Chapter 25: Angry Sex

As she took her first step back to the bed, the door swung open again, surprising her. She turned again, only to be attacked by a rough kiss and hands in her hair. He kicked the door shut, without taking his mouth off of hers. He shoved her onto the bed and brought his teeth to her neck, making her cry out. It hurt, but Trixie didn't care. He moved so fast Trixie couldn't keep up with what he was doing. She was without her nightgown before she could blink. His mouth found her nipple and at first his tongue and breath felt lovely, but then he bit so hard it brought tears to her eyes and she had to bite her lip until she tasted iron so that she wouldn't scream. She felt him smile against her skin before he pulled away and removed his pants, the only thing he wore to sleep. When he returned to her, his hand found her throat as he climbed on top of her. She gasped and he shushed her.

Suddenly, he was inside her and it hurt. She gasped again and his grip on her throat tightened, cutting her off. Their eyes met and Trixie could see the anger in them, which frightened her. She forgot about being scared, though, when all she could focus on was his thrusting into her as hard as he could again and again.

She was out of breath and hadn't even done anything when he let go of her throat and slumped against her, breathing quickly, his breath warming her ear. She tried to keep her breathing even, since Speed's chest was bumping into hers with each inhale. "Too fast," he murmured, still out of breath, pushing himself up to meet her gaze.
"Feel better?"

"Not quite yet," he pulled away a little and then came closer again, sliding almost all the way out of her, just to come back in. Trixie closed her eyes to the feeling, ignoring the cramp in her abdomen from his abuse. He fell into a rhythm that got progressively faster until they were both breathing heavy again. When he came it was hot inside of her, but she welcomed it, because it meant she had Speed back. He kissed her one last time before getting off of her and pulling on his pants again. Before she could say anything, he ran a hand through his hair and left the room. Confused, Trixie cried herself to sleep, clutching her abdomen.

The next morning, Trixie really felt cheap. She took an exceptionally long shower, trying to wash away the shame she felt. She couldn't decide if she felt ashamed because she'd enjoyed Speed's roughness the night before or if it was because he had treated her like an object, to be left alone when he was done. It was probably both, which actually made her feel worse.

She finally talked herself out of the bedroom and made an appearance for brunch. Since it was Saturday, everyone (except for Mom, of course) had slept in a little. Mom smiled at her in a way that made Trixie think maybe she hadn't been as quiet as she'd thought, but the smile immediately vanished when she took in Trixie's defeated expression. Clearly, things had not gone as wonderfully as it had sounded last night.

Speed crept out of the nursery, where apparently he had slept on the floor, rubbing his eyes. Trixie felt her heart leap as she saw his groggy cuteness. He still looked the same way he had in high school when he awoke. It made her ache in more ways than one. She almost breathed a "hey, Speed," like old times. Then she remembered that she felt slighted by him and she dropped her gaze to the pancakes that Pops had just plopped on her plate.

Pancakes.

Speed looked up at Trix, the fork, full of syrupy pancake chunks, hovering in front of his open maw, and he gave her a questioning look. Then he sat up a little and offered her the forkful of sticky, yet what Trixie knew was delicious, mess of pancakes. Trixie hadn't eaten breakfast, it was true, and the pancakes were so close to her face she was inhaling their scent and it made her stomach rumble. She shrugged and opened her mouth, why not? Speed laughed a little, more to himself than aloud, and put the fork right over her tongue. Trixie closed her mouth around it, imagining the taste of the pancakes a second before the taste was real. Cinnamon. Yum. She closed her eyes to the taste, the beautiful texture, and she felt the silverware slip back between her lips as Speed took back his lucky fork.

She opened her eyes to find him watching her now, the blue of his eyes dancing with laughter. She could almost hear him chuckling, though his shoulders weren't moving up and down, so she knew he wasn't really. His mouth, however, was grinning, his side-grin, at her, three and a half of his teeth visible between the pink of this lips. She licked her own; ridding herself of the syrup the fork had left, as a trail, behind. Speed's grin widened and Trixie saw his tongue right on the edge of his bottom lip. At the same time, they both seemed to remember where they were and brought their gazes down and then up from the side to stare at the middle of the table.

Sparky got up from his chair, the scraping sound of the chair legs on the linoleum seemed extra loud all of the sudden.

Mom sat down in her chair pulling it in closer to the table as she settled, the scraping sound of the chair legs on the linoleum echoing Trixie's memory and giving her a chill.

That had been a lifetime ago. She'd had pancakes since then, of course, but it seemed the memories of Speed and all those electric moments were the only thing she had anymore. They haunted her at every turn. She swallowed and managed to eat a few bites, but the syrup seemed extra sticky and her mouth was so dry she could barely get them down, no matter how much milk she drank. She downed two and half glasses before giving up on eating.

While everyone else ate, Trixie sorted through her thoughts and the memories that had floated around her lately. The most recent one reminded her of Sparky, as well. He had stopped coming to meals since Trixie had returned, though Mom assured he'd stopped coming to all of them before that. Apparently, Speed had been very brooding and Sparky had felt uncomfortable enough to duck out after working on the cars. This only made Trixie feel marginally better, but at least it wasn't entirely her fault (by returning, that is). It was still her fault Speed had been in such an unappealing mood.

"Excuse me," she said, when she looked up at the family to find Speed staring at her, even as he ate. It scared her, more than reassured her, because he was looking at her as though she were something else he could eat, rather than something he could hold and cuddle. She stood quickly and dropped her plate in the sink. Her fork slipped and landed on the floor and she crouched quickly to pick it up. It left a string of syrup that she insisted on cleaning up, even though Mom stood and said she'd wipe it up. She hit her hip on the way to the paper towel and that was when Trixie realized she was in for a hard day.

Once she'd cleared it with Mom that she could leave X at the house, Trixie got into some workout clothes and headed for the park. She hadn't gone for a run in who knew how long, but she hoped it could release some negative energy within her and calm her a little.

She should have known better. Her and Speed had grown up in this park. She passed a rose bush and yet another memory hit her—this one even older than the last.

Some little blonde girl in her class had been babbling on about how her daddy knew all about Speed's daddy to Trixie and some of the other girls. "He says the whole family's crazy."

"Speed's not crazy," Trixie said, frowning.

"No," the girl agreed, "he's just dumb," she kept talking, but Trixie was distracted by Speed riding by in his little car. They had barely ever spoken, but Trixie wanted to be friends with him because he seemed to be just as fun-loving as her. She jerked back to blondie just as the girl said, "you wouldn't believe what the retard did-

How dare she say something horrible about Speed! Trixie lifted her little fist and punched the girl as hard as she could. Before the other girls could react more than gasp, Trixie saw Speed staring at her. Their eyes met for a moment and she felt a rush of happiness before he crash into some rosebushes.

"Speed!" she raced toward him, leaping through the bushes to find him lying on his back, the car overturned. "Are you alright?"

He blinked up at her, "who are you?" It hurt a little that he didn't recognize her. He had seemed to a moment ago.

"I'm Trixie," she said uncertainly. "I'm in your class."

"Oh yeah." A heartbeat. "Hey, you wanna see my car collection?"

"I'd love to."

She sighed and decided to turn around and jog back home. She'd walked there, as a warm up. She jogged around the block once, before finally going back to the house.

Speed was watching television on the couch with Spritle and Chim-Chim, Pops was in the garage (where else?), and Mom was finishing up feeding X in the kitchen. Speed glanced back when the door opened and closed, but Trixie ignored him, not that it mattered. As soon as he realized who it was, he turned back to the television.

Trixie ran a hand through her hair and slipped out of her tennis shoes before putting them on the shoe rug and heading toward the bedroom to take a shower. This would be her second shower within two hours; oh well.

Mom tugged X out of his high chair, "you know, Trixie," she said before Trixie disappeared into the room off the kitchen, "it seems awfully nice out." Trixie nodded her agreement, "why don't Pops and I take the kids to the park for a while?" She looked pointedly at the back of Speed's head. Her message was clear, but Trixie wasn't entirely sure what she was supposed to do. Speed was the one being closed-off.

Still, Trixie appreciated Mom's attempts to give them some time alone. Spritle complained for a moment, until Mom promised ice cream on the way home. Then she managed to tug Pops away from the Mach 6 by the time Trixie had gotten into the bathroom and started the shower. She heard the shuffling in the kitchen and then the family's goodbye before the shutting of the back door.

She sighed as she stepped into the stream of warm water. Even though it was a smidge too hot, it was comforting. She shut her eyes and just stood under the water for a moment, feeling her sweat streaming down into the drain. Her muscles began to relax, just as a cold draft made her shiver and stiffen. Slowly, she turned to face the shower door.

Speed stepped into the shower with her and she tried not to act too happy to see him—ALL of him. He cracked a smile, so she assumed she hadn't succeeded. He stepped very close to her and she stepped back, her back meeting the shower wall. She didn't like the way he was looking at her. It was much the same as he had at the table earlier. She swallowed and shook her head, "no, Speed. This isn't what I wanted. This isn't getting you back, this is being used."

"Don't you think I deserve to just use you a little?"

She frowned, "absolutely not. I deserve your anger and your cold shoulder, but I don't deserve to be objectified."

He shrugged, "I thought you wanted to me to fuck you."

She tried to keep a level head, even though he was so close to her—so warm, so muscled, so familiar, so right, so ready. She could feel the tip of his penis just touching her inner thigh; she hated that it felt wonderful right now.

She put a hand on his chest and shut her eyes a moment longer than a normal blink. "Speed, this is not the same."

"We're not the same."

"We can be."

"I don't know if we can."

"Then please stop treating me like this and just let me leave."

He frowned, "I don't want you to leave."

"Do you think you'll ever forgive me, ever love me again?"

His frown deepened, even though he pressed himself even closer. Suddenly the extra heat of the water was suffocating. "I never stopped loving you. Can't you see that why this hurt me so much?"

She shut her eyes again. Of course she had known that, seen that. But this was not love, why he was here now, with her in the shower. This was not what Mom had wanted when she'd left them alone in the house. "I-"

He bent down and kissed her. It was one of those kisses you always see in the movies—the one where the guy wants the girl so bad he can't wait another moment to kiss her hungrily. At least, Trixie figured that's how it looked. It felt different: it was not loving and desperate, though she could feel his love deep within it. This kiss was devouring and lustful, it was full of aggression and payback. He was pushing her so hard into the wall her shoulder blades were aching. She tried to push him off her, but his mouth went to ear and he entered her. This did not hurt, because to her embarrassment, her body was ready for him. He let out a soft chuckle in her ear, a clear sign that he found it amusing that despite her protests, she had wanted him.

"Speed," she managed, though it came airily. He didn't stop pumping into her, smashing her tailbone painfully into the wall. "Speed, please. I don't want it to be like this." She did want it though. As he came in and out of her, she couldn't deny that some part of her was so glad to have him this close to her. But her pleas only seemed to fuel his aggression. She recalled that the last time he had released anger this way, she had also been extremely submissive.

She made her body relax and began to move with him, which made him falter, but only for a moment. She pressed her lips to his shoulder, trying to be loving even through the pain. His hipbone was digging cruelly into her side, but she ignored it as best she could. Trixie was determined to enjoy this as much as possible. Surely if Speed realized that he and Trixie were making love, instead of him attacking her, he would see that they should move past their troubles and be a happily married couple again. She moved her mouth to his, wrapping a hand around the back of his head and weaving her fingers in his hair.

He pulled back, becoming still. "What are you doing?"

"Enjoying myself."

"Why?"

"If you're not going to listen to me, I might as well take what I can get, right?" She made sure to keep the smile off her face, knowing if he thought she was amused he would be upset.

He frowned, but moved back toward her. She welcomed him, even shifting her leg to help him get a better angle. She could feel that he was unsure now, his anger having ebbed into confusion. It was probably a strange thing for a woman to ask you to stop, only to throw herself at you in the next instant, even if she was your wife.

When their lips met again, Speed kissed her more passionately than she could remember since Rex had come into her life. Guilt swept over her as Rex's name floated through her mind and she kissed him back just as fervently, wrapping her arms around him to keep him close to her. He was thrusting more gently now, though this was still not smooth and slow, caring sex. Trixie didn't mind, even though her abdomen was hurting a little. When he came, they both sighed at the same time and he actually looked her in the eye as the untangled themselves from each other.

The water, cooler now from being on so long, rained down over them, blurring Trixie's image of Speed as they stood staring at each for a long moment.

He opened his mouth, as though to speak, but then they both moved toward the other and met somewhere in the middle for round two.