Chapter twenty five.
"Here it is." he smiled and stopped us in front of an empty wall. No portraits or pillars, just a simple stone brick wall.
"Sirius, I don't want to disappoint you, but this is just a wall." I glared at him, and he rolled his eyes.
"Don't be so cocky, Ms. Fione." he answered, confidence filling his husky voice.
And within a second the wall started to transform, right in front of our eyes. I took a step back in astonishment and Sirius studied me with an amused look.
Where the stone bricks had been was now a big black door with a beautiful looking pattern covering it.
"What is this?" I whispered, still taken aback in surprise.
"Welcome to the Room Of Requirement, love." He whispered back to me, grabbed a hold on the door handles and the doors opened.
I took a few slow steps before I decided to enter the mysterious room before me. How come I didn't know about this? A secret room, in the middle of the castle?
I turned to Sirius, who shut the doors behind us, leaving all of the coldness from the castle outside.
In here it was warm. A fire was sparkling in the corner of the room, and the floor was covered in dark red carpets, patterned with golden flowers. In front of the fireplace stood a group of soft looking couches, and in the middle of them a hackneyed wooden table. Upon the table there was a smoking teapot, and next to the teapot there stood two cups, ready to be filled.
How was it possible? It was almost as the room knew what we came here to do.
Room of Requirement he had said. Was it so, that the room actually fulfilled the needs you may have in the moment you passed by?
"How-?" I spoke, still puzzled by the cosy room we were standing in.
"Amazing, huh?" Sirius smiled and walked up beside me. I could sense his eyes upon me when I made my way to the couches.
"When did you find out about this?" I asked and sat down on the end of the sofa that was closest to the sparkling fire. I reached my hands closer to the flames and a shiver made it's way down my body. A leather jacket may not have been the best idea in the middle of November.
"I would rather not talk about it,..." he grinned, and sat down on the opposite sofa.
"Now I'm intrigued. Tell me!"
He studied me with a piercing gaze before he leaned down on the fluffy backrest, and kicked his feet up on the table.
"Let's just leave it at this; it involved snogging and searching for a private place to, seal the deal."
"Oh." I let out, trying my best to hide the redness that spread across my face. Oh come on, don't be that jealous girl Alissa.
But Sirius just smiled, caressing his lower lip with his thumb.
"Can I offer the lady a cup of tea?" he then continued, changing the subject completely.
"Yes, please," I nodded, watching him as he grabbed the teapot and filled two cups of the warm brew. "Thank you." I added when he handed me one of the cups.
"Now, tell me all that's on your mind regarding your friends." he leaned towards the back of the sofa once more. A relaxed aura surrounded him when he took a careful sip of the hot tea in his cup and I tried my best not to stare, but it was a struggle. His soft smile and his slim legs that laid leisurely on the table gave me an inviting impression.
"Where do I start?" I asked, still taken aback by the change of events this day had taken.
"With Beth, I guess," he took another sip before continuing. "How are you two so different?"
It took a while for me to gather my thoughts. I had never spoken about it before, maybe because no one had never asked about it. But the look in Sirius eyes insured me that he actually was interested in what I had to say.
"Well, Beth is the kind of person who keeps all of her feelings on the outside. It's almost as if they're imprinted on her skin, and I'm,..." unable to finish the sentence I looked down into my tea cup, and then up at the man in front of me. His eyes were fixed on me, and a warm trail of blood rushed to my cheeks. Why was he looking at me as if I was the most interesting thing he had ever laid his eyes on?
"What about you, Alissa?" he asked tenderly, and it felt as if his eyes watching my every breath were the only thing in the room with me, "What type of person are you?"
"Unlike Beth, I don't wear my feelings like I wear my clothes,...but sometimes I feel kind of jealous of her." I let out after a long while of hesitation. I had never before admitted those thoughts, not even to myself, but that didn't make it less true.
"How come? Isn't it dangerous to feel so easily as Beth does? I mean, you tend to get hurt repeatedly when you give your heart away too quickly."
"That may be true, but if you get hurt, at least you know that you've felt something real." I answered, my voice almost too vague for my own ears to hear.
A tense silence fell upon the room, and my pulse reacted by increasing significantly. It didn't help that Sirius was still staring at me with fiery eyes, that matched the warmth from the sparking fire next to me. His lips were shut and instead of his usual smirk it was now replaced by a grave expression. His knuckles turned white when he hugged the cup in his hand harshly.
"And you're jealous of her because you haven't felt something real in a long time?" Sirius finally broke the silence, his voice filled with aching curiosity. I sensed where he was going with this, but I didn't mind. All I cared about in that moment was the fire that was lightened in his dark eyes.
"I don't think I have." was all I said, and before I knew it Sirius got up from his seat and walked with determination around the table. Then he stopped in front of me, staring into my eyes with a wild guise in his.
"Mind if I sit down?" he spoke and pointed at the empty spot next to me. He didn't wait for me to answer, instead he sat down, and while doing so he dragged his jacket of. He threw it down onto the floor and without further notice he placed his right hand on my burning cheek.
If my pulse quickened before, it was nothing compared to what happened inside of me now, with his face and body just inches apart from mine. So many hours I had spent fantasising about this over and over again since the last time he was close to me, it was ridiculous. But no fantasy in the world could compete with actually being this close to him; his ivory skin touching mine, and the scent of tobacco stuck in his hair. If I wasn't already sitting down, my knees would have been down on the floor by now.
"Alissa," his voice twitched when he pronounced my name.
"Y-yes." I stuttered, completely distracted by his breath that slowly caressed my lips. Don't you dare kiss him, Alissa.
"I need you to be honest with me, okay?"
I nodded and he blinked before talking again.
"Are you happy?" he then said, loud and clear, and once again he surprised me completely.
"I- what?" I shook my head. I wasn't at all ready for a question like that.
"It's not a difficult question, Alissa." he continued, his eyes piercing mine. "Do you want me to reform the question?"
Maybe he was right, maybe it wasn't a difficult question, but it was surely difficult to think of a good answer.
"Fine, reform it."
He gave me a quick grin before asking me again.
"Are you happy with Casper?" he asked, with no sign of jocularity in his stunning face.
His questions made me want to run to the door and leave him and his persuasive eyes behind and not look back, but his hand on my cheek that slowly started to move back to my neck stopped me from moving even an inch.
"Why are you asking me that?" I whispered and he finally broke his severe face.
"Because I doubt that you are," he paused for a second, and let his hand travel up my neck when he gently leaned in closer towards me. "Happy, I mean."
This was in no way a normal friendly conversation anymore, that had ended the minute we started talking about my feelings.
"Does it eat you up? That you're not happy with him?" he extended, still with his hand on my neck and still with his freaking lips dangerously close to mine.
I felt the urge to push him away, but I knew that only had to do with the fact that his words were true and perhaps the fact that I soon couldn't contain myself any longer. I needed him to be so much closer.
"Yes...or, I don't know." I breathed, totally besotted by his face. That stupid handsome face.
"You don't know?" he raised his brow, and moved himself yet a little bit closer. His thigh was now side by side with mine, and his left arm rested on the backrest behind me.
Why was he pushing me? What good would come out of if?
"No, I don't know." I answered, and he smiled at the irritation in my voice, as if that was the reaction he wanted to evoke.
"Isn't that an alarming sign, Alissa?" he continued to provoke me, pushing those precious buttons.
"You tell me, is it?" I spat, baffled over how quickly we had gone from normal conversation to this power struggle of word exchange.
"It is, and my analysis is that you shouldn't be with someone that doesn't make you happy." his eyes gleamed, but I couldn't decipher if it was in anger or something else.
"Oh, is that so? Lucky me that someone finally told me those wise words of relationship advice."
A annoyed grin spread across his lips.
"No one else seems to do it."
During our rapid exchange of words, his grip around my neck tightened and I could see his chest rising hastily. There was no doubt that we would've been halfway to naked by now if the subject of the conversation wasn't still in the picture.
"I'm sorry," he spoke again, loosening his hand from my neck and laid it back on my cheek. His eyes still glowing, but there was something soft glimpsing inside of them. "I simply believe there's more to life than just accepting what is. You need to enjoy it too." then he lowered his lips to mine, but he didn't let them touch before he had gotten my approval, and Merlin, how I wanted to give it to him. But I couldn't, it wasn't right.
"Sirius,..." I said, laying my hand on his chest.
"Please, don't say it." he sighed, still only millimeters from touching my lips with his.
"I can't." was all I said and he let out a frustrated groan before sitting straight up again.
"Bloody hell, Alissa. You'll either have to break up with him or I'll do it for you." he let out, dragging his fingers through the dark tangled mess around his face.
Alright, there's now not only me that's convinced, I'll have to break up with Casper.