish, rage.
"You never wanted this baby."
"Jack—" Kate started reproachfully, hands coming to round around her stomach. But when her hands didn't curve around the familiar bulge, she started, looking down and seeing no bump at all.
"What…" She trailed, not believing. "I just felt—"
"Don't lie to me!" Jack shouted, slamming his fist against the wall near Kate's side. She flinched, but Jack didn't stop.
Leaning in, she felt his breath rush across her face, felt the heat rising off him in waves. She sucked in a breath at the look in his eyes.
"I can't even look at you." Jack spat, voice venomous.
She reached out to him, but he shook her off, back now turned as he headed for the door.
"Wait! I don't even know what's going on. Jack, I'm sorry, I don't--"
"I'm leaving, Kate. I can't do this anymore. I never should have started this with you to begin with. This was a mistake." He looked back at her. "You ruined my life."
Kate sat up with a gasp, hand finding her belly. She felt sick, a wave of bile rushing up her throat just before she made it over to the toilet in the corner of her cell.
When she was finished she sat back, hand wiping away the sweat that had crept onto her brow. The same dream for two nights running. The second time had felt even more real than the first.
Jack would be coming tomorrow for her third exam. She wasn't sure what she was afraid of, what was making her wake up in a cold sweat for two nights a row—but maybe seeing Jack would fix it. That always fixed it.
The exam room was cold and drab looking. Kate fidgeted in the long, pea-green exam chair. The gown they had given her was papery and light and she knew what Jack would say when he saw how thin she'd become—the only sign of a weight gain showing from the soft protruding of her belly.
The guard at the door was at least fifty, and skinny, but he ignored her and kept his eyes trained ahead of him. Kate let out a long breath and saw the guard shift a fraction at the door. She rolled her eyes.
This would be the first time she'd be in the same room as Jack since her latest appeal. And even then, he had been so out of reach, so removed. And now he'd be here, holding her hand while they saw their baby for the first time together.
The door opened and Dr. Gorman walked in with Jack on her heels. She was talking about something and Jack gave her a polite nod and tight smile before he was at Kate's side, a gentle hand curving up her arm before he pulled her shoulders towards him in a hug.
"Hey." He breathed against her ear. She squeezed him a little harder. He let his hands drop away and they found her cheeks, thumbs brushing just beneath her eyes. He kissed her gently, mouth dry against hers before he pulled back, licked his lips and dove in again, and she could feel his smile pressed against her mouth.
Jack pulled away, his eyes sparkling. "I can't believe you're here." Kate whispered.
He smiled and shook his head. "Me neither." He gripped her hand in his—it was sweaty and Kate felt like giggling.
Dr. Gorman cleared her throat. "I think we're ready to get started." She said cheerily, but her smile was fake.
Jack's return smile was just as forced. He wheeled a small stool beneath him and drew close to Kate, sending her a warm smile.
"Feeling okay? Eating and sleeping well?" Jack asked worriedly.
"Now, now, you're in my exam room now, Jack." Dr. Gorman teased and Jack laughed lightly, blushing.
Kate felt like rolling her eyes. She squeezed Jack's hand "I'm okay."
While the doctor fidgeted with the numerous machines, Jack leaned close to Kate's ear, breath warm and making Kate shiver.
"I wish we were really alone."
Kate smiled, but it didn't meet her eyes.
When Dr. Gorman lifted the gown to find Kate's stomach, she felt Jack's eyes slide up her legs and settle onto her belly—stretched taut over her bump. Dr. Gorman squirted cold gel onto Kate's stomach and began rotating the wand over her flesh—looking for the telltale shape of the growing fetus.
"You're about four months along now, Kate, but you're not exactly where I want you weight-wise. I'm going to have medical services provide you with a few extra vitamins to supplement your meals."
Jack nodded dutifully along with Dr. Gorman, and the doctor sent him a sympathetic smile that made Kate uncomfortable. Why should she feel sorry?
"When is the baby due?" Jack asked.
"About October seventeenth. But, as I'm sure you know, Jack, it's not unusual for first time mothers of Kate's age and health to deliver a week or two early."
Jack nodded again, looking pensive.
"And the services she'll receive here? I mean, it's already June and this is only her third exam. I want to be sure she's receiving proper care."
Kate watched on with fascination as Dr. Gorman's back straightened an inch.
"I can assure you, Dr. Shepherd, this facility doesn't shirk its medical responsibilities just because its patient field consists of convicts."
Kate felt Jack tense, but he seemed to keep it in check, meeting Kate's eyes a moment before responding. "I understand."
Dr. Gorman nodded quickly before turning back to the sonogram machine. Jack looked at Kate and softened, pushing some hair behind her ear.
"You're not eating." He said softly.
Kate fidgeted. "I am too. Their food makes me sick."
Jack frowned. "Are you eating meat?"
Kate rolled her eyes. "Kate, you have to take all the proteins you can get." He sidled closer, voice dipping. "Do it for me, for the baby."
She looked at his him closely for a moment. He looked tired. She nodded and he seemed relieved.
"I rented a house."
Kate groaned. "You didn't."
Dr. Gorman looked over, as if she disapproved. Kate only just stopped from shooting her a glare.
"I want to be here. You'll be out in a year—the baby will only be a few months old. I want to make sure we're close by so we can see you."
Kate let out a frustrated moan.
"Kate, you said you loved Iowa." Jack implored.
She glared at him. "That was before I got imprisoned here."
Jack smirked. "We'll be fine. You'll love the place. It's got three bedrooms." He wet his lips. "Maybe we'll settle down here," he said softly, "I want our baby to be like you, not raised in a smoggy city." He smiled crookedly and Kate softened.
"Just until I'm out, okay? Then we'll look somewhere else." Kate looked around the drab exam room, the grey walls and the sticky vinyl of the exam chair. "I don't want to be near this place any longer than I have to."
Before Jack could answer, a distinct whirring drew their attention towards to the monitor where Dr. Gorman had focused in on a large white flicker on the bottom left of the screen.
"There," Dr. Gorman pointed, "that's the fetus at approximately fourth months."
Jack was quiet a moment before laughing and turning to kiss Kate, hand cradling the back of her neck as he pried her mouth open with the tip of his tongue. Kate kissed his back but knew she hadn't seen it.
When Jack pulled away he glued his eyes to the monitor again. "Can we get this printed?" He asked breathlessly.
"Jack." Kate said softly, eyes searching the monitor blankly. "I don't see it."
"What? She's right there," he assured her, pointing to the sputter on the screen's corner, shapely at this stage.
Kate squinted towards it, like it might help her see it better. Finally, she made out the shape surrounded by black. It just looked like a white blob in a mass of dark, but then—just there she could see the shape, the distinctness outlining itself to her eyes.
"Do you see it?" Jack asked. Kate nodded wordlessly.
"And that soft whirring is the sound of the heartbeat." Dr. Gorman said frankly. "Perfectly normal. Sounds very healthy."
Normal. That was new to their lives.
Kate turned back to Jack abruptly. "You think it's a girl?"
Jack blushed, ducking his head. "I don't know." He said bashfully.
"I can find out the sex of the baby if you'd like." The doctor offered.
Kate would have said yes—it might have given her something real during the whole pregnancy, a piece of it she could count on during the whole of it. But Jack had already shaken his head firmly.
"No, I want to wait." He looked at Kate. "If that's okay with you."
Kate nodded mutely, still in shock over seeing the baby. It really was inside her. Not just some passing illness, not something that would be cured. It was really there. And she really did want this.
"I'll print a few copies." Dr. Gorman said softly and froze the image on the screen.
"Do you—do you think we could have a few minutes alone?" Jack asked cautiously. Dr. Gorman seemed nervous, unsure—glancing at the guard by the door.
"I—I suppose that's alright. I'm going to grab a few pieces of paperwork for you in my office. Some insurance issues I need to go over with you." Dr. Gorman stood. "I'll be back in a minute."
Jack smiled before swiveling back to Kate. As soon as Dr. Gorman left, Jack looked back at Kate.
"How is it here? How are they treating you?"
Kate laughed. "I'm okay, Jack. It's prison, what do you expect?"
Jack's eyebrows knit and he scowled. "It's not funny. This is really serious. If they're not treating you right, I need to know. I want to keep you and the baby safe."
Kate nodded, fidgeting and picking at a tear in the arm rest's vinyl. "Pick any names?" Kate said quietly, trying to be nonchalant. Jack grinned.
"A few. Girls' names. I know it's not—nothing is for sure. I just feel like it might be a girl. I'd be okay with either one."
Kate rolled her eyes. "Yeah right. You just want a girl who you can spoil." Kate poked at his chest softly, "A girl you can boss around who might actually listen." Kate teased.
Jack laughed, and Kate realized how much she'd missed the sound.
"I miss you." Kate said seriously, holding Jack's gaze until he broke it, nervous.
"I wish we could…I miss being with you. Sleeping with you. It's lonely here." She confessed.
Jack shifted closer and smiled slightly. "I'd try for conjugal visits, but we aren't exactly married."
Kate huffed out a laugh and swallowed back the tightness in her throat. "I know."
Jack wet his lips and looked over at the guard—his eyes still trained ahead. "When you're out of here, I'm going to change that."
Kate looked up at him, but Jack kept going. "I want you for myself. Forever. I want a family with you and I don't want to waste anymore time. I want to make you my wife." His hand cupped her cheek—it was cold.
"What do you say?"
Kate laughed, and swatted at a runaway tear. "We have the most serious conversations in the strangest places." Kate tried, but Jack didn't avert his steady gaze.
Kate nodded. "Okay. I can do that."
Jack smiled. "Do you want to? You wanna marry me?"
She smiled. "Uh-huh. But don't go getting a big head. You're only marrying a convicted—"
But Jack cut her off with a kiss, deepening it into her mouth as her hands crept around under his arms, pulling him closer. Jack pushed the armrest up and out of his way and found Kate's side, pulling her into a curve into his chest—warm and solid and the best feeling he'd known in a long time.
He broke from her lips, laying a soft kiss just under jaw and then the base of her neck. He stopped there, breathing into her collarbone while her fingers kneaded his back.
"I hate that I can't have you right this second." He said softly, the words moist against her neck.
Kate rubbed his back soothingly, urging him back to her mouth. She dipped her tongue into his mouth, soothing it over his until his hands curved farther up her sides in tantalizing strokes, eliciting a small whimper up and into his mouth.
The guard coughed purposefully from his spot at the door and Jack broke off the kiss as if he'd just been caught by his parents. He closed his eyes and caught his breath before smiling impishly at Kate.
"Sorry." He mouthed, pressing two quick kisses to Kate's lips.
"Do you want me to write to you?" He asked, hands still warm at her sides.
"Are you going somewhere?"
"No—it's just…I only get to see you for a combined hour a week. I just thought you might want…you know, to talk more."
Kate shrugged. "Okay. I'm not so good at writing letters."
Jack smiled again. "It's okay. I'll send pictures of the house," he leaned closer, "and our bedroom."
Kate laughed. "It won't be as good as the real thing."
"You can just imagine you're there with me."
Kate nodded, turning sad. Jack frowned. "Just a year. Next June you'll be out. We'll do anything you want. Go anywhere." Kate didn't smile. "You can name the baby," Jack tried.
Kate looked up at him, thoughtfully and morose. "No, I want you to. I don't know—I don't know how this is going to go. I don't know if I can do this." Kate confessed, looking guilty.
Jack only shook his head. "You're going to be great. And you're brave. We'll do this together."
"You're not going to be allowed to be there when I have this baby."
"I know. But that doesn't mean I can't bring her to see you after."
Kate didn't say anything and Jack watched her die a little under the weight of everything.
"I was thinking Samantha. Since you want a girl. We could call her Sam." Kate tried.
Jack smiled. "I like it. It sounds like a name your daughter should have."
Kate grinned. "Don't forget, she's ours." Kate teased, reminding him of all the assurances he'd given her over the past few months.
"Samantha Shepherd." He tested.
"Shepherd?" Kate snorted.
"What, you wanted Austen?"
Kate laughed. "Does that mean I become a Shepherd too?" She asked, crinkling her nose.
Jack tweaked it, and she hummed with laughter.
"It means you both get to be mine. That's the way I want it. I want you both to be mine. And I'm going to be yours." He dipped his head, resting his forehead on hers, mouths just barely touching. "Be safe here. Be healthy. I can't let you get hurt in a place where I can't stop it, where I can't help you."
"I will, don't worry. I'm in a four-by-six cell for practically twenty-four hours a day." She kissed him, wet and deep so that he would forget his anxiety. Her hands gripped at the muscles of his back just above his belt. "What's the worst that could happen?"
So that's that chapter! Number 25. Sorry it's been so long. Been on a few trips round South America on surf trips but I finally got around to posting. More to come soon. Reviews are pretty low, only about 3 since last chapter. Hope you're still liking it! More to come soon, sense the foreshadowing! Review please!