Author's Note: Okay, I'm sorry if the last chapter was a disappointment, but hey, I worked hard on it! XD Thanks for everyone's support since I know it was really far out there. I've never done that much research for a story before... XO

Anyway, this chapter brings Rick back into the story a little bit which is good (I've been worried that he'd gotten lost), so please enjoy!

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Chapter 25: Understandings

How I managed to get though the rest of that evening after all that Kai had told me, I may never know... Although the apple souffle had been forgotten, it thankfully hadn't been missed, but that wasn't what left me so uncomfortable. It was the expression on the weary man's face as I left him behind that haunted me, and I couldn't help remembering the emptiness in his eyes, watching me return to the life I'd been living without him. I knew I had done nothing wrong, but I had to wonder how he felt to see me go. I could hear it in his voice that he regretted the decisions he'd made, yet there was something else weighing heavily on his mind.

And it didn't take much to figure out what continued to trouble him...

"Rick, do you know where Lance ran off to?" I asked the older man who'd begun to busy himself with washing down the table. "It's getting late..." He lifted his head rather quickly which sent his lenses sliding down the bridge of his nose.

"I thought he was taking Opal home..." he replied pushing his glasses back up to their proper place. "Should I go find him?" he offered, already headed for the door. His over-protective nature would almost always cause a scene when it concerned the boy, especially if a girl was involved. I hadn't ever seen a parent so dedicated to a curfew, and I had a terribly hard time convincing him that midnight was more than acceptable for a young man at sixteen as a result. It would seem that some things will stay the same, it seemed.

"There's no need to worry about it," I assured him with a smile. "After all, he'll be seventeen next week." I almost laughed to even consider that my son was growing up so quickly because it seemed like it was just yesterday he was nothing more than an infant. I had one regret, though, and that was wishing I would've done things differently with him in the beginning. However, there wasn't any time to dwell on what could've been, I suppose. "If we can't trust him at this age, then there's not much we can do to change him now."

"Well," he muttered under his breath, "I just don't want him to turn out like that worthless-"

"Don't talk about Kai like that!" I snapped, causing him to flinch. I'm not sure what had come over me, but I had to admit it certainly shocked the both of us. Rick could only blink at me in complete surprise as I ran my nimble fingers through my hair in frustration with myself. "I'm sorry," I apologized at last, feeling like I was utterly spent. I more or less was, too...

The day had left me emotionally spent, and because I felt it didn't concern him any, I hadn't shared anything of the other man's past. However, that left me to deal with all of it on my own which made me anxious inside. My rising panic wasn't as bad as it could've been, but I was still trying to make sense of what I'd been told. The story of Kai's injury and his reasons for not coming back to Mineral Town were dubious at best, yet he was too honest of a man to lie. It was strange how someone that was viewed as such a rogue was really nothing more than a misunderstood individual. That's why I couldn't stand anyone looking down on him. I never really could even before he had left.

"Claire, what did he say to you while you were over there?" Rick asked quietly, resting a hand on my shoulder. I went to open my mouth to reply, but he pressed a finger to my lips and warned, "Don't you dare try to defend him, either." Gazing up into the man's blue-green eyes, I could see he was absolutely serious, and not for the first time, I was actually afraid for his rival if he even thought the other had done anything to wrong me. There was such a fierce intensity to his personality when it came to the traveller. I'd never seen so much life burning within him...

After I was able to use my voice again, I found I was becoming increasingly defensive. "He didn't do anything, Rick," I protested. Why was I acting like this? It wasn't really me... or was it? "Kai would never hurt me." However, even I knew that statement wasn't exactly true. He had hurt me once in the past, and that's all it took before the man I'd come to love would step in. The one who held me was always there to protect me when I needed saving, and he'd comfort me afterwards.

"I understand..." he relented while bringing me into a tender embrace. I winced under his gentle touch at first, yet soon enough I was melting in his arms. As always, I felt secure with him near me, like my troubles just vanished into nothingness. "Maybe you're right..." he admitted, "but I still don't think Lance should be spending so much time with him."

"Why not?" I demanded, burying myself into his chest as I breathed in the warm and comforting fabric of his sweater. The poor thing had been soaked with seemingly endless tears throughout its lifetime, but like its owner, it was determined to help me through the difficulties I faced. Even so, it couldn't keep me from digging into the man's skin angrily. "He's the boy's father, Rick."

He sighed in defeat before resting his head on my own in his usual way. "Goddess, Claire, he wasn't the one to raise him," he argued with bitterness in his voice. Although I knew it was true, it only upset me more, and I felt the familiar heartache rising in my chest. It was as if he didn't even comprehend what he was saying anymore. Didn't Lance deserve the opportunity to get to know his true father? "You know I think of him as my own son."

"Of course you do," I agreed, letting my grip on him ease a little. However, before I could stop myself, I gazed up at him and asked in a voice so small that it was barely a whisper. "Do you love him, though?" At first, it seemed as if I'd caught him off-guard, but then he smiled softly down at me like I was child trying to understand something from an adult's point of view.

"If I didn't, would I be so upset about him going to see that asshole?" he challenged gently before kissing me on the forehead. "I know I'm strict," he confessed with a slight chuckle, "but that's just because I'm worried about him." Even though I had known that, I was grateful to hear him say it, and I sighed happily, resting on his chest once again. It wasn't as if I doubted him, but I always wondered how he really felt towards his step-son. Still, I felt guilty for ever questioning it. "He's a good kid, and I want him to stay that way, too."

"Kai's not a bad man," I insisted, "no matter how much you think he is..." I was firm in believing that, regardless of who argued against it. Maybe it was a losing battle, but I wanted to make that clear to Rick. It didn't seem like too much to ask although I knew his animosity towards the other man ran deep, and I was determined to see the day when the two would at least be on even terms. "Why can't you see that?"

"Because he's just a womanizer, Claire," Rick explained, holding me closer to him. "Who knows how many hearts that bastard's taken? First my little sister, then you..."

"You got me in the end, didn't you?" I teased, sneaking in a kiss on his lips. He chuckled to himself, but then he sighed which told me he doubted what I'd said. He appeared to be a bit deflated as well, and I wondered what I might've done to hurt him since I was trying to cheer him up. However, his eyes had dimmed while he lost himself in thought. "What's wrong?" I asked uncertainly, gazing up at him. "Was it something I said?"

"No," he reassured me, "it's just..." As the words trailed off, he rested his head on my shoulder. "That's not my blue feather up there..." Although I couldn't lift my head to see it for myself, I remembered the symbol of Kai's and my engagement, and the marriage that followed, was displayed on the shelf of our home. In a rather ironic turn of fate, the gift which Rick had given me sixteen years before on the Starry Night, the crimson and gold painted goose egg, was nestled next to the feather I'd received from from his rival. Both the red and the blue had lost their vibrancy over time, but each one was still precious to me. I would never dream of parting with either of them, yet as long as that feather remained in our home, Rick would always be the other man.

"There's nothing I can do about it, though," I replied although I knew it wasn't really the whole truth. I simply never considered it before now, but it was possible I didn't want to, either. Maybe a part of me had been waiting until I had known the truth, or... perhaps it was that I'd been hoping things could've gone back to the way they used to be. Regardless, I knew it was time to make a decision. It was Rick or Kai...

... and I only wished I could have both.

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"What on earth am I doing?" I wondered aloud, glancing down at what was tightly in my grasp. The dusty blue treasure I held in my hand burned me as I made my way to the Mayor's house the day following a difficult night of inner turmoil. Although it was unusual for me to make a visit to the man, it was the only place where I could go for what I was about to do. I kept telling myself it was the right decision, but I continued to doubt my resolve. I knew it was pointless for me to agonize over the matter... yet because the result would be so permanent, I was afraid to go through with it. "You can do this, Claire," I tried to convince myself without a shiver racing down my spine.

As I came to the Mayor's door, I lifted my eyes up from the cobbled street, and I realized I had almost collided with someone. "Kai?"

I had to admit that I was completely blown away, yet there he was, standing directly in front of me as if he'd just stepped out of the very place I was headed to. He seemed to be rather bewildered himself, but soon enough he offered me a small, apologetic smile. "I didn't expect to see you here," he explained while he leaned comfortably on his crutch. Then he chuckled to himself like he found the coincidental meeting to be somewhat amusing, and I couldn't help wondering about the joke that I was missing out on. "What have you got there with you?" he asked, knowing full well what it was.

Even though I knew he had seen it, I childishly hid the blue feather behind my back. I couldn't help feeling ashamed for what I was doing, but we were both aware, by that time at least, of what had to be done. I glanced away, afraid to see the disappointed expression on his usually serene face. However, he gently took my chin in his hand and brought my eyes to meet his own. The tenderness still lingered there, yet I could clearly see the sadness that had begun to take its place in his warm gaze.

"You don't have feel sorry for me," Kai assured me, his voice quivering from the strain to keep smiling. "I... I just figured it was for the best is all." I felt my heart crack in my chest when I began to understand what he was implying. Although I should've expected that to be the reason he'd come from the make-shift town hall, I was rendered speechless, and I could feel the tears welling in my own eyes, widened from shock.

"D-did you..." The words failed me while I hung my head sorrowfully. There were many thoughts that were rampantly coursing through my mind, but one rose above all the others, finding it's way into the world. Breathlessly, I asked, "Why..."

"Because you were right," he explained with a shrug. Although he was trying to appear casual with the whole matter, I could see him shaking, and I knew he couldn't last much longer in my company. He was truly broken now, but there no way I could possibly heal him. Only time could have any hope of piecing him back together into the man he once was. Even then, there was a good chance he'd never be the Kai I had known... and in the past, the man I'd loved. Still, maybe it wasn't just an end. "All you have to do now is sign your share of the paperwork, and it'll all be over between you and me."

"Kai, are you really okay with this?" I pressed, taking a step towards him. I watched as he flinched back away from me, but I wouldn't let him simply run away. He only stopped when his back was pressed firmly against the door, behind which was the closing chapter of what had been our relationship. We both knew fully well that he was anything but... That didn't matter, though, because I wanted to hear him deny it. I wanted to hear him tell me it was alright even if it was just to ease my own guilt...

Finally, I was right in front of him while I continued to wait expectantly for his answer. We were so close that my eyes were clouded by his uneven breaths in the chilled winter's air, and I was sure I could hear his heart racing. He closed his eyes like he was trying to shut me out. However, he knew I wasn't easily ignored.

"Of course I'm not 'okay' with it, Claire," he confessed although it came out with a slight growl, "but it's what's got to be done... Right?" I watched as the tears began to glisten on his tanned cheeks while he fell back into silence. I could imagine how his heart was breaking since I had gone through the same ordeal myself. It was an aching that spread across a person's entire body, and if he wasn't able to find someone to stop the pain, I knew he might consider doing so himself. I wanted to believe that he wouldn't let that happen... Even so, I knew it could be a possibility because unlike me, he didn't have anyone to rely on... He probably would end up suffering all alone.

"I... I'm sorry, Kai," I apologized quietly as I took his hand, and I returned the blue feather he'd given me all those years ago. He merely stared at it for a moment before he lifted it up slightly above his head to gaze at it. I could see the memory of the night he'd proposed flicker across his warm, misted eyes, and I wondered what it was like for him. Would he look upon it as a happy memory, or was it something he wanted to tell himself had never happened? It wasn't for me to know...

"So are you and Rick going to..." his voice trailed away, unable to cope with the mere thought of me being with someone else. However, I could see a ghost of a smile tugging at his lips, and in a strange way, I could tell he was actually happy for me. Like always, he was trying to put my wants and needs before his own.

"Maybe," I agreed with a half-hearted shrug, "but I think we're comfortable enough as we are." It may have been unusual to some, but we'd spent the past years living together without a blue feather between us or each other's ring on our finger. Rick had never brought up the idea of marriage, and I certainly hadn't, either. We were more than happy to spend our lives as we had for so long; not to mention, most of the village considered us to be husband and wife since that was more or less the nature of our relationship. It seemed so trivial to have it written on a document.

Certainly the last which was done in the traditional manner hadn't meant as much as it should've.

"At least you found someone to make you happy," the man relented with a heavy sigh. I glanced at him to see the warmth in his gaze, and I found the strength to offer him a grateful smile which he returned. It seemed so peculiar to look at him now while I began to realize that I was free in a sense. Although it was selfish of me, I felt it was a refreshing thought.

"I'm sure you'll find another one day," I encouraged him wistfully. Certainly such a kind man wouldn't be alone forever... However, he seemed to be amused by my prediction, and he actually chuckled to himself. I wasn't sure what he found so comical about the heartbreaking situation, but when his tender eyes rested on me once more, I felt myself becoming dizzy from seeing all the emotions that swirled in those open pools of chocolate.

"No, Claire," he whispered before leaning in close to me, "it'll always be you..." And with those sad, sweet words, he kissed me... one last time.

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Author's Note: I actually cried a few times while writing this... However, I think I loved writing this chapter more than the last because I really enjoyed all of the scenes with Kai (sorry Rick). X3

There's only five more chapters to go, but since I'm going home this weekend for some turkey dinner (and I've been putting off finishing my final for Drawing I O-o), I probably won't be able to update much after tonight. I'll try, though...