By KnotgrassKola008. Disclaimer I do not own Nepeta, Chopper, Fluttershy, Gavin Free, Alex (ImmortalHD), Setosorcerer and Martin (bodil40). Nepeta belongs to Andrew Hussie, Chopper belongs to Eiichiro Oda, Fluttershy belongs to Hasbro, Gavin Free works at Rooster Teeth, Alex works at the Creatures and Seto and Martin do YouTube. I do not do this for financial gain.
Warning: this chapter heavily hints at rape trauma or rather the aftermath of rape. If this triggers you then you can go to the authors note to get info there. Please don't force yourself.
Chapter 24: Be Strong.
It was only darkness surrounding her, Nepeta could only look around. It was was in fact an endless void, while everything was still black she could see. Feel at least the floor underneath her hands but nothing.
Nepeta herself felt very sweaty and her face was flushed, herself on her knees and gasping for air. Her olive eyes twisting in hope to see anything. Just anything, an object or even an familiar face. Nobody was around her, she was alone.
A alone in a mysterious place, nobody around.
"Hello?" Her voice echoed around for miles, nobody around.
"Can anyone stop kittening around." The pun fell on its face. Finally she got to her feet, shaking and terrified.
"It's alright…I can be strong."
"Liar!"
The violent voice caught her off guard and her knees gave out. Falling onto her side, looking around she saw white bodies. No limbs but pure white glowing heads, necks and bodies. There was a small group around her. In such a blackened void, these glowing bodies might have been comforting.
Nepeta felt nothing but guilt burning down her lower body.
"W-What?" Her voice now shaking.
"Liar!" One of them screaming and another joined in. All screaming at her together; all repeating the same words.
"Liar! Liar! Liar!" It echoed around and buzzed at Nepeta ears. Her hands tried to cover them but she couldn't block them out.
"Broken! Should have done better!"
"You should be at fault!"
"You caused your own problems!"
"B-But I tried, h-he was too strong!"
She realised her own words.
"Leave me alone!" With all the force left in her body she tried to slam against them. It worked, pushing the White bodies aside and then she ran. Just heading into a straight line and running, not turning back. She couldn't look back, her legs although shaking with fear kept on going until finally stopped. Gasping for air and collapsing in a pile.
Squinting one eye open and rolled to the other side.
Nothing.
Empty, black and endless.
No white bodies. Nothing, just endless black void. Her cat smile returned onto her face and finally pushed herself up. Scratching her head (rather her cat-hat). Then pushing herself up, they didn't run after her or are too slow to catch up.
"Well that's-"
"Nepeta"
The Greek girl froze in movement and turned around. Black sweater with the star sign of cancer on it, messy ginger hair, flakes scattered across his face, red burning eyes, baggy sweatpants, those grey trainers of his and that same grumpy face he always had. Nepeta felt her cheeks flush up and her eyes stare.
Karkat Vantas.
Finally she skipped forward, pushing the guy into a hug.
"Karkitty!" A squeal from Nepeta and feeling his soft sweater. She loved how soft it was and worn out. He always wore it and Nepeta always loved to hug it. Rubbing her face in the shoulder like she usually did.
Then his arms wrapped around her.
Nepeta gave a cut off gasp and looked up. Her cheeks now red and stared at Karkat. Was this a dream? Was this place even real? So what, she was bring hugged by her crush. So her smile widened and her olive eyes sparkled.
"Nepeta…" His voice still grumpy but this time he wasn't shouting.
"Karkitty, are you alright?" The artist asked, "you've stopped shouting and…you rarely hug me."
"Nepeta…please stop lying." A simple sentence.
"Lying what are you-"
Then she felt the hug tightened her body. It made her growl in pain and feel his fingers dig right into her back.
"Karkitty that hurts!"
Finally he let go, the Greek girl collapsed onto her knees. Groaning about her sides which now felt bruised.
"Karkitty why-"
No Karkat, her mother instead. This time her head began to slowly ache, nothing felt right. Everything hurts. Nepeta began to feel dread go up her body and consume her thoughts.
"Mom?"
"Kitten…you promised…you promised to be strong. I-I don't want you repeating my mistakes. I was foolish enough to be weak for him…he let me go because of that. That's why we have to be strong Nepeta." Diana breathed out shakily. Her body was trembling and her eyes were bloodshot.
"Mom I know I promised and I was strong. Strong every time, I don't need any cat for me…kittens though…" Nepeta mumbled.
"Oh Kitten…don't let love hurt you…never let love hurt you." Bending down, her mother whispered in her ear. This time the artist felt a sense of relief and comfort over her body. This was normal, her mother's loving advice and nice hugs. So sweet, so soft and so purrfect.
"Oh mom…"
"Nepeta don't listen to her."
Pushing her away, Nepeta found her older sister Meulin instead of her mother. Now nothing felt right, everything was too quick and changing. Her head was spinning with words and her eyes ached with pain.
Be strong…don't be strong…be strong…don't be strong.
"Nepeta don't listen to mom. I listened, then what happened, my boyfriend. My boyfriend of two years hurt me! He caused me such grief and pain, all because mom told me to be strong. I stayed by his side and I get manipulated like some puppet of a string!" Meulins speech echoed around the void, holding on to Nepetas shoulders.
"Y-your not shouting your words of even doing sign language?! What your cat puns, or mums or mine?! Those white bodies were shouting at me, calling me such names, Karkat was calling me a liar, Mom was telling me to be strong and now you aren't?!" Nepeta felt her voice raising and her left arm hurt. A stinging pain around the skin and inside.
"Don't listen to mom. Don't be strong, don't let your strength drag you down like me!" Her big sisters voice was now loud.
"But you told me that…I don't understand!" Pulling at her hair, oh god! Oh god! Oh god!
She opened her eyes to see her big sister not there. The white bodies were there again, Nepeta felt all the colour drain from her face. Pain shot through her left arm and this time through out her lower body. She tried to raise her right hand, her two fingers on the left of the thumb began to twitch.
A repetitive habit she thought she got rid of.
"You should have stayed with your friend."
"Were you that stupid enough to believe him."
"Maybe if you weren't so friendly then-"
"Shut up…"
The white bodies voices grew quiet.
"Go away."
They didn't move but leaned over. Staring at her.
"Move now!" This time she glared at them gave a snarl from her voice. The White bodies lingered only for a bit and then moved back into the darkness. Like they were being pushed away.
Scared, tired and alone.
Nepeta just curled up in a ball on the floor. Everything was out of order, everything was confusion and nothing felt good anymore. Everything was wrapped up in her head, jumbled up like the universe. All planets there but not in order.
Nepeta could remember that one year of pain. Going home suddenly from her troll friends, leaving behind Equis, Karkat, Kanaya and even Terezi. Telling them it was a big change but she needed it well. Being home with her family.
She lied.
Looking up, a small pile of white lily's surrounded her. There long white pure petals, tall green stalk and those yellow buds. Then a large gust of wing blew upwards, removing all the white petals from there buds. They were carried up and up until they disappeared from her view.
Then the stalks and buds, turned brown and wrinkly. Finally turning into just dried plant dust. It blew away as well. Nepeta felt lost, something inside her was gone and she was never getting it back. There are many things in life you can get back, there are some things in life you can never get back.
No matter how hard you try to bargain, cry, climb or even turn back you can never get it back.
"Oh…no." Her voice faltered, this time on the verge of crying. Her headache grew in more intense pain with her arm joining in. She wanted to go home, ship some otps, she wanted to make cat-puns, draw something cool, watch some anime, role-play or even be with her friends.
Her friends new and old. Hear Terezis laugh, Aradia whispering, Karkat yelling about rom-coms, Tavros making ummm sounds, Soullx typing on his computer, Kanaya humming as she was sowning, Vriska throwing irons in the fire, Equis punching the wall, Gamzees honking his horn, Erdian groaning and Feferi skipping about. Maybe John coming along with Nicolas cage films, Dave making a sick beat, Jade brining along Bec or Rose knitting.
Her mind wandered to Gavin giving a pain scream as he falls or messes something up, Martin laughing along to the antics, Alex grumbling under his breath yet smiling, Seto more relaxed while watching, Akura throwing things (insults or objects), Faith giving a gentle smile with a soft hum underneath and Chopper cheering on for whatever odd adventure might be coming along.
This time the artist lifted her head head and saw herself in a field of anemone. The shipper remembered a bouquet of these being sent to her mother, later she found then ripped to shreds in her mother's room.
The flowers had there normal purple petals on with stick stalk on them. They tickled her legs but now there was no light in her eyes. She was tired, she was lost and felt nothing for the future.
In the end she was hoping for nothing.
A cracked glass, muddied glass and only deluding about the strength she possessed.
"Nepeta?"
Her head head snapped up to see Gavin looking tired. Bags under eyes but looking his usual and average self. A smile graced his lips and he sat down next to her.
"You feeling alright?" He asked, looking slightly calm but Nepeta feared he would disappear in this world.
"No…this place is so confusing, different advice, everything seems to hurt and nothing feels right." She had a slight whine to her voice and leaned against Gavin. Honestly, this was the longest break she had since being here.
"Your not using your cat puns," Gavin chided, "it's confurrsing."
The artist let out a simple snort from the pun, though she still felt utterly like a mess. It was then she felt a usual hair ruffle and looked up, this time he held one flower in his hand. Buttercup yellow petals, a huge pink bud right in the middle pointing upwards and a long stalk like the others.
The Brit handed it to her and Nepeta took it.
"Here's some advice, maybe dumb. Stick out your hand." He explained.
"Why?" Some rather simple advice that Nepeta.
"It can help, especially when falling."
Then her vision turned white.
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A groan escaped her lips and she forced open her eyelids. Above her was a bright light that almost felt painful to look at, twisting her head away was a little harder than expected. Instead she spotted a drawer and a lamp.
'Where am I?' that thought sadly pounded upon her head in pain and made her feel sick quickly.
"Doctor she's waking up." A voice quickly called out.
"Odd the-"
"Nepeta!"
That voice easily recognisable and Nepeta felt her senses awaken her. She shifted her best but found everything sluggish.
"Chopper…" The Greek-girls voice croaked out in pain, almost sore. She gave a cough and tried to force herself up.
"Nepeta don't move!" His high pitched voice finally stopped her and heard some fiddling. Then she felt herself being gentle pulled up by her shoulders. Her back relaxing in the bed and finally her olive eyes adjusted.
Chopper was the first person in her sight. The Canadian doctor was wearing a white doctors jacket, a badge around his neck and looked slightly relieved. He was next to a nurse, another doctor.
"Chopper…" At least she saw a friendly face.
"Where…"
"We do need to get your vitals checked Miss Lejion." Ordered the other doctor with Chopper nodding in response.
"I'll make it simple," Chopper spoke too calmly, "your in…can't pronounce the name hospital, Gavin found you on the floor of the kitchen and we believe a robber came in and you fought."
"Don't move your left arm Miss Lejion, it's broken." That simple statement struck her quickly and she checked her left arm. The thing itself was already put on a simple caster and the nurse was putting a sling on her arm. Nepeta could feel nothing from her left arm anyway.
"Oh…where's everyone else?" Tiredness quickly kicked into her head and she rested against the pillow. She could feel a cold breeze blow over her body which is a relief.
"There outside-"
"Get mum and big sis." Nepeta bluntly spoke.
"Nep you need your rest and even now your state is…ok but five minutes." The doctor andnurse both looked liked they were about to interject until Chopper quickly pushed them out of the hospital door and ushered in Diana and Meulin.
"Oh kitten!" Diana already looked ready to cry her eyes out again and rushed next to Nepeta. Carefully petting her head and staring at her daughters face. Her mouth opening and closing but no words coming out, her eyebrows creased in a whirlwind of emotions.
Meulin of course had stress running through her body and already Nepeta could see those tell-tale signs. Unusual amount of black hair strands were covering her jumper, her fingers had tiny bite marks on them her her down on blue tail had been picked apart.
"Hi mom and sis…we need to talk."
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Nepeta watched as her mother and sister left the room. Her mother had no expression on her face, she wasn't angry nor trying to hide anything. She was thinking. The shipper herself became quite verbal with her mom and Meulin watched.
She talked about dad, the two spent at home, the storage room, her mother's advice and then just talked to her sister. Meulin seemed a little concerned where some bits of the conversation went but didn't butt in at time. Instead she stared and lip-read anything that came past her.
Then they both left, Diana walked out without. Meulin followed behind her mother and stared back at Nepeta. Just a simple wave and then left the room.
Nepeta at least gave a sigh of stress and leaned back against the hospital bed.
Crack!
Somehow that noise of the hospital door being flung at such speed that it slammed into the wall. It's door handle piercing that same wall and Nepeta could already spot plaster and paint slide off into a pile. A flash of blue quickly stopped at the side of her bed.
"Akura…" That name trailed off her lips, mostly from shock and being startled by a degree.
"Nep you alright? Tell me the fucking bastard who dare even touch your arm!" Akuras voice wavered between concern and anger. Holding Nepetas right hand gently.
"OI! Akura that was too loud and you damaged the wall!" Already the doctor looked quite annoyed. His foot tapping against the floor and pointing at the damage. Akura let go of Nepetas hand and flipped back her blue hair.
"That can be easily fixed, with tape." The fighter mumbled.
This only seemed to anger Chooper, "tape your still scaring Nepeta even after her ordeal so at least sit down and don't scare her!"
This she took in, grabbing on of the blue hospitals next to the wall. Slamming it down into the ground sat on it. Chopper stared at the legs of the chair that were now cracked into the ground. He held his tongue.
"So Nepeta are feeling alright? Any pain? Any confusion." Chopper asked away with Nepeta shaking her head.
"We can easily fix that wall." Akura muttered but stared at Nepeta.
"You haven't watched attack on Titan then."
Nepeta stared at the door with the others following in. Gavin stormed into the room and quickly slipped next to Nepeta bed. He looked tearful and tired.
"Are you alright? Please say your alright? Organys stuff in neat check?" A flurry of questions came from the Brit and he quickly stood up and held Nepetas hand. Her cat smile widened a little as the others came.
"Hi Nepeta," Seto came in with a smile gracing his face with almost felt natural, "did you like the reference."
"Refurring to such a wall is quite deadly." Nepeta snorted with a sly look from Seto. Only earning a barrage of confused looks from around.
Faith sat on the other side of the hospital bed, gently petting Nepetas hair and glancing at Nepetas cast.
"Do you want us to get you anything from your house?" Faith asked with Nepeta nodding.
"Hold it, we just go here Faith we can't go back." The Bulgarian pointed out with a look of surprise on Faiths face which then became tearful.
"Y-Your right, I'm sorry!" The pink haired woman whimpered.
"Well at least your not dead." Alex snorted and poked Nepeta cheek in a playful.
Her olive eyes roamed around the room. They all stood there, smiling happily with hints of concern on her face. Her friends, her cat-smile grew wider. Then she held out her hand.
"I need some help and advice." It was a simple statement but Nepeta feet weak. The what ifs rushed through her head and she gulped down her fear. That same fear of being outcasted and all those years locking herself.
"What's the hand for?" Martin asked.
"If…you want to help please touch or hold my-"
They all quickly did. Gavin, Chopper, Martin had to rush around the bed, Faith easily reaching over, Akura had slammed her hand against everyone else's, Alex was stretching his arm but reached and Seto calmly placed his hand.
Then Nepeta felt tears drip down her cheek.
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Mainly the first large bit was to be Nepeta thoughts and feelings as of right now. She was stuck in her thoughts and in general was confused like she would be in real life.
Her fight with Prium is mainly showing how she thought she could handle anything but at failure was quickly pushed to realisation that that's not how it worked.
White the voices are representing how people or rather society would look at a rape victim. This is not all of society but some who do and saying liar was a little separate but talking about Nepeta denying the truth.
Karkat is Nepetas crush who I decided would be quite important like Equis before the incident. Though Karkat calling her a liar is how Nepeta is thinking or rather been thinking for a while how if she says anything then nobody would want anything to do with her. A fear she has always kept to herself.
Then her mom and Meulin. Diana is telling her the advice she gave a long time ago, how she needed to be strong for herself and be tough so that she would never face what her mom once faced in life. Nepeta and Meulin took this advice and life turned quite poorly for them.
Meulin is talking about how she followed that same advice and realised her mistake. Instead she decided that being not strong is much better and that she needed others to help. It's easier but uses her observance to help herself a little.
Nepeta is finally taking control as she commands the White bodies to leave. This showing that they were thoughts this time.
In the end she thinks about the friends she is going to lose and believes that she will never be strong. Almost pushing herself past everything and thinking that it would be better for her not to be around.
Gavin in her head is mainly that little bit of hope left in her subconscious. Trying to tell her what she needed to do the whole time but Nepeta ignored her own advice.
Sorry if this chapter is really long, I needed to put down a lot this time and mainly had to look up a lot about rape aftermath. I wanted to generally show how Nepeta felt really.
So I am a Koala and my beta is i-forgot-adam on tumblr.