Sorry I'm so late! I had I to go do some more relief work, so I was away for a few days. My internet wasn't stable. Anyways, I hope you enjoy this chapter, and forgive me if I didn't reply to any reviews! I was really tired. Have a great day, y'all!

Read!

Enjoy!

Review!

Chapter 24

Eruanna woke up to see a familiarly unfamiliar face in front of her. She blinked, shocked, and then registered the face. Ciaran!? Where was she? Why was she sleeping here and not next to Glorfindel!?

She blinked, and then suddenly realized where she was. They were all sitting in Glorfindel's suite, glasses and bottles strewn about the table. Glorfindel and Ciaran were knocked out snoring in their chairs. She vaguely remembered falling asleep in Ciaran's lap, the man clutching her to himself like a lifeline, barely registering what he was doing.

She sighed, shaking her head at the two. Nerí, she thought to herself, disgusted.

*What would you do without them?* Came the retort from inside her.

*Why in the name of lord Manwë are you even defending their stupidity!?*

Sniff. *Am not. Just making a point.* Was the retort.

*Oh whatever, just forget it.* She sighed, gingerly climbing out of Ciaran's tangle of arms and limbs and creeping silently through the hallways to the kitchen.

*What are you doing?*

*Going to make them a hangover remedy that they'll owe me for.* Was her disgruntled reply. Strangely, there was no retort. She stumbled into the kitchen, meeting a few men who had helped themselves to a breakfast. She sent them a weary smile, tottering towards the counter and staring up at it rather stupidly.

"Do you need a hand, my lady?" A voice asked her. Eruanna turned around, tracing a figure from his knees up to his face. It was Halladan, a small smile on his face. She smiled back, reaching her arms up in reply. He bent and picked her up carefully, setting her on the counter. She patted his cheek with a smile of thanks, and then rummaged in the counters for the things she needed.

"Is Ciaran well, miss Eruanna?" Halbarad asked questioningly from the other counter. Eruanna jumped, nearly spilling the contents of the jar she was holding. She blushed and then turned to the man, who gave her an apologetic smile.

She blinked, and then registered his question. Her lips twisted, giving him a sardonic smile as she held up the jar. He looked at the label and raised his eyebrows.

"Let me guess. Lord Glorfindel and Dorwinian?" He asked with a smile, and in reply she turned back to the shelving unit, smacking her head on it, mouth open in a clear groan. Halbarad began to laugh riotously, the sound buzzing around in her ears like a bee.

"Lord Ciaran? Dorwinian? That's a side I didn't know existed." Halladan noted with a slight frown. Eruanna turned to him, a clearly sarcastic smile on her face. He chuckled. "I see." Was his reply.

She finished her recipe and Halbarad poured the boiling water from the fireplace into the cups. She gave him a thankful smile and then looked to Halladan pleadingly. He laughed.

"And if I prefer not to, but rather keep a pretty picture where it is?" He teased with a wink, and she rolled her eyes at him good-naturedly in reply. He chuckled and lifted her down, handing her the cups as well. She gave his hand a quick pat before moving out the door, disappearing without a sound.

She heard voices waft to her from the kitchen. "I have never seen an elfling here before, father. And you seem to know her?" There was a slightly accusing tone in his voice.

There was a pause, and then a sigh accompanied by a chuckle. "I suppose it's high time you hear her story, my son. She is the first and only elfling I have ever seen. I thought- I thought she was a child of the forest." He said with a self-deprecating chuckle, and there was another pause. Eruanna paused in her walking for just a moment, wondering what Halladan's reply would be.

"A child of the forest? She is a- beautiful child, I will admit, though that description seems to be too pale, somehow." Halladan answered thoughtfully. Eruanna blushed hotly, resuming her quick walk down the hall, suddenly feeling as though she had been eavesdropping on a private conversation.

When she arrived back at the suite, it was to see Glorfindel sitting in his chair and groaning, and Ciaran retching miserably into a cup. She grimaced, hurrying over and shoving one cup into her brother's hand and the other into her master's. Both accepted and quaffed the cups.

"Thank you seler." Glorfindel said, looking much better. Ciaran looked less green, though he was pale and still looked disoriented. He smiled at Eruanna, though it was a rather sickly smile. She stifled a laugh and merely rolled her eyes, shaking a finger at them.

"Don't scold, seler. I've learned my lesson- for a while." Glorfindel muttered darkly as she climbed into his lap. He gave her a lop-sided smile, bending down to let his lips crash somewhat clumsily against her cheek. Eruanna caught his head in her hands, leaning up to kiss his cheek softly.

"Shweet picture. Any more like it?" Ciaran slurred, grinning at them. Eruanna rolled her eyes and gave up. Nerí. All the same. They never learned, did they?

LOTRLOTRLOTR

Eruanna was sitting in Arwen's room with Bilbo, reading a book with Arwen while Bilbo had his afternoon tea. She munched on a cookie, the only sounds being the rustle of leaves, the clatter of utensils and the sound of crinkling paper as the pages were turned by the Evenstar's delicate fingers.

"Arwen? Eruanna? Ah, there you are." Elladan strode through the doorway, receiving a smile of welcome from both ellith and a nod from Bilbo. Elladan nodded back just as Elrohir squeezed through the doorway behind his twin.

"Ai Elladan, let me in too!" He protested, and in another moment had an armful of elfling. Elrohir smiled down at her and kissed the bright head, receiving a sunny smile in reply.

"Well, the Dunedaìn leave tomorrow." Elladan declared, sitting down on a chair. Eruanna sighed, having anticipated the news. She would miss Ciaran, but in no way would she ever attempt to dissuade him from his duties.

"We gave Halbarad the standard, sister." Elrohir added, sitting down and lazily stroking Eruanna's hair as she purred silently in his lap. Arwen gave him a grateful smile.

"We leave with them as well." Elladan said.

The smile faltered. Eruanna sat up, face stricken as her eyes filled with hot, burning tears. Elrohir looked down at her and sighed.

"We will not be gone for too long, seler, only four weeks at the most." He attempted to comfort her. She stared at him, an incredulous look on her face.

*Four weeks? You say that's not long!?* She cried, and then burst into wracking sobs. Elrohir looked stricken.

"Oh, no, penneth, please, don't cry-" He groaned and then slumped, pulling the weeping elfling into his arms and giving Elladan a helpless look. Arwen's face was pasty and she lay back, eyes closing in exhaustion, tears beading at the corners.

Elladan sighed. "We must go." He begged them to understand. "It is for Estel. We cannot, in good conscience, deny our brother help when he needs it." He said, but Eruanna merely struggled with her tears, clutching Elrohir, who attempted to kiss them all away.

"Then go. But do not expect us to be happy." Arwen said weakly, and took Eruanna from Elrohir, their tears mingling with each other's. The twins looked down, and Bilbo spoke up from the corner.

"I cannot but sympathize with the ladies, my lords, but may I give a suggestion?" He asked suddenly. Elladan turned to the halfling with a half-smile.

"Take a messenger bird with you, and send messages back and forth." Bilbo suggested.

"Thank you, Bilbo. We will do that. It is an idea I had not thought of." Elrohir nodded gratefully, and Bilbo retired, pleased.

Eruanna and Arwen could not be consoled to any degree, and the twins were forced to leave with a genuine blessing from both but also the niggling feeling of guilt at being the cause for their distress. So the two ellith were left to attempt to comfort each other along with Bilbo until Glorfindel came and stayed with the two for the rest of the day, doling out comfort along with sweets and tea.

LOTRLOTRLOTR

It was time to say farewell to both the Dunedaìn and the twins. Eruanna was being held in Glorfindel's arms where they stood by the gate. Eruanna tugged on Glorfindel's tunic, and with a sympathetic smile he set her down, watching his little sister with sharp eyes as she made her way through the group of men and horses.

She went over to Ciaran, who knelt down and reached out, placing a hand on hers. Her eyes pleaded for a better farewell, and he reached out to hug her firmly but gently. She sniffled, clutching a piece of his honey blonde hair in her fingers.

She pulled back and looked at him with tears in her blue-green eyes. *Please be as safe as you can without neglecting your duties, master.* She whispered, and he gave her a gentle smile.

"I will try my best to come back to you, dear heart, that much I can promise." He replied softly, and wiped a tear from her cheek with the pad of his thumb. She could feel the warmth of his finger on her cheek, the calloused texture of it scraping her skin with a pleasurable sort of sting.

*Please, please tell him hello for me, and that I miss them all.* She pleaded, and he nodded. * And- and please- look after Halbarad and his sons too.* She blushed hesitantly, and he smiled crookedly.

"I can try, dearest." He leaned forwards and brushed his lips over her brow lightly. "You should stop spending so much time with this old mortal and go say farewell to your- cousins." He smiled teasingly, but it fell short of his eyes. She clutched his hand tightly in hers.

*Never, master. Please stay alive. I need you to be with me when I find the chest.* She said, and then pressed a dejected kiss to his cheek before walking away despondently to Elladan and Elrohir. She didn't look back, but it she had, she would have noticed the strange look that passed over Ciaran's face as he turned to his saddle, and her heart would have been touched to see his hand ghost over the pocket in his tunic that rested over his heart.

Eruanna hugged both twins. *Come back safe, 'Dan, 'Ro.* She said, and then pulled away. They nodded gravely and gave her smiles, which she returned weakly and then disappeared into the palace, not being able to stand remaining there to actually see them leave. She sat in Arwen's room, journal in hand and thoughts running through her mind in a swift, troublesome river.

Glorfindel joined them a few minutes later, and sat quietly, working on papers and giving them comfort with his sure presence. Erestor joined them a few moments later and also sat at a desk, working on more papers and providing a small sense of normality with his no-nonsense air.

He turned in his chair and looked at Eruanna, who immediately gathered up her journal and scrambled into his lap, placing the large tome down and throwing her arms around his neck, nuzzling him. Glorfindel stifled a smile as he discreetly watched the councillor turn his face into the tousled, bright hair, eyes closing in comfort and face smoothing out.

Eruanna pressed her nose against his neck, breathing in the smell of leather, parchment, and ink, reveling in the feeling of his arms gently circling her small frame. Erestor always made her think of one word. Or two. Delicate, and violets. He always made her feel as though she was looking at a piece of glass. Because she saw Erestor for what he truly was, not the stern exterior that he carried in public. She saw the elf underneath. And violets. Deep, mysterious, warm purple, like a sticky twilight stained with splashes of wine.

To her, that was Erestor. And that's why she loved him. That's who he was.

*'Restor* She said simply, voice laced thickly with contentment. He smiled, and she could feel the smile. She pulled back and looked at it, drinking in the sight greedily. He leaned forwards, breathing into her hair, and she leaned up to give him an uncommon kiss. His fingers touched her face softly, unlike Ciaran's sure, firm digits, the smile on his face now faint, and his face soft.

She leaned into him again, squirming around to write in her journal. Erestor was the only one allowed to be near her while she was writing in it, besides Glorfindel. And only Erestor was allowed to read parts of her journal. Fingers combed through her hair gently, and she wrote.

I cannot understand it. A shadow grows on my mind, but why- or for who- I know not. I wish this war would end! I want to go to Aman. I want to go HOME. I don't know what to do. I want to go back to family.

Glorfindel once told me that Gondolin was always home. I feel that way, too. I was born there, raised there, kept there as secret as the city itself, and in a way, I died there. And that part of me- some of it is still dead. It cannot be revived until I go to Aman, the blessed land.

Oh Valar, please, keep Elladan and Elrohir safe, and Ciaran too... And Estel and Legolas and the rest of the fellowship...

My heart weeps, and I can hardly tell why. The very earth seems to wail in horror, and I feel its sorrow and burden.

Please, please, I just want to go HOME, though where exactly that is I cannot even tell anymore. Just somewhere to call home. Someone to love- a father to love. I want a father. I want an Atto, someone to replace the one that I have lost- for I have none now.

I want a family.

My heart hurts, and my stomach aches, though I do not know why.

I want a family.

Eruanna read over her entry and frowned, leaning down to rub at her stomach. It ached slightly, not soothed by the pressure of her fingers. She pressed harder. It still ached.

She sighed and shook her head, feeling disoriented and considering tearing out the piece of paper and throwing it away. Then she closed the journal, still cradling her stomach under the folds of her clothes. Erestor hummed slightly as he continued his work, and Eruanna looked out the window.

The sky was stained red, like blood had rushed to its white cheeks, and the white splotches of clouds amidst the crimson made her think of a blotchy, awkwardly blushing face. She wondered what Arien had had seen, to make the sky redden so. But she could not tell, and there was no one else she could ask that knew.

Glorfindel looked up to see Eruanna cradled in Arwen's arms, one hand on her stomach while the other was up to her mouth as she stuck her thumb in it. Arwen hummed softly. Eruanna's cheeks were bloodless. The ache in her heart and stomach went on.

LOTRLOTRLOTR

"Oh dear Atar, this is not good." Estë wrung her hands in concern, and Manwë frowned.

"What is it?" He asked gravely, and the other Valar slowly appeared and began to listen.

"She is beginning to feel repercussions, now that more of HIS memories have been retrieved. She has a slight ache in her stomach, for one thing." She said, and the rest of the Valar immediately took concern.

"She must come, and soon. This war will not last much longer, I deem, and she must come to us soon afterwards. This is not good at all." Manwë murmured thoughtfully, eyes turned to the east where Arda lay, somewhere beyond the vast seas.

"She will." Nàmo said, following Manwë's gaze. "No need to worry, she will." He smiled thinly, and there was a glitter in his eye that usually meant either trouble or a secret.

"You saw something?" Tulkas asked, intrigued. Almost every Valar leaned forward. Almost.

Nàmo gave them all the 'that's for me to know and you to find out' look and a sympathetically smug smile, and Tulkas grumbled.

"Oh fine, keep your secrets, we have plenty of our own." He muttered, and looked to Nessa. Nessa raised an eyebrow.

"We do?" She queried. Tulkas gave her a look.

Nessa feigned remembrance. "Oh, yes, we do, and they're so secret that even I don't know what they are!" She said, giving him a scathing glare. The comment was met with riotous laughter by the rest of the Valar as Tulkas sighed.

"Very well, then, keep your... Secrets, Nàmo." Manwë smiled at the judge of the dead, who gave him a small smile. But Manwë was concerned by that smile. The other Valar, sensing that all was well once more, faded away back to their realms, but Nàmo stayed on request of Manwë.

"Yes, my lord?" Nàmo asked, recognizing the command to be one of Eru's vice regent, not just as a brother. Manwë placed his arm around the younger Vala's shoulder, leading him to the balcony off of the room in Manwë's mansion where they would meet informally.

"I am worried for you, Nàmo." Manwë said, and there was an echo of Someone else's voice in his that made Nàmo shiver slightly. "You seem morose. Is something wrong?" Manwë asked softly, and Nàmo sighed.

"I am happy with doing Atar's will, you know that, my lord." He started slowly, and Manwë nodded.

"Yes. You have said so before, as do we all." Manwë urged him on.

"It's just that..." Nàmo looked down at his hands that were clasped in front of him. "Well, sometimes I almost envy you, Manwë. I don't hate you, you are my brother, but I just... Envy you." Nàmo admitted, sounding much like he was young again, not the wise, scary Vala he usually was.

Manwë looked both baffled and concerned. "Why, Nàmo?" He asked, concerned, wrapping an arm around him and kissing his brow so that Nàmo's face was buried in his sleeve.

When he spoke, it was in a muffled tone of voice that sounded suspiciously shaky. "Because the children love you so much. They respect you, but they also love you. I just wish- I wish one, just one, would love me, for me. Accept all of me. Even Glorfindel doesn't love me the way he loves you." Nàmo replied. Manwë pulled away, grief on his face as he cried out in his heart to Atar for guidance.

"Oh Nàmo. I'm sorry, little brother. I know they fear you for what you do and who you are, but I didn't know that this is how you felt. You love the children so much, and comfort their feär in your halls, but they still fear you." Manwë understood, and Nàmo gave him a sad smile.

"I accept that things are that way, Manwë. It is merely a wish. I am happy enough." Nàmo said with a smile that Manwë knew wasn't truly genuine. There was a nudge in his heart, and when he spoke, it was not with his own words.

"That may be true, but I wish for the happiness of all of Mine children, Nàmo. Therefore, rest assured that I am pleased with thee, and look for a gift from Me in the days to come." Manwë's eyes cleared as he stirred and then smiled at Nàmo, who looked awed.

"Thank you, Atar." The judge of the dead inclined his head, and Manwë laughed.

"See, Nàmo? Maybe things won't be too lonely, now." He said, and Nàmo smiled, looking comforted.

"Thank you, Manwë." He bowed, and Manwë smiled. His cheerful laugh lifted the hearts of the Maiar nearby, though they did not know the reason behind the laugh.

When Nàmo arrived home, he was met by his wife with a loving kiss, which he returned gratefully.