Lone Star by K. Jessica Ramirez

Chapter 24

The drive home is silent yet imploding not the kind of full silence when there's nothing to talk about and neither party feels they have to fill the silence but the kind of full silence where there is so much to say or question yet you say nothing at all. It's the kind of silence that screams the truth the kind I've shielded myself away from for years yet from one day to the next it penetrates my shield and suffocates me.

Prim hasn't said a word after we stepped out of the diner. She has always had this broken look swirled in her eyes but there was always a hint of hope and rebellion yet now her once lively blue eyes are stale with no hope or retribution. Looking at her breaks my heart so I don't, I can't.

I pull the rundown truck into the familiar gravel road, Hawthorne Residence. Wish I could say it's nice to be back but it's not. Everything seems to frustrate me here in this state just a couple days ago my real only frustration was my mother's calls and Thresh bailing on me for lunch. Gosh what I'd give to have that back. Especially Thresh I could use my childhood friend with me.

"I think I'm going to invite Thresh down for a while." I inform to Prim.

She snaps her eyes towards me. There is a small pause before a get a brief nod as a response. With that confirmation we both exit the truck and make way into the house.

I notice Gale's mother standing on the front porch and almost consider going through the back but Prim trudges ahead of me and I follow unwillingly.

"Where have you been? Ain't you supposed to be my son's wife?" The she devil screeches with her southern tang that when in anyone else's mouth is actually kind of pleasant now.

"Yes I am Hazelle." I answer uncaringly.

She gasps as if I was to have slapped her before her family and then responds, "It Misses Hawthorne to you, and why you ain't been around? You suppose to take care of my boy. Not only that but you ain't done no chores!"

I move to push past her into the house like Prim did but something she says makes me pause. Maybe it's the strain on my soon to be marriage. Maybe it's the overwhelming reconnection with my sister. Maybe it's the newfound heartbreaking whereabouts on Stark. Or maybe it's even that I just don't like my shoes but whatever it is I stop misstep and in my pause Hazelle shuts up almost as if she knows she just pushed me over the edge.

"Gale," I start putting emphases on his name, "is a grown almost married man. I am absolutely positive he can manage time away from me without dying. And about the chores you see I was under the impression I'm marrying your son not applying to be his mother's maid."

"But I-I, you-you" She stutters to reply.

"Now I've got important personal matters to take care of in the deration of my stay here and I will not put up with anything less than decent behavior from my fiancée's family. Understood? Perfect." I state and walk past her.

I walk in to search for Prim but she's not in the living room she more than likely went to the guest room she's staying in. I walk over and raise my hand to knock but a small hiccup stops me. I freeze and listen intensely until I hear it again. That's Prim's "I'm crying but I don't want anyone to know I am" cry. I lower my hand and step away from the door. Tears make me uncomfortable.

Automatically I make my way outside. I don't notice it but I've already got my phone out. Damn it! Why do I always run back to my stupid comfort zone when reality is too harsh to understand? I drop the phone back into the pocket. Not today, today I'm going to deal with it instead of locking it away where it will torment me later.

The next thing I know I'm standing before another door but this door is better maybe because it holds within it one of my favorite people. I don't remember knocking but I must have because I hear Peeta shout 'I'm coming' from somewhere within the house. I stand there wondering what I am doing here. Why have I un-subconsciously come here of all places but more importantly why do I keep coming back to this forbidden sweet man who holds no obligation towards me yet has obsequiously helped me.

The door open and I open my mouth to say something anything but nothing comes about not even the tears wheeling inside.

"Doll face what's wrong?" Peeta's concerned eyes on mine.

I open my mouth again but nothing comes out and I'm so frustrated at myself so I do what I want instead of saying what I'm supposed to. I wrap my arms around his waist and burry my face in the nook of his neck. Peeta doesn't hesitate to return my embrace and hugs me tightly. Silent tears sneak out but I don't stop them. With anyone else I would have stepped away and apologized but not with Peeta with Peeta there is no Katniss Everdeen with him there is Kitty Kat Grace Rebelle.

After a moment a move my face from its hiding place but not before pressing a soft kiss on his neck. Don't ask me why or what ran through my mind because I've no idea. I think Peeta gets that because he doesn't question my odd kiss. Still embraced in his arms I prepare myself to let my demons loose.

"Let's go inside Sweetheart." Peeta suggests.

Contemplating moving out of our embrace and into the house made me not want to enter but I know I'd look strange to stand there in his arms and speak to his chest about my troubles so I walk out of his arms and into the house. Peeta leads us to a couch. I sit and one end a bit disappointed to be out of his arms. I need the security okay? Okay you know what to hell with it I just want to be in physical contact with this beautiful man.

Peeta sits too but surprises me by placing my on his lap and wrapping his arms around me. I automatically open my mouth to object but quickly close it content with this position.

"What happened today? Where's Prim?" Peeta questions.

"Prim's at the Hawthorne residence." I decided to answer.

"She didn't wanna come here instead with you?"

"I'm sure she would have but we both received some intense news today shook both of us up a bit..."

Peeta rests his chin on my shoulder and looks at me as if to signal for me to continue. I follow him into the house in which recently I've always run too. The place where I've cried more tears than in the last ten years. Peeta sits and I follow in suit. The room is silent. Peeta says nothing to fill the silence but his eyes scream worry. I want to wash that worry away but I'm sure at the moment my own eyes reflect his exact despair.

Taking a deep breath I open my mouth to relay the events. I chock on the words I desire to share making tears spring to my eyes. Peeta sighs and huddles me onto his lap. I know it's wrong that I shouldn't seek comfort in anyone especially a man who isn't my kin or husband to be but Peeta gets me. He understands so well I can't even explain my comfort around him. I bury my head in the crook of his neck taking a couple of breaths to gain confidence.

"He has another family..." I whisper into his neck my own voice cracking with disbelief

Peeta keeps quiet only rubbing my back to comfort me so I continue.

"He's got an entire other family." I say again my voice wrenched of sadness.

I am done being sad now I am angry. Angry that he'd leave our perfect family just because he was bored. I am pissed off that I have suffered even one second because of his selfish actions. Angry that I ever worried or prayed for his return.

"He has an eight year old son Peeta!" I spit bitterly.

"He left us to go play perfect with someone else, goddamn it! You should have seen his house it was the perfect cookie cutter American vision."

I open my mouth to say more but the anger and sadness overwhelms and a long time coming sob escapes my mouth. I feel Peeta clutch me tighter to his chest at the sound of my broken sobs. Somewhere in the back of my mind where my thought process and analyzation has yet to shut down in utter defeat I note that Peeta cares for me as if my pain pains him while Gale would have stared in disgust at my vulnerable state. He would have taken one look at my tears and booked it out of the room claiming he had work to be done. Never before would that have mattered to me because tears were not in my dictionary. I would have done the same to him but today when my heart has been shattered by the man who was supposed to love and protect me I care so much that Peeta holds me as close as possible to him. So much so that I can hear his soothing heartbeat.

I will add more to this chapter at a later date so check back later