Author's note: Credit for this chapter continues to go to Namayani, who's saintlike patience has been a gift to this fic.
We are almost at the part where we can start having some actual plot again.
"Don't sulk. You're a grown man." Renji says, barely able to hide the teasing tone in his voice.
Shuuhei crosses and uncrosses his legs on the couch, looking very resolutely at the wall. Were it possible, he would whip out a book or a magazine or something to distract himself but Renji is an uncultured heathen who doesn't own books. Even his old textbooks from the academy are gone, donated to future students out of the stupid goodness of his heart or something."I'm not sulking, this is just what my face looks like," Shuuhei responds. He swears to the gods he's not sulking.
Renji snorts and leans over to rest both his elbow on Shuuhei's shoulder. "It's what your face looks like when you're sulking. Your eyebrows go all crinkly and your mouth twists up."
He says it in an endearing way that makes it sound abominably cute, and Shuuhei hates him just a little bit more for that. All he wants is a sweet lie or at least for Renji to be just a little disappointed in him. Is so that so much to ask?
"Fine, I'm sorry I wounded your pride or whatever. You can stop glaring at the wall, because I'm pretty sure it's has been well-intimidated into submission by now," Renji chuckles, raising one hand under Shuuhei's chin to tilt his head so they're face to face.
"It's not about my pride!" Shuuhei argues, but really its maybe a little about his pride. "It's just- I mean, you couldn't have lied just a tiny bit? Just on my maiden voyage? Instead of being an ass and telling the truth?"
"Well I didn't think you'd need special treatment to protect your delicate self-esteem, princess," Renji replies sardonically, a wide grin still threatening to split his face. "And it's not like I said you were terrible or anything! All I was saying is that as far as blowjobs go you did fine, which is pretty good for a first-timer I would think."
"You said I was sloppy," Shuuhei argues, folding his arms over his chest.
Renji shrugs, seemingly delighted at how personally Shuuhei is taking this affront to his skills. "You fumbled. It happens, man."
"But I'm usually so good at things! I can't just be less than adequate at something, Renji. I can't allow it," Shuuhei admits, surprising himself by how seriously he's taken this. Maybe if Renji had been just as bad his performance wouldn't have been so terrible in comparison, but as the point stood, Renji's talents in the oral sex division are great. Renji was better at a thing than Shuuhei was. It is upsetting.
Renji laughs a little, and it's a stupid, throaty, slightlyattractive laugh. "I guess now you'll have to settle for being average at stuff like the rest of us, won't you?"
Shuuhei rolls his eyes, "Well do pardon me for not being a cock-sucking prodigy-child like yourself."
"I guess I'm just naturally talented!" Renji says, lacing his fingers behind his head as he leaned back into the pillows. "Or really lucky. Maybe that finally explains my grades in the academy."
Shuuhei gives Renji a curious look, "Your grades?"
"Yeah, apparently I'm 'naturally gifted' or whatever. That's why they put me in advanced classes. They weren't gonna at first because, y'know, Inuzuri commoner or whatever but I did so well on the entrance exam they managed to squeeze me in. Funny, if I hadn't gotten into that advanced class I would never have gone on that one fieldtrip and met you, would I?" Renji reminisces happily, only pausing to look over at Shuuhei's darkened expression. "Uh, Shuu?"
"You did really well on the entrance exam, huh?" Shuuhei says, fighting to keep his teeth from grinding. He will absolutely not be petty about this.
Shuuhei swears he can count each of Renji's individual teeth, the teasing grin on the redhead's face is so wide. "Oh yeah, you failed your first two times, didn't you?"
"I don't test well. Written exams are really stressful!" Shuuhei says defensively, not quite sure why he feels the need to defend himself on something as trivial as the entrance exam. He got a ranked seat straight out of graduation, for fate's sake!
Renji drops his hands down to his lap and leans over so he's pressing against Shuuhei shoulder-to-shoulder, cooing in a sugar-sweet voice like liquid honey, "Aww, well from now on the grades of my affection will be all you need. For example, your literal oral presentation earns you a solid 'C'. I am making this judgment based on my prior knowledge of being a prodigy. My opinion matters, Shuuhei, and it is because of my prodigy-ness."
It could be possible for Shuuhei to be more offended than he is right now. It could be possible, but right now it doesn't seem likely.
"First of all: fuck you. Second of all, what's this bullshit 'C' nonsense? I was a 'B minus' at least! Okay, maybe a 'C plus'. This grading process is rigged, I demand to see the rubric-"
Before more banter can ensue, Shuuhei tapers off at the sight of Renji's eyes widening suddenly as if in surprise. Shuuhei opens his mouth to ask him what's wrong, but is silenced by a finger being pressed rather rudely over his lips, the universal gesture to hush up.
Renji stands up from the couch, very slowly to minimize noise. He reaches for the sidetable, fingers skimming over the wooden surface until he finds one of his abandoned hair-ties. He pulls his hair back into its trademark ponytail, and walks very pointedly towards the door, and now the signature energy of another ranked shinigami's spiritual pressure is very apparent. It was carefully hidden before, invisible to all but to someone familiar with its owner, but now that it has been pointed out, the spirit energy is glaringly obvious. If Shuuhei focuses only on the spiritual pressure he can faintly see it, colored glossy silver with traces of ivory.
Shuuhei's experiences with Rukia Kuchiki have been sparing, brief, and, in retrospect, rather boring.
He has known of her since the academy- who doesn't know about Rukia Kuchiki, the Princess of the Inuzuri? That the Kuchiki clan would adopt one little Rukongai brat halfway through her freshman year out of the blue was a source of much speculation among even the upperclassmen. The kindest rumors circulating about her were that she had a key piece of blackmail material on the family and was using it to get adopted into wealth and comfort. Darker theory promised that she was kept to be an object of personal entertainment and pleasure for the vapid, abusive young men of the family. It wasn't Shuuhei's business one way or the other.
He didn't know that she had grown up with Renji until after he befriended him. Renji never spoke of her outright, but sometimes Izuru and Hinamori, who had at least known of Renji's friendship with her even if they didn't know her personally, would ask why they never kept in touch. Renji brushed these comments off, saying that they just didn't have anything in common anymore. He was always too busy to talk to her, he said. Busy training his shikai, busy improving his abysmal kidou skills, busy doing anything but trying to contact his childhood friend. Shuuhei himself had been inclined to assume Renji had feelings for her that went beyond platonic, but was too intimidated by the Kuchiki family to pursue her. As a fellow orphan and child of the poor districts of Rukongai, Shuuhei could relate to being put off by the deeply complicated and daunting workings of the noble families.
Then, forty years later, came the order for Rukia's execution, and that peeked the curiosity of Renji's friends. Weary of secrecy, Shuuhei interrogated Renji about the situation personally. Renji just gave a strained smile, eyes flickering somewhere in the distance towards the direction of the white tower where Rukia was being held prisoner.
"She knew what she was getting into," Renji assured Shuuhei, eyes still wandering in that far away direction. "It can't be helped."
Looking back on that conversation, Shuuhei can't believe his past self bought that. He just didn't know how to read Renji right back then, interpret the masks and the shitty way he lies when something bothers him.
The so-called Ryoka Invasion that followed was, as Shuuhei remembers it, one big blur. A mish-mash of cohorts turning against each other and betrayal and the sour aftertaste of despair when Tousen left with Aizen and Ichimaru. Rukia, Renji, everyone faded into the background as Shuuhei took a good few weeks to lament his loss of leadership and the crushing weight of abandonment. He didn't mean to drift off into his own little world, it was just that without the man who had given Shuuhei his reason to fight and promised him that he wasn't a coward... well, when that man left it was just so hard to stay grounded.
As quickly as Shuuhei could manage, he pulled himself together. By that point, to his surprise, Renji and Rukia took back to each other's companies like ducks to water. They squabbled, teased and played as if they had never transcended their shared childhoods on the streets. Playful verbal sparring was commonplace, and on a rare occasion a hair-pulling match would break out. Renji and Rukia would both be sent to their respective opposing corners of the room until it was agreed that they could cohabit in peace when timeout was over.
The rest of the lieutenants had a tendency to treat Rukia like she was Renji's baby sister, and her presence was pretty dismissible unless Renji or Byakuya were present. If that ended up being the case, she would instantly become the most important person in the room and anything that you did that could somehow maybe put her, even vaguely, in harm's way was a personal sin unto yourself. Only after her promotion into vice-captaincy, when Rukia started hanging out with the other lieutenants at their usual spots for drinks and dining, did Shuuhei realize he had it all wrong. Rukia wasn't the annoying little sister at all, she was the cool big sister.
Despite Kuchiki elders' attempts to mold her into the shape of an unthreatening, demure little socialite, Rukia has retained all of her willfulness and quick-wit she cultivated in her youth. She is perfectly agreeable up until a debate breaks out, at which point she can tear you to shreds with but a sharp glare and a clever word, and she can drink until, according to Shuuhei's reliable estimate, one quarter of her tiny body is made of alcohol. If she had been, at the least, favored by the ranked shinigami before, she became the height of popularity when she made vice-captain, much to Renji's delight.
But then Shuuhei had to come in and be the home wrecker on the platonic friend-marriage that Rukia and Renji shared with his stupid feelings and love and shit. Rukia seemed just so angry—not angry, hurt—that Renji would keep such a big secret from her.
So Shuuhei knows what he has to do—if he wants to continue dating Renji, he's going to have to "date" Rukia by extension.
Not literally, of course, because Shuuhei's got his hands full enough with Renji alone. And she's still, like, Renji's sister so that would be weird for all kinds of reasons.
Shuuhei knows he's going to have to bond with Rukia, make it so that he's not just wedging himself between Renji and the rest of his life and blocking everyone else out. Shuuhei doesn't have to be friends with Rukia, exactly. Shuuhei will settle for a strong acquaintanceship, if worst comes to worst.
The kids in Karakura town are less worrisome. There's still the strong chance that Renji's not quite close enough for them to be especially protective or passionate about whom he's dating. Ichigo might be the exception to that rule and okay, Shuuhei might be a little intimidated by the teenager who can blow away buildings with the swing of his zanpakuto. What would they even talk about? "Hey, you destroyed any massive, reality-tearing threats to the human and spiritual world recently? That's cool. I filed a repair claim for one of the buildings ruined in the process, but I spilled some tea on it and had to dry it out on the windowsill. We all have our battles."
But one problem at a time.
Renji stops in front of the door, hand on the handle for a few moments. With a flick of his wrist the door slides away, revealing Rukia poised with her hand raised in a fist as if she is about to knock.
Her midnight blue eyes blink wide in surprise, mimicking the expression of a child caught with their hand in the cookie jar, before her hand falls down to her side. "Uh, hi."
"Rukia!" Renji stammers, either in surprise or in latent embarrassment or fear that she perhaps had heard some key pieces of conversation through the door that could be categorizes as Too Much Information. "Uh, hey. Whats up?"
So begins the dance of the awkward attempts at trying to be casual. "Nothing, really. Just wanted to check in on you. I was in the neighborhood so..." Her eyes flicker to Shuuhei on the couch, blushing slightly as she recognizes Renji's yukata on his frame. "Is this a bad time?"
"Well, I don't know if now is-" Renji begins, but the rest of his words, whatever they might be, never get a chance to come out because Shuuhei sees his opening. With all mysterious deities beyond Death Gods as his witness, he will appear as likable and non-threatening as possible to the petite lieutenant!
"Not at all," Shuuhei says readily, smoothly smashing Renji aside to grant Rukia leeway into the living area. "It's very nice to see you again, Miss Kuchiki! Please come right in."
Rukia looks surprised to see Shuuhei so willing to greet her, but Shuuhei is a man on a mission. She crosses the threshold and strolls into the familiar living area, tastefully ignoring the the small piles of Renji's tabi that have accumulated in the quarters for at least a good few years. Shuuhei has been tempted to pick them up himself, but he doesn't want to disturb the natural homeostasis of Renji's abode quite so drastically yet. To start cleaning up after him would be like tearing down the habitat of a rare and exotic wild animal. Like an endangered species of baboon, except one that's prettier and decorates its dwellings with significantly more take-out containers than the average baboon.
Renji rocks back and forth on his heels. At least he doesn't seem bothered in the least by the fact that he's dressed only in his sleeping yukata. Renji only owns nightclothes and uniforms, Shuuhei remembers. When he speaks, it comes out as a mutter, "So, um, sorry again about ruining the dance by breaking the decorations with, you know, my body."
Rukia shakes her head, her mouth twitching into a small smile at the memory. "That's not important. I came here to apologize to you, actually." Her eyes glance between Renji and Shuuhei. "Both of you."
Shuuhei and Renji share a look, eyebrows raised. Renji's the one who looks back first and asks "Why?"
"I think it goes without saying that I didn't take it very well when I found out about you two being together," Rukia brushes her bangs out of her face self-consciously. "That was immature of me. No one should get that kind of a reaction."
Shuuhei's not really sure what to say to that. Hell, Rukia's reaction seemed to be mainly in response to the fact that their dating was a secret, and if that's the focus of the rest of Seireitei then Shuuhei will count the unveiling of their relationship a huge success.
…. Actually, that's kind of sad when he thinks about it.
Renji raises his palms, signaling for Rukia to slow down. "Rukia it's okay. I mean, it's not like you started a riot or whatever. You just yelled for a while and I'm used to you doing that already!"
"Well yeah, but not about serious stuff! I was surprised, but I should have let you know that it doesn't matter to me who you date. I'm just…" Rukia sighs, folding her arms over her chest. "I was really happy when we became friends again. It felt like we were on the same wave-length, even after all of those years we didn't speak to each other. And then I was the one who told you Shuuhei had a crush on you, but you didn't say anything about it so I thought that you weren't interested. So I asked you to take Orihime to the dance because I thought she could use you as company, and I thought you's be OK with that, and I've always been able to rely on you. But, I suppose, on both accounts I didn't understand you as well as I thought I did."
Renji visibly deflates under her words, gnawing on his lip. "I know I should have trusted you, I just... I wasn't ready yet."
Rukia holds onto one of her hands with the other in front of her, rubbing the wrist. It's a motion Shuuhei recognizes from playing card games and the like with his friends; a self-comforting gesture. "I get it... But then I wondered that maybe the reason I didn't pick up on it when you weren't telling me everything was because there's some stuff you can't with me." Her speech slows down, as if she's trying to be very careful with her words. "That maybe there are other people who are... really serious in your life. I can be okay with that, but I really like being friends with you. I don't want that to go away."
Renji looks like something in his heart just exploded, and he gets the sappiest expression on his face. Not the sappy kind like when Shuuhei told Renji he loved him, the happy-sad kind of sappy. Cathartic, Shuuhei guesses. There's a better word, but it doesn't come to him. Izuru would probably know. "Rukia…"
This tastes entirely too much of a heartfelt revelation between two age-old friends for odd-man-out Shuuhei's comfort. Best let them work out their stuff on their own instead of lurking between them before initiating his personal attempts to make nice.
"Do you want tea?" Shuuhei says, internally wincing at the way the tender moment of silence shatters and falls into splinters around their feet, turning to Rukia first and then to Renji. "I think I want tea. I'll make us all some tea."
He drifts off to the kitchen, keeping one ear open to eavesdrop on the two shinigami in the living area as he potters through Renji's cupboards. He can't stop himself from being intensely curious about what they're going to talk about, or if he might come up in the conversation.
"So… yeah," Rukia says, sounding no less awkward despite Shuuhei's exit.
Renji coughs a little, probably into his fist, before replying. "Uh, yeah."
Gods, get the fuck on with it. Shuuhei rolls his eyes as he manages to locate Renji's teapot.
"Would it be okay if I asked how long? Like, how long since all of this," Rukia asks, sounding purposely vague like she's fishing for information.
"How long since me and Shuuhei?" Renji offers, sounding a little absent-minded at the thought, "I'm not really sure. A few months, I think. We got together right after the thing in Hueco Mundo."
Rukia makes a noise of affirmation. "That's a pretty long time to keep a relationship a secret. I'm surprised you were able to hold it in for so long."
Well, truth be told that probably got a lot easier when they stopped making out in hallway broom closets, Shuuhei considers.
"But I also meant how long, like, how long have you liked guys. If that's okay to ask."
Shuuhei stops with his hand on the stove knob, suddenly unable to focus on the task before him. He looks back at the thin wall separating him from the other two, very intent on hearing Renji's answer.
Rukia seems to realize how personal a question she just asked and falters. "You don't have to tell me if you don't want to, of course! I was just wondering, because it seems like right now you've been keeping it a secret or something."
"Nah, it's okay. I've been thinking about it for a while, I guess," Renji admits, and Shuuhei tries to imagine his expression. Maybe it's thoughtful, or resigned, or ashamed. Shuuhei's kind of hoping for thoughtful, though. The other two options are kind of terrible and thinking about them makes Shuuhei's heart clench up. "It's like- okay, so you know those shitty personality quizzes in magazines and junk like 'How outgoing are you?' and 'What flavor of bean-paste describes your personality' or 'Take to find what flavor of tea you're most like unless your names are Rangiku or Yumichika and you're about to start another fight over who gets the title of Royal Dragon Passion Fruit or what the fuck ever-'"
Rukia interrupts him. "Is that what all the screaming was about at the tea shop on Fifteenth street a while back? We had to attend an entire seminar on proper conduct with civilians over a tea quiz? I'm so done with everyone."
"I know, right? I was ready to jump out the window- wait. That's not even the point! I mean that everybody takes those tests and even if they're horseshit part of you will always read your answers and go 'Aha! That's totally me! I knew I would get an answer like that.' even if it's not really that accurate."
"Oookay," Rukia says, obviously not knowing where this is going. Shuuhei doesn't either. Renji is sometimes a majestically confusing individual.
Renji huffs before continuing. "So what I'm saying is I think I was maybe sorta-kinda gay all along. But I'm not sure if I knew it deep down and was subconsciously trying to avoid it, or I legitimately had no idea and it sprang up on me."
"Oh!" Rukia exclaims, voice overcome with understanding. "So basically it was there, but you either way you didn't really know it. Like… the name of your zanpakuto. The zanpakuto of your homosexuality."
"Yes, let's go with that," Renji finishes somewhat skeptically. He calls in a louder voice, "Shuuhei, you okay in there?"
Shuuhei blinks, coming back to his surroundings to look down and notice the kettle all but bubbling over on the stove. "Whoops," he comments to himself before he calls back: "Yeah, just a second!"
Quickly Shuuhei arranges the tea tray- which is actually just the thing Renji uses when he wants to do paperwork and eat at the same time. The thing, like a plank of wood you put across your lap to balance stuff on. Whatever its name actually is- and carries the tea tray/lap thing into the living room and sets it by the coffee table, as an open invitation for Rukia and Renji to join him.
He barely sets it down before Renji claims a cup and starts pouring spoonful after spoonful of sugar into it. Rukia drinks her own tea plain like a fucking human being and not a sugar-addicted manchild. But Renji is Shuuhei's manchild, Shuuhei reminds himself as Renji scoots over on the couch very pointedly to make room for him.
"So how's junk in Karakura Town? You've been so focused on us I forgot to ask what's been new with you." Renji asks Rukia between sips.
"All's busy on the frontier," Rukia responds, waving her hand dismissively. "Almost a little too busy, to the point where at least we're in no short supply of target practice. It's actually kind of shocking since we haven't seen this many hollows pop up since the portal stuff in Hueco Mundo. Maybe Vice-Captain Kurotsuchi's meeting will clear up why hollow activity has been so irregular."
"Can't we go one fucking week without some stupid hollow issue? Oh, there are too many hollows. Now there's not enough hollows." Renji throws his hands in the air for emphasis, narrowly avoiding spilling tea all over himself.
"Wait a second," Shuuhei cuts in, "What meeting?"
Rukia's eyebrows lift in surprise. "There's an informational meeting for high-ranking officers tomorrow in the Twelve division. Apparently there's some new technology the Court Guards would like us to get acquainted with. They sent out hellbutterflies earlier today, didn't either of you get one?"
Renji nodded his head towards his window. "I've been procrastinating on my correspondence."
Curious, Rukia sits up from the armchair she had planted herself in, pads over to the window and peeks under the curtains. "Wow." She sucks in a breath. "I guess word got around about you two pretty fast, huh?"
"None of them have been answered yet," Shuuhei informs her. "I haven't even checked if there are any at my own quarters. I think as far as gossip goes, it'd be best to address that kind of thing in person anyways."
"Well, yeah. But it's not really gossip, is it? Not with you two dating and living together and everything. Doesn't it get kind of crowded in here for the both of you?" Rukia chuckles as she places the curtains back over the window.
Shuuhei eyes Renji's living quarters. "I don't know if you can really say we're 'living together.'"
"We kinda are living together," Renji mutters over the top of his teacup, sounding a little defensive. "We have places we live in and we are living in them at the same time."
"Yeah, but I think that officially 'living together' would imply that one of us moved in with the other permanently, when in reality we just sort of switch back and forth from your place to mine," Shuuhei points out.
"Not necessarily. We can call my place the summer home and your quarters can be the winter lodge and then it all works out," Renji waves an arm to gesture to his living quarters wistfully.
Shuuhei pointedly rolls his eyes, "Renji, don't be ridiculous. You know very well that it can't be a summer home without a romantic lakeside view. What do you think I am, a barbarian?"
"I'll get a kiddie-pool and set it up right next to the window for you. In return I expect to see a fireplace in the winter-lodge next time I'm there. With chestnuts roasting by the open fire, as I've heard the legends require. Gods help you if there aren't chestnuts. I swear I'll flip my shit so hard if I don't see at least one chestnut."
The sound of Rukia giggling draws both Renji's and Shuuhei's eyes towards her. She tries to stifle the sound with her hand over her mouth, but fails to stop the amusement from quirking the corners of her lips up from behind her fingers.
Renji gives her his best scornful look. "What?"
"Nothing." Rukia says, dragging her hand down to cup her chin attentively, "You two are just really sweet together, is all."
Renji and Shuuhei exchange blunt looks, before turning back to Rukia with identically serious expressions on their faces.
"We most certainly are not," Shuuhei announces, self-assuredness regarding his and Renji's masculinities practically oozing off him.
"Not even a little bit. You saw nothing sweet at all on this visit," Renji nods in agreement.
Rukia leans in on the armchair, her fist in her cheek and regarding them smugly. "You're right. That would be vastly unprofessional. Must've just been a figment of my imagination."
Unfortunately, all good things must come to an end, Rukia's visit included. The day leaks away into evening, and she has a home and a brother who's company she must return to. The life of a lieutenant is a busy one after all, as Shuuhei and Renji both understand it, and they all have busy days tomorrow. No doubt there's going to be much discussion and activity at the meeting on Monday.
The meeting. The meeting tomorrow. The meeting where all of their friends are going to be present.
Shuuhei wants to feel like he can be okay with this, wants to rationalize it. People were going to find out anyways, they have nothing to be ashamed of, yadda yadda.
But the truth? This is not okay. It doesn't feel okay that Shuuhei can find something as great as this feeling that Renji instigates in him, trust that discovery to no more than three people, and wake up the next morning to find out that he's suddenly everyone's business. It doesn't feel okay, but this situation is so foreign that Shuuhei's not sure what to feel at all. Maybe he should be angry, but angry at who? Let's look at the list of suspects.
There were exactly three people in the room when Shuuhei announced his intent to tell Renji his true feelings. He almost counts only two, because he nearly forgets Captain Muguruma was there. The visored captain is a highly unlikely source of gossip to Seireitei. He hardly talks to anyone except Shuuhei and his fellow visoreds when off duty, and Shuuhei suspects that when not working his captain still spends more time in the human world than the spiritual one. Kensei's behavior is more based on self-preservation than actually trying to be distant, seeing as many soul reapers aren't enthusiastic about letting three half-hollows run the divisions, but he respects his squad and Shuuhei can't imagine he'll care deeply about Shuuhei's romantic life one way or the other.
That crosses off the one, now about the other two.
Shuuhei peels back the curtain slightly, looking out almost in hope that the hellbutterflies have magically disappeared or at least gotten the message that they aren't welcome. No dice, as the flock seems as numerous and agitated as ever, all but flinging themselves against the window pane with startling intensity. He wonders how many of the messages are from his friends. Wonders even more about what they say.
The best case scenario of this whole situation is that Izuru or Rangiku didn't mean to spread the story of Shuuhei's love for Renji, they were just confused by his unprecedented announcement and discussed it with friends for clarification. Through one string of reasoning or another, they came to the conclusion of the truth and by then the fact was out in the open for all to see.
Worst case scenario is that Shuuhei trusted two of his closest friends with some very personal information and they gave it away as if failing him had become a competitive event. Rangiku has a lot of good qualities, but she's an attention-seeker who isn't above gossip. Izuru also has many admirable things about his personality, but he's moody and does so love to complain to just about anyone who would listen.
Shuuhei lets his forehead fall onto the glass of the windowpane, shivering a little at the sudden coldness against his temple. The hellbutterflies swarmed to his eyelevel, blocking his vision out of the Sixth's barracks. If he had never decided to tell Renji he loved him, how much longer could they have kept their relationship a secret?
Kazeshini was right. Shuuhei was too impatient. Impatient and pathetic.
Shuuhei jumps a little when he hears Renji behind him. "What are you doing?"
Shuuhei cranes his neck back to meet Renji's eyes. "Nothing. Just thinking."
"Dangerous business, that." He shifts closer to Shuuhei, looking over him out the window at the pack of butterflies. "Worried?"
Shuuhei drops the curtains, blocking out the outside world once more. "Doesn't matter, I don't want to think about it right now."
Renji's hand appears on Shuuhei's hip, his touch so light Shuuhei almost doesn't feel it. Shuuhei takes that hand in his own and turns so he can face Renji, who fixes Shuuhei with a gaze full of concern.
"Stop worrying. We'll be fine!" Shuuhei says, giving Renji a playful punch on the shoulder. Renji grunts in response and ruffles Shuuhei's hair, earning him the retaliation of Shuuhei grabbing his wrist and twisting the skin between his hands in a stellar case of Indian Burn until Renji yelps for him to stop and threatens to lick Shuuhei's hand.
Shuuhei gives a belligerent Renji a victory kiss on the temple and the problems of tomorrow fall away, at least for tonight.