AN: If I could order a shirt saying 'I Heart My Readers' I probably would.

Listening to: Kerli – Nature Boy
Metric – Too Little Too Late

Disclaimer: No copyright infringement is intended. xVampiree does not, in any way, own Twilight. All characters, besides those not mentioned in the Twilight Series, belong to Stephenie Meyer. Any other recognizable publications and/or characters do not belong to xVampiree. They belong to their respective owners. The plot line belongs to xVampiree. None of this work may be reproduced in any form without permission from xVampiree. Copyright 2010.

Chapter 25 – Losing
Edward Cullen

I was running down the streets of Forks. The rain felt like bullets bouncing against my skin while the wind tried to blow me over. My lungs burned as I struggled to control my breathing. How long had I been running for? An hour? And still I didn't appear to be moving forward.

Suddenly I found myself being hurled against something hard as rock. The metal taste in my mouth and the stinging sensation on my bottom lip let me know that I had managed to split it.

I opened my eyes and saw a house in front of me. It was small and run down but there was a light on inside. Seeing that light ignited a glimmer of hope inside of me – she was there, she could help me. She was the only way I would be able to get my kids back.

They had left a note on my bedside table, they said that they couldn't live in Chicago anymore; that their home was in Forks.

My legs felt like lead as I pulled my body up the porch steps and up to the front door. My hand reached out and knocked twice against the hard wood.

I had been expecting my brunette angel but it was Garrett who answered. He looked down at me with a look of disdain. He looked terrible – like he hadn't slept in over a century.

"What are you doing here?" he snapped.

"Please, you have to help me," I pleaded. "I need to see Bella."

"Bella isn't with us anymore,"

No! She had to be there. She was the only one who could help me. She knew the kids better than I did.

"What do you mean?"

"She died, Edward!" Garret shouted. "She died because of what you did to her!"

It felt like my brain couldn't comprehend what he was saying. There was no way she could be… dead.

Images of my beautiful Bella flashed through my mind. Her once fair complexion now pale and her skin ice cold, her warm chocolate eyes looking lifelessly back at me.

I collapsed to the floor and wept. "Why her? Why did it have to be her? No!"

"No, no, no…" I was mumbling as my eyes flew open and I jolted upright.

Oh thank God, I thought. It was just a nightmare. My body felt as though it was on fire as I reached up and wiped the sweat off my forehead.

What would have made me dream something like that?

I climbed out of bed and went to check on the kids. I opened Kate's door first, her lava lamp cast a pink glow to her bedroom as she slept with her hands tucked underneath her pillow. I watched her breathing for a moment before checking on Masen.

Masen's room was almost completely dark except for a nightlight on his bedside table. I was about to turn it off when he suddenly inhaled deeply, making a snoring noise. If that snore was anything to go by, he was never going to get married. Women didn't like men who snore.

-x-x-x-

"How many times is she going to visit?" Kate whined for the hundredth time today. It was Tanya's third visit and the kids were getting tired of her fake pretenses.

Her first visit didn't go down well at all – the kids refused to leave their bedrooms to see her so I was left to talk to her. I asked her, somewhat bitterly, how Paul was and she immediately closed up and changed the subject.

I felt a small flicker of satisfaction knowing that they had probably split up. Looks like Paul suddenly saw who Tanya really was.

Tanya's second visit was infinitesimally better than the first. The kids actually saw her that time although they weren't very welcoming. Kate flat-out asked her what she was doing here and Masen stood by his sister.

I had to hand it to Tanya – she was persistent. Even though the kids clearly didn't want to talk to her she still tried to strike up a conversation with them. Her behavior was very different from what I was used to but I chalked it up to her split with Paul and being alone for once in her life. I was certain that I would never get back together with her not even if she was the last woman on Earth but she was the one that had brought Kate and Masen into my life. For that reason alone, I decided that if she continued to show such interest in Kate and Masen's lives then she deserved a chance.

Kate didn't feel the same way. She saw Tanya as a fake and was suspicious as to why she was suddenly so interested in them.

"It's just for a few hours, Kate. Then you won't see her for a while." I assured her.

"I'd much rather be practicing for my recital," she huffed, sliding a clip into her hair to keep her bangs out of her eyes.

I had managed to find a good dance studio that was looking for students. Kate was happy there but she said that she'd much rather be getting lessons from Alice.

"You've got the rest of the week to practice," I reminded her as I went to check on Masen.

"You okay, buddy?" I asked him when I saw that he was sitting on his bed trying to tie his shoes.

"Bella taught me how to tie my shoes and now I can't remember," he explained, sounding frustrated as he tugged at the laces.

"Do you want me to help you?" I offered, already kneeling down next to him.

"No, I wanna do it," he protested and shifted away from me.

I sighed and left him to try on his own, over the weeks he had become progressively more independent. He wouldn't let me brush his hair because he wanted to do it. He wouldn't even let Paige pack his lunch.

Paige had been a great help so far, I don't think the kids would have settled in as well if we didn't have her. Of course, she was nowhere near Bella's standard.

Three short raps on the door let me know that Tanya was waiting outside. She planned to take the kids to the park today because she wanted to see if they would be more open to her if they were in a different environment.

I coughed to cover up my gasp with a cough. Tanya was wearing jeans. Not a skirt or a dress but she was wearing jeans. No, this was just too much. Suddenly she was taking an interest in the kids and wearing jeans. I was convinced aliens had abducted the real Tanya and she was living up in space ordering around little green creatures to do her evil bidding. I was about to ask her 'who are you and what have you done with Tanya?' but she spoke up first.

"Yes, I know I look like a hobo but I'm trying to remain incognito today since we're going out in public."

I decided to play along. "Ah, so the paparazzi are hounding you again?"

She sighed, exasperated. "You have no idea. Everywhere I go all I see is flashing lights. It's maddening, I tell you."

"It must be hard to be a celebrity," I said with false sympathy as I fought a smile.

Tanya was more of a celebrity in her mind than in the real world. In her mind the paparazzi were stalking her and she had fans running up to her all the time for her autograph. After all those years of being married to her I still had yet to see paparazzi or a fan.

"Okay, I'm ready!" Masen announced as he hobbled towards us, trying carefully not to trip over his shoelaces which weren't tied properly.

I sighed and kneeled down next to him. "Mase, can I please tie your shoes?"

"Yeah, but only 'cause you said please."

I stifled my snicker at his words. He sounded like a parent allowing their child to sleep in for just five more minutes.

"Thank you," I said to him as I quickly tied his shoes.

"How is your new school going?" Tanya asked him.

He shrugged. "It's fine."

I gave him a look. "Don't pick up that habit from your sister."

I heard Kate laugh menacingly as she walked down the hallway and into the living room. "He learnt from the best, dad."

I chuckled. "Are you ready to go?"

"Wait, let me get my backpack." Masen quickly ran to his bedroom to fetch his Finding Nemo backpack. It was a gift from my mother for Christmas and he took it everywhere with him.

I hugged both of them and then let them leave with their mother. I couldn't believe I was letting them go with her, but Tanya had really been trying the past couple of visits.

-x-x-x-

It all seemed too quiet without the kids here. For the first time in months, I was bored. So I decided to watch some TV to pass the time.

I ended up watching a documentary on mushrooms since there was nothing else on. I mean really, who has the time to make a documentary on mushrooms? Before I knew it, I was asleep on the couch.

I woke up after what felt like hours and I was convinced it was almost time for Kate and Masen to return but when I checked the clock it had only been fifteen minutes.

I busied myself with work until it started to get dark outside. I checked the clock and noticed that it was already four o'clock… the kids should have been back an hour ago.

Masen probably convinced Tanya to stop for ice cream. They're fine. I tried to assure myself.

I decided to call Tanya just to be sure.

"Hi, you've reached Tanya. I'm not available right now. Please leave your name and number and I'll get back to you."

"Hi, Tanya, just calling to see if the kids are okay. Call me back."

As I ended the call someone phoned me.

"Hello," I answered immediately.

"Hello is this Mr. Cullen?" A female voice enquired.

"Yes, it is,"

"Good evening, I'm sorry to call you on a weekend but we have been trying to get in contact with your wife."

I was about to interrupt and tell her that Tanya was no longer my wife but she continued.

"I work at the store, High Fashion, in Port Angeles and a few months ago your wife bought a number of items to the amount of three thousand dollars on credit. So far she has yet to make a single payment, please let her know that she has until the end of the month to start paying or the items will be repossessed."

"I'm sure there must be some kind of mistake," I said. Tanya had more than enough money in the bank and what was she doing buying items on credit anyway? "What items did she buy?"

"I'm afraid not. She bought three pairs of shoes, a fur coat, two handbags, gloves and a pair of sunglasses. Please tell her to call us and make an arrangement or matters will be taken further."

"Okay, I'll tell her," I agreed. "Thank you for calling."

Well Tanya had certainly been busy. I still couldn't understand why she would buy those items on credit.

I paced my apartment as I waited for Tanya to call me and tell me that she was running a little bit late.

Unless, she wasn't running late. What if she was doing this on purpose? I dialed Kate's cell phone but she didn't pick up either. Kate always had her cell phone on her – no matter what.

Something was wrong.

"Fuck," I cursed and grabbed my car keys. I drove to the park and scanned the area to try and find any sign of them.

If the kids had been here the first place they would have gone to was the ice cream man.

I ran towards the stall, nearly giving the old man working there a heart attack.

"Whoa, whoa, easy buddy. The ice cream isn't going anywhere." he said to me, holding up his hands in a 'stop' gesture.

"Have you seen my kids? They were supposed to be home nearly two hours ago."

"You obviously have no idea how many kids I sell ice cream to a day, what do your kids look like?"

This could not be happening. My throat felt like it was constricting as I struggled to breathe. "My daughter is twelve with blonde hair and green eyes, my son is five with brown-ish hair and eyes. They were with my ex-wife, a strawberry blonde."

"Was your son carrying a backpack with some sort of fish on it?"

"Yes!" Maybe they weren't gone.

"I saw them get in a black sedan that was parked over there a couple of hours ago," he pointed to an empty parking spot. "The strawberry blonde was with them."

"What? No!"

I felt like I couldn't breathe. Fuck, I was such an idiot! Why did I let them go with her? Why did I let them out of my sight?

"Fuck," I cursed.

"Hey, buddy, this is a children's place. No swearing. I'm sure your kids are fine," the old man tried to assure me.

It felt like my nightmare all over again. My legs felt like lead and my lungs burned with the lack of oxygen.

"Thank you," I managed to choke out to the old man before sprinting in the direction of my car.

I did a quick drive around the area before driving straight to the airport. If Tanya was planning on taking my kids away then I was just going to have to stop her. Why the fuck would she do something like this? I always knew that Tanya was slightly cooked in the head, but what would make her take Kate and Masen?

There were only two things that I knew for certain.

First, I wouldn't be able to do this on my own. And second, I would travel to every country in the world to find them if I had to.

-x-x-x-

I contacted the authorities to report my children as missing but they told me they would have to wait for twenty-four hours before they could do anything to help me. This was a standard procedure for all missing persons' cases, because people usually showed up in that time frame. I understood why they had to do it, but it wasn't exactly helpful.

Next, I called my parents' to let them know what happened. To say Esme was frantic would be an understatement.

"What do you mean she took them?" she screeched.

"She took them to the park and they were gone. I looked everywhere but I found nothing mom," I choked. "They're gone!"

"I swear to anything Holy left that once I see there I will rip her to pieces! My grandbabies are gone and that bitch is responsible for it! Carlisle!" she screamed. "Carlisle!"

Between her screams and wails she told my father what had transpired and ordered him to call every single member of our family, including Bella. I told her not to call Bella because I was already on my way to Forks. I had to tell Bella face-to-face. Esme agreed that it was probably better that way and gave me Bella's new address. Apparently she was staying at her parents' old house.

I managed to get a non-stop flight straight to Seattle and an indirect flight to Port Angeles. I had no idea if Tanya had brought them here, but I needed the support of my family. I also needed to see Bella. Her help would be the most valuable; she knew the kids probably more than me and knew Tanya well enough to know what she was capable of.

I hadn't thought to hire a car so I was stuck using public transport to get to Bella's house. Thank god my mother gave me the address.

I gave the cab driver the address and told him to get there as fast as possible. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse… it started to pour.

"Oh, for fucks sake," I grumbled. Was the universe trying to play some sick joke on me? Now this was exactly like my dream… hopefully some things were different.

I gave the driver fifty dollars and ran up the porch steps in the rain and noticed there were lights on inside the house. Thank God, she was home.

I stopped when I reached a window and my breath caught in my throat. There she was… as beautiful as ever.

Bella was seated on an arm chair, her legs on her side, as she read a book. She looked… peaceful and healthy. She certainly had put on some weight, her face was rounder than the last time I saw her but it suited her.

Then out of nowhere, Garrett appeared and sat on the arm of the chair. He leaned in and carefully kissed her temple before saying something to her that I couldn't hear.

A shiver ran through me, whether it was from the cold or from the scene in front of me, I couldn't tell. Bella had moved on.

Keep it together Edward. Your kids need you.

I moved away from the window and knocked on her front door.

"I'll get it," I heard Bella say and heave herself off the chair.

My heart clenched as I waited in anticipation. What would she do when she saw me? Slap me again? Slam the door in my face?

"No, you need to take it easy," Garrett protested. "I'll get it."

"What the fuck are you doing here?" he growled at me, blocking the doorway.

"Please, I need to speak to Bella." I tried to get past him but he wouldn't let me through.

"Garrett, I don't have time for your games. I need to speak with her. Now!" I said angrily and shoved him so I could get inside. Before I could even comprehend what happened, a fist connected with my jaw and threw me to the ground.

"What the hell is going on?" Bella shouted as she approached us. She gasped when she saw me. "Edward?"

I took a moment to take in her appearance. She wasn't wearing her usual short shorts and tank top. Instead she was wearing a baggy sweater and sweat pants. My shoulders started shaking violently and before I knew it the dam opened and started shedding the tears I tried so hard to withhold.

"What the hell, Garrett?" she said and shoved him aside to get to me.

All the pain and desperation I tried to hold in for the past couple of hours burst out. The pain of leaving her behind- the pain of losing my babies, the self loathing for letting that whore take them. The desperation that I might not find them. "B-Bella," I chocked out. I was on my knees in front of her. Begging for mercy. "P-please, Bella," I felt something running down my cheek and I couldn't determine if it was blood, tears or rain. I grabbed the hem of her sweater and started talking through my cries. "You're the only one who can help me. S-she… T-Tanya, Oh God, my b-babies… B-Bella, they're gone. She took them away… "

AN: So, LOVEpeaceANDharmony and I have decided to put Tanya in a cardboard box and throw her over Niagara Falls. If this method of torture is too mild, please feel free to offer your suggestions. I'd love to hear them ;)

In other news, I will be leaving shortly on a 17 hour trip (by car) for a week. My family and I will be staying in a hut for the first night and then in a tent for the rest of the time. Lord, help me. If I see a spider I may crap myself. We're going on a safari like a bunch of tourists *sigh*

So, until then… Behave.

Pen, thank you for everything you do.

Follow me on Twitter to hear my horror stories about locusts the size of my hand, etc. You can find me under the name: xVampiree

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