Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach.

"Of course I'm a virgin! Are you kidding me? How could I get married if I wasn't? Hey, don't you look at me like that, Sako-chan! Being a cat doesn't count! No, it doesn't! I swear! Hey, no, that doesn't mean you can go telling Kaa-sama! Hey wait, get back here!"

~Shihoin Zarina (who inherited the rare ability to morph into a cat from her mother), 212 years from now

Nanao swore loudly in frustration as the 12th division video feed showed the NATA compound go up in a giant fireball. "FUCK!"

Hana Tsubaki was in shock. Omaeda could only mutter. "...Taicho...?"

Akon adjusted some controls. "We lost signal with Soifon Taicho."

"No," Tsubaki whispered. "No... no - Soifon Taicho?"

Nanao never got along with Soifon, but that didn't mean she wished her ill. She was stunned. This was supposed to be an in-and-out rescue mission - Soifon herself had insisted it was a stealth operation. There's no way - Soifon had to be alive. She had to be. There's no way a captain of the Gotei 13 - especially not one who was that proud - could succumb to a bunch of humans. It was inconceivable.

"Doesn't sound good, either," Akon grimaced, shaking his head. "Here's the last audio feed I've got."

They listened with dismay as Soifon's voice came through, practically admitting her own suicidal attempt to take out the NATA leader. Tsubaki was in tears, Omaeda just stood with a blank expression on his face.

-:-

"Rangiku-san!" Momo squealed as she came into the ICU room. Shiro-chan and Karin-chan were there, and Matsumoto was sprawled out on a bed. Her head was bandaged, and her face was covered in foundation makeup. Momo's face twisted in horror as she saw the disgusting tattoos running up Matsumoto's arms; whoever had done this to her was a sick, sick pervert.

"Sshh," Toshiro cautioned. "She's resting."

"Will she be okay?" Momo asked, worried.

"We're waiting for Kotetsu Fukutaicho," Karin explained as she picked up a bag from one of the chairs by the bedside. "We don't know. Kotetsu-san is waiting for lab results; we've been here for at least an hour already."

Matsumoto looked awful. Her reitsu level was next to nothing. She had all sorts of machinery hooked up to her, and Momo was angry. "Who did this to her?"

"According to reports," Toshiro said quietly, "one of the NATA agents named 'Q'."

Karin broke the grief-strung tension in the room. "I need to get going," she said softly. "I have to get back."

Hitsugaya nodded. He wanted Karin to stay, but the only one on duty in Karakura right now was Afro-san and Arisawa. He had no faith in the former and while Arisawa was a respectable member of Division Black, there was no way she could handle Karakura all by herself.

Karin gave him a hug and kissed him on the forehead before giving him a goodbye kiss. Toshiro was sad that she had to leave. More than ever, he wished she could stay. "It might be awhile before I can visit," he added, knowing that she already understood this but he felt obligated to say it anyway.

"I know," Karin said, hugging him one last time. She lingered, and slowly looking to Matsumoto with a tear in her eye, she left the ICU, sad for Rangiku. Although Karin and Toshiro weren't married (yet - she was pretty sure it would happen one of these days), Rangiku and Momo were an extension of Karin's family, just as much as Rukia, Byakuya, Kuukaku and Hisako were. Karin wasn't particularly close with either Rangiku or Momo, but she knew that they were deeply important to Toshiro, and she was sorrowful because of that alone. She knew Toshiro and Momo were hurting right now, and at some level, Karin felt guilty and ashamed that she didn't feel the same loss.

It was hard - she didn't live here; she didn't see these people all the time. She lived in two worlds, but this was not the one where she made the most connections. Yuzu, Ichigo, Rukia, even Dad - the ones who were on Earth with her all the time - they were closely bound to her. It just wasn't the same.

It made her deeply sad. She loved Toshiro and loved the people he loved; but she couldn't relate the same way to them. She really didn't know how Ichigo did it - the more and more she thought about it, the more and more she realized that the focus of her life was torn between the day-to-day decisions of life in the World of the Living, and the love of her life in far-away Soul Society. It wasn't easy, and right now, she was acutely aware of it. On the one hand, it was easier - while still not easy, Soul Society had been a lot more forgiving of their age difference than Earth had been - but Karin was still a product of Japan; complete with its karaoke bars, movie theaters, soccer games and modern plumbing.

Okay, so Soul Society managed to have modern plumbing in the Sereitei, but still, life in Edo-period Soul Society wasn't exactly what she was used to.

They didn't have anything like a professional soccer league here - and for Karin, it was hard to imagine. She had already received invitations to come to Japan's World Cup Team's practice, to see how she could do when she played around with the professionals. Talk of recruiting her in time for the Olympics was out there. No matter how much she loved Toshiro, her life was still too tied up on Earth - and even there, she didn't know what she would do. Soccer was great, but she still wasn't even sure if she should sacrifice grad school for that.

Karin turned one last time to look at Toshiro, Rangiku, and Momo; and Toshiro nodded to her. He knew that this was a hard moment for her, and he affirmed his understanding and provided the visual cue as an encouragement. Somehow, he knew everything would be okay.

He hoped.

There was quiet in the ICU room for a few moments. The only sound heard was the quiet echo of Karin's footsteps down the hall, and even that faded in time.

Momo broke the silence. "Is everything okay between you two?"

"Yeah," he answered. "Karin's just really stressed out."

Momo looked away. It seemed that everyone was stressed out. She herself was having one hell of a stressful day, that was for sure.

The awkward silence was blissfully broken by the arrival of Isane. "Hitsugaya Taicho, Hinamori Fukutaicho."

They nodded in acknowledgement, but neither seemed to have a desire to speak.

"I'm sorry, Hinamori-san, but I'm going to have to ask you to leave," Isane said apologetically. "According to privacy laws, I can only disclose the full nature of Matsumoto Fukutaichio's condition to her captain."

Momo nodded, but her zanpakutou was protesting.

Not fair, Tobiume whined.

She says you have to leave? Kyouka Suigetsu asked sarcastically. Then let her see you leave.

I don't understand, Momo answered.

Let them see you leave, he emphasized. This is not the inner sanctum, O Master of the Sun.

I don't under-

Let them see you leave, he repeated.

The sudden realization dawned upon Momo as she put her hand on the hilt of her sword, and watched with surprise as she stood there, being ignored while Toshiro's and Isane's eyes traced her path out the door. As though she was no longer there, Isane turned to Toshiro and sighed.

They... they think I left.

And now you understand, Kyouka Suigetsu explained, how a god learns things it needs to know to achieve omniscience.

See? I told you it was a good idea to bring him along, Tobiume added cheerfully.

Hinamori sank back into a chair, an invisible witness to the events as they would unfold. She was eager to hear what had happened, and she was amazed by how simple it was. How absolutely, utterly simple it was. It was so easy that she could only begin to imagine what she could learn this way.

Toshiro broke the silence. "Kotetsu," he said, his eyes still fixated on his vice captain. He would never say it aloud, but Matsumoto had been like a mother to him in so many ways. Not that he truly thought of her that way, but she was family to him. "How bad is it?"

"...Bad."

"Don't spare me the details," Hitsugaya stated bitterly.

Isane grimaced. "The official diagnosis is subcutaneous rosmosis poisoning."

"No!" Toshiro's eyes opened. "A reiatsu seal? It can't be!"

"Those aren't normal tattoos," she began. "The ink is made out synthesized bloodlust rock. It's synthetic, so they were able to concentrate it. Each milliliter of ink is three-hundred percent more concentrated than an entire kilo of pure sekki-sekki."

Hitsugaya was speechless.

"She has so much of that stuff in her, it's amazing she's alive," Isane admitted.

"Is there anything we can do?" Hitsugaya asked frantically. "There has to be something!"

"I don't know," Isane said. "We can't use kido to extract it; the ink just nullifies any and all kido we could use. We could attempt physical surgery over stages, trying to remove it by hand - "

"You would have to practically flay her entire body," Toshiro realized. "That would have tremendous complications."

"Correct," Isane confirmed solemnly. "But that won't help."

"Oh my god - it can't be worse?" Toshiro nearly pleaded.

Isane hesitated. "According to blood samples, some of the synthetic stone is in her bloodstream. By now, her heart has pumped it throughout her entire body. It's probably absorbed into nearly all of her tissue by now. We've taken some samples from the inside of her mouth to confirm the presence of trace amounts in tissue already, but even a trace amount is equivalent to ten grams of rock."

"...Then it's completely permeated her system," he said in shock. "That means -"

"- That she'll never be a shinigami again," Isane confessed, straining to keep her composure. She had been in the position to give bad news for many, many decades now; but this was something that even she couldn't distance herself personally from. Inside, Isane was absolutely raging. She wanted to find whoever did this to her and teach him a lesson. A long lesson involving lots and lots of remorse and guilt, to be physically induced whenever possible.

Hitsugaya sat down. This was too much. He couldn't believe it. In all the years he had known her, he couldn't believe it had come down to this.

"Even if we found some way to extract all of that bloodlust liquid," Isane continued, "even if we found a way to completely pull it out of the tissue - by now, her soulcore is irreversibly damaged. She may not even wake up at this point."

Tears of intense distress formed in the corners of Hitsugaya's eyes. "She's in a coma."

"Not yet," Isane clarified. "But she's probably going to enter one soon."

"Can't you do anything?"

"To be honest, a coma would be the best thing for her right now," Isane answered. "It's the body's natural response to severe trauma. If she's going to improve, even marginally, a short-term coma would help."

"...But there's a risk that she won't wake up."

Isane hesitated. "Yes. And if she does wake up, I can't say for certain how functional she'll be. The psychotrauma could be profound; even if she manages to come out of a coma in better physical health, we have no idea if she'll be emotionally stable."

Hitsugaya couldn't take it anymore; it was too painful. "Matsumoto..." he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Hitsugaya Taicho," Isane said sympathetically. She hated being the bearer of bad news, and this was the worst kind. There was no closure; only doubt and grief and lingering sorrow. It was a tragedy of the highest order.

Unaware to the two of them, Momo was sobbing, restrained only by her teeth grinding like a millstone. She was furious. She was so pissed she couldn't believe it. She was going to find that bastard Q, and she was going to let him have it.

Yes, O Master of the Sun, let's find him. Let's find this Q.

I agree, Peach of Mine - let's find him. Let's find him and kill him.

Momo darted off. She needed a plan.

-:-

"Permission to speak candidly, Taicho-sama?"

Byakuya closed his eyes in forebearance. "Granted."

"You have got to be kidding me," Ichihime said. "You want me to smoke this guy out? You know me, I'll do any assignment; but you're expecting me to be able to maneuver around all this political posturing? My father may have been good with that sort of thing, but I stay as far away as I can from the Council of Nobility. I show up when I need to, and try not to stir up trouble. You can't believe this is a good idea."

Byakuya sighed. "I have no other options," he said. "My relationship with the Council is already strained, due to my numerous requests on Imoto-san's behalf. Neither I nor Shiba Taicho would be able to insert ourselves without great interference from the other members. We need someone who commands enough authority to influence the entire Council, but has not yet stirred up their ire."

Ichihime looked away, annoyed. "What about Shihoin-dono?"

"Her century-long absence is not easily overlooked," Byakuya explained. "In fact, it is safe to see that for a Head of House, she is relatively ineffectual at changing the tide of opinion in noble matters. Besides, she is in mourning and will likely not be attending in person."

"Taicho-sama, I can't see how they would treat me any better. I have to be the youngest Head of House in centuries - I'm not even 130 yet. There's no way that they would respect my authority."

"I beg to differ," Byakuya replied. "Quite the contrary. You have many allies in the Council. The other three Houses will support you openly, as will your extended family, the Hikifunes and Kyourakus."

"Oh yes, because Hikifune Muertara knows me from a hole in the wall, and my uncle is such a respected figure in the Kyouraku Family," she retorted.

"Perhaps, but they will still support you, I am sure of it. The Fon, Omaeda, and Sasakibe families will all support you as well - they will all want justice to be served."

She was skeptical. "Are you claiming that the Omaeda family will care about Soifon's death? She didn't seem to get along with Marechiyo-san all that well. And I would hardly believe that the Fon family cares about this sort of thing, seeing as how they raise their family members to fall in the line of duty."

"On the contrary, Omaeda Fukutaicho actually did care for his captain. But that is irrelevant. Both of them are retainer families to the House of Shihoin. They will support anything supported by the Shihoin House. The Urahara family will also certainly support you, leaving only the Kuzaku and Nikayui families."

"And I would hope that the Nikayui Family would support me as well," Ichihime thought out loud.

That was interesting news, Byakuya thought. He had heard many rumors about the courtship between the Nikayui Family and the House of Banzo since he had approached him about the subject, but she had never openly given any confirmation to him. Not that she generally would. They had a very formal and professional relationship; much like he had with Abarai Renji before her.

Byakuya momentarily thought about commenting on the subject, but decided not to. "Thus among the Houses or Upper Noble Families, you must only concern yourself with convincing the Kuzaku Family to side with you."

Ichihime grimaced. "Pardon me if I'm still skeptical, Taicho-sama. Kuzaku Mikoto is more stubborn than an iron post."

Byakuya closed his eyes again. "You are the best chance the Gotei 13 has to gaining access to Central 46. There is no likely way we could gain access to their chambers without the Council for Nobility's permission; and without access to the chamber-"

"We can't find the mole," she finished for him. "I get it, I get it." Ichihime sighed. "You know I would rather be sent to Hueco Mundo than do this, Taicho-sama."

Byakuya let out a tiny smile that was reserved for only his closest inner circle - his wife, his daughter, his sister, and his lieutenant. "Consider it a training excercise."

Ichihime glared at him. "Very funny."

Byakuya's smile vanished as he continued with the mission details. "The next Council for Nobility meeting is scheduled in two weeks' time. This unfortunately leaves us a with opportunity for which our mole could escape, but we have no choice. We have done the best we can to prevent that from happening, including deploying vice captains to monitor the guards, in an attempt to discourage bribery of the lower officers."

Ichihime's head turned like clockwork. If there was one thing she would never be accused of, it would be stupidity. Ichihime had been the benefactor of the best education Soul Society had to offer, and she was a smart woman. "This is going to be a challenge," she admitted begrudgingly. "I may be a Head of House, but I am still only a vice captain. I am the last survivor of my House, and if I stir up trouble, an assasination attempt is likely as there would be no one able to retaliate."

"I-"

"Sorry, Taicho-sama, I know you would go all high-horse vengeance on me, but as you say, you're already politically compromised. Any part played by you would be perceived as me being your agent, which would bring the Council's wrath upon you. You already know you can't do that."

Byakuya's hand found its way to his chin. "I concede that you have a point."

Ichihime thought carefully. "Despite the influence of the Upper Court, I'll need allies in the Middle and Lower Courts if I'm going to get this done without stirring up a death wish."

Byakuya thought for a moment. "The Ukitake family in the Lower Court can be counted upon, and assuming Kira Fukutaicho remains stable, his delegate could be counted on to support you as well."

"No offense to Ukitake Taicho or Kira-san, but they are quite possibly the least important families in the Lower Court, which lacks real influence to begin with. The Lower Court typically sides with the Middle Court, in an attempt to curry favor from its power brokers," she reasoned.

Byakuya's eyebrow rose in conjunction with the corner of his mouth. "And you claim that you lack aptitude for navigating these murky waters of political ambitions?"

"I suppose I've learned at least a thing or two from all of those damn Sessions for Aristocracy over the past ten years," Ichihime chuckled. Returning to a serious demeanor for a moment, she considered the members of the Middle Court. "There will likely be heavy opposition within the more established members of the Middle Court."

"The Naga family is almost certain to oppose you," Byakuya noted, thinking of the return of the Shihoin who had once been married into their family. "They oppose any and all change to the status quo."

"And from what I understand, so did you, once upon a time," she said lightly, seeing how he would react. It was a bit brazen of her, but Ichihime already had permission to speak candidly, so the sass was out in full force.

Byakuya sighed. "I cannot deny that I find deep value in tradition," he noted. "Although I have learned that change, in small moderation and over time, can be beneficial," he admitted, knowing full well that his actual open-mindedness conflicted with his reputation and demeanor.

Ichihime shrugged, still thinking. "Which one was the retainer family for Urahara-san again?"

"Tsukabishi?" Byakuya offered.

"Yeah, that one," she confirmed. "Are they in the Middle Court?"

"Not anymore," he answered. "After Tessai-san departed to the World of the Living, the scandal forced them to be demoted to the Lower Court."

Ichihime sighed. "Just great," she muttered. "The Middle Court will be difficult to persuade. I can already see the Ryogi Horo teaming up with Naga Uyida to make my life miserable. Perhaps if I could get to Horo-san's daughter Shiki, I might be able to broker a deal; but she's an ice queen with serious mental issues. I'll have to see."

Byakuya hesitated. "If I may be so bold to imply matters of personal significance -"

"Oh god no," Ichihime smiled teasingly. "You're really not going to ask that, are you?"

Byakuya's face went stern. She shook her head amusingly and allowed him to continue. "I was simply going to say that seeing as how the the Nikayui Family is only on the cusp of the Upper Court, their favor will likely be more influential on the Middle Court moreso than any support you receive from the other Upper Noble Families. Ryogi Horo is more inclined to follow Nikayui Tesho than Naga Uyida."

"Taicho, permission to speak candidly?"

Byakuya sighed again. He knew what was coming. "I have already granted said permission."

"Yeah, well I had to ask again, because NO FUCKING WAY," she spat. "I am not mixing personal and political relationships. You of all people should know better, shouldn't you? Isn't the Council already up your ass for marrying Shiba Taicho?"

Byakuya looked askance rather than let her see the shame in his eyes. "I concede that you are correct," he acknowledged. "I am sorry for suggesting it," he added. It was against his personality to apologize for anything, which is exactly why he did it. It was one of the many tests of character he had promised he would pass, so that he could be a good father, a good husband, a good brother and a good captain.

Ichihime smirked at her little victory, trying to settle in as his peer rather than his subordinate for the moment. It was taking getting used to. "No worries, Kuchiki Taicho."

"If I may, though -"

"Oh god here it comes," she cracked.

Byakuya ignored her. "I hope that things are going well between you and Nikayui-san, and not just for political sake."

Ichihime was a bit turned off by the shift in topic. "I suppose," she replied vaguely. "I have a date with him tomorrow night, actually. It's had me up in knots, to be honest with you."

He hesitated, not knowing whether or not it was his place - but he dared to speak anyway. "I have advice for you, if you wish to hear it."

She looked at him askance before shrugging indifferently. He took it as a signal that he might as well attempt it. "If this is about Abarai-kun -"

"Okay, this is where the conversation stops," she interrupted humorously, but Byakuya could tell she wasn't comfortable with the topic. "No offense, Taicho-sama, but this is a one-way trip to Weirdsville."

Byakuya paused before continuing. "I understand," he said. "Then allow me to excuse you from your duties for tomorrow and the rest of today. You have important personal matters to address, I am sure."

Irked, she gave him a sideways glance of annoyance. "I can only hope that you're not implying I should use that time to focus on the political implications of my evening out."

Byakuya stared at her crossly. The gesture was easily interpreted: You know perfectly well that I, of all people, do not place matters of the heart below such ridiculous nonsense.

"Okay, okay," she admitted. "I know, I know. Sorry, but you have to admit that this is weird. I'm discussing my love life with my captain."

Byakuya resumed his paperwork, knowing he would have to do hers for today and tomorrow as well. "Consider it training," he suggested.

Ichihime wondered if he was merely being humorous. "What's that supposed to mean?"

Byakuya did not look up from his paperwork. "As a shinigami, I am your captain. But perhaps as a Head of House, you may eventually come to consider me a friend. Perhaps it is time you step away from one perspective so that you can master another."

Ichihime blinked stupidly. She knew better than to miss the implied compliment: that he thought she was already a respectable shinigami, and that carried enormous weight with her. "Arigato, Taicho-sama," she bowed, briefly returning to military formality.

Byakuya nodded. "I shall see you the day after tomorrow. And please allow me to say one thing."

"Oh god no, here we go again," she teased. "What?"

"Have fun."

Ichihime laughed. "Taicho-sama, you're really surprising sometimes, you know that?"

A tiny smile formed on his mouth before he refocused his entire attention on the paperwork, and Ichihime departed.

-:-

Unohana Retsu carefully pulled the blanket over Kitsune's shoulders. After hours of squirming, complaining, and whining, he had finally fallen asleep. Bedtime is always a challenge, she thought happily, and it is so rewarding to emerge victorious.

Gently rising from the bed where she had been lying down with her son, she found her husband waiting quietly in the doorway.

Rukia-dono is here, he mouthed, careful not to wake Kitsune.

That's odd, Retsu thought. Wasn't she on a mission? Did she get back already? If so, what is she doing here? If there were injuries, she would know to go to the infirmary, not my house.

Coming, she mouthed back. Saijin gently closed the door behind her as she glided out on tiptoes.

"There are others with her," he whispered. "I do not know who they are, but they are terrified of me, so I will take leave."

Retsu frowned but understood. She kissed his nose and he gave a small lick of her cheek, and then he retired to their bedroom.

Smoothing out her uniform and taking a moment to insure she was presentable (for even Unohana Retsu could become disheveled by her son, Kitsune), she passed through the hallway until she came to the living room, where she found Rukia waiting for her.

And that was when the unflappable Unohana Retsu's face went into a rare shock of blank, unexpected surprise. "...Toki-chan?"`

"Unohana Taicho," Naga Toyuki saluted, as though she had never left.

"You're alive!"

"Yes," she said simply, still saluting, the same way she answered any other question - without emotion or excitement.

"She was being held captive by the NATA," Rukia explained, and then gestured to her other guest. "This is Kyon," she introduced, switching into Englishfor his benefit, since he didn't understand Japanese.

"Pleased to meet you," he nodded politely.

Hmm, Unohana thought offhand, shaking off her surprise. Greek accent. Been a while since I've heard that language.

"We just returned from the mission," Rukia explained, "and I thought for her sake, I should bring her to see you immediately. You and the Soutaicho are likely the only ones here she might recognize."

"I understand, Rukia-san. Please, all of you, have a seat while I make some tea." And gather my wits about me as I've just seen someone practically return from the dead.

"Hai," Toyuki said, remaining in Japanese because she was still adhering to military protocol.

"At ease," Unohana instructed her kindly, already remembering that Toki-chan would not do so unless it was an order.

Unohana brought the tea to the coffee table in their living room. Saijin had been a darling and straightened up today's grand mess of string beans and veal-and-carrot stew that had made it all over the floor and walls. (As much as Kitsune was a human boy, he still ate like an animal.) So at the very least, the place had been fit for company. As much as their home ever could be, anyway.

Handing a cup of tea to her guests (making sure the shaky and unnerved Kyon held it tightly before letting him take it), Unohana began to ask for the story when Toyuki's mouth opened and never shut, a stream of medical knowledge flying out of her mouth:

"Quantanic poisoning: 20cc lutagrame. Reishi stagnation of the liver due to acute fiorosis: 37.33cc jinkanesium per kilogram. Broken hyakusu shield: .02cc reishonomine per amplicore. Head wound: check eyes for dilation; if shock, raise feet 30.2 degrees, cover with blanket, monitor heart rate, pulse, and breathing before bandaging. Ketamine for pain, use 6 grams of hypoallergenic coagulent for bleeding. For hemophiliacs, increase dose to 24 grams. Convulsions: 21cc philarymagine. Infection of intestinal tract: 19.333cc of kohaminic syrup with 9cc antiviral and 12cc antibacterial agent. Follow with bacifidus lachrymosa one hour later to stimulate digestion. Nausea: 13cc of-"

"Thank you, Toki-chan, that's enough," Unohana interrupted politely. "...I see you haven't forgotten your medical studies."

Toyuki pulled two of the three books out of her satchel and placed them on the desk. Unohana recognized them immediately: they were the 4th Division's Physician Desk Reference from eight centuries ago. (Back then, it was only two volumes.) "Request to rejoin the Gotei 13," she said unemotionally (still in Japanese), although the yearning eyes spoke otherwise.

"Toki-chan," Unohana sighed and set down her tea. She stayed in English for Kyon's sake. "I... I don't know that it is even possible. First of all, despite my own personal beliefs, you are still officially registered as a banished criminal."

"Criminal!" Kyon shouted out, exasperated. "What? That's absurd!"

Rukia put a firm hand on his shoulder to calm him down. To Rukia, it was just a simple gesture; but Kyon's impression of the woman as a deadly regal was enough to silence him into embarassment for his outburst. He had seen how nearly everyone had bowed in her presence on the way here, and having seen her singlehandedly wipe out a team of NATA agents, he was easily intimidated.

Still patient, Toyuki was silent. She didn't seem to be fazed by anything. The quiet in her stillness made it clear she was waiting for Unohana to continue.

"Second, even if are allowed to return to the Gotei 13, your knowledge of medicine is from an era long ago. Even despite your incredible accumen for the subject, it might take you decades of medical training to fill in all that you have missed. Furthermore, there is likely no way I could assure you of a seated position or even an underseat. You may be forced to start at the very beginning, and serve in the maintenance units of the 4th division. I don't know that I could personally bare to see you working in the laundry rooms again - and that's assuming that your lineage could still get you out of sewer cleaning duty this time around."

That had been exactly how she started. Her father, Head of House Shihoin Pomodora, had pulled strings left and right to get his Toki-chan accepted into the Gotei 13. He had loved her and wanted her to have a semi-normal life; complete with employment and the opportunity to interact with others rather than stay at home in isolation. He had correctly guessed that she would do much better out in the real world, and so he arranged for her entrance into the 4th. As a Shihoin, she was quickly overlooked for sewer-cleaning work (lest her father Pomodora find out) and her operations lead assigned her to a group that did the laundry.

It had proven to be a good fit - she didn't need to talk to anyone and could fold linens quickly, efficiently, methodically, and perfectly. She never complained and always did exactly twenty percent more than was expected. The group lead had noticed, and when performance reviews were taken down, she was singled out for being a diligent and dutiful worker. In fact, Shihoin Tokine would have stayed in laundry division had it not been for faulty equipment.

One day, one of the members of her group had been ironing the sheets with the full-press tabletop steamer, no different than any other day; and the upper press broke loose from the ceiling. It crashed down, landing on top of one of her teammates; severely burning her and nearly crushing her if the five others hadn't been there to haul it off its hapless victim. The group lead had immediately gone to look for the vice captain at the time, Ukitake Kuneida. When Kuneida-san returned, he found Toki-chan hovering over the poor soul, both of her hands illuminated in green medical kido. She had already mended all of the broken bones - including perfect reconstruction of the woman's crushed face, which was unimaginable for an unseated officer - and had mitigated the burns down to nothing worse than first-degree. With Kuneida-san's help, the two had restored the victim back to full health within a few minutes; an astonishing miracle by standards of the time. That was how Shihoin Tokine got out of laundry duty and started in the medical unit.

She would have stayed an unseated officer, but Unohana had been thankfully tipped off to a purported conspiracy. Supposedly, some unnamed officers in her squad were thinking of turning her into their plaything, believing that she would be incapable of reporting any rape since she didn't seem capable of speaking. Rather than give any chance of the events playing out, Unohana found a way to get her promoted to 20th seat, the last seated position, just so that she would have her own room. It was small and not particularly cozy, but it was a room with a door and a lock and separated Toki-chan from anyone who might have considered trying anything. Even if someone was horrible enough to rape an autistic girl, they would think twice about assaulting a seated officer. In her division, seated officers met with the vice captain every day and the captain at least three times a week, and it would be easy to see if something was out of order. There wasn't a single officer who wanted to see Unohana's wrath, and the specter of Retsu's watchful eye had been a circle of protection for the socially inept Toki-chan.

Unohana couldn't bear to imagine that after all Shihoin Tokine had been through, she would be stuck folding linens again (or worse). If that was what Toki-chan wanted, Unohana would be okay with it - but after hearing the petite woman rattle off the PDR, it was evident that she had wanted to return to the 4th division to do what she loved. Six hundred years is a long time to wait to resume one's dreams. The thought of seeing Toki-chan so close yet still so far was just not something Unohana could accept - and that was even assuming Shihoin Tokine could return to the Gotei 13 at all.

Rukia interjected the heavy silence that had been hanging in the air. "Is there anything we can do for her? She could clearly be an asset to the shinigami, Unohana Sensei."

Unohana sighed. "Do not misinterpret; I completely agree. If I were you, your best option is to take Toki-chan to her Head of House and see what they can do for her. Shihoin-dono will have much more influence in getting her sentence pardoned than I would. Assuming that is dealt with, I can try to find her a home in my squad - but I should warn her that I can't upset the clockwork of my division. I don't know that others in the hospital units would be as patient working with her as I and my vice captain were back when Toki-chan was last here. I can make no promises, despite my most sincere efforts to help her."

Kyon (who looked deeply shaken) took Toyuki's hand, even though subconsciously he knew that she would not be comfortable with it. "Do you understand what she is saying?"

"Yes," Toyuki answered him (speaking in English this time), but for the first time, with emotion in her voice. It was subtle, but it was still clear: disappointment.

Her caretaker seemed confused by the emotional response. "Do you want to meet with your Head of House?"

"Yes," she repeated, her robotic voice returning.

"Are you scared?"

"No."

Kyon rubbed her knuckles with his thumb. If he had been more with it, he wouldn't have even thought to do such a thing; knowing that she would hate the touch, but he couldn't help himself. "I'm worried about you, Toyuki."

Toyuki looked at him. Neither Rukia nor Unohana interpreted anything from the shinigami's blinking eyes, but Kyon understood and relaxed and refocused his attention to the other two women in the room. "Excuse my ignorance, Madam, but I know only the most basic details of Soul Society. I don't even know much about Toyuki," his head sagging in embarrassment, "...I didn't even know she was nobility."

A pause in his confession laid like a heavy blanket of gloom as Unohana and Rukia waited for him to continue. "With deference to the Esteemed Madam Kuchiki," he said, "if this Head of House you propose we should meet with is anything like those I have heard of, I fear for her safety."

"The only thing you have to worry about Yoruichi-san is the hairballs," Rukia snorted a chuckle. Kyon's face was completely baffled in embarrassed confusion. "Or maybe Zarina-chan's endless stream of questions."

Unohana's giggle was unmistakably cheery. "I was a colleague of Shihoin-no-kimi for many years, Kyon-kun, and I can assure you that you have little to worry about. She is normally a very happy-go-lucky person, although you will have to forgive her if she seems a tad morose. She has just lost a very close member of her family and is likely not in her best spirits."

Rukia sat up. "Come, I'll take you to see her. Unohana Sensei, thank you so much. I would love to stay and chat, but Ichigo is patiently waiting for me and I still have to accompany these two to Yoruichi-san's estate. And please apologize to Komamura Sensei for our inconvenience."

"Of course," Retsu replied graciously, and escorted her guests out the door.

-:-

Ichihime yelped in pain as the little pink-haired terror yanked the comb through her hair. "OWW!"

"Sorry, Hoopy-chan."

" 'Hoopy-chan'?"

"Hoopy-chan," Yachiru said quietly. "You have these hoopy earrings." I want earrings, Yachiru thought absentmindedly.

Ichihime rolled her eyes. Kusajishi Yachiru had graciously offered to help her comb out her rats-nest of a head after the hollow purging in southwest Kajori this morning. She was supposed to have the day off, but old habits die hard; and when the alarm went off she found herself there before she even remembered that she was off-duty.

Her hair was filled with slime, grime, dirt and dust; and when Yachiru had heard about her big date tonight (because somehow, anything Byakushi knew, she did too), the 11th division lietenant had volunteered. Although Ichihime could have asked her servants to do it, she thought it was unfair to make them attend to her personal grooming needs. Besides, she didn't think they could stomach the hollow slime.

"OWWWWW!" Ichihime groaned. "Yachiru-chan!"

"Sorry!"

Ichihime wondered if this was a good idea. Still, Ichihime knew that Yachiru needed the attention. The loss of her father, Kenpachi Zaraki, had crushed her spirit. Madarame San Seki was dead, and the only other shinigami she could claim to be close with - Ayasegawa Taicho - was still in a coma, and his prognosis was not good. Most would have thought it impossible, but Yachiru had stopped being the bouncy, cheery child she always was.

As vice captains of the front-line offensive units, the 6th and 11th divisions, they had fought alongside each other for a decade now. Ichihime had always had an affinity for the little girl, even before her promotion to the 6th when she had dyed her light, feathery platinum hair the same pink color as Yachiru's naturally pink locks.

Yachiru finally finished with the dreaded comb, so Ichihime leaned backwards into the water basin. Yachiru, somber but at the very least distracted, began washing out the remainder of the grime. "Oh - hey, your dye is coming out."

"Not surprising," Ichihime commented. "Hollow slime always bleaches the stuff out."

Yachiru smiled but didn't laugh. The restraint hurt Ichihime's soul, but despite Yachiru's physical appearance and her generally immature, child-like personality, Yachiru was almost as old as Ichihime - technically, a legal adult. Ichihime wondered if she was the only person who came to this realization.

"Are you going to dye it again?"

The noblewoman shrugged as the water filtered through her hairline. "I was thinking that maybe it's time to leave it the way it is. I'm a Head of House, I really should leave it alone."

"I'll start calling you Blondini," Yachiru chided.

Ichihime chuckled. "What is it with both of us and giving everyone nicknames?"

"I guess we make a good pair," Yachiru noted in a manner that was completely unlike her. It was a feigned cheeriness; like the voice of a child who suddenly came to grips with the world of adulthood. Despite the superficial happiness, there was dark pain in her voice; and Ichihime turned to embrace her.

The little woman began to sob, crying into Ichihime's linen bathrobe. Ichihime shushed her with cooing noises, trying to think about what it was like to be motherly. Never having had an opportunity to learn as a recipient, it felt forced and awkward. It left Ichihime uncomfortable; even depressed. I lack the understanding of human connection, she realized; and the notion hurled her into an abyss of solemn despair. Tears sprung forth from Ichihime's eyes, and both sobbed together, a mess of anguish between them both.

But the embrace of another soul in pain saved them both; and in time, the sorrow abated. Both of them were women without mothers to have guided them. Sereitei princess and abandoned child of the Rukongai, Ichihime and Yachiru were from the same boat. They had more in common than most might believe. Comforted by their own tears on each others' faces, the two very misunderstood women separated and paused to breathe. Eventually, Yachiru started giggling, and it was infectious; the laughter seeping into Ichihime's lungs and out into her cheeks as the grave aura began to pass on.

"What's so funny?"

"Nothing," Yachiru said, clearly hiding something.

"What?"

"Nothing, Blondini!" Yachiru laughed.

"Yachiru-chan," Ichihime needled her in between short bursts of giggles. "What is it?"

Yachiru restrained herself. "Ken-chan would tell me it's not a nice thing to say," she admitted. "But you were crying so hard that for a moment, both sides of your face were the same color."

Ichihime couldn't help but laugh. Only Yachiru could get away with saying something so ludicrously offensive. "Yeah, well, your rosy cheeks aren't so rosy anymore, either."

"I'm sorry, I shouldn't have said that."

Ichihime shrugged. "Don't worry about it."

"Let me braid your hair for you, okay?"

Ichihime hesitated. The Kuchiki family had always been identified by the raven hair, kenseikan and white scarf; the Shihoin family their dark skin and purple hair. The House of Banzo's Symbol of Dignitary amongst the Houses was the blonde hair, tightly plated and braided into a long rope of platinum tresses. Over the years since Ichihime had ascended to Head of House, she had let her formerly shoulder-length strands grow until they now reached just past her breasts; beyond that she had no patience for. Normally kept up in a ponytail with her favorite green ribbon (an inheritance from her mother), Ichihime rarely bothered to braid her hair. She preferred the opportunity her free hair left her to fidget with it; a bad habit that she couldn't get rid of.

Date night, though, was not the usual shinigami affairs of the Gotei 13, where she preferred to be Banzo Fukutaicho rather than Head of the Banzo House. No; date night was part of the political and aristocratic circles of Soul Society Nobility - the horrid and demanding domain of social niceties filled with backstabbing power-seekers and money-grubbers.

Despite this circle of peers, though, Nikayui Adame was remarkably different. He wasn't like Ichihime - he didn't disdain his nobility the way she did - but he wholly agreed with her that it was antiquated, and that too many nobles believed that it gave them divine right to do whatever they wanted. Yet he was nobility - and although he was not the stuffy type, Ichihime was obligated to present herself accordingly. This wasn't just an initial introduction that she could get away with a casual kimono thrown over her uniform; it was an official evening of courtship. That meant plaiting her braid in the royal style - something her personal assistant, Hoshimura Makina, most certainly knew how to do much better than Kusajishi Yachiru; who had probably never braided her hair in her entire life.

Then Ichihime realized that she could have Yachiru braid it, and have Makina-san take it out and rebraid if needed. This way, she wouldn't offend Yachiru. It was a good plan.

So Ichihime agreed, and Yachiru set about separating her feathery, silken strands; now their natural color. Cooperating, Ichihime took hold of the various tresses and separated branches with a bit of a surprise - she had assumed Yachiru would be braiding her hair with a simple two-lock twist or maybe even a three-lock plait, but to her surprise, Yachiru had pulled out seven separate tails of her silky hair and began an elaborate series of microbraids, humming a solemn but relaxing tune as her fingers threaded through Ichihime's hair with remarkable dexterity.

"Where did you learn to braid hair like this?"

"Ken-chan," Yachiru admitted. "He taught me when I was little. He used to do it on my hair when it got too long, before we joined the shinigami and still traveled all over the place."

"He was a good father," Ichihime said, truly knowing what it meant to have a shitty one. "You were very lucky."

"Yes," Yachiru said, a wistful note of fond memories in her voice. It was the first time Ichihime had ever seen Yachiru act in a way commensurate with her age. "He was."

"He would be really sad if he knew how you've lost your spirit, you know."

Yachiru smiled cheerily as a tear simultaneously rolled down her cheek, belying the image she was trying to put forth. "Here, give me that one on the left," she instructed, returning her focus to Ichihime's hair and changing the topic. "Are you excited for tonight?"

"Nervous," Ichihime confessed. "It's a bit of a challenge, trying to navigate these social demands. Although Nikayui-san is very laid back."

"Do you like him?"

Ichihime looked away, unable to say anything.

Yachiru furrowed her brow as she turned to look Ichihime in the eyes for a moment. "You don't like him?"

The princess sighed. "...Actually, I like him very much."

"So then what's the problem?"

"...I feel bad for Renji," she muttered quietly. "I really ditched him. It wasn't so nice."

Yachiru was evidently still confused. "But if it wasn't going to work out with Pineapple Head, what does it matter?"

"I know," she sighed again. "It still feels wrong."

"Why?"

"It doesn't sound wrong to you that I just dumped Renji, just because he was a commoner? Before I had even met Adame-san? That's the kind of awful thing my father would have done, Yachiru-cha- hey, OWWWWW!"

Yachiru was yanking on Ichihime's hair really hard, pulling it taut in an obvious rebuke. "That's not a nice thing to say," Yachiru said. "It had nothing to do with where Renji-kun came from. You ditched him because you didn't love him. Everybody knew it. Even Renji-kun."

"OWWW!" Ichihime growled. "Let go!"

Yachiru eased up and went back to braiding the end of Ichihime's hair. Despite the many years of abuse (both physical and chemical), it was soft and lush; comprised of thin, delicate strands that didn't seem like they should have held together by themselves. "You have beautiful hair, you know."

Ichihime ignored the compliment. She didn't feel beautiful at the moment (not that she ever did, really). "But Renji loved me."

"Probably," Yachiru admitted. "But it doesn't matter if you don't love him back. No matter what, I'm not going to get Byakushi to leave Kookoo-chan."

Ichihime broke out into the most ridiculous snorting laugh. "Did you just say that you love Kuchiki Taicho?"

"Of course I love Byakushi! Who doesn't?"

Ichihime shook her head. She would readily admit that at one point of time, she would have gladly pursued the Head of Kuchiki House as a potential spouse; and indeed that had been a potential possibility for many years prior to his sudden-and-completely-unexpected marriage to Shiba Kuukaku. Well, at least unexpected to everyone else. As his vice captain, Ichihime had the opportunity to see little exchanges from the two captains, and it was undeniable that Kuchiki Byakuya actually enjoyed the poking and prodding and teasing that his wife gave him for being such a stuffy prince. It was actually really cute.

"But you can't be serious," Ichihime laughed. "I always thought that was a cute little gag. You seriously love him? Like, you would want him to marry you? C'mon, Yachiru-chan, I get the girly squeeing, but are you saying you have serious romantic interest in Kuchiki Taicho?"

"Well, not exactly," Yachiru admitted. "But that's not the point, Ichihime-chan. You can't feel guilty for never loving the guy. You tried, right?"

"...I'm not sure," the princess admitted. She wasn't sure she had ever really given Renji the opportunity. "Hey, wait a minute - did you actually just call me by my name?"

Yachiru finished tying the last strands of Ichihime's hair in a tight cobra knot, and then sat down in front of Ichihime with a cheery smile plastered to her face. The gesture was not lost on Ichihime. "When you're with Nikayui-san, do you think about Renji-kun?"

"...No."

"When you kissed him, were you thinking of Renji-kun?"

Ichihime's eyes bugged wide. Damnit, I knew that kiss in the restaraunt was a mistake. "Yachiru!"

"Well?"

"No!"

"When you sleep with Nikayui-san, do you think of Renji-kun?"

"What! ? No! Damnit, I mean, no, I've never slept with him! And for the record, I never slept with Renji, either!"

"Really? 'Cause we all thought you were banging each other all the time."

"WHAT! ? Goddamnit, Yachiru-chan, are you fucking kidding me! ? I'm a fucking princess! I can't just sleep with anybody, I have to be married first! I mean, sure, it's not like I've never kissed the guy, but for fuck's sake - excuse me, for the lack of fuck's sake - we've kept our clothes on!" As if anyone, even Renji, would really want to get up-close-and-personal with my big fat hairy moles. Yeah, really libido-inspiring, she mentally muttered to herself.

"So there you go," Yachiru smiled cheekily, as though she had intended to coax out that information all along. "You never loved him, or otherwise you would have been married by now and making babies."

"Wha? Huh? Yachiru-chan - Where the fu-, er, hell did you pull that from! ?"

Yachiru laughed with a wink. "I'm not a little girl," she admitted, her voice suddenly sounding surprisingly coy.

"Waaaaiiitt... whhaaaaattt?" Ichihime sputtered. "Whoooooooo- what-? Oh dear motherfucking lord, I think my head is going to explode."

Yachiru started cracking up. "Ken-chan taught me about where babies come from," she explained simply, her tone now much more reminiscent of the little girl most people recognized. "All parents explain these things to their children when they're old enough to understand," she said like a little schoolteacher giving a lesson to her students.

"Yeah, but the thought of you sleeping around is creepy," Ichihime muttered, realizing only afterwards that what she said was probably grossly offensive. Well, no more offensive then Yachiru pointing out Ichihime's face looked like a Maltese flag.

"No different than Shiro-chan and Karin-chan," Yachiru shrugged, not seeming to take any offense at Ichihime's remark. "Nobody here seems to think twice."

"True," Ichihime admitted, and realized Yachiru was right. Although, to be fair, Hitsugaya Toshiro was very much an adult; whereas Kusajishi Yachiru seemed to enjoy presenting herself as a little kid. "...But, even still - I mean, I don't need to pry, but... it's, uh, hard to imagine you in a relationship."

"Oh, I'm not," Yachiru said innocently, not saying any more about that particular subject. "But you should have a nice date with Nikayui-san. Don't feel bad if you're having a good time."

Ichihime sighed. It was amazing how doggedly persistent the little pink-haired terror could be. "Fine, okay, I got it. Now if I promise to give you chocolate, will you drop the subject? I'm getting weirded out over here."

Yachiru stood up with a frown. "Ceiling-Bonker said I can't have any sweets for at least another week."

" 'Ceiling-Bonker'?" Ichihime laughed. "I suppose you must be talking about Isane Fukutaicho."

"Are you going to bring Nikayui-san to her wedding?"

Ichihime thought about it. "To be honest, I don't even know if I'm invited. It's a small wedding, and I'm not particularly close with her. But if I was, I suppose I would bring Adame-san. I doubt he would be offended by the idea of being a guest at a commoner's wedding."

"Yay!" Yachiru cheered as she clapped and bounced up and down. "Hurray for Adame-kun!"

Ichihime smiled. It was good to see Yachiru getting back to normal. As if 'normal' was ever a word that could describe her.

"Go look in the mirror, Blondini! Is it okay?"

"Wow," Ichihime commented, surveying the elaborate patterns in the tightly bound rope of hair. The twists were tiny; perfectly tucked into place. Not a single strand frizzed or strayed; and the braid was even more beautiful than the royal style. It was elegant and illustrious; and gave Ichihime a dignified look of authority. "Yachiru-chan, you did an amazing job!"

"Hurray again!" Yachiru clapped. "Now go get ready for your big date!"

Ichihime hugged Yachiru tightly. "Thank you," she said. "Thanks for talking to me."

"You're welcome, Blondini," Yachiru giggled, but there was no mistaking the deep sincerity in her voice.

-:-

Nanao was sitting at her desk, filling out the mission paperwork. (Even when authorized, there were a lot of forms to fill out when you demolished lots of human infrastructure.) She was humming Norma (her favorite) when the door to her office burst open. Nanao was ready to provide Fuwu with her harshest stare for not knocking, but she held her tongue when it was none other than Hisagi.

"Sector 56, Building 12," Shuuhei urged her. "Contact is Hodo, subject is Godanduju; hostage situation with the potential for rioting - you've gotta go now!"

Nanao didn't need further convincing. She yanked off her blue haori and switched into the fastest shunpo she could. Bolting out the door, she left the paperwork on her desk in a chaotic pile.

Act II begins! If you don't know what a Maltese flag looks like, just Google it. Reviews, please! Next chapter: An unexpected turn-to-twist.