Author's Note: I posted this story a few years ago under my old pen name, but later deleted it. Now I'm posting it again.
"Apolline, didn't you tell me the other day that your daughter was the most promising Veela of her generation?" Harry asked as he nursed a bottle of Firewhiskey. Tonks was already passed out on the floor of his opulent living quarter's here in the fort. The witch hadn't taken Lupin's death well, but then neither had he.
"Yes, I did. Much to my everlasting shame."
Fleur stood here with a petulant look on her perfect face. The foolish child—and Harry couldn't believe he was actually thinking of her as a child—brought her beau Professor Weasley out to the Forbidden Forest when one of the Veela sent her a message about the current Bacchanalia. After the strain of the day's events both the werewolves and the Veela started drinking when they returned from their missions. Around nightfall a drunk Lord Dionysus started broadcasting his Charisma, which caused Veela to produce the even the more potent Ecstasy. From there things quickly went downhill, as it so often did around the Boy-Who-Lived.
"Mother, I have told you before that William is an excellent candidate for recruitment to our cause," Fleur whined. No doubt she had a very specific idea of how her freckled stud could service the Veela. "He is appalled with Dumbledore's lack of leadership during this crisis."
"If the stupid boy wanted a meeting then you could have arranged for one at Hogwarts," Apolline snapped. "The real reason you brought him here was to expose him to Lord Dionysus' Ecstasy in hopes of obtaining a marriage proposal. Because of your selfish breach of security we will be forced to recast the Fidelius Charm, which will place our Lord at risk for several hours."
"Enough Apolline, you've made your point," Harry snapped. The Veela was angry not just with her daughter, but also because she had been called away from her favorite werewolf lover. "Fleur, keep Weasley far away from me. I'm in no mood to deal with one of Dumbledore's stooges. And for future reference it will take an Unbreakable Vow for me to trust your boyfriend. Is that clear?"
"Yes, my Lord," she replied before fleeing.
"Potter, why can't you be that forceful all the time?" Su ask as she walked through the door and sat down on her favorite seat—which was his lap. "Give me that."
Harry handed over the Firewhiskey, and his boss mare took a long drink straight from the bottle. It was one of the most erotic things he had ever seen in his life.
"Su Li, I love you."
"Yes, I know. My mum sent word by owl that Nicolas and Perenelle Flamel are here in Hogsmeade tonight. They want to meet with you, but she isn't sure why."
"Really?" Harry asked as he tried to sober-up. The Flamels scared him almost as much as Voldemort and Dumbledore did. "I think I should go see what they want."
"Nicolas Flamel is one of Albus Dumbledore's oldest friends, so this could be a trap," Apolline pointed out. "It would be better if I went in your place, and brought them back here where we have the advantage of numbers and terrain."
"I don't know if that would matter," Harry said. "I saw Perenelle Flamel kill a Cerberus, a Devil's Snare, and a troll without even breaking stride. And who knows what her husband is capable of after six hundred years."
"Nevertheless my Lord, it would be safer to meet them here at your seat of power in the Forbidden Forest. Thanks to my foolish daughter we already have to recast the Fidelius Charm, so that's not a concern," the Veela Strategos said. "I will return shortly, or not at all."
"I like her. She's so bloody competent," Su remarked before glancing over at Tonks. "I see the meta-slut can't hold her liquor."
"Don't start with the nicknames. Don't you dare," Harry growled. "Less than five hours ago she lit Remus Lupin's funeral pyre with her own wand."
Su wanted to make a catty remark, but for once in her life she held her tongue. "Fine. How are you doing?"
"Not good. Not good at all," he admitted. "Where are Hermione and Padma?"
"They will be joining us in a few minutes. First they wanted to give Luna and Ginny a tour of this place."
"You brought those two? Are you all insane?" Harry yelled as he got to his feet and dumped Su on the thickly carpeted floor. "Xenophilius and Professor Weasley are here at the fort, and if Luna and Ginny see them under the influence of my Ecstasy it will cause permanent psychological damage."
"It looks like you're already too late," Su said as a pair of dazed third-years entered the room.
Hermione and Padma were too embarrassed to explain what had happened, so Harry used Legilimency to gently scan the younger witches' minds. Neither had any mental shields to speak of, and he quickly discovered that Luna had seen her father. This was a major disaster.
Since Harry brought Xenophilius Lovegood here to the Forest for his protection, he had become a mascot of sorts for the Veela. Unfortunately two of those naked Veela were sitting on the publisher of the Quibbler when his young daughter found him. Harry tended to stay away from that sort of thing. It was hard enough for him to please one witch, let alone two or three of them.
Ginny was equally distraught after seeing her brother's pale white arse. The Professor hadn't wasted any time with Fleur, and had her pinned up against one of the trees outside. Neither had bothered taking off their clothes, but that was to be expected when a young wizard has first exposed the power of Lord Dionysus and his Veela.
The whole situation made Harry's rotten mood even worse. "Su, Hermione, and Padma: you three will stay here inside of my living quarters with Luna and Ginny until morning. By then the Bacchanalia should be over."
Hermione tried to object. "But we didn't know this would be happening when we brought them along."
"You should have known better than to bring them out here at all," Harry snapped. "Now that have been inside the Fidelius Charm they are both at risk, since Voldemort and the Death Eaters might try to torture them in order to find us."
"I'm sorry," Su said as she lowered her eyes in shame. "It was a stupid mistake to make. It's just that we were so worried about you, and we know that spending time with Luna always calms you down."
"And Ginny refused to let Luna come alone," Padma added as she glared over at the confused ginger. "I told you we should have used a Memory Charm on her."
That threat finally sparked the famous Weasley temper. "What is wrong with you people? Everyone in this filthy place is acting like a bunch of Death Eater—even my bloody brother. You are all going to get in so much trouble when I tell the Headmaster what's going..."
That's when Luna took out her wand and stunned her friend. "I'm sorry. I should have forced Ginny to stay behind at Hogwarts, but she wanted to see the Forbidden Forest. She has always protected me when the other students were being mean, and I didn't want to disappoint her again."
Su was right: Harry couldn't stay angry when Luna was around. So instead of yelling at her like she deserved, he gathered her in his arms and held on for dear life. "It doesn't matter. Su and Padma will take Ginny to the Infirmary. One of the Veela healers with cast a professional Memory Charm on her, and tomorrow she won't remember a thing. Hermione will stay here to keep you company. There is an important meeting I must attend, but we'll talk more when I get back."
It was wasn't long before Apolline returned with the Flamels. To Harry's horror Nicholas Flamel didn't even bother to introduce himself, but instead began to disrobe. The wizard looked like a hairy hedgehog, yet he had a strange presence about him which caught the eye of several witches. Apparently he had no problem with his wife Perenelle being in the room as he eagerly began to commit adultery.
"It is a pleasure to see you again Mrs Flamel," Harry said as he tried not to stare at the nauseating scene taking place only a few meters away. "I see that your husband is enjoying our unique brand of hospitality."
"Be honest with me Delacour: is the boy radiating this magical lust I'm feeling?" Perenelle asked as she anxiously tapped her wand against her thigh.
"Yes, my Lord Dionysus is the one causing your physical reaction," Apolline replied in a respectful manner. "I too doubted him at first, but now I have accepted the truth of his divine nature."
"I wish to have a private conversation with your young god here. Leave us," the ancient witch commanded. The Veela knew she was overmatched, and with a nod from Harry she retreated to the waiting arms of a naked werewolf.
"Is there something I can help you with?" Harry asked politely.
"When Nicholas heard from his sources among the Veela that you were impersonating a god, he just had to see this farce for himself," Perenelle said as she glanced over her husband, who was thrusting away at a rapid pace.
Her condescending attitude reminded Harry of Dumbledore, and after the events of the day that was a mistake on her part. "Break your wand in half."
A few seconds later Perenelle looked down at the two pieces of her wand. After the shock wore off she cast a wandless Stinging Hex at Harry, but with his magically resistant skin he barely felt it. At times like this he really wished that Voldemort and Dumbledore were witches instead of wizards. If that was the case, this stupid war would be over in an hour.
Perenelle studied him for over a minute before speaking again. "I went back and watched our first encounter in a Pensieve several times. I thought you were using some unknown version of the Imperius Curse on me, but that wasn't the case, was it? Who taught you this new... lust technique, and how did you learn to master it at such a young age?"
"It's a long story, and one that I don't feel like sharing. Now if you and your husband have just come to the Forbidden Forest to stare at my traveling freak show, then our business is at an end."
"Don't be a silly child. You have magical knowledge we want, and Nicolas has many treasures that might be of great interest to you. So we trade. That has always been the way of the world."
"If you and your husband kill Voldemort for me, I will tell you everything you could possible want to know about the new Lord Dionysus."
Perenelle let out a rich laugh. "Nicholas and I didn't last six centuries by picking fights with Dark Lords."
"So even you two aren't powerful enough to beat him?" Harry asked in despair.
"Maybe, maybe not. It's not a chance we are willing to take," she admitted, not at all ashamed of her cowardice. "What about Albus? We could help you there if you are having any trouble with the overbearing prick."
"You aren't willing to fight Voldemort, so why are you willing to fight against Dumbledore?"
"I didn't say we would fight our good friend Albus, but he does own Nicholas and me several favors," Perenelle explained. "We wouldn't mind twisting his arm, if that would help you."
"I doubt it will it will work, but why not?"
After making arrangements for a meeting the next day, Perenelle wanted to see the notorious werewolf queen she had heard so much about. Despite her vast age Mrs Flamel still had a fine figure, and she had no problem fitting in with the group of naked Veela and werewolves surrounding Angelina. Normally Harry would have stayed to watch, but on this particular night he just wanted to get back to his broodmares. He found only two of them waiting for him. Three if you count Tonks, who was still passed out on the floor.
"Hermione and Padma took the little Weasley back to Hogwarts," Su explained.
Harry raised an eyebrow. "I am surprised they didn't stay, and rip each other's clothes off. Usually my Ecstasy has that effect on them."
"Trust me, they wanted to. However Padma felt they needed to serve a penance for exposing Ginny to so many of our secrets, and Hermione agreed with her."
"Oh really, and what penance will you serve?"
"I'm going to stay here... while you make love to Luna."
"That's not going to happen."
"Potter, stop being such an idiot and look at her," Su said quietly. "She needs you, and you need her."
Harry finally did take a long look at Luna. To his horror he saw that she was twitching and trembling like a patient at an insane asylum. He and Su had developed a limited immunity to the effects of his Ecstasy, but this was Luna's first real exposure. The honorable thing would be to take her back to Hogwarts, but after two cold-blooded murders in one day he didn't have any honor left.
"Luna, are you sure this is what you want?"
She never answered his question, but her actions that night spoke volumes. He wanted to be gentle, but Luna was having none of it. Her passion made Harry realize that his earlier plan to find her a husband was pointless. She would never leave him for another wizard, and he didn't have the strength needed to push her away. No matter how much pain it caused her, Luna Lovegood would always be part of his life.
The peace talks did not get off to a promising start the next morning. It didn't take much to figured out who was responsible for the attack on Knockturn Alley and for the death of Severus Snape. As a result Dumbledore was livid. If he wasn't so determined to use the Boy-Who-Lived as bait for his trap, Harry honestly thought the Headmaster would have killed him on the spot.
"Mr Potter, the Ministry of Magic is in an uproar over these attacks. Did you stop even for a moment to consider the consequences of your actions? You have started a war with several of the oldest pureblood families in Europe."
Harry looked over at Perenelle. "I told you this is pointless."
"Mind your tongue!" Dumbledore snarled as he loomed threateningly over his young student. "I know you had a hand in the death of Severus Snape and Alexander Nott. With a single Floo call to Minister Fudge, I could have you rotting in Azkaban for the rest of your short life!"
After this outburst Nicolas Flamel got up, walked over to his old friend, and kicked him square in the testicles. "And to think that I once had such high hopes for you," he remarked as Dumbledore fell over.
The jolly little wizard then sat back down. "Harry, let me tell you a story about one of the most repulsive wizards I ever had the misfortune to meet: Gellert Grindelwald. As a wizard he never accomplished anything besides getting kicked out of that dung heap Durmstrang, yet he believe that the world was crying out for his brilliant leadership. And who was stupid enough to sign on to his wicked crusade but my good friend Albus here."
"Are you telling me the greatest hero in the magical world actually worked with the Dark Lord Grindelwald before he defeated him in their famous duel?" a shocked Harry asked.
"Not only did Albus work with Gellert Grindelwald, he was also his lover. The two planned on taking over the world, and not just the magical part of it either. They were going to establish a New World Order. They and their fellow wizards would enslave the muggles—all one and a half billion of them. Their political alliance only fell apart when Grindelwald killed Albus' sister Ariana."
Harry looked over at his Headmaster only to see him sobbing.
"Pathetic," Nicolas sneered. "Being an Englishmen, I'm sure you know all about the Second War World. By nineteen forty-three the outcome of that hellish nightmare had pretty much been decided, so in desperation Hitler turned to a wizard in hopes of a miracle. There was no way Grindelwald could have changed the outcome of the war, but he was still glad to take the opportunity Hitler was offering him."
"What do you mean there was no way that wizards could have changed the outcome of the war?" Harry asked. "We have our magic."
"I see you're not very bright," Nicolas remarked. "Tell me, what are the most powerful spells we wizards have?"
"I don't know, probably the three Unforgivable Curses," Harry replied.
"Let's take them one at a time. The Killing Curse—which only a few wizards can actually cast—was a velocity of seven meters per second. A bullet leaving a Lee-Enfield Rifle has a velocity of over seven-hundred meters per second, and there were hundreds of thousands of them in use. And these rifles were just the tip of the iceberg. There were also tanks, aeroplanes, and my personal favorite: the atomic bomb."
"Let's move on to the second Unforgivable. The Cruciatus Curse is a child's toy compared to the horrors unleashed by the muggles in their prisons. Plus they have a superior understanding of human psychology, which makes their methods of torture more effective than ours. Any pain we could caused the muggles would have been returned to us a hundredfold."
"The Imperious Curse was by far the greatest threat," Nicolas conceded. "But even that would have been of limited use against a modern bureaucratic nation like the United Kingdom or the United States. If the politicians or generals of those countries started giving irrational and self-destructive orders they would have been relieved of duty. If this happened repeatedly, the magical world would have been exposed in short order. In reality there would have been no way for wizards to have changed the outcome of the war without exposing ourselves, and exposing ourselves would have meant certain destruction."
"Really?" Harry asked. "Couldn't we sabotage their armies using Portkeys and Apparition?"
"Potter, you lived with the muggles for ten years. Do you know how to sabotage one of their armies?"
"No."
"Most purebloods I know are too stupid to use a light switch, so answer your own question. Now as I was saying before you rudely interrupted me, Grindelwald took advantage of the situation to start his own personal war of conquest. Given the chaos of the times it went well for him. Grindelwald was a powerful wizard, and he managed to kill dozens of Aurors who were sent to capture with him. There was only one real hope for defeating him, and that was his former paramour. However Albus refused to take the field for several years. Why was that?" Nicolas asked Dumbledore, who was still sobbing.
"Because I loved him," he whispered. "I still do."
"With the rise of a second Dark Lord, Dumbledore tried to correct his mistakes. But his Order of the Phoenix was no match for the Death Eaters," Nicolas continued. "If not for the brilliance of your mother Lily Potter, by my estimate Voldemort would have seized control of the United Kingdom by no later than nineteen eighty-four."
"This is all very interesting, but what does that have to do with the fact that he's planning on sacrificing me like an albino goat?" Harry asked.
"The point of my story is that once again Albus is acting like an incompetent idiot," Nicolas explained. "Instead of seeking-out Voldemort and killing him, he is sitting on his bony arse while people all around him are dying."
"I agree," Perenelle said. "Albus, if you want to challenge Voldemort to a duel, no one is trying to stop you. But leave the boy out of it."
"What about Mr Potter's other crimes?" Dumbledore asked.
Nicolas rolled his eyes in disgust. "It is called fighting a war. Your goal is to provoke Voldemort into attacking, and Potter's recent actions are sure to do that. For the love of Merlin stop complaining and start helping him."
"I don't want his bloody help," Harry said. "I just want him to leave me and my friends alone until the end of the Triwizard Tournament. After that, you'll never hear from us again."
"Albus, if you agree to Potter's request I will throw in a nice gift for Voldemort," Perenelle said with a nasty smile. "I'm sure he'll love it."
After returning to Hogwarts later that Sunday Harry met with the Slytherin members of the Defense Club. He wasn't sure how long his truce with Dumbledore was going to last, or if it was really a truce at all. How much influence did the Flamels have over their so-called friend?
"I take it you've heard about the attacks on Voldemort's followers."
"Don't say his name out loud," Daphne cried. "Is it true what they are saying around the castle? Is Professor Snape really dead?"
"Yes, he's dead," Harry replied.
"That sucks," Millie said philosophically. "But what does this have to do with us? Our families might be purebloods, but we have never actively supported You-Know-Who."
"That is no longer good enough. I want you all to send word to your families that neutrality isn't going to cut it like it did back during the seventies. If they are not actively fighting against the Dark Lord, then they will be seen as his supporters. That means they will be considered legitimate targets by my side," Harry explained.
"That's not fair," Pansy complained. "All we want to do is survive this war with our hides intact."
"Tell that to my parents. Oh wait—they're dead," Harry snarled. "Just give your families the message, and tell them to spread the word. This weekend was just the start."