So glad you're enjoying this, even with all the angst hehehe. Sorry I've not updated in a bit – was away camping :) Hope you like this bit! xxx

Merlin stirred and winced. His head was pounding, how much did he drink last night? Why didn't he drink some water before he went to bed?

He yawned in a rather cat-like manner and stretched out. His arm brushed against someone. The warlock jumped in shock before peeking over to his right. Sam was asleep in the bed next to him. Sam was asleep in the bed next to him!

Oh god, Merlin what have you done? He thought, panic setting in. He then noticed he wasn't wearing many clothes. A glance at the bedroom floor told him that neither was Sam. The warlock screwed his eyes shut and ground his palm against his throbbing head. Bits and pieces of last night's goings on flashed into his mind then, but otherwise he didn't remember much of it.

Sam shifted in bed beside him then, and his eyes slowly began to open.

Oh shit oh shit oh shit! Merlin grimaced in anticipation.

Sam looked across and saw the expression. Ah, the dawn of realisation. It was definitely the alcohol then. Merlin wouldn't have even thought of doing it if he'd been sober. Did he even remember what had happened?

"Merlin…"

"I'm so so sorry, Sam." Merlin sat up and turned towards Kerry's brother, tugging the duvet to cover himself. It slipped off Sam a little and Merlin squeaked adorably, throwing part of the duvet back over the man. Absurdly a small smile teased at the corners of Sam's mouth, but he managed to keep a straight face. This wasn't exactly a laughing matter.

"I can't even-…did we actually-…did we…you know…?" Merlin looked down at the man at his side.

Sam shook his head and managed to speak around an odd lump that was forming in his throat. "No…we just kissed…a lot, and messed around. But we didn't actually…you know, go all the way…"

Merlin seemed a little relieved for a moment, but a horrified expression slowly trickled back onto his face. "Shit…I'm so sorry, Sam. I didn't mean to-…I didn't mean to mess you about."

"I know..." Sam smiled sympathetically as he hauled himself up into a sitting position. Merlin buried his face in his hands, groaning as he fretted. "Listen Merlin…" The warlock moved his hands to look at him. "We need to talk-"

"I know, I'm so sorry. I never meant to- I just- I meant to keep this as a friendship, I didn't….I can't…"

"No Merlin it's okay I didn't mean that, I meant…" he sighed. "You love Arthur, don't you." Sam stated it simply, rather than asking.

Merlin's breath caught in his throat. "How did you-"

"Well...amongst other indicators…you er said his name…last night."

Merlin clapped a hand to his mouth and he paled, which was impressive seeing as he was naturally very pasty anyway.

"Oh my god Sam…" he whispered, "I am so sorry."

Sam smiled weakly. "It's okay. You weren't yourself…I shouldn't have let us get into this mess in the first place…"

Merlin swore and picked up one of the pillows, pressing it to his face, mortified.

"Sam..." he groaned, a little muffled.

"Forget about me," Sam took a deep, slightly shaky breath, "why haven't you told Arthur?"

Merlin removed the pillow. "I can't," he whispered. "He hates me."

"I very much doubt that, no one can hate you..."

"He does." Merlin recounted the events of the past few days (missing out the bit about magic) whilst Sam listened like the good friend he was, though it was killing him.

Sam sighed and rubbed his jaw. "I don't think he hates you, Merlin...I think he's just conflicted."

Merlin frowned and glanced up. "Conflicted?"

"Well...I heard someone mention that he and Gwen used to be together - seriously with the name thing - so...I don't know, maybe he's conflicted about liking you..."

Merlin understood. "Oh..." it did seem a very plausible reason. And it made sense; it would explain all of Arthur's confused expressions, and it definitely explained his reaction to their kiss...but insecurities and doubts still crouched at the back of Merlin's mind.

"But what if it's just him not liking me in the first place? I mean why would the King like me?"

Sam chuckled a little at Merlin's apparently sarcastic use of 'King', he didn't realise the warlock had slipped up, and actually addressed him correctly.

"Merlin, don't be so ridiculous," Sam reached across and took hold of one of Merlin's soft, pale hands. "Anyone would have to be mad, or blind and deaf not to love you..." Hell, I would know, Sam's heartstrings tugged, and he hoped Merlin couldn't see the pain and longing in his eyes.

"You need to talk to Arthur okay? Promise me you'll talk to Arthur."

"But-"

"Merlin please. Do it-...do it for me yeh?"

The warlock deserved to be happy, Sam couldn't imagine him being sad and heart-broken, the very idea hurt. So even if he couldn't be with Merlin, Sam could at least try and make him happy and help sort things out with Arthur.

Merlin nodded, Sam reminded the warlock of Lancelot at that moment. Others first, self last. The warlock stretched his free hand out and brushed Sam's cheek, and the man leaned a little into the touch, smiling sadly back.

"Thank you Sam. And I'm so sorry…will you forgive me?"

Sam nodded and leaned over to hug Merlin. He held the man close, memorising the feeling of Merlin's arms around him. And then they pulled apart, smiling like friends.

"Well...time for breakfast!" Sam grinned, hiding the pain far too well, and Merlin chuckled.

"Always thinking of your stomach, Walker."

"You know me!"

"What the- what...no. I can't - no! They must have been together for a while...it explains why Sam decided to up and go travelling all of a sudden! Why did they not-" Kerry was pacing in the kitchen, Arthur watching her with a confused frown.

"How did you not know? You're his sister! And you've known Merlin for years!"

Kerry whirled around and glared at the King. "Well I thought you of all people would know: Merlin is very good at keeping secrets! The question is why?" Arthur raised his hands defensively and went back to eating the bacon sandwich he'd managed to cook all by himself.

"Ooh just wait till they get down here, I'll-" but she didn't need to finish her threat, for at that moment they heard footsteps on the stairs and Merlin's voice. Arthur swallowed his mouthful of bacon, which had suddenly seemed to turn into a tasteless lump in his mouth.

"Oh god I can't be here-" he began, but Merlin and Sam walked into the kitchen (fully dressed now). They stopped at the sight of Arthur in sunglasses, eating a bacon sandwich, and Kerry stood there, fuming.

"What. The. Actual. Fuck." her voice sounded like she was dropping a bomb with each word.

Merlin paled. She knew. How did she know?! And why was Arthur looking so intently at his sandwich, and while he on 'whys', why was the King wearing shades indoors? Oh right: he saw the bottle of vodka on the side counter. Speaking of which, his head was still pounding, where was the Alka-Seltzer? He was brought back to the more pressing matter at hand, when Sam spoke.

"Kerry, listen-"

"No you listen!" she hissed, livid. "Why does nobody tell me anything?! Everyone keeps things from me! I'm not a child! I'm the same age as you, almost! How long have you- were you guys together...?" she waved a hand at them, indicating her meaning.

Both men shuffled their feet, and rubbed the back of their necks, clearing their throats. They both spoke at the same time.

"Uh…several months..."

"About a year..."

Merlin's eyes widened as Sam told the truth. Well now he was in for it.

Kerry's eyes popped. "A year and you didn't tell me?! And you, Merlin. I'm sick of you lying to me! You said you weren't even interested in men a few months back. Another fucking lie!"

Merlin felt awful, his insides twisting. How had she found out in the first place? He glanced towards Arthur. He didn't want the King to be hearing this. Now he knew too. What would he think? Well this probably ruined any chance of getting him back.

Kerry saw the look and tried to calm herself down. Shouting wouldn't help matters. What hurt her most was the fact they'd hid it from her. Why on earth had they done that? She wouldn't have minded. And why had they spent the night together last night? She could have sworn that Merlin was too cut up over Arthur.

The King himself was finding this hard to listen to as well. Sam and Merlin. Merlin had been with Sam for a whole damn year? I mean the man had lived for a millennia and a half, obviously he'd have had relationships. But still, it hurt to imagine. Especially now he'd realised his…feelings for the warlock. Arthur rose to his feet, pushing his sandwich away.

"I'm er…" but he couldn't think of an excuse to leave, so he just walked out, deliberately avoiding Merlin's eyes, which were watching him with a pained expression. Sam glanced to his side and saw the torture in his friend's eyes. Well if he'd been trying to reconcile the two, he'd messed it up.

Merlin looked back up to Kerry. "Anything else you'd like to know?" he asked, trembling a little. Kerry opened her mouth, but closed it again with a shake of her head. "Right well then…nice chatting." And he turned on his heel and grabbed his coat from the hooks in the hall before leaving the house. Sam exhaled. Now he had to face the Spanish Inquisition from his sister alone, well at least he could say that he was expecting it.

"Is it true?" she asked immediately.

"What? That Merlin and I were together for a y-"

"No. I mean last night. Did you and Merlin…" she waved a hand.

"Well we didn't go all the-" Sam began sputtering, but he was cut off again by a groan.

Kerry placed her hands over her eyes. "Arthur was going to talk to Merlin last night. It would have all been sorted; they would have finally gotten over everything and talked, and finally admitted their feelings! But he heard you."

"Oh." Sam felt a little sick. That was embarrassing. And it kind of put another spanner in the already messed up works.

"Why'd you do it? Could you not tell? Why'd Merlin do it?! He's supposed to be madly in love with Arthur." Kerry moved her hands to grasp the sides of the counter, looking down at the pattern on the stonework. She glanced up at her brother. Sam's face looked wounded. The last sentence had kind of cut him deep. But Kerry wasn't to know that.

"He is…" he managed to choke out.

"Sorry?"

"He is. He's in love with Arthur. The reason last night happened at all was…in a way because of Arthur. You saw how much Merlin had been drinking at the pub. Well when we got back, he just sort of-…he was emotional, drunk, and cut up over Arthur…"

The dawn of realisation hit Kerry. "Oh! So he does love him…he was intoxicated and needed-…oh Sam." Kerry moved round the counter as she saw Sam's face crumpling, and pulled her brother into a hug. He bent his head to rest on her shoulder as he finally let the sobs take over. She stroked the back of his head in a more motherly fashion than a sisterly one. "How did you know? Surely you wouldn't have let anything happen if you'd known, you're not that dumb."

"No…he said- he said his name." Sam croaked. Kerry felt so bad for the man who was crying onto her shoulder. "I-….I thought that he still loved me…or at least was starting to like me again…" the words were hitched with quiet sobs as Sam's heart broke all over again. But at least this time he had someone's shoulder to cry on. Last time no one had known about them, so he'd had nobody to help him through it.

Sam sniffed then and pulled back. Red-rimmed eyes looked hard into hers. "But it's not like he was using me deliberately. He didn't even remember anything this morning; he wouldn't have dreamed of doing it if he'd not had so much to drink…he was mortified. And-…and he was truly sorry. He felt so guilty. I know he cares for Arthur now. He told me everything this morning. But it's okay now."

Kerry placed a caring kiss on his nose. "Oh Sam, screw Merlin for a moment- ah sorry bad choice of words…but anyway, are you okay?"

Sam took several shaky breaths. "I don't know. I'll be alright."

"You really care for Merlin don't you? What is it about him? Everyone seems to have the hots for that man!" Kerry smiled in a joking manner and placed a soothing hand on his tear-stained cheek.

Sam managed to smile a little and nod. "I know." He took a deep breath. "I've promised myself to help them. We need to get them together. I saw something in Merlin's eyes this morning; he really loves Arthur. And I can see now that Arthur loves him too. Merlin really didn't mean to hurt anyone last night, me or Arthur. Even if he doesn't love me like that, I'm still his friend. And he's still mine. We can't let them just drift apart, hell I've not helped, but I didn't mean to-"

"Hey no. Whoa. You've done nothing wrong – you didn't know. But I agree – we do need to help them, even if it's just to make them friends again."

Sam shook his head. "No. They belong together; they're like two sides of the same coin…"

A smile tugged at the corner of Kerry's lips. "You're sure you want to help?" Sam nodded adamantly. Kerry smiled and pulled him back into a hug. "You're the bestest friend anyone could possibly have. And I'm sure Merlin knows that."

When Merlin returned that evening, no one asked him where he'd been. Kerry and Sam had decided that Sam shouldn't stay in Merlin's room for the remainder of his visit. It would be far too awkward and painful on Sam's part. So the man ended up having to share a room with Mordred, who was at first a little annoyed at the arrangements, but after a dig in the ribs from Kerry he agreed grudgingly, whilst Kerry shared Merlin's room.

The others were partially aware of what had gone on. They'd heard snippets throughout the day, and were really lost now. So wait – Arthur loved Merlin, and Merlin loved Arthur, but neither had told the other, and Sam also loved Merlin and they'd been a thing, and Arthur knew about that and now things were awkward and Kerry was switching rooms why now? Also they were supposed to be engineering Merlin and Arthur together. Well things had taken an interesting turn in the medieval household.

No one really knew what to say to Merlin now they knew about his secret affair. It wasn't so bad with Sam; they'd only known him for a few days. But finding out that Merlin had recently had a boyfriend for a year and not mentioned it, now or at the time, not even to Kerry, strongly implied he'd had other secret relationships in the past. Not that there was anything wrong with that, but it was strange suddenly knowing all this new information about their friend. He really was a mysterious figure. What else had he not told them?

Merlin himself shrugged off the glances and whispers. He was growing more and more quiet and withdrawn, giving monosyllabic answers to general questions, and making excuses if someone tried to engage in conversation with him.

Arthur on the other hand was volatile. One moment chatting and laughing with Gwaine, and then the next shouting at something or someone for trivial things. The entire household was on edge.

Kerry and Sam were having a hard time trying to think of ways of rectifying matters; the best thing they'd managed to do so far was tripping up Merlin accidentally on purpose near Arthur. The King's quick reflexes had meant that Merlin hadn't fallen to the floor, but had been caught in Arthur's arms.

The tightness of the King's grip, and the look in his eyes told Kerry that he didn't want to let go. It would appear that Merlin didn't want him to either, but both men assumed the other was uncomfortable and pulled away, blushing slightly. Why was this so damn hard?! Why couldn't they just open their eyes? It was infuriating!