25
Rory had survived the surgery, now they waited for word of what the next stage would be in her recovery as they took her through to CCU.
It was Owen who stepped into the doorway of the chapel, his face betraying his discomfort and Ianto knew he wasn't going to like the next few minutes of his life.
Owen sat beside him, taking his hand and running his thumb over the knuckles as Jack clung to the other hand, staring straight ahead at the candles.
"She's still breathing, still …. Shit" Owen sighed and looked at Ianto, "I … Ianto, she coded twice on the table and they fought so hard. Mate, the preliminaries aren't good."
"Her EEG?" Ianto whispered, "Brain activity?"
"You know too much" Owen lamented as he stopped stroking the knuckles and held on tight.
"Is she still in there?" Ianto asked softly, "Is she still aware?"
Owen let his head fall against Ianto's shoulder and Ianto sighed, pulling his hand free so he could put his arm around him. Ianto held Owen as he broke down, unable to tell Ianto what he already knew.
"Is there any hope?"
Owen shook his head and reached around Ianto to embrace him and Jack reached around as well, the three men huddled in their grief.
Eugene and James had seen Owen going in and had snuck from the family waiting room to the chapel.
They stood in the back and Eugene grabbed for James as Ianto started to wail with grief.
Once they had calmed and the two men had moved to sit behind their son, Owen started to talk haltingly.
"She is breathing on her own, there is low level activity that suggests the brain is still functioning but … there is not response to stimuli or pain. Once she is stable tomorrow we can do a more intense EEG and check the higher functioning brain waves for activity" Owen stopped talking and Ianto smiled thinly through his tears.
"If there are not higher function there is a good chance that she is gone" Ianto finished for him, "This time tomorrow I could be … shit. Will be. It's OK Owen. She's gone. What is left is just winding down. It's OK. I know now. It's OK."
Owen pulled back and rubbed furiously at his eyes with the palms of his hands.
"If she is … if there is no Rory left in there I want to let her go" Ianto said firmly as he felt Jack collapse against him, "We need to be realistic. A vegetative state at her age is cruel. For her, for us. If there is no chance of recovery we let her go peacefully. We can't help her anymore, we can at least give her some fucking peace."
Owen nodded and took a deep, shuddering breath as he looked up at the ceiling.
"Owen" Jack's voice was thick with grief, "Ianto's right. She is such a bright spark, such a bright wee thing. To think of her … trapped between here and the next place is unforgivable. We have to think of her. We promised Rhia that we would take care of her. Letting her go, giving her peace is the right way to honour her now."
Owen nodded and rose to leave, noticing the grieving grandfathers sitting behind them, "You want to add anything?"
Eugene shook his head mutely and James looked up at him, "Our little princess deserves a dignified end."
"I am so sorry, you've lost so much" Owen said sadly, "Another child to bury as well as her children."
"Not all of them" James said as he straightened defiantly, "We still have Ton and he's not going anywhere."
"Yes my loves" Eugene whispered as he clung to his husband, "we still have our wee cherub."