*SIGHS* at 2:32 AM, and what do I want to do? FINISH THIS. FOR WHO? KITKAT. Imma do mah other requests soon, dahlies. Wait up.

Title: Angel
Summary: Brian Kendrick/Shannon Moore. I love KitKat enough to do this because in Sam's world, Shannon is an ultimate SUB. NEVER a DOM.
For: KitKat

Brian Kendrick didn't care much for cathedrals or churches or the Bible or any of that, maybe because he didn't believe in anything but himself. He was the one that controlled what he did and the world twisted into coincidences, not "fate" and the world had no "love". That was the way that Brian worked.

He was a Christian, yes, but struggling to breathe at those dead end of nights, with sweats dripping down his back, choking tears back into his eyes and the heavy pain that banged his chest over and over again, he wouldn't know how to describe it but it was almost like the pain was snapping him back into reality, that there was no way out other than being strong and he was strong and being strong helped him get what he wanted.

All he wanted was a picture.

Just one picture.

He was given that picture in his head. It sounded stupid and odd and confusing but all Brian Kendrick wanted was for someone to draw for him. That was his only wish every Christmas, on every birthday cake he blew on, the soft wax that melted in the candle also melted Brian's hope. This was all he wanted but he didn't want to ask, he just wanted someone to just automatically do it, just for him. It didn't have to be Leonardo Da Vinci's best work, he just wanted a little drawing, didn't even have to be a real pretty one - just a drawing made of scribbles or doodles.

Brian Kendrick drew a picture every night himself, and sent it to himself, along with a rose attached to it, just to make his insides quiver with some sort of joy but it didn't happen.

He wanted to believe in something.

He wanted to believe that someone could actually send him a picture just like that, with the little pretty doodles in vivid colors and the words that said 'I love you' or 'you're the best' or really just anything…it didn't even have to be of anything. He just wanted someone to love him enough to draw for him. He'd made it very clear when in dates, he'd just get out a sketchpad and scribble, talking about fake fantasies of wanting love and affection when in truth,, he didn't believe in love.

He believed in art.

He believed that what was behind wobbly lines of art hid behind some sort of faith for him. He didn't know how to say it but wrestling was some sort of art, some sort of dance for him, the violence, the acting, the fake intimacy he had and he loved every second of it. It made him have something to believe him but slowly and slowly, that art wasn't going enough for Brian, oh no.

But Shannon…

Shannon Moore was made of art. His face painted and his hair and the way his body moved, almost in the adorable sort of way, almost as if he was dancing on air other than wrestling and Brian, even though through all the storylines he did with or without Shannon, he admired Shannon's astounding body, his beautiful green eyes, blonde hair made of silk and pale flesh and maybe that was what made Brian die a little on the inside.

Shannon was art. He was some sort of prize, some sort of painting to Brian.

And it was like tainting red on a beautiful painting. Every time he kept cameras hidden when Shannon would undress, maybe it was a bit obsessive but Shannon was all of Brian's hope. He was his art…maybe he started dying when the cuts started appearing, more and more on his body, almost as if he was adorning himself in red, leaving nothing of his smooth flesh.

His hope was crushed.

How could something so beautiful be broken like that…?

Brian wanted to try it himself, to see why his little obsession would ever think of tainting that beautiful flesh of his, but he always restrained himself. He did believe in God but just not enough anymore. He lost faith in what he could do and all dependent on Shannon, on Shannon's beauty to be more precise. He was some sort of figure carved out of hope and Brian clung to that, but there was no more beauty anymore…

Nothing to cling on.

So Brian laid down, on the bed, watching tapes of Shannon undressing, and then nothing mattered anymore, as he cried himself to sleep because the prettiest thing he'd ever seen, the only thing that he'd ever thought of as beautiful, was being destroyed and the world was burning black once more, a darkness of nothing, just nothing, not even blackness anymore. He was lost in pain and the pain just burned and burned.

How could something so beautiful be so tainted…?

It was like Leonardo Da Vinci painting a moustache on the Mona Lisa, like Michelangelo painting the chapel he'd worked so hard on in black because he didn't believe that religious figures should be there, but just an abyss of black, it was like a slow, painful death for Brian. He was insane, he'd known it, but he just didn't know why he found such comfort in Shannon's image.

There were models and beautiful people all around but there was just something that was so utterly Shannon that made Brian's heart bleed so much on the inside. It was like a blind man seeing the sun for the first time, as if getting high on nature…when he was looking at Shannon, it was like he was drunk, just mindlessly in some sort of ecstasy.

Shannon was his obsession, and he long wanted to be held by those arms of beauty that he could only dream to touch - but now, his art was ruined, nothing left to turn to and nothing left for him to believe in.

Maybe that was when he started going to church again. He wanted to believe in something, anything, in love, in hope, in faith, in rejoice, but nothing happened but him sitting down in a holy environment, feeling filthy and then he'd seen his Shannon walk and sit right beside him, scrunching his nose in that adorable sort of way and Brian just stared, just struck by pain, knowing what was underneath the fabric that Shannon wore.

Brian resisted the urge to grab a gun and blow his brains out. He was sitting next to the cocaine he'd wanted so bad but wanting had left him in pain and agony, striving for nothing but another hope. Shannon just walked out, saying a simple "bye" before he left. Nothing more.

But all that time that Brian was sitting beside Shannon, Brian realized that Shannon was ruining his life and Shannon had no clue about it. It was tearing him apart, eating him on the inside and killing him so slowly…Brian was in pure pain and all because he couldn't have his Shannon, his art, his prize, the one that he'd grasped on before, a strip of rainbow in the void of nothingness he lived in.

Then at the dead end of the night, just as Brian was about to go home, he heard it all.

"I bet you can't fucking top anyone, Shanny."

Maybe it was of anger and of spite, but Shannon grabbed onto Brian's shoulders, and pushed him up the wall and their lips connected in this sort of rough way and Brian was just so shaken, trying to remember beauty and fuck the pain away but God, it was so hard. He tried to focus on the kiss but couldn't and Shannon just shrugged, in his hooker heels and his itty bitty tiny black clothing and just as Shannon was about to leave, Brian grabbed onto Shannon's hand hard.

"Why do you go to church?" that was the only question that seemed to slip out of Brian's mouth.

Shannon turned around, the white blonde hair burning with sweat of tonight's activities already.

"You're a fucking prostitute."

"I'm not." Shannon denied it at first, shaking his shoulders and rocking his hips in this sort of seductive way and licking his lips in this "oh so I'm not innocent" sort of way and Brian just stared at him and wanted to know why he'd let people see the massacre that was Shannon's body.

Brian touched at the cuts that were around Shannon's shoulders and Shannon just stared at him with a hard glare. The cuts just adorned his body, ruining every piece of smooth pale flesh.

Brian just stared.

"Done looking?" Shannon scolded coldly.

Brian nodded his head, just looking at Shannon's eyes, almost a cry for help and Brian mirrored Shannon's eyes. Shannon was about to leave when Brian grabbed Shannon's wrist and looked straight at him. "Why?" Brian said, his voice was hard and painful. "Why the cuts, Shannon?"

"They're holy." Shannon said, almost as if Brian was asking him an insane question.

"…holy?" Brian was confused.

"You don't go to church that much," Shannon said as if he was telling him a story. "My parents think I'm blessed because all the kids that were born in the ward I was born in died the same night they were born, except me. I wasn't. I wasn't massacred. I was 'sent' and the church…the church thought so but the wife of the priest wasn't actually convinced. She asked me if I believed in God and I told her I did but I didn't care for my sins.

"She told me that she'd fix me. That she'd punish the sins out of my body. She cut me. She slashed me so bad, in shapes that were too painful for my liking but every cut meant something about the church and when I woke up like that, claiming that I was being marked by an angel…then the Father organized this sort of thing for me, where people who had cancer and were in pain, just came to me and I'd bless them. Almost as if I was giving them a blessing…"

"Then what the fuck are you doing?" Brian asked, staring at Shannon, 'if you're trying to keep that image, then why are you doing this?"

Shannon looked down at the floor. "I'm fucking nothing. I'm not some sort of angel sent by God, I'm not. I'm just a normal blonde that gives blow jobs right now and that makes me happy. It makes me happy knowing that I'm playing the part that I should be, not a wrestler, not part of a church but a whore. I'm just a slut in the end and you fucking know that already."

Brian was dazed and Shannon's words snipped at his heart badly.

"I'm not an angel." Shannon repeated, lacing his lips with Brian, wrapping his arms around Brian's waist as tightly as he could. "I'm barely anything so come on, Brian. I'll go back to your place and get drunk and we can fucking do it."

"Are you…high?" Brian asked, almost tasting the bitterness of the cocaine that was in Shannon's lips.

Shannon just grinned and dragged Brian off towards his car. Brian sat there, dazed, in pain for some reason but there was still giddiness - he just didn't want to see the reality of the damage of Shannon's cuts. He couldn't dare face those. Though he still let Shannon drive him back to their hotel, gave him the passkey and Shannon purred into his ears, smirking and pushing his hand into Brian's pants in the elevator.

Brian couldn't feel anything but pain afterwards.

Not the sex.

Just the thought of Shannon's body being so broken. Maybe at midpoint Shannon stopped only to say, 'you're not enjoying this."

Brian just stared at him and nodded his head. He didn't lie.

"So I was raping you?" Shannon asked, so disgusted with the idea as Brian wrapped his arms around Shannon who was instead of on top of him, right beside him in bed. He tried to feel some sort of affection for him but the art…it just disgusted him so badly.

"How does it feel like…to be raped?" Shannon burped after the question.

"You didn't rape me, Shan. It just isn't the time for me," Brian tried to cajole him, 'and besides, you stopped. I didn't even tell you to stop even once."

"You're so nice. I didn't get to know you off set," Shannon said, turning his back on Brian, so that Brian was cuddling towards Shannon's back, feeling the warmth of the flesh and he could almost smell the hint of lotion that Shannon had used, some sort of faint strawberry and lemonade scent maybe… "and I fucking raped you."

"You did not."

"I wanna be raped."

That was what caused Brian's eyes to widen with some sort of confusion and anger and horror.

"Well, goodnight, Bry."

Brian felt Shannon's breathing turn even more relaxed, their naked bodies pressed against each other and Shannon's confusion to where he was the other morning caused Brian to just shrug and look at him. "You were high, saying something about the wife of a priest cutting you so that people would think that those were sent from God or something and then saying that you were nothing but a whore and wanted me to bed you. I just didn't seem to enjoy it so you stopped midway and we fell asleep. You thought you rape-"

"I raped you." Shannon spat out.

"No!"

"I raped you…"

That was when Brian tilted Shannon's chin so that they were both staring at each other.

"You," Brian took a deep breath, 'you told me that you wanted to get raped yesterday."

"I spilled my biggest secrets to you," Shannon shrugged. "Nobody knows that I don't believe in myself, that I think I'm a whore and I fucking raped you, Brian! Why in hell's name are you talking to me? Take me to the police or something! I don't-"

"You see what you're fucking doing to yourself?" Brian suddenly spat out, his body trembling with some sort of pain. "You're hurting me and you're hurting your fucking self. You just want to report a rape to get stuck in jail and die there and I'm betting that she believes in you and you're the one who slashes yourself…"

"I like slashing myself, okay? I don't ask you what you like to do!" Shannon screeched aloud.

"I…I…"

Brian was stammering as he walked towards the VCR, plugging in a video of Shannon showering with the cuts that adorned his body along with the tattoos but Brian admired the tattoos, they were Shannon's passion, he just hated to see the flesh be so demarked by blood…and Shannon's eyes widened, and he felt some sort of betrayal sink into his body.

"What the hell…?" Shannon asked.

"You said your secrets and I'll tell you mine." Brian said softly, moving towards him and sitting right beside him. "I'm nothing more than you think I am either, Shanny…I really do want to die looking at your body. Because it was so beautiful and you're ruining it…you're putting all this pressure on your body. You don't wanna break the faith for anyone, you want to give them hope…you give me so much hope…and then I watched it break right in front of my eyes. You ruined me. And I…"

Brian bit down his lower lip. He can't say this. "You're my angel, Shannon."

Shannon just sat upright. "I'm not holy. I'm not brought upon from the heavens or anything. I'm a ho that's drunk half the time, cuts himself and is on drugs…when will you people get it? Do you think my probable STD's are holy too?"

Brian just stared at him. "You're my angel…" he just repeated but that was it, nothing was left in him, he was in pure pain and crushed into itty bitty pieces and he just wanted to try and fix that mistake but he couldn't.

Shannon really was Brian's angel.

"I wanted you to stay beautiful," Brian whispered in some sort of softness. "I guess I sort of believed in love and faith and all that crap when I looked at you…because you were so out of this world, so…not average, just looking at you gave me something to hold onto…and that's why I needed to see you naked. Beauty is all the more beautiful in its form but then the cutting…it cut me too. It killed me on the inside…I'm fucking dead…"

Shannon shook his head. "I'm not an angel."

Brian wrapped his arms around Shannon's neck tightly. "You give me hope…please…give me hope…please…"

He didn't know why he felt so weak.

Shannon just pulled him away and left him and that broke Brian's heart into little pieces.

In the middle of church next time, Shannon just watched as Brian tried to comfort a Mother about circumcising her son and for some reason, words just slipped out of Brian's mouth in some sort of pain and fury that pooled against his chest. "He's doing this because he feels fucking sorry for you." Brian suddenly told the woman. "You're nothing to him."

He turned towards the audience, so many people in church, all looking for hope and some sort of faith. "You come to him and he touches you and tells you good stuff…he always does this! He's nothing! Really, he isn't! He even claimed himself to be nothing but a whore and he thinks he raped me…he just wants to cut himself. He just wants some sort of reason to finally pull the trigger. He just can't do it himself without some sort of reason for the sudden death he's going to give himself."

Shannon looked over at Brian's direction. Brian looked back and Shannon's eyes bubbled with fury. "You bitch!"

Brian did nothing more but stand as Shannon pounced on top of him and tore off his hair.

"Tell us all why'd you lie to everyone, Shanny!"

"Because I want to make people happy…that's all I ever wanted to fucking do!" Shannon exclaimed, punching a hit right at Brian's stomach, causing Brian to screech in pain. "I wanted my parents to love me! I wanted to give people hope and faith and love but I can't fucking do that! I'm not an angel. I've never been one…I'm not touched by angels…I just like cutting myself. I'm nothing more than one of those psychos at a mental ward."

Brian stared at him and Shannon just stared back.

The pain reflected…

"You were always my angel." Brian whispered softly.

Shannon just stood up and walked off.

"You don't have to live a lie anymore, Shannon. I know it killed you on the inside, making all these people think you're something you're not but you still just want to make them happy…but… I don't want you to. I want you to be Shannon, my art, my creation, made for only me. I'm selfish and I don't really care. I want you. I need you…"

Shannon turned around to look into Brian's eyes.

"I love you…"

"Your sad angel wings make me so happy…" Brian said, his eyes in swollen pride.

Shannon grabbed onto a razor from his pocket and took off his shirt and Brian stared in some sort of horror. Brian felt Shannon grab onto his wrists and Shannon slit them, causing Brian to wince at the pain…Shannon tore off his shirt, grabbing onto Brian's face and kissing him as roughly as he could.

Another sin, Shanny, you're not doing very good.

Shannon didn't care. He just continued to kiss him, with the blood seeping from his body, and the pain banging into his heart and then Shannon slashed again, right on his chest, writing Brian's name and then writing Shannon's name onto Brian's chest, grabbing onto Brian's body, he fell down and held him tightly.

Brian was hyperventilating on top of Shannon, who was holding him so tightly, as if he was afraid of letting go. "I'm no angel, I'm no angel…" Shannon repeated. "I'm a rapist. I'm a murder. I deserve to fucking die but I'm not leaving you…because I'm a damned psycho and I want you to die with me."

"…I love you…" Brian whispered.

Shannon just stared into Brian's eyes. "And my sad little angel wings will take you away…" another one last kiss, and their lips parted and they were dead, but Shannon still had a grin of satisfaction playing across those lips. Because in Brian's heart, Shannon had and always would be Brian's insane beautiful angel…

I don't care about sinning. My sins are all beautiful.

X Sam.