Waking up was the awkwardest thing ever. I had forgotten the events of the night before, so when I woke up- still in Castiel's arms- it took me approximately five seconds to give a yelp and jump as far away from him as possible on the bed.
I heard laughter, which I traced back to Sam and Dean from the other room. I looked back at Castiel and he looked hurt.
"Oh my gosh, I'm so sorry," I blurted out. I was still a bit out of it, as I literally just woke up, and was still trying to piece the events of last night together. I jumped off the bed and headed straight for the washroom so that I could do some thinking alone.
Okay, so I remember going to the bar, after I did that weird thing with the demon. Right, I still need an explanation of what happened there. And then we all drank, which was fun. I forgot about my imminent doom for a while. Then I danced with...Castiel? Wait, Castiel danced? Okay, sure whatever. And then... That was when my recollections really started to not make sense. But it was also when I realized that they had happened. I remembered the way it felt in Castiel's arms, our kiss, and then how I asked if he could slip under the covers with me. Thankfully, my brain was able to assure me it did not go further than that. And I guess that is how I ended up with him in bed with me just now. I was pretty impressed with how I managed to piece that all together in the short span of my shower.
I walked out of the bathroom, towel still in hand as I rubbed it against my hair hoping it would pick up more moisture.
"Had fun last night?" Dean teased from the doorway of their room that peeked into mine.
"Shut up." I said. Castiel now looked like regular Cas again, back in his trench coat. I went over to the door and shut the door in Dean's face. I had to talk with Castiel alone.
He looked at me expectantly, but it was obvious neither of us knew what to do.
"So, last night..." I started, "To clarify, you did say you 'like' me right?" I emphasized the word like with semi colons in the air.
"Yes, that is correct," he said, deadpan.
I sighed. Not because I was disappointed with his confession, but because I did not want this to ruin our relationship. This was definitely not going anywhere- I will probably die soon. And even if I manage to live through this, my life will still end sooner or later. I did not know if it was worth the heartbreak- for both of us.
Castiel took my sigh the wrong way, and he sat down next to me on the bed, telling me I could forget he said that, and that things can go back to normal. He said that if I did not return his sentiment, he did not wish to force it upon me.
"No, it's not that," I said, and begun to voice what I was thinking about earlier: my mortality. The relief that spread through his face was unmistakable, which made my heart do this weird, irregular beating thing.
"I do not see why we have to see it like that," he said finally. "If there is anything I have learned about mankind and their comparatively short lifespans, it is that they make the most out of it. They take a few decades, and turn it into centuries of memories. They turn everyday life into something rich and unforgettable."
He was looking directly at me again, and I just sat there looking back at him. What he said was so beautiful, but also made me really think about how short life was. I swear, I almost wanted to cry. I think I teared up, because Castiel's expression changed to one of concern, and he brushed my wet hair out of my eyes.
"You're sad," he stated simply.
"No, really?" I asked sarcastically. "You're making me fall in love with you, and then all I can think about is how I'm going to die. I liked it better when my death did not seem so tragic."
He seemed to be at a loss of words, but then he seemed to have processed what counted as my confession. "Wait, so are you saying you 'like' me back?" He copied the air quotes I had done earlier.
"I guess," I said. "I don't see this ending well. You do know you're better off-"
I was cut off when he suddenly leaned over and closed his lips over mine. I felt the world blacking out again, and I was only able to concentrate on how his lips felt, feathery soft against mine. And then there he went again with his tongue- I had no idea where he learned this. I have heard Dean joke about how pure and innocent he was, but judging from the way Castiel made me melt with his kisses, it really made me question Dean's judgement. And then we heard the knock.
"I don't hear talking anymore," I heard Dean shouting. "Can you open the freaking door already? We still need to talk about Dori, and I want to go eat."